The balancing act

quote:

Originally posted by 2013 Parent:
Can anyone offer words of wisdom to help us help HIM be patient and stay confident and not worry about how many other kids have already committed . . . and if they aren't beating down your door by August it doesn't mean that a quality program isn't going to want you?

At this stage in my son's recruiting, I had no idea that July 1st was supposed to mean something and had never heard of the hsbbweb. It came and went without a phone call (from D1's) and we didn't lose a minute of sleep as a result.

Here, your angst is caused by knowing that 1) July 1st is supposed to mean something, and 2) other kids have committed. If you were unaware of either of those facts (like I was), then you wouldn't be nervous about anything right now.

Look, what other kids do does not affect your son. Be happy for them but keep your eye on the prize. Develop a plan and execute it. Nobody else's situation should have any impact on your plan.

It's hard to believe, but getting recruited is the easy part. Finding the right fit is more important than committing early although I'll concede, I am sure that would make everyone breath a sigh of relief.

2013 Parent,

You might consider handing him a list similar to the below of “future things” to look forward to worrying about:

1. At my college, will I like the campus?
2. At my college, are my classes going to be hard?
3. At my college, will l like getting up early for workouts every day?
4. My first mid-term exam is coming up, will I pass it?
5. Will I like my roommate?
6. Will I make the baseball team after fall cuts?
7. Will I play as a freshman? Sophomore?
8. How will I do in my first game?
9. What will I do the first time and all the other times the Coach yells at me?
10. If I can’t play baseball anymore (for several reasons), what on earth am I going to do?
11. Will my parents be upset if I don’t pick the college they like?
12. Will I get the chance to play baseball professionally?
13. If I am drafted, when will that be? High school, college junior or senior year? How much money will my signing bonus be?

And then hand him this statement:

Hundreds of thousands of student athletes have faced the question of “where will I go to school”, hundreds of thousands of student athletes were not given a chance to move on (after HS and college), and millions of student athletes lead very productive and happy lives – even after living through their High School years wondering when they would get a call or offer from a school!

It will all work out for the best, no matter what.

You might also consider PM'ing Floridafan, I am sure he has time to give you some advice.

Looking in a rearview mirror with 2 sons that did or do play D1 baseball...the dates of September 1 (Junior year) and July 1 (before senior year) were far, FAR less important than I thought they were at the time.

Enjoy the ride! What will be...will be.

Lots of good input here. Best of luck.

quote:

Originally posted by justbaseball:
Looking in a rearview mirror with 2 sons that did or do play D1 baseball...the dates of September 1 (Junior year) and July 1 (before senior year) were far, FAR less important than I thought they were at the time.

Can you expand on that justbaseball? Being a parent of an incoming junior it seems that those dates would help you decide whether there was genuine interest at the top D1 level, or whether you should lower your expectations. Do you agree?

Aleebaba,
My son received no phone calls on July 1st. He signed as a senior in December after having three D1 offers during Nov-Dec. of his senior year. Two of the three schools went to regionals and the one he chose went to the super regional.

There is no manual on this. It depends on his position etc and as hard as it may be to hear, on what other guys in front of him do. That's just a guess but based on our experience I can only assume my kid wasn't a first choice at the time or other positions and what happened with them took precedence but I know his future team is glad to have him.

If you feel so uptight, your son is bound to place too much importance on that date too. There are lot's of ways for it to happen.

Aleebaba - calisportsfan said it fairly accurately when he/she said, 'There is no manual on this.'

From our rearview mirror...

Although both sons ended up with multiple offers including to some of their 'dream schools,' neither son got any contact on or near September 1. Not by October 1 and probably not by November 1 either. At least none that weren't a response to their own letter/email writing.

Younger son made a commitment by July 1...making that date not very important. Older son got a number of calls (5 or 6?) on July 1 (2003...different times), but over half of them were never followed by a second call and we have no idea why since one offered a scholly right on the phone and another an official visit.

Bottom line, I just cannot connect the dots from 9/1 or 7/1 to what eventually transpired.

Sounds like you need words of wisdom and encouragment as well.
I agree with JBB, July 1 can be for most, very insignificant. I would bet that people will tell you that if they got calls on July 1 their player never ended up with that program. The coaches that son heard from were from those that he already knew and had relationships with.
Everyone's experience is different, there is no manual as calisportfan mentioned.

Sit back and relax and watch your son play, it is a long summer.

He (and you) are doing all the right things. Keep up the good work and hard work of researching schools, coaches and situations. Continue to reach out to new schools/coaches that fit your goals.

There is a lot of peer pressure this time of year to verbally commit to a program. It can take a very strong and mature young person to wait for the right situation, and follow up on ALL possibilities even colleges you know nothing about or never heard of. This site is full stories about recruits finding their "diamond in the rough" and college coaches/programs finding their recruit "diamond in the roughs".

Best of luck!

quote:

Can anyone offer words of wisdom to help us help HIM be patient and stay confident and not worry about how many other kids have already committed . . . and if they aren't beating down your door by August it doesn't mean that a quality program isn't going to want you?

Tell him over and over to be confident in his ability and control what he can control. It's not easy but it's simple. Accept the things you can not change and change the things you can.

Its easy to say don't worry about the dates, its harder to ignore it, especially for the parents.

In retrospec I think we/I spent too much time worrying about things that can't be controlled, you can only worry about yourself and take care of business. Congradulate the guy who gets what you thought you wanted and deserved and move on. If nothing happens there's always a JC fallback if playing is important to your son.

If nothing happens you need to be realistic and reaccess what needs to be worked on. If you find yourself saying he plays great defense, runs fast and hits average....he needs to work on hitting!

Work on your own game, don't worry about anyone else. This applies at all levels.

You guys are awesome.

Lots of great advice here, thanks! We're just trying to keep him from getting his hopes up - especially when the date really is not the end-all, be-all.

The best way we have found to break it down for him is: if you do get any calls on July 1 (or thereabouts) it's probably a good thing. But, if you don't get cany calls on July 1, it's not necessarily a bad thing.

On a somewhat related note, when a coach does call . . . if he leaves a message with a family member or on voice mail, is that considered the contact for the week?

Be in control of everything you can. Be prepared to adjust to what you can't control. Never fool yourself into thinking something that can be controlled is out of your control. Finally, 90% of what you worry about never happens. But nerves can get in the way of success.

quote:

Originally posted by CollegeParentNoMore:
If you find yourself saying he plays great defense, runs fast and hits average....he needs to work on hitting!

Good advice, of course, but another consideration may be if he is great at something then he should spend most of his time getting even greater at that. It may be the differentiator that makes the difference.

Whereas working on weaknesses may only lead to average results and still be invisible when it comes to the time where you want people to take notice. That only applies, of course, to instances where that weakness is not out and out terrible. You don't want to stand out by virtue of that weakness, but if its passable, you may find that working at what you are already great at could be your ticket to a program where they are looking for that greatness.

Of course, this does not only apply to baseball, ....

Just throwing out an alternative to consider.....