JH
another masterpiece of a post!
Keep hanging in there! Your heart will tell your head when it is time to look elsewhere. I think you are definetely slated for good things in your future no matter what you decide
. Let me know if you run low on books as I have a few that you may be interested in reading while you are on that next long bus ride.
Good luck the rest of the way!
quote:Originally posted by J H:
Hey everyone...checking in from sunny and beautiful Myrtle Beach, SC. It's the All Star break in the CPL and I decided to take the few days and drive down the coast to visit a family friend who recently moved down here and enjoy the area for a few days.
The Morehead City Marlins are currently in 1st place in the southern division for the 2nd half of the season. We sent 4 players to the All Star game (2 pitchers and 2 position players), and have won 10 of our last 13 games. As I said previously, we fell into a bit of a routine with games, and other than the game against the Heroes of the Diamond on July 5th, that routine has been pretty much followed to the tee.
This post will be focused a bit less on what is occuring on the diamond and more about the experience outside the stadium. First thing's first: I'd like to thank CaBB. CaBB sent me a PM last week and asked if I would like her to send me a copy of Bullpen Gospels, which her son (a player in the Northwoods League), had just finished reading. I excitedly accepted, and a few days later received the book in the mail. In a 3 day span our team made 2 long road trips...one to Columbia, SC and one to Forest City, NC. I read the book cover to cover on each of those trips. It was a fabulous read, and really painted a great picture of minor league life and the happenings surrounding the game. It was both funny, dramatic and climactically emotional, and was very enjoyable not only to pass the time through the rather bland highways of the Carolinas, but also very informational. So CaBB, thank you very much for the book and I am definitely going to pass it along to some friends.
The players in the CPL view the league in different ways. Some view at as their opportunity to shine against top competition, and put immense pressure on themselves to do so. Some view it as an an extension of college ball and follow similar sorts of routines and habits that they did while they were on campus. Some view it as a stepping stone to the pros and seem to be here just to pass time until they're eligible to move on. And some treat it as summer ball, and come to throw the ball around a little bit and go to the beach and meet a lot of local girls. Our team has been fairly successful in finding a happy medium to fare positively on the field, while enjoying ourselves off.
There are many reasons as to why a baseball player does not perform well on the field. Most of the time, it can just be chalked up to "a bad day"...a combination of a little stiffness, a little lack of focus, and a lot of bad luck. But some days there are other reasons as to why people have bad days. I had a few outings this summer that I was roughed up pretty good, and my stats reflected as so. At first I said to myself "I just had a bad day". But after getting past the emotions and sitting back and thinking about the happenings, some thoughts hit me. Two particular outings, specifically, stuck out in my mind. One poor performance was probably a direct result of the night before, when I went out and partied with the team. I was wreckless with my body and stayed up way too late. Feeling tired, sore and frankly a bit hungover, I took the mound and disappointed my coaching staff, my team and myself. Three days later I decided it would be intelligent to take part in a baseball tradition with my teammates and throw a lip in (dip...or chewing tobacco for those who don't know) in the first inning. Some are used to this practice, but I'm not. I sparingly do it (afraid of addiction and not too fond of the taste to be honest) and quickly became dizzy and felt sick. By the 4th inning I felt better, but my body was drained. Come the 7th when I was called upon to pitch, I performed poorly.
Are partying and tobacco direct reasons why I did not perform well on those particular days? Maybe, maybe not. But they are certainly possible reasons as to why this would happen. These two experiences taught me a little bit about myself and what I can handle. Some guys can party every night and have no lasting effect on the field. Some guys can eat fast food and not exercise and still rake during the game. But I am not one of those people, and I learned this the hard way. For high school players or parents that happen to stumble upon my post(s), please understand that it is part of life. Experimenting and enjoying yourself is part of the age that my peers and I are at. But one has to be smart with what they do and prioritize accordingly. I made the mistake of taking my body for granted and suffered consequences (luckily a bad outing won't ruin my career) accordingly. The irony of these last two paragraphs are very apparent to me, being that I'm a 20 year old college kid who is lecturing about taking care of one's body. But from experience, it does matter.
A few weeks ago I went to the local library to read books to children. When the kids came into the room, the librarian introduced me as an "almost famous" baseball player. I rolled my eyes and gave a warm smile, but it is sometimes very tough to come to grips with the fact that this is true. While it is evident through my past posts that the life I am experiencing through this summer team is fabulous and I love it, the reality of the situation is that I am among a group of several thousand that are just trying to prove myself to the world in order to fulfill a dream. While that dream is a pipeline for most, the yearning for it has driven us to the point that we are at. The CPL, as well as many other leagues, provides a wonderful situation for the select college players that have the opportunity to live it. But the drive that pushes us is to continue to play and continue to move on to the next level. And sometimes it is frustrating to sit back and think about it all. I've been playing baseball since I was 5 years old and I believe it is safe to say that I have more successful experiences on the field than I have had negative experiences on the field. And through all that time, I've put in countless hours of sweat, soreness, smiles and tears. A lot of my life is dedicated towards baseball, the passion that I have for the game and the desire to be successful in playing it. College ball and the CPL are awesome, but yet there is still so far to go, so much do to, and so much to learn. I am 20 years old and find myself questioning the necessity of what I'm doing, questioning the importance of everything. Knowing that despite where I am right now, the chances are still so very slim. The doubt instilled in my head grows on me to the point where I've had sleepless nights saying that continuing to play is pointless and I should just give up right now and move on with my life.
I have always been an introspective person, and I think that's part of where the skills I have acquired in writing come into play. I've found it easy to portray my emotions into words and formulate them so that other people can get a better understanding of how I feel. These negative thoughts I've had are not rare, trust me. Any competitive baseball player that tells you that he's never thought about quitting the game is lying to you. The defeats of the game and the stress it causes wears you out to the point of lack of desire many times. But as Dirk Hayhurst said several times in the book the Bullpen Gospels, for some reason baseball players shake off those thoughts and set foot on that field once again the next day. I can't really explain what forces me to put the negatives aside and push myself back to the park the next day, but I can tell you this: I never regret it. Once you are back out there, it feels like home once again. Once I'm back out there, I start to wonder how I ever could have even considered quitting this game. I call myself stupid and happily smile.
I've been playing since I was 5 years old and hope to be involved in the game for as long as I can in whatever way I can. The experience I've had this summer might be a pressure-packed stage, or a stepping stone, or a party. Whatever it is, I've learned to appreciate every minute of it...positives and negatives...because it's a piece of the entire puzzle. Puzzles are tough to put together but they sure can be a lot of fun sometimes, and baseball is one of the toughest, grinding, and most rewarding puzzles one has to put together in life.
One of the most enjoyable posts I have ever read on the hsbaseballweb. Josh - you have a wonderful, wonderful gift - even if you do disagree with me sometimes
Seriously, I think with your attitude and honesty with yourself, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, I believe you can have a future in baseball - beyond college
quote:Seriously, I think with your attitude and honesty with yourself, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, I believe you can have a future in baseball - beyond college good It's all about what you are willing to let your mind believe. Thoughts become things.
You have a talent for writing son.You should write more, keep all of it in a journal, and write a book someday.Your posts are honest, entertaining,interesting, and just awesome.Honest, great stuff. Best of luck.
JH:I just noticed this post and read it all the way through from the beginning. It is a masterpiece and definitely should qualify as a golden thread. Keep up the great job both with your career and writing. I look forward to following both!
Josh, you are amazing and wise beyond your years. It's especially helpful for parents to read your thoughts because quite often our sons don't share their deep thoughts with us enough.
I agree with Fan that this would make the start of an interesting book. Hopefully you are keeping a journal of all your experiences. Have fun and work hard for the rest of the summer.
Keep the stories coming!
I agree with Fan that this would make the start of an interesting book. Hopefully you are keeping a journal of all your experiences. Have fun and work hard for the rest of the summer.
Keep the stories coming!
JH, your posts are great reading. It's amazing your only 20 years old.
You should be very proud of yourself. As should your parents, your school and your CPL team. Keep up the good work on the field and on the computer. It sounds like you could have a bright future in either one.
Continued good luck.
You should be very proud of yourself. As should your parents, your school and your CPL team. Keep up the good work on the field and on the computer. It sounds like you could have a bright future in either one.
Continued good luck.
where are you playing at in NC? im going out there for vacation next weekend and maybe i could catch a game. i will be staying in Erwin from the 1st thru the 7th i believe. id love to see some good ball! im from central Illinois so we dont have much good baseball around! also id like to ask you for some advice if you wouldnt mind: i pitch every now and then and i have some wicked breaking balls and dont throw very hard but i have good movement. i thrown a 12-6 curve and a slider. should i keep them both and mix them in with my circle change and cutter? or stick with just one? since i mite be playing against 16 yr olds next year i could really use your help(:
bulldog- You have a PM
whats a PM?
quote:Originally posted by bulldog2010:
whats a PM?
Sometimes it's kind of like a BM, only in writing.
JH,
My sons are 15 and 16. I can not imagine either of them writing with the depth that you do in the next 4-5 years. I wish you all the best as you pursue your baseball dreams. You have undeniable talent in communicating your passion, and I believe you will have tremendous success doing what you love.
My sons are 15 and 16. I can not imagine either of them writing with the depth that you do in the next 4-5 years. I wish you all the best as you pursue your baseball dreams. You have undeniable talent in communicating your passion, and I believe you will have tremendous success doing what you love.
That is awesome Josh. You have a fan for life. And I would bet many more that you will never know or meet. You have obviously made a big impression on this young man. But I would be willing to bet you have gotten way more in return from your experience this summer. Great stuff Josh.
I haven't been around the HSBBW as much I used to be but boy am I glad I stumbled upon this tread...
JH your posts have really painted a wonderful picture reflecting the highs and lows of a baseball player trying to figure things out. As much as I enjoy reading Dirks " non prospect diary " and “Bullpen Gospels”, I have to say I'd put you right up there with him in your ability to share the baseball experience on paper.
I look forward to reading more about your journey... you might think about submitting some of your work to a publication like Baseball America… I know I’d read it.
JH your posts have really painted a wonderful picture reflecting the highs and lows of a baseball player trying to figure things out. As much as I enjoy reading Dirks " non prospect diary " and “Bullpen Gospels”, I have to say I'd put you right up there with him in your ability to share the baseball experience on paper.
I look forward to reading more about your journey... you might think about submitting some of your work to a publication like Baseball America… I know I’d read it.
JH,
Just finished reading your lastest addition. My first thought "God, this kid is good."
My hope is that all our sons can have and enjoy their baseball travels as much as you are able to. Thank you.
Just finished reading your lastest addition. My first thought "God, this kid is good."
My hope is that all our sons can have and enjoy their baseball travels as much as you are able to. Thank you.
I've been getting a bunch of PMs from members who asked if I would be posting anymore in this thread, so I decided it'd be best if I did so. This will be the last post I will put up here, simply being that the summer season has come to a close. Thanks to all that have read it and appreciated what I've said, it's helped me to write everything because now I can look back and relive some of things that slip my mind from the summer.
We ended up with a 35-22 overall record, winning the Coastal Plain League Southern Division title. Unfortunately, we were upset in the playoffs by the Edenton Steamers, who went on to the championship round of the CPL before bowing out to the Forest City Owls.
Our season finished up on Friday, August 6th. The game in which we got eliminated was an away game, and our bus arrived back in the stadium parking lot around 1 AM. To our surprise, there was a collection of about 40 people standing in the parking lot, with signs and confetti and noise-makers. They all cheered when we got off the bus and we took pictures with them, signed a few more autographs and thanked them once more. It was sort of surprising to see this crowd there. We'd known that the town was behind the team, being that attendance was good and there was good coverage in the area. But the reception in the parking lot put things into perspective. There was a collection of little kids who leaned against their parents in tears because the season was over. There were adults who painted their faces with Marlins colors and pleaded with the underclassmen to return the following summer. We saw that the team was more than an event that they could enjoy and a league that we could just play in to get better. The populous of the town really connected with the team, and put their hearts and souls into cheering us on.
I became close with a young man this summer named Aaron. Aaron was 19 years old, recently a high school graduate. He suffers from severe cerebral palsy, causing him to be wheelchair ridden. He frequented our games in the early part of the summer, placing himself near the dugout in the stands and very much in view of the team. He quickly began to strike up conversation with us, and we kindly obliged. Most of the guys simply felt bad because he was disabled, but quickly grew a bit detached from Aaron because frankly, he made some obnoxious comments. He was trying to fit in with our sense of humor (baseball dugout jokes are typically very vulgar), and was at first taken the wrong way. I got sick of the kid in the wheelchair making fun of me initially, and sort of placed myself accordingly so that I didn't have to speak to him much.
Over time he sort of grew on me though. He was obnoxious, but he was funny. And he could take a joke in return. I started speaking to him more, and some of us developed a friendly relationship with him. One day, he asked me if I could drive him home after the game. I asked him why and he said that he didn't want to wake his mom up. I grudgingly obliged and drove him home. The next day, I pitched very well and we snapped a losing streak and being that I am a baseball player- and superstitious- it was a no brainer...I had to drive Aaron home again. And lo and behold, we won the next game as well.
And so it began...I would pick him up from his house everyday and get to the park for batting practice. He would hang out in the dugout, messing around with the team. Sometimes we would have a catch with him on the side. The team owner quickly gave him a job at the park as a ticket collector and an usher, and he would sit in his usual location next to the dugout and intently watch every game. After all the fans cleared out and we ate our post-game meals, I would help him out of his chair and into my car and drive him back to his house.
One day, Aaron decided that he wanted to shag fly balls with the team. He went up to our head coach and asked for permission, and our coach said "if Josh is out there with you to make sure you don't get hurt, sure." So he wheeled himself out to left centerfield and shagged with me during BP. Every ball that was hit in our direction would be given to Aaron to toss in towards the bucket. About halfway through the session, he turned to me and said "the greatest day of my life was the day I got to meet the Tampa Bay Rays after their game. But this is the second greatest day of my life. I'll never forget this man."
Aaron called me in tears after we lost and told me he was going to really miss everyone. I told him don't worry, the team will be back next year. He said he didn't want next year, he wanted the same group of guys and he didn't want anything to change. I reassured him that change was part of the beauty of the game of baseball.
After an absolutely miserable drive back home to New York (Washington DC traffic is no fun), I finally settled back into my own bed. Since February, I had previously spent a total of 12 hours at home. After my college team lost in regionals I had just enough time to get home, get laundry done, eat a meal and go to sleep before getting on the road and going to North Carolina. The relief of being home, seeing the family, and being able to relax for some time has been absolutely fabulous.
This year has been quite the roller coaster for me personally. In February in a span of two weeks I had two seizures in my dorm room at school. I had never had any neurological problems previously, and the random events were unexplainable. I saw a specialist and basically said to him "give me whatever you can so I can get back on the mound." He told me I couldn't drive a car for 90 days, I couldn't drink any alcohol and prescribed medicine called Keppra in pill form, which I have to take twice a day everyday. Since February 15th, I have never missed a pill, and have had no ill-effects since. 2 weeks later I was on the diamond again, and considered it a blessing. My college team finished in 3rd place in our regional- the first regional appearance in school history. I led the conference in ERA for the second year in a row, which pleased me because allowing the least amount of runs means my team has the best chance to win the game. My summer team won our division and I continued to have success on the mound.
I will be heading back to school this Friday, and next Wednesday is the first day of classes. Saturday the 28th is our first day of fall practice...my first day as an upperclassman on the field in college.
Thanks to everyone who read all these posts over the last few months once again, because it allows me to look back and remember things from my experience. I encourage anyone who has experiences that could help others to share them, because I learned a lot about the game myself just from reading on this site alone.
We ended up with a 35-22 overall record, winning the Coastal Plain League Southern Division title. Unfortunately, we were upset in the playoffs by the Edenton Steamers, who went on to the championship round of the CPL before bowing out to the Forest City Owls.
Our season finished up on Friday, August 6th. The game in which we got eliminated was an away game, and our bus arrived back in the stadium parking lot around 1 AM. To our surprise, there was a collection of about 40 people standing in the parking lot, with signs and confetti and noise-makers. They all cheered when we got off the bus and we took pictures with them, signed a few more autographs and thanked them once more. It was sort of surprising to see this crowd there. We'd known that the town was behind the team, being that attendance was good and there was good coverage in the area. But the reception in the parking lot put things into perspective. There was a collection of little kids who leaned against their parents in tears because the season was over. There were adults who painted their faces with Marlins colors and pleaded with the underclassmen to return the following summer. We saw that the team was more than an event that they could enjoy and a league that we could just play in to get better. The populous of the town really connected with the team, and put their hearts and souls into cheering us on.
I became close with a young man this summer named Aaron. Aaron was 19 years old, recently a high school graduate. He suffers from severe cerebral palsy, causing him to be wheelchair ridden. He frequented our games in the early part of the summer, placing himself near the dugout in the stands and very much in view of the team. He quickly began to strike up conversation with us, and we kindly obliged. Most of the guys simply felt bad because he was disabled, but quickly grew a bit detached from Aaron because frankly, he made some obnoxious comments. He was trying to fit in with our sense of humor (baseball dugout jokes are typically very vulgar), and was at first taken the wrong way. I got sick of the kid in the wheelchair making fun of me initially, and sort of placed myself accordingly so that I didn't have to speak to him much.
Over time he sort of grew on me though. He was obnoxious, but he was funny. And he could take a joke in return. I started speaking to him more, and some of us developed a friendly relationship with him. One day, he asked me if I could drive him home after the game. I asked him why and he said that he didn't want to wake his mom up. I grudgingly obliged and drove him home. The next day, I pitched very well and we snapped a losing streak and being that I am a baseball player- and superstitious- it was a no brainer...I had to drive Aaron home again. And lo and behold, we won the next game as well.
And so it began...I would pick him up from his house everyday and get to the park for batting practice. He would hang out in the dugout, messing around with the team. Sometimes we would have a catch with him on the side. The team owner quickly gave him a job at the park as a ticket collector and an usher, and he would sit in his usual location next to the dugout and intently watch every game. After all the fans cleared out and we ate our post-game meals, I would help him out of his chair and into my car and drive him back to his house.
One day, Aaron decided that he wanted to shag fly balls with the team. He went up to our head coach and asked for permission, and our coach said "if Josh is out there with you to make sure you don't get hurt, sure." So he wheeled himself out to left centerfield and shagged with me during BP. Every ball that was hit in our direction would be given to Aaron to toss in towards the bucket. About halfway through the session, he turned to me and said "the greatest day of my life was the day I got to meet the Tampa Bay Rays after their game. But this is the second greatest day of my life. I'll never forget this man."
Aaron called me in tears after we lost and told me he was going to really miss everyone. I told him don't worry, the team will be back next year. He said he didn't want next year, he wanted the same group of guys and he didn't want anything to change. I reassured him that change was part of the beauty of the game of baseball.
After an absolutely miserable drive back home to New York (Washington DC traffic is no fun), I finally settled back into my own bed. Since February, I had previously spent a total of 12 hours at home. After my college team lost in regionals I had just enough time to get home, get laundry done, eat a meal and go to sleep before getting on the road and going to North Carolina. The relief of being home, seeing the family, and being able to relax for some time has been absolutely fabulous.
This year has been quite the roller coaster for me personally. In February in a span of two weeks I had two seizures in my dorm room at school. I had never had any neurological problems previously, and the random events were unexplainable. I saw a specialist and basically said to him "give me whatever you can so I can get back on the mound." He told me I couldn't drive a car for 90 days, I couldn't drink any alcohol and prescribed medicine called Keppra in pill form, which I have to take twice a day everyday. Since February 15th, I have never missed a pill, and have had no ill-effects since. 2 weeks later I was on the diamond again, and considered it a blessing. My college team finished in 3rd place in our regional- the first regional appearance in school history. I led the conference in ERA for the second year in a row, which pleased me because allowing the least amount of runs means my team has the best chance to win the game. My summer team won our division and I continued to have success on the mound.
I will be heading back to school this Friday, and next Wednesday is the first day of classes. Saturday the 28th is our first day of fall practice...my first day as an upperclassman on the field in college.
Thanks to everyone who read all these posts over the last few months once again, because it allows me to look back and remember things from my experience. I encourage anyone who has experiences that could help others to share them, because I learned a lot about the game myself just from reading on this site alone.
jh
your wise beyond your years.i think i have enjoyed your journey as much as you have.
keep at it.
your wise beyond your years.i think i have enjoyed your journey as much as you have.
keep at it.
Josh I have never met you but I feel like I really know you. That is a credit to your writing, your ability to put your feelings in writing and taking me to a place I can actually see what you are talking about. You are very talented Josh. As I was reading that I could see that kid in the wheel chair and I could see him shagging balls with you.
I wish you all the best this coming season. I have enjoyed your posts and looked forward to the next addition this summer. Your the type of young man that makes this game so special. Your the type of young man that makes this country what it is and what is should be. Good luck Josh.
I wish you all the best this coming season. I have enjoyed your posts and looked forward to the next addition this summer. Your the type of young man that makes this game so special. Your the type of young man that makes this country what it is and what is should be. Good luck Josh.
quote:I wish you all the best this coming season. I have enjoyed your posts and looked forward to the next addition this summer. Your the type of young man that makes this game so special. Your the type of young man that makes this country what it is and what is should be. Good luck Josh.
One is never taller than when he bends over to help another human being.
I pray that next years team has the same compassion and understanding for this young man. JH your grace and dignity will be returned to you in this life and in the hereafter. God bless you and good luck. Remain true to yourself and you will always be a success.
I pray that next years team has the same compassion and understanding for this young man. JH your grace and dignity will be returned to you in this life and in the hereafter. God bless you and good luck. Remain true to yourself and you will always be a success.