Some advice

Well said TPM!

Well put. My son has three games left in his hs carreer not counting play-offs. He is off to college to learn and play baseball next year. In ten years he wont remember whether he started one game or another. He will remember that we his parents were always there to support him

Very well put indeed. I have a little baseball website, and a couple fo years ago (2003) I posted this little comment on the news page at the end of my season....

"I travelled over 7,500 miles this season to get my ball fix. Every season I meet guys you will never forget, stories you will tell for years, plays that you have never seen before and may never see again, umpires you would rather forget, umpires you want for every game when you pitch, talented players that can hit or throw with the best of them, fields that make you use the term "ball field" loosely, fields that make you want to bow down to one knee and bless yourself for being a ball player, friendships are born, friendships die, guys who swear this is their last season, and guys who swear they will never stop playing....all in all I cherished this season in the sun, and can't wait for next season."

It's not always just the games itself and the outcomes that matter, it's the entire experience that is what is so worthwhile,

B.Hackett
www.Hackettbaseball.com

Great advice TPM! Son has not played much this year, been a real year of "recovery" (another great post TPM), we have still tried to go to almost every game. Many of the players have told us how much it means to them to have parents there that are supporting the TEAM, not just their son. Baseball is a great game and we, as parents who have all been through the ups and downs of the struggle to get in the game, should appreciate every player (and coach) on that field. The entire experience is truly worthwhile.

A big Amen from me!

This is my son's SR season in HS. He's doing well, but the team is struggling. I've decided to just enjoy my son's season and be happy for his accomplishments and the fun he's having his last year of HS, being watched by lots of pro scouts and dreaming of what might come. He's such a blessed kid, knowing that he'll either be playing SEC baseball next fall, or getting a jumpstart on his ultimate goal of playing in the big leagues.
How did I get so laid back? My parents are having a tough spring. Mom is in the middle of her second round of cancer in 18 months. Dad (her full-time caregiver) had a colonoscopy go wrong this week and ended up in the hospital with a punctured colon, worried sick about not only himself, but my mom at home, alone in her time of need. And here I am, long-distance, burning up the cell phone minutes, calling in favors from my parents friends, and feeling helpless.
Baseball truly is the high point of our lives right now. My son calls his grandparents nightly and their relationship is the bright spot in the middle of this trying time.

Enjoy your son's baseball and remember its a game. Webster defines game as:

quote:

activity engaged in for diversion or amusement

Be amused. Be diverted. But in the end, just enjoy the moment, for yourself and for your child. Everything else really doesn't matter.

I agree with you entirely TPM. My oldest son is a sophmore in highschool and when I coached him I stressed out on every detail and worked him and his team relentlessly to be the best. Now I coach my youngest son (eight years old) in coach pitch little league. Its kind of funny after years of striving for perfection with my oldest son's baseball, doing it all a second time with my younger son, I am much more mellowed out. I focus much less on winning, but instead enjoy the moment and focus almost entirely on teaching skills and having fun. Coaching the little ones again has taught me to back off a bit on my older boy and stay posative about the whole highschool playing experience through the godd times and bad. Its important to understand the age of the players and keep expectations realistic.

PS: Hearing from you and the many other veteran members of this site has also helped me learn to keep things in proper perspective. Thank you all.

KC, sorry to hear about your parents. Thinking of you. We had one of our biggest sports booster pass away this month and it is hard on the kids. They are used to seeing her at every game. Her friend reassured them that she will continue to come to support them. Sometimes I am not sure the fans realize how important they are to these kids.

quote:

Because regardless of how you feel, and what happened this year, your son probably had one of the best year's of his life just being part of that team.

Wonderful thread. I got things out of perspective for a while this year, because my college soph's season is not going as well as expected. But my husband was very good at pointing out the truth to me: Our son loves his team, loves college baseball, and is dealing with any disappointment just fine. Yes, he is working hard to contribute as much as he can this year, and prepare to contribute more next year, but he is also having fun NOW!

I could ruin the experience for myself by worrying and fretting, but I also have recently chosen to just enjoy watching college baseball games (we have attended over 3/4 of the team's games this spring) and not worry about whether my son will get into this game, or his ERA, etc. Whether he is on the mound or not, I enjoy watching his team (his good friends) play, and cheering for them!

Great post, TPM. Thanks for the reminder.

And KCBaseball, great post, too. Thanks for reminding us what is truly important--HEALTH and FAMILY. Last year, my husband experienced a life-threatening illness. "Helpless" takes on a whole new meaning, doesn't it? Fortunately, he pulled through...but it sure changed my perspective on everything. I'm tucking your family into my prayers.

Peace.

Play like it's your last day playin'... someday you'll be right...

Havin' the best times of our lives... Man does this go by fast...

Tremendous post TPM as always. I had that talk with my 08 a couple of nights ago. He is a soph in HS this year and has had a terrific soph season. He is hitter over .500 and has 8 hrs and the other night he went 1-3 with a k. After the game I noticed he was a little down even though we won a hard fought game. That night I talked to him and he said he rolled over an outside fb and should have crushed it. I told him to have FUN! That before he knew it he would be a JR then a SR and it would be all over for HS. Live in the moment and just enjoy playing the game and the attempt to win the game. You are not perfect and no one is. You will have great games good games and bad games. But most important remember that you are playing a game and it should be fun everytime you step on the field. As a coach its about this time every year that I get a little sad. I start thinking about the fact in a few short weeks the season will be over and I will loose some boys that I have had for four years. I think about all the bp and practice and instruction. I think about the bus rides and the eating together and the long talks before and after practice. I remember them when they first came into the program as 14 and 15 year old little boys. I remember the first time they shaved or got their drivers license and the first girlfriend. Now I see them and they are young men. Man you better enjoy every moment and savor it. Because before you know it , it will be gone. Great post TPM.

Love this thread. It’s topics like this that bring out the best. Thanks TPM.
I’ve worked up some gray threads of my own worrying about young Spizzle this year. My biggest concern being not knowing where the unsigned HS senior is headed next year. Yes it’s the uncertainty that keeps me awake at night, same as many of you. It’s hard losing the control that we worked so hard and long for as parents to establish. Cutting lose from that responsibility is more difficult than it seems for most parents I’d guess. Throughout it all, however, there's been that one thing keeping me sane, and that’s watching him play baseball. That’s also one thing I’ve never had much control over.
I’ll miss that most next year, watching him play, but at the same time I’ll have more time to spend with my wife. Give something up and you’ll get something back.
KC- My thoughts and prayers are with you and your parents. You're absolutely right, nothing else really much matters.

Its people like TPM and Coach May that keep me coming back here. Listen to them carefully.

I actually have to confess I got my inspiration from a game I watched last week between Tech and Clemson.
Mike Trapani, from Tech, who suffers from Touret's syndrome got sick on the field last week. They did stop the game, but no one came out to assist him as the announcers said that this is the way he wants it (Bee> can you confirm this). No one feeling sorry for him, no embarrasment, he went on to do what he had to do.
Then mine gets a start this week and makes two mistakes. Did we feel sorry for him this time, did we tell him to STOP feeling sorry for himself, you bet. Just enjoy yourself, and we will too, just like this young man is doing WITHOUT anyone feeling sorry for him. What a great inspiration.
Got me to thinking how we need to just enjoy every moment, no matter how painful they may be.

KC, my thoughts are with you and your family.

BTW, this advice goes to all those HS folks stressing about draft vs. college these days.

As Fungo the wise one always says, just enjoy the ride!

A related thought came to me when Coach May said: "You are not perfect and no one is. You will have great games good games and bad games."

I would add: In the game of baseball, sometimes you play (or pitch) really well, and the results (and stats) don't reflect it. Sometimes you play (or pitch) somewhat badly, and you luck out and the results don't reflect that. So no matter how hard you work at the game of baseball, some parts of it are out of your control, and you just have to say "stuff happens".

Interesting...

It's all in the perspective isn't it?

Was sitting in my car watching a high school game and our son's college coach comes over and talks to me for about 25 minutes.

I was shocked to say the least. He came to tell me that he was really proud of my son for the fact that he had shown him some real 'emotion' about not getting to play this year...and how he missed having him with the team for two reasons, aside from his contribution to the pitching staff but more than that his presence on the team "humor" and his light-heartedness that provides so much laughter and the like. I could tell by the tone in his voice that he wanted to hear that he was coming back to the fold.

It was nice because I got the sense that he was recruiting him all over again. He said they will be counting on him to be one of their top starters because of his experience.

...geez, and i've being kind of down-in-the-dumps this season, as my son "greyshirts". The team is now in 1st place and looks like they will make the regional playoffs.

I will be there to support them win or lose. But it was very nice to know that your son is loved and appreciated.

This season it came through loud and clear what's it's like when your son doesn't play.

Threads like this are just amazing - helping to remind me that things need to be kept in perspective.

Reminds me of the old saying enjoy the journey...

Ramrod:

I'm glad you posted about your son. I remember your original post about his situation and have been thinking about him. It's nice to hear an update, especially one that is so positive and encouraging. It's great knowing that he is valued for more than pitching-- for his comic relief...Don't forget that laughter is the best medicine!

I wish him all the best. And you, too.

08Dad & playbb

Well, it seems that so many young guys find that their social life is interferring with what is to them school drudgery.

Thank you for caring and your kind words of encouragement.

TPM, a very good post and you make some very good points that really touch home with me. We parents, including myself, tend to “measure” our sons by their baseball. That’s not fair to them or the relationship we want to establish with them. Each and every one of our sons will reach a point where they cannot compete. The game and the competition will become such a challenge they will be forced to hang up their cleats.
If we measure our sons by their stats when they are at the top of their game, then we must face the fact that we will measure them by their stats when they fail. My son plays a game every day and I listen to most on the internet and he almost always calls after each game. While it’s impossible to ignore the game and the results I do try to downplay the game and his accomplishments (or failures) in that game. After each game I used to ask about his game performance. I would ask, “How did you DO?” Now I focus on HIM and ask, “How are YOU doing?”

I think we would all rather have our sons as our friend ---- than a homerun ball on the mantle.
Good Post!
Fungo

Fungo:

Your words are a very nice complementary to TPM's post. Thanks!

There's a LOT of wisdom here. Thanks very much, TPM, for starting this thread with your very beneficial insight.

As I've read the posts, it's brought to mind a thought I often have when I'm at one of my son's games: It occurs to me that, REGARDLESS of how the outing might go, when he is on the field, he is on the ONE place on earth he loves the most. There's no place else he'd rather be.

The parent who is able to know that his or her child is in that place is a fortunate one, indeed; regardless of the child's chosen pursuit. Knowing that helps me reduce my own anxiety and enjoy the game, regardless of the outcome.

All you have to do is just watch your son prepster on the field and it is obvious. He is not only very talented but he is what every coach dreams to have on his team. For example in the fourth inning today NC State his a shallow fly ball to right and the rf for UNC dove and made a great catch. Robert would not take the mound for the next pitch untill he made eye contact with the rf to just let him know. After he recorded the last out that inning Robert was the first guy to go congratulate him on the play. Alot of kids are talented by not many have the attributes of Prepsters son. What a great ball player and even a finer young man.

All of these posts are making me cry!!!

.

I'll add to this...

Lil' 44 goes to DI school as frosh..

Bad news...

Big transition from rural suburbia to bright lights and big city...Has very difficult fall practice through no fault of his own...January decides to Redshirt...March breaks arm in practice...now on bench, injured, 5 hours from home, can't even practice...much...

Good news...

Having the time of his life...loves coaches, loves teammates...doing many team drills even in brace...Coaches say he is incredibly enthusiastic about helping the team in any way he can...had a fascinating discussion with him the other day about charting pitches and player tendancies as he does a lot of charting now...first to practice, last to leave...loving simply having the college baseball experience...

It's all in the perspective isn't it?

"The future's so bright you gotta wear shades..."

44
.

To All Who Post.

I Thank You.

I Tell my Son, Baseball is what you Do.
Not Who you are.
And it would not Matter if he was playing Tiddle Wink's.
I'd be Watching.

Love Them.
Hug Them.

Then Let Them Grow Up!!

the EH

quote:

Originally posted by theEH:
To All Who Post.

I Thank You.

I Tell my Son, Baseball is what you Do.
Not Who you are.
And it would not Matter if he was playing Tiddle Wink's.
I'd be Watching.

Love Them.
Hug Them.

Then Let Them Grow Up!!

the EH

Now I'm SOBBING!!!