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28 special member
What are you apologizing for? What did you say that was so horrible? "you gave him a meatball and he drove it" . Devastating words. I am sure the kid will need a psychologist and you will be sued for verbal abuse. From what I read the kid is a jerk. Do not cower to these whiners and complainers that everytime you say something that is not flattering about a player you are hurting them. He said *&^%^& you coach from the mound? I coached for 25 years and I have to tell you that I can not imagine what I would have done. I never ever remotely had anything come close to what you experienced. Your restraint has to be admired.
What are you apologizing for? What did you say that was so horrible? "you gave him a meatball and he drove it" . Devastating words. I am sure the kid will need a psychologist and you will be sued for verbal abuse. From what I read the kid is a jerk. Do not cower to these whiners and complainers that everytime you say something that is not flattering about a player you are hurting them. He said *&^%^& you coach from the mound? I coached for 25 years and I have to tell you that I can not imagine what I would have done. I never ever remotely had anything come close to what you experienced. Your restraint has to be admired.
I've read the whole thread 2 times...Sounds like this kid has an impulse control problem, or needs an anger management class
Coach, you did the right thing, IMO...Get the "headcase" out of there before it affects the whole team. The coach should set the standard, period.
We had a similar situation this year with a "cocky" player getting away with throwing stuff, strutting around when he made an error (30+ for the season, which cost the team 11 runs), cussing at the Coach,etc...The team has lost respect for this coach & the kid...Now the talk amongst the players is they are tired of coach "kissing ***" with the "headcase".
Coach, you did the right thing, IMO...Get the "headcase" out of there before it affects the whole team. The coach should set the standard, period.
We had a similar situation this year with a "cocky" player getting away with throwing stuff, strutting around when he made an error (30+ for the season, which cost the team 11 runs), cussing at the Coach,etc...The team has lost respect for this coach & the kid...Now the talk amongst the players is they are tired of coach "kissing ***" with the "headcase".
Coach 28, I felt there was more to the story than first stated. Your first post did say he looked at you in the dugout which is different
from the foul line. Maybe no one else heard your "meatball" comment from the foul line. Look, don't beat youself up too hard on this we all have said things in the heat of battle we wish we could have reached out and brought back immediately after we said it-I plead guilty, but what you said did not deserve the response from the player. Things were probably building up from what I read, and this kid probably has been coddled throughout his career and never been held responsible for his actions--it's too bad we are so PC nowadays
that we lose sight of the big picture.
As far as giving kids chances, I'm a firm believer there is good in every boy and am willing to work with them as much as reason allows,
but there has to be a limit. Knowing where that limit is is what differenciates the good coaches from the not so good.
Good luck.
from the foul line. Maybe no one else heard your "meatball" comment from the foul line. Look, don't beat youself up too hard on this we all have said things in the heat of battle we wish we could have reached out and brought back immediately after we said it-I plead guilty, but what you said did not deserve the response from the player. Things were probably building up from what I read, and this kid probably has been coddled throughout his career and never been held responsible for his actions--it's too bad we are so PC nowadays
that we lose sight of the big picture.
As far as giving kids chances, I'm a firm believer there is good in every boy and am willing to work with them as much as reason allows,
but there has to be a limit. Knowing where that limit is is what differenciates the good coaches from the not so good.
Good luck.
You dont have to be a first year coach to make mistakes 28special we all do. I make mistakes all the time. The measure of a man is not the mistake but the ability to admit it when you do and learn from it as well. What you did was make a comment in the heat of a game and you probaly were feeling frustrated by this kids prior actions. Its hard to deal with when you see a talented player that is his own worse enemy. You did the only thing you could do by kicking him off the team. If you allow him to stay once he has openly disrespected you in that way you will have no respect from your other players or controll. Good luck in the future.
28special,
I am not sure you have anything to apologize for, but your second post shows me you are the type of coach who is probably not some over bearing hard a#!. You did the right thing and if you made a mistake it was not getting rid of this player sooner. Chalk it up to being a first year High School coach and move on.
I am not sure you have anything to apologize for, but your second post shows me you are the type of coach who is probably not some over bearing hard a#!. You did the right thing and if you made a mistake it was not getting rid of this player sooner. Chalk it up to being a first year High School coach and move on.
bballforlife
I am glad to see that somebody is thinking along the same lines. The coach has nothing to aplogize for and the player has everything to apologize for. As far as the player goes you do not get that way overnight. People especially young people will do what you let them get away with. Get rid of him.
I am glad to see that somebody is thinking along the same lines. The coach has nothing to aplogize for and the player has everything to apologize for. As far as the player goes you do not get that way overnight. People especially young people will do what you let them get away with. Get rid of him.
Ok, so now we know the "rest of the story"...and while I now have changed my opinion and feel this youngman deserved disiplinary sanctions I would like to pose another question....based on what you have related, in regards to his behavior, this child needs some help....do you feel your responsibility towards him ended by removing him from the team or, as a coach, will you take the issue of his outbursts and blatant anger control problems another step further...by either seeking out the parents...speaking to the Guidance Dept or making his return to the team conditional upon receiving some sort of expert help...what you have described is a kid who is in definite need of counseling and if he does not receive it what kind of an adult will he become...a wife abuser or worse yet a child abuser....does your responsibility to him end now that he has been removed from the team...being involved with kids is not an easy task...you can close the door and keep it shut or you can close it and open another....just food for thought
I second what catchermom03 stated. Sounds like this kid really needs some help. Coach, although that is not necessarily his job responsibility, just may be the one that can initiate or contribute to this help, if the kid and parents will allow it.
I too agree with catchermom03....
discipline without correction and guidance will not help this boy in the long run...
I think everyone can be reached if gotten to early enough...
discipline without correction and guidance will not help this boy in the long run...
I think everyone can be reached if gotten to early enough...
Where are the parents in this?
Where are the school officials?
If the boy, as many you seem to have determined,
needs counseling etc, where are those who should be there?
Why does it all fall on the coach ?? He threw the boy off the team-- shouldn't that be enough to wake up the truly responsible individuals !!!
Again we swerve from the parents responsibilies--aren't parents responsible for their own kids anymore ?
Where are the school officials?
If the boy, as many you seem to have determined,
needs counseling etc, where are those who should be there?
Why does it all fall on the coach ?? He threw the boy off the team-- shouldn't that be enough to wake up the truly responsible individuals !!!
Again we swerve from the parents responsibilies--aren't parents responsible for their own kids anymore ?
TR,
Sorry I have to disagree with you on this...this child has obvious deep rooted anger problems and they did not magically appear...something in his life has gone awry and by throwing someone off a team and walking away does not solve the problem....perhaps this is a single parent home...perhaps the father displays no interest in the boy...there are many scenarios that are a possibility BUT something is wrong...children are not born angry...what a perfect opportunity for this coach or any coach to become a positive male roll model in his life...a mentor....anyone involved in the lives of any child needs to be cognizant of the fact that by coaching it is not all about the game but is also about what goes on in the lives of these kids....if he showed up bruised and battered would you turn your back...just because this is a psychological bruise/battering it does not merit any less of an interested adult becoming involved and reaching out a helping hand...simply throwing him off the team and walking away is not the answer
Sorry I have to disagree with you on this...this child has obvious deep rooted anger problems and they did not magically appear...something in his life has gone awry and by throwing someone off a team and walking away does not solve the problem....perhaps this is a single parent home...perhaps the father displays no interest in the boy...there are many scenarios that are a possibility BUT something is wrong...children are not born angry...what a perfect opportunity for this coach or any coach to become a positive male roll model in his life...a mentor....anyone involved in the lives of any child needs to be cognizant of the fact that by coaching it is not all about the game but is also about what goes on in the lives of these kids....if he showed up bruised and battered would you turn your back...just because this is a psychological bruise/battering it does not merit any less of an interested adult becoming involved and reaching out a helping hand...simply throwing him off the team and walking away is not the answer
Go ahead TR, throw him away.
Lamber
Who said throw him away---I asked where were the parents and the school administration in this !!!!
If he has an anger problem,as you all want to suggest ,it should manifest itself in other locations as well as on the ball field--why is it the coaches fault alone ?
cathersmom03
You are free to disagre-- but I ask you again where are the others who should be in this--
Incidently folks ,coaches arent here to save the world though some seem to think they are--coaches do not replace parents, one or two, nor the school administration which should have picked up on this along time ago--if in fact the kid has the problem many of you think he has
I am sure the school is aware he is off the team !!!!
PS to LAMBER--I just love your attitude--I keep forgetting that I want to return in the next world as LAMBER so I know all and see all and am never wrong
Who said throw him away---I asked where were the parents and the school administration in this !!!!
If he has an anger problem,as you all want to suggest ,it should manifest itself in other locations as well as on the ball field--why is it the coaches fault alone ?
cathersmom03
You are free to disagre-- but I ask you again where are the others who should be in this--
Incidently folks ,coaches arent here to save the world though some seem to think they are--coaches do not replace parents, one or two, nor the school administration which should have picked up on this along time ago--if in fact the kid has the problem many of you think he has
I am sure the school is aware he is off the team !!!!
PS to LAMBER--I just love your attitude--I keep forgetting that I want to return in the next world as LAMBER so I know all and see all and am never wrong
quote:
Originally posted by TRhit:
...He threw the boy off the team....Shouldn't that be enough....
TRhit...I gotta say I am right with you on this one. Coaches give players like this many chances, but once they boot the offender, all the whining liberals ask for another chance for the dear soul. I thought the premise of liberalism was to treat everyone equally? Is it fair to the other 17 kids on the team to continue to put up with this stuff? End of my rant.
If the youngster has, as you say, deep rooted anger issues...then eliminating another source of anger might help alleviate the situation. Baseball is a frustrating game, and frustration leads to anger the last time I checked. I suppose the way to deal with malcontents is to get them involved in "activities" so someone else can deal with their behavior. Whoa!
If the youngster has, as you say, deep rooted anger issues...then eliminating another source of anger might help alleviate the situation. Baseball is a frustrating game, and frustration leads to anger the last time I checked. I suppose the way to deal with malcontents is to get them involved in "activities" so someone else can deal with their behavior. Whoa!
Larry the Leaper,
Only liberals have son's that have anger management problems???????
Stay on point please.
Treating everyone equally on a team is a formula for failure. Ask Jimmy Johnson (Dallas Cowboys) his feeling about treating everyone equal.
And, eliminating a source of anger will never help the kid. How do you learn to deal with it if you never face it? The kid needs to get angry to learn. Sports is a whole lot better place to learn this than elsewhere.
Only liberals have son's that have anger management problems???????
Stay on point please.
Treating everyone equally on a team is a formula for failure. Ask Jimmy Johnson (Dallas Cowboys) his feeling about treating everyone equal.
And, eliminating a source of anger will never help the kid. How do you learn to deal with it if you never face it? The kid needs to get angry to learn. Sports is a whole lot better place to learn this than elsewhere.
The coach did the only thing that he could have done or should have done and that is kick him off the team. I stand by my earlier post that the comment the coach made was not appropriate at the time. The kid is battling on the hill and he gave up a bomb. What he needs to hear is some positive feedback if anything from the dugout or nothing at all. If you want to jump him about his location do it in the dugout after he has been pulled out or after he gets out of the inning. That in no way excuses his behavior. Thats just my opinion.
Ok back on my soapbox...
While much is written here on this website about meddlesome interferring parents their is another breed of parent out there...we have all seen them...the ones who drop Johnny off at LL and are never seen...not at practice...not at games etc...they are self absorbed, self centered and down right selfish people and their kids do not grow up because of them but, instead, in spite of them...thnk these parents recognize a problem with their child...the usual response is "not my son"...they are literally clueless when it comes to what is affecting the growth and development of their kids...
Now the school....how many kids get passed on, grade to grade, who can not read...teachers are sometimes swamped with 30 kids in a class and if they are not addressing educational issues how can you expect them to address emotional ones as well...
Now the coach...he sees these kids day after day for app 2-3 hours...usually has about 20 kids on a team (roughly give or take a few)...this boy has exhibited out of control problems...throwing things, kicking things, yelling at teamates and cursing at the coach...he did deserve to be removed from the team but does the coaches responsibility to the child end when he exits the dugout...as I stated, approach the parents....go to guidance...but get the kid some help before he ends up being another statistic and his name is on the front page of the local paper( and it won't be for his BB prowess)...there remains in some peoples lives a conviction that if you take on a responsibility you must see it through, you have to take the good with the bad...I remember one mother saying to me while I was coaching "you will never know how much you have impacted my daughters life as well as all these other girls" and it is something I hold near and dear...if that is Liberalism then may I be as liberal as I can be till the day I leave this world...my involvement would not cease at the gate to the dugout....and now I am off to the MAAC playoffs
While much is written here on this website about meddlesome interferring parents their is another breed of parent out there...we have all seen them...the ones who drop Johnny off at LL and are never seen...not at practice...not at games etc...they are self absorbed, self centered and down right selfish people and their kids do not grow up because of them but, instead, in spite of them...thnk these parents recognize a problem with their child...the usual response is "not my son"...they are literally clueless when it comes to what is affecting the growth and development of their kids...
Now the school....how many kids get passed on, grade to grade, who can not read...teachers are sometimes swamped with 30 kids in a class and if they are not addressing educational issues how can you expect them to address emotional ones as well...
Now the coach...he sees these kids day after day for app 2-3 hours...usually has about 20 kids on a team (roughly give or take a few)...this boy has exhibited out of control problems...throwing things, kicking things, yelling at teamates and cursing at the coach...he did deserve to be removed from the team but does the coaches responsibility to the child end when he exits the dugout...as I stated, approach the parents....go to guidance...but get the kid some help before he ends up being another statistic and his name is on the front page of the local paper( and it won't be for his BB prowess)...there remains in some peoples lives a conviction that if you take on a responsibility you must see it through, you have to take the good with the bad...I remember one mother saying to me while I was coaching "you will never know how much you have impacted my daughters life as well as all these other girls" and it is something I hold near and dear...if that is Liberalism then may I be as liberal as I can be till the day I leave this world...my involvement would not cease at the gate to the dugout....and now I am off to the MAAC playoffs
As usual this debate will go on and on--with advocates on each side of the fence.
In my book, the kid was off base with the language regardless of what or how the coach spoke to him.
JMO
MOM --enjoy the MAAC conference tourney--I will be at Norwich once again today for the Atlantic 10 Tourney--great baseball in both events
In my book, the kid was off base with the language regardless of what or how the coach spoke to him.
JMO
MOM --enjoy the MAAC conference tourney--I will be at Norwich once again today for the Atlantic 10 Tourney--great baseball in both events
