The cost of baseball part 3

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are you living your dream through your son?

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1. N/A

2. If there are multiple kids, do the others have interests that take the same time and resources as the baseball player? How do you pull that off? In our case, kind of. My daughter sings, and studies classical voice performance in college. This endeavor in some respects is more demanding than baseball is for my son. But it didn't require the same amount of my imvolvement, both time and financial.

3 If you could turn back the clock and use the knowledge you have from your past experiences, what would you have done different? (IMHO, "I'd do nothing different" is a cop-out as we all learn from our experiences) Oh, I would make some decisions differently, for sure. But I don't think I would change much of the big picture stuff.

Now the "soul searching" kickers.....as rz1 waits for the parental shields be engaged by some nono

4. Obviously we try to support our kids 110% regardless of what they do. However, does your passion for baseball make it easier to give the time and investment that you've made? There is no question in my mind that my love of baseball has made me "invest" more in my son's activity than if I didn't love the game. No question at all.

5. If Junior was a sokker prospect, or an aspiring actor/dancer, would you have been involved in his/her dream with the same dedication, followed it as closely, or invested as much money into it as you did baseball? I probably would not have. I would have supported him in those pursuits, but not having any background in them, I am certai I would not have been as active.

6. Would you be participating on a sokker and/or acting/dancing message boards? Probably not

7. In the end, to some degree, are you living your dream through your son? I don't think so. For one, I played golf in high school and college, not baseball. I enjoy the heck out of my son's baseball career, but I honestly don't think I am living through him.

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Originally posted by rz1:
This site is chocked full of "feel good" situations but we all know it's not like that all the time and soul searching is a part of all our lives.

Of the folks who have been involved with this sequence of threads a few questions have come to mind. Again, these are not intended to be "pointed" questions, rather informational to others who may follow our same path and have similar situations. Feel free to address any question

1. Do those with only one 1 child feel you could squeeze the same time, energy, and resources if there were multiple children that had an activity with the same passion? Or, was the "one-n-done" the only way it could have happened to the degree it has? N/A as I have two daughters 22 and 15 plus my 18 year old son

2. If there are multiple kids, do the others have interests that take the same time and resources as the baseball player? How do you pull that off? They (my two girls) have danced and cheered competitively for as long as my son has played baseball and these pursuits have taken equal if not more time and resources than the baseball has for sure

3 If you could turn back the clock and use the knowledge you have from your past experiences, what would you have done different? (IMHO, "I'd do nothing different" is a cop-out as we all learn from our experiences I would have done very little different other than to expose him to more National Level tournaments so as to get him more experience against the top players in the country as opposed to our area or region. This would have also had the effect of making him and his teammates realize that, while they were very good and usually the best team in the tournaments they participated in locally and regionally, there were still a lot of really talented players out there they weren't aware of and it would have caused them to maybe work all that much harder and not think they were already on the top of the heap

Now the "soul searching" kickers.....as rz1 waits for the parental shields be engaged by some

4. Obviously we try to support our kids 110% regardless of what they do. However, does your passion for baseball make it easier to give the time and investment that you've made? Absolutely but I wasn't a clarinet player or a golfer . . . I was a baseball guy. The stuff on TV was related to baseball games and baseball stuff, the items around the house were baseballs and bats and gloves, not instruments or music sheets or golf clubs or golf balls and we played catch outside and hit in the backyard when he wanted to do something "like dad" so, without pushing that on him or making my passion his passion, it happens through the normal course of life's interest - doesn't it? Think about that . . . yes, I loved baseball and my son loves baseball but it occurred not because I gave him 110% support because it was baseball but, rather, because it was pretty much what I did (and he wanted to be with daddy) 150% of the time.

5. If Junior was a sokker prospect, or an aspiring actor/dancer, would you have been involved in his/her dream with the same dedication, followed it as closely, and invested as much money into it as you did baseball? I think I addressed that in my answer above . . . we never owned a s****r ball or was there a net set up in the back yard nor do I even know the rules of s****r so I'm not sure what the chances would have been that he would have taken that up as an interest (same with acting, dancing, other sports in particular - although basketball hoops and balls also were available around our house - as he would have had to cultivate his interest in any of those outside of the home)

6. Would you be participating on a sokker or other message boards? Probably not as I don't know anything to any degree to debate or discuss frankly

7. In the end, to some degree, are you living your dream through your son? I played in high school, college and professionally so I had my own dreams realized so I have to honestly say NO but would add the caveat that I definitely want to see my son experience baseball at levels higher than I was able to which has already happened (played on a State Championship, received a D1 baseball scholarship to play in a big time Conference, hopefully will get to experience professional baseball at a much higher level than I did, etc.) but I wouldn't describe that as living my dream through my son as much as I would dreaming of more FOR my son . . .

quote:

Originally posted by rz1:
This site is chocked full of "feel good" situations but we all know it's not like that all the time and soul searching is a part of all our lives.

Of the folks who have been involved with this sequence of threads a few questions have come to mind. Again, these are not intended to be "pointed" questions, rather informational to others who may follow our same path and have similar situations. Feel free to address any question

1. Do those with only one 1 child feel you could squeeze the same time, energy, and resources if there were multiple children that had an activity with the same passion? Or, was the "one-n-done" the only way it could have happened to the degree it has?
great question. My son is my only child. I often thought about this. The anwer is proabably not. Although my wife rarely travels with us, I'm sure there would be pressure to spend some time with the other child,especially if they were close in age.


2. If there are multiple kids, do the others have interests that take the same time and resources as the baseball player? How do you pull that off?

3 If you could turn back the clock and use the knowledge you have from your past experiences, what would you have done different? (IMHO, "I'd do nothing different" is a cop-out as we all learn from our experiences)
Go to a showcase earlier. I listened to his coaches who said they weren't necessary. It was probably wrong.

Now the "soul searching" kickers.....as rz1 waits for the parental shields be engaged by some

4. Obviously we try to support our kids 110% regardless of what they do. However, does your passion for baseball make it easier to give the time and investment that you've made?
My passion for baseball started with my son's participation. Like Wayne, I played hoops in HS & college and always thought that was my sports passion. When son show talent in baseball, basketball never seemed as important again.

5. If Junior was a sokker prospect, or an aspiring actor/dancer, would you have been involved in his/her dream with the same dedication, followed it as closely, and invested as much money into it as you did baseball?
I think so. It's not the activity that attracts me to baseball. It's the fact that my son plays baseball. He played a little sokker when he was younger and I looked forward to those games also. Although I'm very happy he gravitated to BB.
6. Would you be participating on a sokker or other message boards?
Probably


7. In the end, to some degree, are you living your dream through your son?
Maybe we all are. The love we have for our kids makes us do some silly things sometimes. I think it is a natural parental reaction to be strongly emotional involved with anythings are kids do. When his grades are not so hot I get a rotten feeling in my stomach. I like to think I am living this baseball ride with him not through him.

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1. Do those with only one 1 child feel you could squeeze the same time, energy, and resources if there were multiple children that had an activity with the same passion? Or, was the "one-n-done" the only way it could have happened to the degree it has?

RESPONSE: I have two kids.

2. If there are multiple kids, do the others have interests that take the same time and resources as the baseball player? How do you pull that off?

RESPONSE: I went through softball just like baseball. I coached my daughter through her seventeen year old season of 18U. The next year I started a full time 13U team for my son. Having kids five years apart made it easier to be available for both of them. From ages 12 and 7 through 17 and 12 they were playing six sports between them. I was always at a field or gym.

3. If you could turn back the clock and use the knowledge you have from your past experiences, what would you have done different? (IMHO, "I'd do nothing different" is a cop-out as we all learn from our experiences)

RESPONSE: When my son was driving the ball when he was 5'4" I made the mistake of saying, "I can't wait to see how far you hit the ball after you grow." That statement screwed up his swing the year he grew.

4. Obviously we try to support our kids 110% regardless of what they do. However, does your passion for baseball make it easier to give the time and investment that you've made?

RESPONSE: I was just as involved coaching travel basketball with my son until he stopped playing. I enjoy coaching basketball more than baseball. I was also at all his travel s0ccer games. Real parental commitment was attending my daughter's track meets. The meets were three or four hours. She ran for a little over a minute.

5. If Junior was a sokker prospect, or an aspiring actor/dancer, would you have been involved in his/her dream with the same dedication, followed it as closely, and invested as much money into it as you did baseball?

RESPONSE: My son is a s0ccer prospect. He just doesn't care. I send him to a couple of summer goalie camps to help his skill level without playing summer select.

6. Would you be participating on a sokker or other message boards?

REPONSE: The only conversations I've had on s0ccer boards is in regards to mental toughness and parental behavior. I didn't play the game. I can't breakdown technique. I did basketball boards for a short time. Too much trash talking. I did softball boards.

7. In the end, to some degree, are you living your dream through your son?

RESPONSE: No. I already had a positive baseball experience through college.

quote:

Originally posted by rz1:
2. If there are multiple kids, do the others have interests that take the same time and resources as the baseball player? How do you pull that off? My daughter has had activities sports or otherwise but I don't think I've had the same passion about her activities as baseball. She's benefited from baseball however. She's enjoyed the traveling, the hotels, and the wining and dining that goes along with it. We've always allowed her to bring a friend so I think she has really enjoyed the vacation aspect of it. She also likes baseball so that is a plus.

3 If you could turn back the clock and use the knowledge you have from your past experiences, what would you have done different? I would have toned down my own competitive instincts and made it more about fun than winning at a young age. For some of the travel teams my son participated, I think we could have done a better job at finding playing time for some of the kids. Even though my son benefited from playing, it would not have hurt him or others to rotate with kids who were not playing as much. I was never the coach but my opinion probably would have mattered if I would have shared it.

4. Obviously we try to support our kids 110% regardless of what they do. However, does your passion for baseball make it easier to give the time and investment that you've made? Of course it does.

5. If Junior was a sokker prospect, or an aspiring actor/dancer, would you have been involved in his/her dream with the same dedication, followed it as closely, and invested as much money into it as you did baseball? Probably. It depends if my kid's passion also invoked my own. For example, I love music. If one of mine showed some passion for this area, it probably would be easy to go gun-ho into it. Same with acting or other arts. These conflicts or themes are apparent throughout history. It one goes back to biblical times, we hear tales of the prodigal son. If the son takes up the family business, it makes the old-man proud. If he chooses something that is foreign to his parents, they likely won't be as interested or supportive. Lou Gehrig's parents wanted him to be an Engineer. In the movie anyway, it looks like they ended up being proud anyways.

6. Would you be participating on a sokker or other message boards? Probably not. If my son wanted to be the next Francis Ford Coppola and was attending the UCLA film school in pursuit of that dream, I might be doing Internet research or participating in message boards to help him out. Again, movies/movie making is something that I am also interested in. I am an Engineer and if my son chose that I would be very happy. I would not be participating in the Purdue Boilermaker's message board however because I already know what being an Engineer is all about. Context matters.

7. In the end, to some degree, are you living your dream through your son? Perhaps yes. I have a passion for the game and his is even stronger than mine. We view the future as a complete team effort and it seems quite natural to the both of us. We are always plotting and scheming for the next level. At the upper levels of the sport, the mental aspect of the game is very important. We talk about those things everyday. Where I draw the line on things is who gets the credit. He gets all of it for his success. Yes, I have facilitated things, but it is his hard work, talent, and dedication that has made ALL the difference. It has nothing to do with his old-man's wishes or dreams.

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Posted January 22, 2010 11:59 PM


2. If there are multiple kids, do the others have interests that take the same time and resources as the baseball player? How do you pull that off? Yes, all our children get the same time and resources, but not always at the same time. Money wise, it depends on what activity fee is due when and what needs bought for it. However, had it not been for a grandparent's constant help and a job that is accommodating, I don't think we could have done what we have for our children. There have been days at a time my husband have been ships passing in the night. (or morning)

3 If you could turn back the clock and use the knowledge you have from your past experiences, what would you have done different? (IMHO, "I'd do nothing different" is a cop-out as we all learn from our experiences) Changed high schools for one son and use PG.

4. Obviously we try to support our kids 110% regardless of what they do. However, does your passion for baseball make it easier to give the time and investment that you've made? Yes, in the sense I love to watch baseball, but I feel the same thrill (or not) when watching tennis or attending a band concert. Standing next to a son that is not a bball player, while he received his Eagle Scout award, was every bit as thrilling as seeing our son on a college program.

5. If Junior was a sokker prospect, or an aspiring actor/dancer, would you have been involved in his/her dream with the same dedication, followed it as closely, and invested as much money into it as you did baseball? We did and do. Right now we are putting a tremendous amount of time, energy and money into four different science projects.

6. Would you be participating on a sokker or other message boards? Maybe not. I was told by a friemd about this one. I haven't sought out any others.

7. In the end, to some degree, are you living your dream through your son?

quote:

1. Do those with only one 1 child feel you could squeeze the same time, energy, and resources if there were multiple children that had an activity with the same passion? Or, was the "one-n-done" the only way it could have happened to the degree it has?
My second son is a HS junior and having learned through the 'shotgun approach' experiences of getting the older one recruited, we have now learned that we can save a lot of money on things like travel teams and too many showcases, and that we need to visit all the schools he's interested in - well, at least the top 3. I coach his HS team, so I feel like I still spend a lot of time with him on the ballfield. My daughter is a 7th grader and interested in art and fashion. I would so love it if she would share MORE of her interests with me. Most of her questions and hopes/dreams are shared with mom, and that's okay! When we're in Cali this summer, I really hope to take her to a couple of art colleges so we can share in this process of figuring out how to help her with her future goals.


2. If there are multiple kids, do the others have interests that take the same time and resources as the baseball player? How do you pull that off?
Not yet, but if my daughter needed as much time and attention for her interests as the boys did/do, I would love every minute of it. It goes too fast to NOT be involved.

3 If you could turn back the clock and use the knowledge you have from your past experiences, what would you have done different? (IMHO, "I'd do nothing different" is a cop-out as we all learn from our experiences):
We would not have started the showcasing so early (so second son gets robbed of some showcasing and we save some $$). Keep my ears open to their other passions and interests and not make the college search all about baseball. Finally, I would have preferred NOT to coach them through high school - I feel like I have missed so much, even though I'm right there, because I need to be thinking about all the players, strategy, etc, and so it diffuses the simple enjoyment of just being there in a seat and watching in a relaxed and absorptive state of mind. Unfortunately we're in an area where there just aren't a lot of coaches, period, so I threw my hat into the ring and here we go again.

Now the "soul searching" kickers.....as rz1 waits for the parental shields be engaged by some

4. Obviously we try to support our kids 110% regardless of what they do. However, does your passion for baseball make it easier to give the time and investment that you've made? Definitely.

5. If Junior was a sokker prospect, or an aspiring actor/dancer, would you have been involved in his/her dream with the same dedication, followed it as closely, and invested as much money into it as you did baseball? College son has very recently revealed his interest in scriptwriting and film. I was a film major (UC-Santa Barbara) and even made some cash on a couple of scripts I worked on, pre-kids, in LA. I have not written a lick in about 18 years, though I've had a new screenplay fermenting in my head for the past four or five years. Son's oncoming interest in this area was awesome for me. We now spend more time chatting about Fellini and Welles and the Italian Neo-Realists than we do about baseball. He is now sending me his new pages as he writes them. I must say, he is a gifted writer. He has the knack for the idiosyncrasies of the screenplay format, and is just really enjoying this newfound passion. So am I! He has actually inspired me to start working again on the script I've been sitting on, and I am rediscovering the reasons why I spent ten years battling it out in LA as a writer before caving in to the financial needs of supporting a family!

6. Would you be participating on a sokker or other message boards?
No. This place is special. I find that I don't come here so much about baseball anymore, but just to keep up with the lives of my friends. I'm just not a big message board person.

7. In the end, to some degree, are you living your dream through your son?

quote:

1. Do those with only one 1 child feel you could squeeze the same time, energy, and resources if there were multiple children that had an activity with the same passion? Or, was the "one-n-done" the only way it could have happened to the degree it has?
We are a blended family. My husband and I got married when 2B was four. He has 2 children, one in college and the other playing HS football. I pay 100% for all of 2B's baseball expenses. He pays 100% for his children's expenses. If I had found the right partner the first time, or if my husband (2Bdad) had gotten custody of his children like he wanted, then who knows what would be different.

2. If there are multiple kids, do the others have interests that take the same time and resources as the baseball player? How do you pull that off? We would have figured it out.

3 If you could turn back the clock and use the knowledge you have from your past experiences, what would you have done different? (IMHO, "I'd do nothing different" is a cop-out as we all learn from our experiences) If I could turn back the clock, there are so many things I would change. Regarding his baseball, I wouldn't have let the drama get to me the way it did in years past. And probably I wouldn't have spent the money on one showcase. But the fact is that we can't, and the decisions I made, including the mistakes, got me and 2B to this place. And this place is pretty good.

Now the "soul searching" kickers.....as rz1 waits for the parental shields be engaged by some nono

4. Obviously we try to support our kids 110% regardless of what they do. However, does your passion for baseball make it easier to give the time and investment that you've made? Yes.

5. If Junior was a sokker prospect, or an aspiring actor/dancer, would you have been involved in his/her dream with the same dedication, followed it as closely, and invested as much money into it as you did baseball? Of course. Although I don't know that 2B had a choice. I was rolling a baseball back and forth with him as soon as he could sit up. Took him to his first Braves game when he was 2. Tom Glavine got the win; Chipper Jones hit a home run. Perfect! But he did have his chance at sokker, and basketball, and even archery, and chose baseball.

6. Would you be participating on a sokker or other message boards? I don't know! Maybe.

7. In the end, to some degree, are you living your dream through your son? That's a good question. I'll never be a baseball player! I love the game, and I'm just happy that he does too, and that he is pretty good at it. But I am so proud of him in so many other ways. His grades, his kindness, his sense of humor, the man he is becoming. If I could have chosen a child, it would have been him. So he is my dream come true.

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I'll never be a baseball player! I love the game, and I'm just happy that he does too, and that he is pretty good at it. But I am so proud of him in so many other ways. His grades, his kindness, his sense of humor, the man he is becoming. If I could have chosen a child, it would have been him. So he is my dream come true.

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College son has very recently revealed his interest in scriptwriting and film. I was a film major (UC-Santa Barbara) and even made some cash on a couple of scripts I worked on, pre-kids, in LA. I have not written a lick in about 18 years, though I've had a new screenplay fermenting in my head for the past four or five years. Son's oncoming interest in this area was awesome for me.

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I'd like to think that baseball was the seed that our family grew from

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1. Do those with only one 1 child feel you could squeeze the same time, energy, and resources if there were multiple children that had an activity with the same passion? Or, was the "one-n-done" the only way it could have happened to the degree it has?

He is our only child, born late in life (38) and after 15 years of marriage. I could not imagine having to juggle the time and resources if he had been twins.

2. If there are multiple kids, do the others have interests that take the same time and resources as the baseball player? How do you pull that off?

Even though I can't imagine doing it, I'm jealous of those of you with multiple kids and the chance to do it over and over....(well, just the good parts... )

3 If you could turn back the clock and use the knowledge you have from your past experiences, what would you have done different? (IMHO, "I'd do nothing different" is a cop-out as we all learn from our experiences)

I now know what is important (to us) and what to skip. But for the most part it has been a positive experience and I would do it again exactly the same way if I had to...

4. Obviously we try to support our kids 110% regardless of what they do. However, does your passion for baseball make it easier to give the time and investment that you've made?

Yes and no...Baseball is my favorite sport but I've learned to appreciate other sports that he's participated in over the years (s0ccer and basketball mostly). I've never been 'bored' watching him play....

5. If Junior was a sokker prospect, or an aspiring actor/dancer, would you have been involved in his/her dream with the same dedication, followed it as closely, and invested as much money into it as you did baseball?

No doubt...It's one and done for me...

6. Would you be participating on a sokker or other message boards?

Probably...

7. In the end, to some degree, are you living your dream through your son?