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Sons that are starting their HS Journey

standballdadstandballdad5,000+ posts
Son will be an incoming freshman next year. He starts HS summer camp next week. My question to everyone is how many of you dads are in the same situation, and how many of you plan on going to watch? I was going to go watch just the first day to see how my son stacks up to the others. Is this appropriate to watch from a distance? I asked my son and he is fine with me just watching. I did ask another dad that went through it last year and he said there were quite a few dads there on the first day. Thoughts/comments?
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tres_arbolestres_arboles1,000+ posts
Glad you started the subject. My son starts HS next Fall and will be doing Frosh HS football program over the summer (in addition to his travel baseball team). The football program includes a 3-day no pad camp next week, parts of which I intend to watch. The rest is Frosh weight room and conditioning and nothing to see.

Frankly, I am excited as heck for all this stuff, and plan to support as actively as I can. I have always enjoyed watching my son enjoying the camp setting.

FWIW, I put my son into summer baseball camps run by the director of his travel program the year before he actually tried out for his age-group team in that program. A year later, director tells me when he selects kids he also selects families. He found my interest in taking a half day off work here and there to watch camp to be a positive thing.

I think he also liked the fact that I kept my mouth shut the whole time and never interacted with the kid. ;-)

Enjoy yourself Standballdad.
standballdadstandballdad5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by tres_arboles:
Glad you started the subject. My son starts HS next Fall and will be doing Frosh HS football program over the summer (in addition to his travel baseball team). The football program includes a 3-day no pad camp next week, parts of which I intend to watch. The rest is Frosh weight room and conditioning and nothing to see.

Frankly, I am excited as heck for all this stuff, and plan to support as actively as I can. I have always enjoyed watching my son enjoying the camp setting.

FWIW, I put my son into summer baseball camps run by the director of his travel program the year before he actually tried out for his age-group team in that program. A year later, director tells me when he selects kids he also selects families. He found my interest in taking a half day off work here and there to watch camp to be a positive thing.

I think he also liked the fact that I kept my mouth shut the whole time and never interacted with the kid. ;-)

Enjoy yourself Standballdad.


Thanks, I plan on taking the same approach, good luck to you and your son as well.
standballdadstandballdad5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by twotex:
What will you do with the information you will get?

In our state all practices are closed. My guess is that this rule came about after years of parents checking to see how their kids stacked up.

I know others will take a different view, but I would give him his space.


Just the enjoyment of watching him compete with other kids at a sport we both love. He has not had a tryout since joining his current TB team when he was 12. It is an exciting moment for both of us, hoping that all the hard work and perseverance has paid off. Plus I know and have probably coached at least half the kids trying out sometime during LL.
bballdad2016bballdad20161,000+ posts
When/If the HS has fall workouts and a winter ball team (club ball) that would be the time to steer clear of his tryout/practice.

In your OP, you mentioned your son is an incoming FROSH and were going to attend a HS summer camp. Doesn’t sound like a practice or a tryout to me? I don’t think there will be any harm in quietly watching from a distance, after all you paid for it right (Camp)? If the camp you speak of is anything like the HS camps I am familiar with, your son may be the oldest player in attendance and there will be lots of lurking parents anyway.
standballdadstandballdad5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by bballdad2016:
When/If the HS has fall workouts and a winter ball team (club ball) that would be the time to steer clear of his tryout/practice.

In your OP, you mentioned your son is an incoming FROSH and were going to attend a HS summer camp. Doesn’t sound like a practice or a tryout to me? I don’t think there will be any harm in quietly watching from a distance, after all you paid for it right (Camp)? If the camp you speak of is anything like the HS camps I am familiar with, your son may be the oldest player in attendance and there will be lots of lurking parents anyway.


Its a summer camp only for incoming freshman, so even though its not a true tryout, my understanding it is the first time the coaches will have a chance to see the incoming freshman.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
I only went to one of my kid's tryouts once. My daughter making the softball team wasn't an issue. She was already a starter. I was driving by the field and saw a couple of dads I hadn't seen since travel the previous fall. After I said my hellos my daughter walked by close enough to say "Don't you have some place else to be?"

Practice is about team cameraderie. It's for the team, not the parents. It was only freshman year making varsity was an issue for either kid. I wouldn't have considered going.

Both the baseball and softball coach banned parents watching practice. 14U parents with their stud (in their own mind) freshman kids became a problem at tryouts and practice. One, they became a distraction. Two, some video'd tryouts and practices then went to the AD with "the evidence" when their kids didn't make the team, varsity or JV the parents expected. A player had to be bad not to make the freshman team.

The only practice parents were allowed to watch was anything still happening after 6pm from the parking lot. My son always looked in pain when I was having conversations with the coaches. He never noticed they approached me to talk baseball.

In s0ccer, volleyball, basketball and indoor track I never saw any part of any tryout or practice. The s0ccer field was too far from the parking lot. I would never walk into a gym.

I coached my kids in fifty-six seasons of rec and travel sports. They didn't need me around their school teams. It was their space. They both had looks of horror on their face when I was asked to be a volunteer assistant in baseball and softball.
Last edited by RJM
BOFBOF10,000+ posts
Here is my perspective on the whole HS baseball process and growing up. This is the time that your son needs to grow up and take responsibility for himself. It is his team, his practice, his coach, and his time to mature and grow up. It is THE time for “daddy” to let him grow. Have him tell you about how things went when he gets home. Trust me after coaching my son for nearly every game up until HS it is one of the hardest things you will do - but you need to do it. Don’t go and watch, don’t mill around, don’t talk about Johnny, and how he looks better than Billy, just stay the heck away. Don’t be one of THOSE DADS. This will be one of the most important decisions you will make in helping let your son grow up, and it is going to hurt you to make it, but man up and help your son become a man.

By all means work with him one on one, go play catch, hit him balls, throw BP, or whatever, but do this together alone away from the team.

Just my 2 cents.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
I did watch all of a middle school tryout. I watched from sitting in my car in the high school parking lot across the street. I wasn't concerned about my son. I was curious to see how other kids transitioned to the 60/90 field.

In 8th grade I arrived at practice to pick up my son to notice he was missing. The coach told me he was practicing with the high school varsity. It killed me not to go watch. But I told myself not to go. I figured the last thing he needed was upperclassmen teasing him if daddy was there to make sure everything was ok. The enthusiastic report I got at the dinner table was more fun than it I had been there to watch.

My son also came home with a great story from varsity tryouts freshman year. The way he told the story was better than seeing it could have been. After being taken deep, but foul by the senior captain my son knocked him on his rear with the next pitch, then K'ed him with a change. The other varsity players razzed the captain all practice. The captain made my son carry two large equipment bags after practice. My son said he wore them like a medal. Would you rather see that or hear the story told with enthusiasm? There will be plenty of games to go see.
Last edited by RJM
jemazjemaz1,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by standballdad:
Son will be an incoming freshman next year. He starts HS summer camp next week. My question to everyone is how many of you dads are in the same situation, and how many of you plan on going to watch? I was going to go watch just the first day to see how my son stacks up to the others. Is this appropriate to watch from a distance? I asked my son and he is fine with me just watching. I did ask another dad that went through it last year and he said there were quite a few dads there on the first day. Thoughts/comments?


I have had three sons go through this.

Go watch it all and enjoy every minute. Watch every practice as long as there is no rule against it.

Be seen, but not heard.

So, watch, listen, be supportive and keep it at that. Appreciate everything good that happens, don't worry about the inevitable disappointments (easier said than done) and never criticize the coaches or other players in front of your son.
Last edited by jemaz
T twotex1,000+ posts
The three of us who voted against it all said basically the same thing: give him his space. This is for the benefit of the player. Casting off the bow line. Signaling to our sons "you've got this".

I don't read any of the 4 responses in favor of going as saying it is in the best interest of the player for the parent to go. They just didn't see any harm in going.

Maybe all of us are right.
standballdadstandballdad5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by twotex:
The three of us who voted against it all said basically the same thing: give him his space. This is for the benefit of the player. Casting off the bow line. Signaling to our sons "you've got this".

I don't read any of the 4 responses in favor of going as saying it is in the best interest of the player for the parent to go. They just didn't see any harm in going.

Maybe all of us are right.



First off. I think it needs to be okay with the coaching staff to have dads/parents watching from a distance. If they are okay with it then I think it comes down to the relationship the dads have with there sons. I know my son is perfectly fine with having me watch from a distance. He knows that I would not do anything or say anything at all during his practices/tryouts. I know there are some kids that do not want their dads there and I get that. Just trying to enjoy the moment. If I thought me being there would be a distraction of any kind for my son I would definitly not attend.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
quote:
Originally posted by twotex:
The three of us who voted against it all said basically the same thing: give him his space. This is for the benefit of the player. Casting off the bow line. Signaling to our sons "you've got this".

I don't read any of the 4 responses in favor of going as saying it is in the best interest of the player for the parent to go. They just didn't see any harm in going.

Maybe all of us are right.
Even though the softball and baseball teams barred parents from practice some parents watched from a distance. The coach can't tell them not to stand across the street 400 feet away. These were the same parents who ran their mouths at games.

I find those parents who can't stay away from practice are helicopter parents who can't let go. Often they're dads who where mediocre LL and travel coaches who want to see if the coach knows what he's doing. We had four I called The Board. They stood on the sidelines criticizing the coach loud enough for everyone to hear all season.

The three years I watched these experts criticize the coach's moves the team came in second and first twice (came in second this year). The coach turned around a disaster program after one losing season. It was the first back to back winning seasons in over twenty years. One year the team went further into the playoffs than any baseball team in school history. But these dads knew more.
Last edited by RJM
standballdadstandballdad5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by RJM:
quote:
Originally posted by twotex:
The three of us who voted against it all said basically the same thing: give him his space. This is for the benefit of the player. Casting off the bow line. Signaling to our sons "you've got this".

I don't read any of the 4 responses in favor of going as saying it is in the best interest of the player for the parent to go. They just didn't see any harm in going.

Maybe all of us are right.
Even though the softball and baseball teams barred parents from practice some parents watched from a distance. The coach can't tell them not to stand across the street 400 feet away. These were the same parents who ran their mouths at games.

I find those parents who can't stay away from practice are helicopter parents who can't let go. Often they're dads who where mediocre LL and travel coaches who want to see if the coach knows what he's doing. We had four I called The Board. They stood on the sidelines criticizing the coach loud enough for everyone to hear all season.

The three years I watched these experts criticize the coach's moves the team came in second and first twice (came in second this year). The coach turned around a disaster program after one losing season. It was the first back to back winning seasons in over twenty years. One year the team went further into the playoffs than any baseball team in school history. But these dads knew more.


RJM, I know exactly what you are describing, I too have seen them at games, but painting such a wide brush is not realistic. I know many dads that are not the type you described above. There are many dads like myself that really enjoy watching their sons play. Yes everyone wants their son to succeed, but that work and effort is done off the field with your son on a one to one basis. Many times I have watched my son play and see things that need to be improved upon. We talk about the game on the ride home and together we discuss what we need to work on. My son welcomes the advice, it would be no different with watching is practice/tryout. If after he ask what I thought then we will discuss it and I will tell him what was good and what needed work.
bballdad2016bballdad20161,000+ posts
I still see no harm in a parent watching or observing a summer baseball camp. I dont evern have a problem with someone watching a practice every now and again. Heck the Assistant Principal drops in on practice evey now and again, some of the most support comes from parents of players. You reap what you sew.

Interfering is something completely different and I think we all agree not to interfere. Parents that interfere are dealt with on a case by case basis. Usually with the assistance and support of the AD.
standballdadstandballdad5,000+ posts
Feedback on first day of freshman baseball camp. Dropped my son off, many parents both moms and dads stayed to watch, so I stayed as well. Varsity coach came over and welcomed all the parents and explained how the camp was going to be run. 28 kids came out and would be split into 2 teams for summer league play with other local HS. He said he welcomed the parents to come and watch both practices and games. Son after first game was asked to play with the JV squad. Smile
fillsfanfillsfan1,000+ posts
Let the kid have his space in his place. School. Did any of us want to look to the sidelines at practice and see our parents? I know I didn't. The last thing I was thinking about at practice or tryouts was my parents. And, I believe, the last thing a coach wants to see at practice and tryouts are parents.

When we had to drive them to travel practice it is accepted to see parents hanging around talking and watching. I think school practices are different. School functions are the child's world to participate in without parental influence. It is one of the only places a person under 17 can learn and grow and interact on their own in a safe environment, hopefully. A place where they learn to cope on their own, speak for themselves and even fail without mom or dad bailing them out.
standballdadstandballdad5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by bballdad2016:
quote:
Originally posted by standballdad:
Thanks bballdad2016, BTW is 1800 students considered a small HS?


No sorry about that, i thought you mentioned somewhere along the line that your son attended a small school. I am probably confused, which happens often.


No worrys, I really don't know what constitutes a small school. More curious than anything else.
M Marklaker1,000+ posts
I'm a little late to the party, but the decision was internal to you and your son. Another’s interpretation of baseball/parenting etiquette is exactly that….their vision, and it may or may not be applicable to your particular situation. No disrespect to the opinions offered but your relationship was the governing factor (assuming the tryout was open). In my case I chose not to attend, but it wasn’t because I thought my presence would retard my son’s growth or I’d be viewed as a helicopter parent.

Regardless of your choice, the excitement generated by this next step in your son’s baseball journey was very evident in your posts and I’m right there with you. There’s something so very special about seeing your boy take the field for the first time in his high school colors…..almost like a rite of passage. I've lost count throughout the years of how many times I’ve looked upon that field as a spectator and wondered if my own would one day be privileged to play between those very lines. Last week when I saw him standing at third with the team name emblazoned across his chest and a sheepish “do I really belong here” look on his face, I thought back to the countless hours spent together in this great game we both love and a grin so big it made my jaw ache split my face from ear to ear. I couldn’t stop smiling....for the entire top half of the inning I had the look of the village idiot. When he stepped into the box in the bottom half I flashed back to a vision of him as a two year old in our backyard whacking balls off his Fisher-Price Pop-Up Hitter and the smile got even bigger. Then he lined the first pitch into the right-center gap to begin what I hope will be a wonderful four year journey and I thanked the baseball gods for the good fortune.

Enjoy the coming years. Covet them and imprint them in your memory, because they'll be gone well before your're ready for it. I love this **** game!!!
standballdadstandballdad5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Marklaker:
I'm a little late to the party, but the decision was internal to you and your son. Another’s interpretation of baseball/parenting etiquette is exactly that….their vision, and it may or may not be applicable to your particular situation. No disrespect to the opinions offered but your relationship was the governing factor (assuming the tryout was open). In my case I chose not to attend, but it wasn’t because I thought my presence would retard my son’s growth or I’d be viewed as a helicopter parent.

Regardless of your choice, the excitement generated by this next step in your son’s baseball journey was very evident in your posts and I’m right there with you. There’s something so very special about seeing your boy take the field for the first time in his high school colors…..almost like a rite of passage. I've lost count throughout the years of how many times I’ve looked upon that field as a spectator and wondered if my own would one day be privileged to play between those very lines. Last week when I saw him standing at third with the team name emblazoned across his chest and a sheepish “do I really belong here” look on his face, I thought back to the countless hours spent together in this great game we both love and a grin so big it made my jaw ache split my face from ear to ear. I couldn’t stop smiling....for the entire top half of the inning I had the look of the village idiot. When he stepped into the box in the bottom half I flashed back to a vision of him as a two year old in our backyard whacking balls off his Fisher-Price Pop-Up Hitter and the smile got even bigger. Then he lined the first pitch into the right-center gap to begin what I hope will be a wonderful four year journey and I thanked the baseball gods for the good fortune.

Enjoy the coming years. Covet them and imprint them in your memory, because they'll be gone well before your're ready for it. I love this **** game!!!


Thanks Marklaker, I decided early on that I would support my son throughout his baseball career. It's funny because I too remember my son hitting plastic balls off a fisher price tee. I grew up playing baseball, HS up to D1 with no father too watch me play. He worked long hours to support and provide fr the family. I understood it by I wished he was their. My son and I have that special bond and he enjoys seeing me at his games and never minded me watching his TB practice. I realize it will go by quickly and just want to enjoy every moment I can.
standballdadstandballdad5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Innocent Bystander:
quote:
Originally posted by Marklaker:
I'm a little late to the party, but the decision was internal to you and your son. Another’s interpretation of baseball/parenting etiquette is exactly that….their vision, and it may or may not be applicable to your particular situation. No disrespect to the opinions offered but your relationship was the governing factor (assuming the tryout was open). In my case I chose not to attend, but it wasn’t because I thought my presence would retard my son’s growth or I’d be viewed as a helicopter parent.

Regardless of your choice, the excitement generated by this next step in your son’s baseball journey was very evident in your posts and I’m right there with you. There’s something so very special about seeing your boy take the field for the first time in his high school colors…..almost like a rite of passage. I've lost count throughout the years of how many times I’ve looked upon that field as a spectator and wondered if my own would one day be privileged to play between those very lines. Last week when I saw him standing at third with the team name emblazoned across his chest and a sheepish “do I really belong here” look on his face, I thought back to the countless hours spent together in this great game we both love and a grin so big it made my jaw ache split my face from ear to ear. I couldn’t stop smiling....for the entire top half of the inning I had the look of the village idiot. When he stepped into the box in the bottom half I flashed back to a vision of him as a two year old in our backyard whacking balls off his Fisher-Price Pop-Up Hitter and the smile got even bigger. Then he lined the first pitch into the right-center gap to begin what I hope will be a wonderful four year journey and I thanked the baseball gods for the good fortune.

Enjoy the coming years. Covet them and imprint them in your memory, because they'll be gone well before your're ready for it. I love this **** game!!!


Excellent post.
The way I did things has nothing to do with how anyone else should do things. Some dads buzz cut little Johnny's hair, some like it medium length and others are ok with hair a little on the long side. Smile
The regrets that I have of my two sons (18 and 28) sports careers are that I didn't show enough interest and wasn't as supportive as I should have or could have been. I missed so many things because I felt I HAD to work... Later I've looked back and realized that good times spent with the boys was more important than getting a job done a day or two sooner.
I've never looked back and regretted watching a tryout or event, my only regrets are missing so many of their big moments ...


Thanks for the insight from someone that has already been through it. BTW, I have had no contact with any of the coaches, not even a hello. All the information flows through my son.
WklinkWklink500+ posts
Went through this last year.

Practice: See what the other parents are doing. If the parents of the incoming sophmores are dropping off and leaving then it should be a good hint to go ahead and do the same. Some coaches don't mind parents hanging around but I know a lot of them discourage it. This was one of the first 'habits' that I had to break. I take him in, drop him off, go get some coffee or run an errand for the wife and wait for him to call saying the practice is over.

Games: Go in and cheer for him. Having your mom and/or dad there is important to the kid, whether he says it or not. Other than cheering keep your trap shut, especially if the HS coach is present. Another bad habit I had to overcome was my coaching instinct. It does not look good having parents yell out instructions to their kid when they are on the mound/at bat or in the field. Even if what you are saying is sound it reflects badly on the kid in front of decision makers for playing time and positions on the team.
standballdadstandballdad5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Wklink:
Went through this last year.

Practice: See what the other parents are doing. If the parents of the incoming sophmores are dropping off and leaving then it should be a good hint to go ahead and do the same. Some coaches don't mind parents hanging around but I know a lot of them discourage it. This was one of the first 'habits' that I had to break. I take him in, drop him off, go get some coffee or run an errand for the wife and wait for him to call saying the practice is over.

Games: Go in and cheer for him. Having your mom and/or dad there is important to the kid, whether he says it or not. Other than cheering keep your trap shut, especially if the HS coach is present. Another bad habit I had to overcome was my coaching instinct. It does not look good having parents yell out instructions to their kid when they are on the mound/at bat or in the field. Even if what you are saying is sound it reflects badly on the kid in front of decision makers for playing time and positions on the team.


This has been my approach, I only went to the first practice of summer just to see how my son compared to others and how the coaches run things. Since then I have only went to games and sat quietly in my chair.

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