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So you want to talk about summer select teams. Here in the Northeast, winter workout/tryouts begin in January. The better organizations are vying for talent here on Long Island. Teams are promising kids (17 and 18 year-olds)opportunities to play in their organizations and offering them starting positions over loyal players. Many of these kids have reputations from years gone by.

But what happens when you get them on your team? Are they really as good as you thought they were? I guess that is a question for the coach in the organization. Many times the coach remembers that great day last summer that these new players had while playing against his team. Now, he has a new batter in the fourth hole who is not as consistent as last year’s player was, who some other team is now lucky to have.

It causes a lot of animosity and discontent among parents and players.

So then, the question is do you find that many summer select teams think that the grass is always greener and are not loyal to their own players?
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+The life's blood of an organization is it's reputation for producing "winners". contrary to what some people seem to be advocating, that's it's okay to be a "loser".

The difference berween the two is called "planning your work" and "working your plan".

An organization needs to plan ahead...in BB that means recruiting the best players. However noone can guarantee that a recruit will pan out to meet or exceed their potential.

I was very unemotional about reevaluating at the end of a season how the team did that my son played on, and analyzed how expectations were met on both sides of the scale.

I was reluctant to change my son from teams but did so if a change could help him meet more competitve goals, or provide a level of challenge that was more beneficial for his own experience.

Teams are always looking to improve, and so should parents with their players. It is the way of baseball, get use to it.
This is a common problem especially at younger ages. I say find a coach that focuses on teaching the game and is positive with the kids and be loyal to him. I have seen kids that switch teams every year. They seem to think that by getting on the best team they can find will somehow rub off of them. Then they get on that new team and find out that they were in a better situation before. As long as they are playing against quality competition and getting quality coaching why change? Beware of the coach that is always looking to (upgrade) his talent by going out and getting someone elses talent. Look for the coach that is looking to (upgrade) his talent by teaching and coaching the players that he has.
The kids know where they should play--it is the parents who are always looking for greener pastures--if there kid didnt play as much as they liked at program A they move to program B and then program C---some even do the same thing in HS-- and then when it doesn't work out it is the fault of the program or the HS

Perhaps !!! Just Perhaps!! the kid wasnt as talented as Daddy and Mommy thought---

My son played on an elite travel team where the players brought in the players-- there were no tryouts and no coaches intervention--coach knew the players would only bring in players that would fit into the scheme of things.

To this day I trust our players to recommend players to us-- players want to win--they don't play favorites.
Tr,
Glad you said it before I did. Big Grin

College coach told me that he doesn't like to see when a kid has been floating from team to team, school to school, shows no team committment, loyalty and "it's all about me".

Parents just don't realize what they are doing.
Last edited by TPM
WRONG! The grass is NOT always greener on the other side of the fence! ...unless you just happen to be one of those people that always goes to the WRONG side of the fence! Wink It's important that we take the time to listen...make good evaluations of our son and the different team options he has. If we were to do that, we would be able to help our sons make the BEST choice on the front end and not worry about what's happening on the other side of the fence later on. "Fit" on a summer team is just as important as "fit" at the college level. Of course the options aren't as numerous on the summer teams as they are in college so we may have to make a few "internal" adjustments.
Fungo
Last edited by Fungo
Pic,

I've never had reason to respond to any of your posts. I would like to say that I hope that you don't really believe what you've posted about loyalty. Also, I hope that you don't believe that high school coaches don't care about their players but instead are only concerned with wins and losses. If so, I'm sorry that you feel that way. Do I/we have to be concerned with wins? Sure, I'll be fired if I don't win. I love this game and it would rip me apart. However, it isn't the love of the game so much as the interaction with the young men playing the game. I think that most coaches I know care deeply about they young men in their charge. Again, I'm sorry you feel this way.
Last edited by CoachB25
I have skimmed most of the posts in theis thread. The 'concept' of the grass being greener has been one of the reasons of the erosion of marriage and families.....and then many other parts of American life.

Loyalty in summer baseball is a two way street. Players not only look for 'greener grass' to play on, and vow to be loyal to their new team(s), but then they leave their teams in a bind when their loyalties are really to themselves first (ie. showcase for self is more important than the team's games).

Many coaches (at all levels) truly care about their players. Many players truly put their team's needs ahead of their own. Some teams and some players are at the other end of the spectrum.

TR--I think you mistook one of PiC's words.....I believe he had a typo (hitting the 't' and 'r' keys together while typing the word 'that', and you assumed that he was referring to you with the resulting word 'trhat'.
Coach B - You have no need to defend being a high school coach. There are many caring, intelligent and giving coaches on this site that I read regularly for info for myself and my son.

My son is a senior that has played for our HS since 7th grade. I've posted this before and I'll say it again, the coaches are some of the greatest men my son has ever known. We feel blessed to have had them in our lives. They have taught my son baseball and many life lessons including loyalty and hard-work. Has my son ever gotten mad at one of them. I'm sure he has. Has he ever considered leaving - absolutely not. He won't even leave in the summer to play for other coaches/teams out of respect and loyalty to "his" program and coaches. Not that there is anything wrong with this concept if done for the "right" reasons.

Grateful - Some people do leave teams, marriages, jobs... for this very reason. You are absolutely correct. In our world today, it is often easier to go look for the greener grass than to work hard on whatever the challenge may be.

I personally pity those kids whose parents encourage them to look elsewhere rather than work, discuss or maybe proove themselves. This can be seen in kids changing schools for many reasons - academic, athletic, friends. Life's challenges will only continue.
My son has played for the same travel team since he was in eighth grade. The team had a core of players that started together when they were ten, and my son joined when his old team disbanded. The coaches have remained the same, and they have worked with the players to development them over the years.

The results of loyalty? Five of them (including my son Smile) signed early with D1 programs, and there should be several more in the spring. About four are being scouted for the draft.

Now, we're just in Michigan and we don't really know too much about this big baseball stuff, but I think the results have been pretty good.

What do you all think?
Last edited by usma82
To me ... I've always taught my son that every inning and every at bat has to be earned ... every day. You can never say you are good enough, or that your position on a team is 'safe'. You have to work harder than anyone else, everyday. So in that sense, I believe that loyalty is something that you have to earn ... both with your abilities and your personal character on and off the field. That's real life, not just in baseball, but in the business world as well. You can never assume your job is 'safe' ... you have to demonstrate your value to your team, employer, company, whatever, every day.

Yes, I do believe in loyalty, but I believe it has to be constantly earned through your actions, and how you apply yourself consistently and singularly to the common goals of your team ... that goes for both players and coaches. Ultimately you are loyal to the value system established by the coach and supported by the team.

With regards to kids that bounce around a lot ... some do it to maximize exposure, some to find an available starting position in the roster because they're 2nd string on another team, some to maximize at bats, innings, etc., ... and some because they just can't seem to find a place where they "fit in". There's all kinds of reasons ... some perfectly legit, some I couldn't support.

For my son, he plays on one primary club team and just the one HS team, and gets some extra innings on a couple other club teams when it doesn't conflict with his primary commitments. He always clearly communicates that one team alone is his primary commitment and the others he's just "filling in", and the primary club team is of his choosing. What's his criteria? A level-headed coach that teaches the game; good teammates that are capable on the field, fun to be with off the field; and a team that overall plays a hard competitive game of baseball win or lose. Visibility/Exposure? Not in the top five criteria ... if he's ultimately good enough and playing on a competitive team, he'll get whatever recognition he's earned.

High School wise, he's never considered going anywhere else, even though he probably could have had a shot at starting varsity as a sophomore somewhere else that wasn't as deep with quality seniors ... last year his HS had two very dominant senior pitchers, Phil Hughes (1st rnd Yankees) and Cole St. Clair (Rice), so his role was a 'support' role ... reliever, occasional 1B/DH. He was comfortable with that and loyal to his community and team ... he knew he had to pay his dues, work hard whether that was pitching a 3-inning save behind Phil Hughes or shagging the BP ball bucket as a 'grunt' sophomore, that his time would come when he'd be asked to step up to play a more pivotal role. Loyalty was a factor.
Last edited by pbonesteele
quote:
The reason most parents and players don't move around that much, even to improve their lot, is to avoid the "political" recriminations that are associated with "hurt feelings" that is even prevalent here as stated as the consequences for such an action.

But the truth is that any coach has the discretion to "cut" a player without any "hurt feelings" on his part. The fact that a player will opt to play for a team that has a better program, or plays in a more competitive league happens everyday...and it should. And so in doing, they should without regret or remorse.



It goes unsaid but, if you scoot just watch your back. JMO
PIC,
I am not one to say who's way of thinking is better than another, I am listening to what you say, and you have a few good points. Here are mine.
First of all, I am talking about loyalty in LL and HS. Yes, we have to prepare our kids for the competitive world of baseball. But when I signed my son up for t-ball, it was not because we thought someday he would be a baseball superstar, it was because he was a 5 year old boy who needed to expand some energy on the field and learn how to co-exist within a specific group. He also needed to be able to listen to others besides his mom and dad. After all, isn't that what group sports is all about?
My son went to his HS not because it had the best BB program, he went because they had a specific excelerated academic program. He also decided to go there because that is where his friends went to school. He was approached by two other HS along the way, with much better BB programs. They believed that he could get them to states, coaching was excellent, he really didn't care about that . But he had made a commitment to his coaches and friends. It was more important to him to enjoy and have fun, than to move around to a better team, better coach. And he sat in HS, just like everyone else sat, until he earned his spot through his commitment to the team and as a player. Because of this, he was allowed to play almost every game as a senior, if not on the mound than in the line up or first base, sometime center field.
In the last six summers before he graduated, he played for only two coaches. They were not the best teams in the leagues, but they gave him many opportunities and he was developing along the way not only as a fine pitcher, but as a team player as well. He speaks to those coaches regularly and when in town he is out to dinner with coaches and friends he has made over the years. This bond was very significant during his recruitment. They had known him for many years and were able to verify his development,not only as a player but as a person when asked. If parents think that this is not important in the recruiting process, think again. If you move around alot it usually means one of two things, you want to play for a more high profile team (which is ok if you don't team hop)or you do not get enough playing time. Your not happy. You just don't "fit" , therefore you just might not "fit" with their program either.
I don't think I am old school. I just think the "what have you done for me lately", doesn't work on the LL or HS level or for that matter, the college level either.
In regards to your post to CoachB25, I have seen many players play when not being the "best", but because of other things they bring to the team. Loyalty is usually one of them. I think this is the norm rather than the exception, from what I am reading.
Last edited by TPM
quote:
I have no illusions about how the system works...because I was praying the whole time that my son would be successful the other day when he came into the game in the 7th with men at 2nd and 3rd and got the side out.

I know if my son had not been successful he would have lost face, and his coaches and teammates would have lost confidence in him. As a result of his performance he bought himself some "capital" that he can spend now. In other words he can pitch in similar situation without having the additional pressure of him losing everything in one performance.




Are you for real?

If you truly believe the coach who recruited your son would give up on him if he had a bad outting (particularly this early in the season) then how could you let him play for that program?

If you didn't trust the coach your son would not be playing there. After all you have played at four high schools in four years according to earlier posts.

Here is some advice: Stop being so negative and enoy your sons college baseball career.
PIC,
I agree with Bob.
My son goes into a game to win not to save face, but to ensure the win for his TEAM. If he didn't accomplish getting the out, well then the blame goes to everyone. You get the drift.
I don't think anyone would lose confidence in him or dislike him. His team mates would have consoled him, put the blame on themselves if necessary. That is the relationship he has established with his friends. Part of the loyalty thing I was talking about.
Unless of course he only came to play with the attitude ,what can you do for ME today.

I read in another post where you felt that your son did worse his first outing than his coaches gave him credit for. You need to chill out, relax, enjoy. Don't worry about your son's performance, make sure he establishes himself as a person before a player.
Last edited by TPM
PIC,
Someday if my son ever makes it to the pros, I might tell him the story. What we always did was accent the positive, not the negative. We might tell him WHAT to do, not WHAT NOT to do.

For now he is in the learning stage, and one of the things he is learning as a pitcher is to take the situation and learn from it, not lose confidence. His coaches don't have the reputation they do because they beat up on you when you make a mistake. Yes, if you are acting like you don't want to be out there, and you get the nod, you will get your butt kicked.
Your thinking and my thinking are not on the same page, that's it in a nutshell.
You keep bringing up MLB, well guess what, our kids haven't arrived there as yet. Let's talk LL, HS and college first.
I am done but you can get in the last word.
Last edited by TPM
Loyalty, I believe in it. It is a trait that I feel very few people truly have. And those that do have it are respected and admired. My sons HS football team won 5 games in his four years. After his Soph year he made all area and 1st team A/C. Several coaches in the area contacted him through various means and "recruited him to come play for them. He was told how he would never win anything at his HS and he would be overlooked by colleges. After his Jr year he was again named all area and 1st team A/C. An assistant coach with a HS nearby stopped him outside a store and told him "We sure would like you to come play for us. You know you are never going to get anyone to notice you at your school". My sons response "South Granville is my school. I know that we are not very good but these guys are my teamates and my friends. They are counting on me. And my coach has been good to me and he cares about his players. I am not going to walk out on those guys they need me". Let me tell you, I told him it was his decision and I would support whatever he did. He looked me in the eye and said "Dad how can I walk out on my boys? How can I walk out on Coach? This is where I live and this is where Im going to play. I have never been more proud of him. They went 1-10 this year. He fought his butt off and played his heart out. And Senior night he walked off that field with his teamates and his coach. And I am darn proud of that. By the way he signed last week.
This is based on what I saw my son's high school team do last year.
When a player had an off day, other players stepped in and got the job done. They were a team.
Rarely did a player criticize another on the field. Once they put their uniforms on, they played as a team and left their differences aside.
If a pitcher had a tough inning or there were errors, someone would say,"That's okay, let's get some hits." They won State, with only two seniors and a freshman in centerfield(who made an awesome doubleplay and saved my kid's rear).
My son was told by a coach when he was 10 years old, you are not a pitcher until you've had a homerun hit off you.
Pitchers are going to have good outings and tough ones. That's baseball. The key is to maintain composure regardless of the situation. My son had many successes this past year, but one of the instances that I was most proud of him for was a situation where he had a tough time of it but maintained his cool on the mound.
I understand that it is about the W and that a player must earn their position.
But I know that when those boys won state nobody cared what their individual BA or ERA was. Everyone on that team had ear to ear smiles and each player on that team contributed to the teams success. Each and every player earned that ring. It was pure and inspiring.
I also think of the Marlins when they won the Series a couple of years ago. A true team effort, as was the Red Sox win this past year.
Hope I didn't come across too "polly-anna" because we've seen the negative, too. Just thought I'd share a positive experience we've had.
Very interesting discussion until the weeing match started.

Why does it have to be black and or white?

When we moved to Texas my son played for a team that was highly respected. The coach was determined to show the other kids that this Florida kid wasn't that good. Short version, he quit and he went to the Dallas Mustangs. It was awesome. 2 great years.

It is a lot easier for the kid who grew up in one place and was always the star and given opportunites and forgiven errors because the coaches, "knew what he could do", to be loyal and stay with one team.

Not everybody lived that way. We moved a lot.

My son has played on the Dallas Tigers, Dallas Mustangs, CF Renegades, and the Florida Bombers. 2 of those teams went to the Connie Mack WS. We always looked for the best competition possible.

I don't know about loyalty to travel teams, mine runs out when the season is over and then I look for the best situation for my son. If that makes me disloyal, oh well. I don't march to anyone's drummer but mine.

PiC,
quote:
TPM

It's obvious that no one wants to admit the truth of how things "really" work. But trying to put a "nice" face on it doesn't change the truth of the matter.



I don't really disagree with you, but you aren't the truth of anything. That is simply your point of view and how you chose to do your thing. Everyone has a different point of view and manner of accomplishing their goals.

To sit here and tell people that they are blind when their kids are playing at higher levels than yours is arrogant. Your messege gets lost in your ego again. Fungo and TPM's kids are doing quite well on their path. Thank you very much.

You sit and pontificate, act as if you know everything and that others are blind. Ridiulous, they just don't have your point of view. Get over it. State your opinion and shut up. You ain't going to convince anybody of anything with your antics. You are just letting your ego get in the way.

There are many ways to skin a cat.

As far as your saving face argument. You are just paranoid and it shows. I would choose for my son to be Atlee Hammaker than to be constantly worrying about what a bunch of others thought about my performance. All you can do is your best. If you do, your team mates will support you. If you have not felt that then I feel sorry for you. It takes a lot of bs for team mates to dislike someone that much.
quote:
Yes I agree I am not your truth, but I do know my own truth, which is what I try to offer, though clumsily sometimes.

Why do you have to re-offer it every time someone takes an opposing point of view. Be honest, isn't it really to force it down everyone's throat? We all know that you are trying to win an unwinable argument. That is where the weeing contst comes in mixed with subtle insults like; "What weeing contest? As a parent I have my own perspective which in no uncertain terms is bothersome to you. I am not ashamed of that reality, but apparently you are in admitting the conumdrum of dealing with the inequities that all of us have experienced in the treks we have all traveled." You have no idea what I or anybody else has experienced and you certainly not intuitive eneough to know how I felt about them. How arrogant! You call them inequities. I call it life. You are guilty of negative, or as I call it "stinkin' thinkin'." Your perspective is not bothersome to me. It is your refusal to accept another point of view that is bothersome.

quote:
Maybe you can't express it in terms that will reveal the pain you may have experienced but to do so is not weeing. It is a confession of ones humanity and overcoming the frailty of the human condition. Some people cannot cope as TRhit says, but he's the one that embibes, I don't drink or smoke.


I don't experience pain, I deal with life, adapt and overcome. The weeing part comes in when A. you don't accept that others do not think as you do and continue to repeat yourself. B. When you whine so much, but that is different weeing now isn't it. I can express my self just fine.

As far as you insinuating that because one drinks or smokes, that they are not as good as you? I like a scotch and a cigar once a week. My choice and I have no qualms. Just because you are retentive doesn't mean that I have to be.

quote:
In the h-llbent effort to achieve "the dream" so many of us close our eyes to the truth of its brutality. We do put our children through one da*mn tough life style. It has served its intended purpose of keeping him clean and devoid of any vices whatsoever.

That my friend is the proudest achievement for a parent in this day and age. That I will take credit for...and for me it's enough.

So if my son doesn't get there to the "Big Show", at least I know he has a character that any parent could be proud of.



Wah, wah, wah! You are so impressed with yourself that you act like you are the only truth. I don't and didn't close my eyes to anything. You however, have the largest pair or rose colored glasses that I have ever seen. So are you saying that you are the only one here who is raising you son right. What a wacko! I would suggest that most of the parents here have raised their kids right and with character. You are just angry that we all don't see it your way. I don't usually reply to your posts because I have never seen a poster who wants to have everybody do it the way that they do as much as you. You are so full of yourself that there is no room for another point of view.

I usually don't waste my time, but I am so tired of hearing about how it is done in Marin County. Get a grip.
WOW !!! From "my point of view", this is a thread that has been very enlightening as to how different people handle the paths for their children. Some excellent, intelligent points have been made (as evidenced by some big words used that I am unsure of the meaning Roll Eyes). The back and forth has been somewhat beneficial...although I do find a discouraging mix of ego and the proverbial "chip on the shoulder" attitude that tends to put everyone in a defensive posture. Frown
I have been somewhat spoiled in the past few years in that my son and I have been involved with the same "travel team" for the last 5 years. It does not get past me that our comfort level has been helped by him being a somewhat core player on one of the more successful teams in our region. One of the more interesting aspects of this tenure has been the observation of the parenting dynamics that take place within our team and watching the "boilerplate" characteristics of the youth baseball world all around us. Eek I now do lots of reflecting and "forecasting" as I "turn him loose" to his high school program. I observe that almost all of the posters here feel, as I do, that the path they have tread thus far is a comfortable one (I say "a comfortable" instead of "the correct" so as not to offend Razz). My concerns now turn to the continued guidance of my son, the parental dynamics within the program, and doing what is right for him and the program. I believe (translated "my opinion") that loyalty, trust, cooperation, positive attitude, good work ethic, and excellence in everything you do (both physically and mentally) are of upmost importance for both.
worm
Loyalty comes in many forms--I recall my son in the summer between his junior year getting an invite from a national team to play in a championship series in the midwest. The summer team he played for was a very good one and he was in his second summer with them as their starting centerfielder and top hitter. He asked me what he should do as, they , the summer team, had a huge tournament at the same time as the national team. I advised him that it was up to him- He turned down the invite and played with regular team-- now this is how I see the rewards of loyalty coming to the top-- they won the tournament coming out of the losers bracket with him going 8 for 11 in the final games with three HRs and he got the MVP.One of the biggest grins I have ever seen on his face as when he ripped the first pitch of the title game over the centerfield fence some 400 feet away, As he rounded first, I was standing down the RF line, he grinned from ear to ear and pulled the imaginary pistol from his imaginary hip holster and blew the "smoke" away.
I think he felt good about being where he was with "his guys"

Oh by the way the National Team also won their tournament

He also had a an offer from a prep school which offered him a two year scholarship to come for his senior year and a PG year . He also turned that down as he wanted to play with his HS team--as he said--"I have been with these guys since LL and Coach is counting on me"

I guess there are times that we as parents can look in the mirror and say we have done a pretty decent job with the kids

In the end he won as many accolades as a HS player could , played Division I baseball at the highest level and got his degree.

I guess you could say loyalty paid off for him.

DAD04

At the end of the day college coaches may not "care" but they sure do ask questions as to "why?"
Last edited by TRhit
quote:
Apparently you feel it is wrong to "believe" that you are right. I wonder whether your ambivalence has made you any more "popular" because you don't "offend".


You have missed the point again. It is okay to believe that you are right. I do it all the time. The obnoxious part is believing that your view is the only view and then condemning others for not believing the way that you do. Not everyone shares your own experiences. That is what helps form your opinions. I have different experiences, so different opinions. I believe strongly in what I believe in, however, I understand that others have to find their own path and have their own views. There seems to be no room for that with you. You are right and they are wrong, no compromise.

You post information on pitching or hitting that I do not agree with. You post it as if you are the authority. I try to just offer another perspective because half of what you spew, I disagree with. You are entitled to your opinion, so are others. This is a forum where everyone should have a voice and you try to stifle other voices at times. Admittedly, you are not the only one.
Quote:

"I was standing down the RF line, he grinned from ear to ear and pulled the imaginary pistol from his imaginary hip holster and blew the "smoke" away." Confused

TR, I'm kind of surprised that you would find this action acceptible and something to share with the rest of us when I get the impression from your posts that you are "old
school", as I am. I, for one would not be proud of my son for showing up the other team.
Nowhere in your description did you state there was any animosity toward the other team,
only that they asked him to play for them. Was there some underlying factor that caused
this particular expression?

As far as being loyal to a team, I see two different situations here.

1) Playing for a team with less talent than the others and being recruited by better
teams. Choosing to remain with the lesser teams because of loyalty-to be commended.
Obviously, your sons will be playing 100% of the time.

My question to you is this-Your son is a bench-sitter on the lesser team(not because he
is less talented, but could be a personality conflict with one of the coaches). Do you
want your son to stay the course out of loyalty or move to a team that has said they need
your son's ability and he will be a starter?

2) You did research to find out about a team, coaches, etc and once your son is on the
team nothing you were promised comes to fruition. For instance: pitching coach doesn't
show up for practices, head coach quits, any other variable that may change. Your son
now is not getting instruction/playing time as promised. Does your son stay out of
loyalty?

As BigHit stated nothing is black and white and each case is seperate.

There is a list somewhere of all the Division I college transfers this year-over 200
I believe. Tulane has Micah Owings(GA Tech) and Greg Dini(Miami). SCar. has Miami's
top reliever from last year.

Loyalty is to be commended, by all means, but not to the detriment of the player.

The grass is not always greener on the other side, but SOMETIMES it IS! Smile
I agree with DaddyBo...although the topic has gotten pretty polarized I do think it has been very beneficial to hear everyones views on loyalty, facing adversity, evaluting programs, etc.

I think if this hadn't been so polarized we would not have gotten such detailed responses from so many people. Sometimes it is tough to filter through the personal agendas but some of this info is great for us since our son is only in 7th grade. We get so insight on some of the potential tough issues ahead of us.

.....now back to your regularly scheduled pissing contest Big Grin
Last edited by KnuckleCurve
We need to understand the phrase "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” is a pure satirical statement. The grass is NOT always greener. That phrase was conjured up because it describes that human frailty we call greed that seems to cloud our better judgment. Now put rose-colored glasses on that greediness and it should be no surprise that parents are jockeying their son’s around trying to find that elusive baseball utopia. Finally, lets put all these parents into a public forum on the HSBBW and let them defend their actions. DUH!! Roll Eyes
Fungo

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