Team Talking Points

I have had this problem with teams at LL ages, not as much as kids got older. I don't know that there are "talking points" so much as you just have to talk to the boys from your heart about how you have all made a commitment to each other, and leaving others mid-season to honor a NEW commitment (I am assuming it is new, because if it wasn't they should have told you about a conflicting commitment up front so as to allow you to plan around it) dishonors that commitment and all the hard work their coaches and teammates have put in.

 

But honestly, at the ages this most often occurs, it is a futile exercise.  The failure is usually the parents', not the kid's.  The kid wants to do both, and he is being given no guidance on why that isn't really possible, and could even be getting encouragement to go do a "family commitment" that is the conflict!  If you don't convince the parents first, your "talking points" to the players won't matter, no matter how persuasive.

 

It's sad how many parents have no clue what a team commitment means.  The good news is, usually this kind of problem goes away as kids get older, families have more experience with their son playing on different and better teams.  Good luck.

LOL...I think that they might be violating some kind of Boy Scout Honor......if they made a commitment to the team, while they ere in Boy Scouts, the scouts should expect them to honor their commitment...that or baseball is not priority, which does happen a lot at that age

Yes, it is a 7 and 8th grade team, so the kids are just a year or two removed from Little League Majors.  But it's somewhat surprising at how easily some kids, or families, appear to make a decision to miss a game or practice.  But I think you are correct that much of that comes from the parents.  How do you change their view?

 

LHD- I suppose scouting would teach you to honor your commitment to others.

I've seen many times on this site people say that kids need to be involved in multiple things, multiple sports.  Aren't conflicts like this a consequence of that thinking?  Why should other activities always get bumped by baseball?  I'm a baseball fan, don't get me wrong, but we can't have it both ways.  You didn't say what age the boys are, but I think when boys get older and decide to focus only on baseball it is fair to expect 100% participation.

In this era where kids want to do "everything," I can see this happening often. I tried to not have my son involved with multiple activities at the same time, where there were likely to be conflicts. Having consequences is one way to discourage this. If these boys are starters, they certainly shouldn't be for the next several games... Especially if they didn't let you know ahead of time.

MJ,

I know this doesn't help for immediate situation, but with our HS squads, we have a parent meeting as soon as squads are chosen (sometimes even before) and define our expectations with commitment and why it is necessary in a team environment.  We ask that any outside prior commitments are stated at that time so we can make decisions accordingly.  That usually takes care of it. 

 

For now, you will have to determine whether the absence of those two prevents you from fielding a team.  If so, you probably need to talk to those parents and players.  If not, I would use it as a teaching point with the whole team.  There are many ways to do that.  When the two return, you could give some of their playing time as reward to those who have shown commitment, regardless of ability differences (at least for a game or two). Explain to the team why commitment is important, etc.  But, at this age, do be sensitive to the fact that it may very well be a parent decision as others have stated.

Nothing beats communicating and stating the rules up front with parents signing off from the beginning, though.

 

Talking points?  Simple.  "So, what would we do if eight of you were going camping?"

 

Regarding juggling multiple activities, kids need to learn how to balance team commitment with other activities - learn the responsibilities  associated with being a part of a team, learn what their limitations are.  With proper planning and awareness, kids can participate in multiple sports and other activities over the course of a year without failing in regards to their commitments and responsibilities.  IMO, that is one of the things we, as coaches, help them learn.  Of course, most should come from parents, but we are part of the equation by stating and upholding the team rules they are to be held accountable to.

The kids are involved in a lot of activities.  But a distinction for me is whether the activity is more of an individual thing or a team thing such as baseball or band.  In my view perhaps not in every instance, but at least generally the player should attend the team activity.  To take a line from Ice Age, "that is what you do when you are part of a pack." You look out for the pack.  A major lesson in team sports is putting the interest of the team and your teammates ahead of your personal interests.

 

Both players have let me know ahead of time that they will miss Friday's game.  I said to each I think they should be with the team.  One starter missed a practice the day before a game earlier in the season and he did not play in the next game.  I suppose I will do something similar here if the boys don't change their plans. If their parents approach me about it I suppose my response will be which player that was at the last game should I put on the bench instead of your son?

Here's some Inspiration...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sc8Y6rq4jSo

 

Certainly being involved in multiple activities at this age is ok.  In my kid's case it actually noticably improved his athleticism.  Howerver, priorities must be set.  IMO priority 1 is you don't miss games.  Priority 2, is you don't miss team practices in which you are going over team situations -- i.e; bunt coverages.  Priority 3 is the individual training -- hitting, pitching, ect. which can be made up in a non-team environment.  You juggle the priority 3's.  Then it depends upon the team and how serious they are.  On an over rostered rec. team I would expect misses and encourage them so the other kids get more playing time.  On an "elite" trave team, I would expect zero misses.  Most will fall somewhere inbetween.  Good luck.     

At that age you have to expect that there are going to be situations like this.

 

Before the season set expectations and consequences - if you miss practice for any reason other than ______ you will _______ . If you miss a game you will _______.

 

That way when the issue comes up there are no problems, people already know the consequences.

And at this age, who's to say that Boy Scouts are not the priority? There is a reason that Scout's are organized in Packs.  It is no more an individual activity than baseball.

 

Having said that, there have to be consequences to missing any commitment and certainly playing time is the key way to engage a consequence in baseball.

 

In my mind, a youth coach has no right to suggest that his baseball team is more important than other commitments.  He/She can only set the rules and follow them.

 

I solved this problem in 14U by asking the players to turn in their uniforms before leaving. When the parents complained I explained I wasn't just exercising my mouth in the preseason meeting while discussing commitment.

For most Scout Troops dealing with absences due to athletics is pretty normal.  Our football guys are gone in the fall but are back after playoffs.  Most Troops camp each month, so if you miss one you catch the next. We have even had kids join the camp out late, after their baseball game on Friday night or roll in Saturday morning.

 

Big time high adventure trips like Philmont, Sea Base, Jamboree or Boundary Waters are different. They usually involve older guys and are really amazing experiences that I would hate to see a Scout miss.

 

This can be handled if the boys and parents really want to find a way.

Be upfront. Before the team is even picked. You miss a practice you don't play the next game. You miss another practice your off the team. The rules are the same for games. Then they can make a decision before someone else who wants to play doesn't get the opportunity because they took it.

I think it's great kids do many things. They have 9 months to do those things if they want to. Imagine the issues your going to deal with if you allow this stuff. They miss for scouts. Others are at practice wondering where they are. Some missed things to be at practice. Players starting that miss practice players sitting that don't. Other players start coming up with reasons to miss because other players miss. Pretty soon you have 7 guys at practice. Maybe you show up at a game with 7?

Part of coaching a team is teaching players life lessons. Part of being on a team is learning what team means. Your either all in or all out. Birthday parties? Family outings? The list goes on and on. If you can't be all in your all out.

The scouts can't wait till after the season? If not then go all in with the scouts. It's not a big deal. Make up your mind what's important to you. As a parent are you ready to watch your son play behind someone who wasn't even at practice? Are you ready to show up at a game with 7 players?

This is something that should be made clear before the uniforms are handed out.

Talking points? Hey guys thanks for coming out for the team. Before we get started let me explain to you what will be expected of you if you make this TEAM.

Guys, thanks for your comments. Both scouts missed the ball game in spite of my suggestion that they should reconsider their plans.  One went camping and one went to a dance.  Both ran some after yesterday's practice and neither will start today (the dancer seldom starts), and I am not sure either will get in the game.

 

In the future I will make a bigger deal about this in the initial parent meeting.