60° F: Arizonians shiver uncontrollably; people in Chicago are still
sunbathing.
50° F: Californians try to turn on the heat; people in Chicago plant gardens.
40° F: Italian sports cars won't start; people in Chicago drive with the
windows down.
32° F: Distilled water freezes; Lake Michigan water gets thicker.
20° F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats; people
in Chicago throw on a light jacket.
15° F: People in Chicago have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0° F: All the people in Phoenix die. Chicagoans close the windows.
10° below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico . The Girl Scouts in
Chicago are selling cookies door to door.
25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates ; people in Chicago get out their
winter coats.
40° below zero: Washington , DC runs out of hot air; people in Chicago let
the dogs sleep indoors.
100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans get
frustrated because they can't start 'DA car.'
460° below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin
scale); people in Chicago start saying, 'cold 'nuff for ya?'
500° below zero: Hell freezes over. The Cubs win the World Series.
"If everybody's thinking a like, somebody's not thinking." George Patton
