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The reality of college baseball

TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Hard to beleive in just a few short weeks, the college baseball season will be underway.

I wasn't quite prepared for the college baseball experience. My player did very well in HS, he did very well in first fall practice, and like many, ran into a brick wall his first few times out on the mound. In fact he had a few times he hit the brick wall but he got through it and so did we. Smile

That's where reality comes in. It was to say the least, a reality check for him as well. It's also a part of the maturing process, to figure out where you will fit in, to trust in yourself, your coaches and to work harder to be better at your own personal game than you have ever in your life.

There are many players who go off their first year and do very well, then second year they hit what some call the sophmore slump, don't worry all of this is common, just be prepared to help your player through the bad times as well as the good times, in the way he wants you to help, whether it be from suggestions or just to listen to him. Following his lead in this is good, they usually don't want sermons, or excuses,especially when they fail, they have to learn that this is a game of failure, to get better, there are ups and downs and trust me the experience happens to everyone, not just your player, and we as parents should realize this.

Another thing not discussed often, your son may get to school and find out that really nice guy coach is pretty tough, can be unbearable at times, the honeymoon is over quickly (like the first team meeting). Your player (and you) don't understand what happened to that nice guy, but do know that this is the way it is, the coaches job is to toughen up your son even if you think he doesn't need it. Even if he has done everything asked and better than most, it happens everyday at every program. Most coaches have reasons why they are so hard on some and not others. Your son might even think the coaches don't like him, that's common and come spring or next fall, he will have gotten to know and understand these guys and what is expected of him, as a team member and as an individual.

For us, there was no greater experience than college baseball. We survived the good and the bad times, it all worked out well for son and will for yours too. My only advice is no matter what happens sit back and let it happen, you have no control over it, and TRY to enjoy it, because those years go by soooo quickly. You'll look back and say, I spent too much time worrying, as we all do.

Best of luck to your sons (and you all as well). Enjoy!
Last edited {1}
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KC K Complex100+ posts
thanks for the pep talk!

As a parent of a college freshman pitcher, I am in the beginning of the ride you describe.

I am hoping the start is a good one but am prepared for whatever it is as I believe the growth of the pitcher and person will come in the adjustments as the season and years develop.

I never got too excited whether son had a great or "less than stellar" outing. I will try to keep that level head at these games also.

Now... move that winter calendar forward so we can begin!

Good Luck and best wishes to all!
ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
quote:
Originally posted by DG:
Thank you for the words of wisdom TPM. I am also a parent of a college freshman pitcher. We are thinking about going to my sons first few games, but worry it will put to much extra pressure on him. Do you have any suggestions regarding parents attending games other than keeping a low profile?

DG - the pressure your son is going to face is from the 22 year old senior who is licking his chops at facing a freshman. Pressure is not about who is sitting in the stands. Even the best pitchers in college baseball will give up runs sometimes. The best hitters will strikeout. Freshmen pitchers will typically have ERA's over 5.00 and often times much higher than that. Failure is not something to be afraid of.

Go to the games with no expectations. Go there hoping to see the team do well and the pride that your son is a college baseball player. If he gets in the game, relish the opportunity he has rather than fear what might go wrong. When he falls down, encourage him to get back up. I assure you with all my being, the ONLY way he can fail is if he loses his will/faith to get back up and compete. Encouragement is the greatest gift a parent can provide. You have earned the right to attend games without worrying how your presence might affect things. Let the chips fall where they may and get to as many games as possible.
P Prime91,000+ posts
quote:
Encouragement is the greatest gift a parent can provide.


Very nicely stated Cleve-Dad! A College player should be well beyond getting a case of "nerves" cuz Mom and Dad are watching! The low profile approach is good idea though (so I've been told!).

2011 1st College game for us and you bet I will be at as many as possible...... good luck to your boy!
ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
quote:
Originally posted by Prime9:
quote:
Encouragement is the greatest gift a parent can provide.


Very nicely stated Cleve-Dad! A College player should be well beyond getting a case of "nerves" cuz Mom and Dad are watching! The low profile approach is good idea though (so I've been told!).

2011 1st College game for us and you bet I will be at as many as possible...... good luck to your boy!

Prime9 - thank you!

Look, I am just like every other parent out there. I worry about stupid stuff and those who know me - a "tad" supersticious at times Big Grin Baseball will make you that way. The harder you try sometimes the worse results you get - ask Alex Rodriguez. For first time college parents, take the long-term view on things. If your kid comes out strong out of the gates, take it in stride and with humility. If he flounders at first, realize this is just part of the "long-term" process.

All of us tend to personalize things too much imho. Parents need to keep in mind that the kids on the other teams have scholarships and parents and grandparents who want to see them do good as well. Sometimes the failure of our sons should be credited to the talent and the experience of the other kid and not so much as a failure on them personally. Failure and learning how to deal with it is the most useful tool in developing a productive player down the road. Those who learn from it will overcome eventually.
W workinghard100+ posts
quote:
Sometimes the failure of our sons should be credited to the talent and the experience of the other kid and not so much as a failure on them personally.

I would agree 1000%, yet when I used this scenario below:

"If I have a Freshman son in college and he just gives up a bomb to a senior and it really gets my son down, I have no problem telling him the kid (or man) is three or four years older, more experienced and has done it before. And then I would tell him that is what your striving for, hard work and experience will take you to the same place. Learn from your mistake and move on."

I was told I was giving my son excuses and was even then asked this:
"Curious what other excuses you find acceptable?"

I believe I did exactly what was mentioned in the above quote along with providing my son the encouragement that
he so desperately needed at that time.

Go figure
Last edited by workinghard
C CaBB1,000+ posts
Catfish 342 hit the nail on the head as far as I'm concerned. Go support the entire team, even if your son is not playing. Part of the fun of college baseball (and any level really) is getting to know the parents on the team. All the team appreciates parents attending.

Realize as a parent we helped them in many ways to get where they are but in college all we can really do is be moral support. The rest is up to them, on and off the field. Relax and enjoy the ride,whether your son has a good game or not that day, at least they get the chance to play college ball.

And thanks TPM for starting a great topic. It's tough being a freshman parent as you tend to get on the job training for this role. So much to be learned here and shared by "experienced parents".
Last edited by CaBB
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
workinghard,
While what CD posted is correct, I didn't see where he told you that is what you should tell your son.

I mentioned in my post about experiencing failure and how our sons need to deal with it, they don't need to hear excuses, they need to figure it out themselves, they know that the 22 year old player is more experienced and bigger than him, they don't need us to tell them that.

Hope that you understand the difference.
W workinghard100+ posts
No, he didn't tell me to tell my son anything, as he shouldn't.

Yet, I did exactly as that quote, chalked it up to talent and experience as my son did, provided encouragement as was needed and told him to work harder.

Now if I'm understanding your comment, you are saying CD's quote is right, which I agree, but it's not ok for your son to hear. I would state to you TPM, if it is fact and that is the reality, it is not an excuse, it is a learning experience and an incentive to work harder.
Last edited by workinghard
itsinthegameitsinthegame5,000+ posts
Just to touch all the bases - so to speak - the reality of college baseball can also be very very ugly.

My eldest son's first experience in college baseball was a true reality test. A real life venture into the ugly side of college baseball - and one that exposes how completely full of **** the NCAA is.

My youngest son's experience has been the exact opposite - thank God. LOL
D DG100+ posts
quote:
Don't miss the games. Imagine missing a significant event. Imagine if he strikes out the first hitter he faces.


RJM, I understand what your saying since I missed the only complete game No Hitter he threw in high school. I guess that fed my superstition a bit.

His teams first three games are seven hours drive away, but very close close to his grandparents home. Sounds like a memorable family get together is in the making. Thank you all for the advice I was hoping to hear.
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
I was refering to the post he made here.

Reality is, most likely your son doesn't want to hear that. He knows that, why do we have to remind them?

This is about the game on the college level and how as a parent to prepare for that experience. Each of us has a different relationship with our players, but we knew enough to not offer advice unless asked.
I remember the time when son called and said he had doubts whether he belonged in the ACC, we didn't say, the kid you faced was older than you, or bigger, we said, you'll figure it out. And he did.
ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
quote:
Originally posted by workinghard:
quote:
Sometimes the failure of our sons should be credited to the talent and the experience of the other kid and not so much as a failure on them personally.

I would agree 1000%, yet when I used this scenario below:

"If I have a Freshman son in college and he just gives up a bomb to a senior and it really gets my son down, I have no problem telling him the kid (or man) is three or four years older, more experienced and has done it before. And then I would tell him that is what your striving for, hard work and experience will take you to the same place. Learn from your mistake and move on."

I was told I was giving my son excuses and was even then asked this:
"Curious what other excuses you find acceptable?"

I believe I did exactly what was mentioned in the above quote along with providing my son the encouragement that
he so desperately needed at that time.

Go figure

Go figure is right as you took the two threads out of context. The context here is different. In the other thread the issue was "age" alone.

You fail to see the contradiction in your point of view. When your son succeeds, it is his talent that must explain things. When he fails, it must be the other kids "experience." When your son strikes out the younger player (instead of giving up the bomb), do you rush over and point that out to him? Diminish the achievement because the other kid was "younger?" I doubt it. We are talking about two different kinds of encouragement here. As you said, your job is to make your son happy. Mine has always been to encourage him to find his own happiness. Teach him how to fish rather than merely giving him a fish. Go figure
MN-MomMN-MomHSBaseballWeb Owner
RJM,

I really like the simplicity of this advice:

quote:
And if he gets plugged, after the game you tell him, "Hang in there. You can do this."


Thinking back to my son's early college years and a few times when he didn't have his best outings on the mound, a very simple and brief "Hang in there. You can do this." seems very appropriate. Now let's talk about the homerun your teammate hit, or what a cool ballpark this is, or even which class you're enjoying most this semester. Smile

Julie
W workinghard100+ posts
TPM-

While I realize you have been through it and you speak from experience, I agree with most of what you say. Having said that, while my son asks for advice, something he may or may not want to hear, I will give him my honest opinion. I for one will be thrilled to death every day that he want's my input.
Whether it's twenty one as a college player or thirty five as a business man, I will give him exactly what I feel. If for example in baseball, I feel he threw a good pitch and the guy loses it over the center field fence, yet my son asks me what he did wrong, I will tell him nothing, the guy is just an experienced and talented good hitter and deposited a good pitch. Now if that's an excuse, so be it, and if my son is asking me for my opinion and or advice, great, I will cherish that till the day I die, regardless if others see it as planting excuses in his head. And I agree with you, when he doesn't want to hear it anymore, he will let me know. He will also take what I say and use what he feels will benefit him and make him better at whatever he does. I have enough confidence in him and what I tell him that the positives that are in there, he will find.

I will let you know in a few years if I totally ruined my child or not. Wink

Everyone else, sorry for the hijack. I'll stop!

And no CD, they are exactly the same. Either talent and experience is an excuse or it's not. On one hand you say it is ok to chalk it up, on the other hand it's an excuse. Your spin makes me dizzy!
CD, how about we agree to leave each others posts alone, this board gets absolutely nothing out of our disagreements. You just keep spreading your wealth of BASEBALL knowledge and I'm sure many folks will get what their searching for.

Good day!
Last edited by workinghard
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
I understand what you are saying and appreciate as a parent how you feel regarding helping your son to cope with reality.
But if your son really threw a good pitch and the CF loses it over the fence, was it really a good pitch, or was the guy really a better hitter than your son a pitcher?
How about, what did you think son?
I don't think you are understanding what I a trying to relate.

That's ok.
itsinthegameitsinthegame5,000+ posts
Just IMO.

The best role for a parent is to go to the games - root for the team - and then go home. Your sons and daughters will really appreciate the support.

But you have no place on the field - nor will you have anything to offer as it regards playing the game at that level.

You ARE NOT playing the game. In fact - you may never have even played the game - no less at that level.

So you will never really understand what is going through the players mind during those times.

If your athlete son or daughter wants to talk - you will know it. Otherwise - stop yapping about things you dont know.

Again - just IMO.
jemazjemaz1,000+ posts
itsinthegame:

There was a time when I would have disagreed with what you have said. Now, as the last of my three sons begins his senior season in high school before he heads off to play in college, and with great hindsight and some tough lessons, I agree completely. Well said.

A very notable post for No. 6000.
Last edited by jemaz
itsinthegameitsinthegame5,000+ posts
Jemaz,

Its just my opinion - and that is worth about 2 cents - maybe not even that.

But I cannot imagine telling my sons anything about the game they play - or the opponents they play against - because I havent done it - nor will I ever.

And if I did venture into that parental zone - I am sure both of my sons would be sure to remind me that I was not on the field with them at the time.

Seems pretty logical to me - so I just watch - and eat and drink (LOL) - and root for them and their teams.

If they want to talk - I talk. If not - I just go back to eating and drinking and rooting for them.

Very simple.

Wink
P Prime91,000+ posts
quote:
Seems pretty logical to me - so I just watch - and eat and drink (LOL) - and root for them and their teams.


This is good advice to not just those that haven't played the game, but in fact is even MORE true for those parents who have played and Coached their boys.

I've found that mine often will want to talk specifics the next day (not the day of) and I've learned how important to him, my listening and providing support can be!
Dad04Dad045,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by DG:
Thank you for the words of wisdom TPM. I am also a parent of a college freshman pitcher. We are thinking about going to my sons first few games, but worry it will put to much extra pressure on him. Do you have any suggestions regarding parents attending games other than keeping a low profile?


DG,

All players want to share their games (good & bad) with those they love. If you read between the lines of college baseball player interviews, they all love having their folks there. Go to games. No pressure, though. Good luck. Smile
W williekc100+ posts
Our Son will be a soph. this season. Last year we made eleven trips of 7 1/2 hours or more. Son never seemed anything but excited to see us. We enjoyed every second and added to our list of awesome memories of our favorite player. We met many other parents and saw a lot of the South. We had plans to make a 12th trip at the end of the season but decided to stay home at the last minute. Son had 3 HR. and 9 RBI's that weekend, more importantly his team swept one of the top teams in the league. I'm still kicking myself. I say why wouldn't you go if you can???
observer44observer441,000+ posts
.

Father, "I hope you don't mind that we came to the game."

Son "No, that was really great!"

Father,"Wow! It's nice to know that our support is so appreciated!"

Son, "Yea Dad, The guys just love it when we invite them to go to dinner with us after the game...they get a free dinner AND they save their meal money...come to every game you want!"

Now that's the kinda stuff that makes parents cry....

cry 44
.
P Panthers200110+ posts
Man you guys are making me want to race forward 3 years with my son a 2011 HS grad. Even though he isnt a college freshman pitching this year he will take the lead on his HS teams pitching staff. I always believe in what a young man can do even with things stacked against them, believe it or not for these young men they strive on upper competition whether it be good or bad. He is the lead pitcher as a junior having split between jv and varsity last year. Every outing up with the varsity my nerves would start thinking that this 15 year old soph wasnt prepared. Let me tell you they love the pressure whether we know it or not, he proved himself as the youngster on the staff and this year as the old man on the staff as a junior lol. Our 3 starting pitchers are 1 junior and 2 soph on varsity so dont believe they dont want the pressure they look foward to it. So i have learned over the past year is to enjoy the ride when it is good and be there when it gets rocky because they will prevail no matter whether they are a high school junior playing or college freshman,they wouldnt want to be doing anything else. So to that good luck to all of your sons in college they will strive to be the young men you and your wife raised,
strong. Play ball guys an play hard.
P plash3100+ posts
Hey playfair, I can definately relate to what you say about trying to attend as many of your son's games as possible. Last year during my sons Jr. year at a school in Nebraska I was able to make 31 outa 60 games. Being I'm from Philly that took some effort on my part but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Got to see some great baseball plus lots of places accross the country that up untill then I never knew existed. Saw from Georgia to Minnasota and from Indiana to Colorado. This past fall while attending a fall ball game in Iowa I overheard one of his teammates ask my son "How many games did your Dad make last year?" When Jr. said 31 the other player said "Wow my dad only lives 1 hour away and he only made 3." I can still see the smile on my proud sons face!
D DG100+ posts
quote:
Forget the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey instead...anonymous


TPM, I didn't mean to hijack your thread....I get it, be there for your kid and understand the journey. My son redshirted last year, but we still experienced several of the situations you described. It can be exhilarating or devastating, through it all its my job to stay calm and help him keep a posative focus.
rocketmomrocketmom100+ posts
DG, I would say "go and go early"! We attended our son's first and second appearances as a pitcher during their spring trip. First outing was great; it was very emotional seeing him out there after all the work we had all done to get him there! The second outing was not so good; but we were glad to have seen it after he was redshirted that season and didn't play again in college (quit next season due to shoulder trouble and wanting to concentrate on becoming a physician).

He has now graduated, has no interest in medicine, and is working on getting into pro ball-you never know how things will play out!
cheapseatscheapseats1,000+ posts
This is great advice in this thread....

I have a question for those of you who have college players...

I am a parent of a freshman pitcher and we are planning to attend my son's team's opening weekend three game series on the road against last years national champs. The games should be heavily attended by the home team since this is their first game back on the field since Omaha.

I have always enjoyed taking pictures of all the players during the games and my son has enjoyed seeing the pictures and sharing them with his teammates. Is it okay to take photos from down the first or third base line (behind the fence and as discreetly as possible) during the game or should I limit picture taking to before and after the games?

I took lots of pics in high school during games and it was never a problem but this is a whole new ball game...
Last edited by cheapseats
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Cheapseats,
Because we were not at games as often as many other parents, some dads into photography often took pics of son on the mound as well as team pictures and I did the same for a friend of mine.

It's great that you have thought of doing that, the players enjoy them as well.

Best of luck!
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