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Thoughts on Parents & Coaches

CoachB25CoachB25Honorary "Old TImer"
Doing some thinking and typing this up. Thought I'd share.

1. A program is the ideas of the Head Coach,Assistant Coaches, Parents, Community, and School District. It equally belongs to all. However, the Head Coach has the most invested to ensure that it is run properly. If not, he is fired.
2. Your child has to make that progress from childhood to adulthood. Assist the head coach in allowing that to happen for your son.
3. We have an overriding purpose larger than winning or losing in our program. It is the total package of what we help produce in your sons. Our program will be an extension of the classroom of life. Teaching baseball is not our sole objective. Winning is a by-product of what we teach, coach, and believe in.
4. No program can remain stagnant. It is the responsiblity of the Athletic Director to ensure that the head coach is implimenting postitive change. It is your responsibility, as a parent to ensure that the program is right for your son. If not, please remove your son from the program.
5. The Head Coach should deal with any problems at any level of his program. I will deal with any parent problems at any level.
6. Some of our player expectations:
a. Be positive.
b. Have a passion for for the game.
c. Want to play against the best.
d. Work to be the best on the team. Then, work to be the best in conference. Then, work to be the best in the area. Then, work to be the best in state. Then... No matter what, they need to WORK!
7. We know what we know but we know what we know. Some people know what they know but they don’t really know what they know. We know what we know but we know what we know. You know! In other words, we do have some rational for what we do and when we do it.
8. Love your child for who he is and not what he does. Baseball is a game.
9. We will expect for you to give to our program in late suppers, dirty uniforms etc. Eventually, we will expect for your sons to give back to the program and the great game of baseball.
10. Bud Wilkerson, former coach of the Oklahoma Sooners required his players to, “Play against the game,” We talk to the players about this! The game of baseball is complete with every formula for defeat. It is in the count, it is in the strategies of the game and it is in the fabric of human nature. We expect your son to overcome all of this. EXCELLENCE IS EXPECTED!
11. You don’t work long hard hours unless you love what you are doing. We love what we are doing and we will work long hard hours.
12. Our greatest strength is our opponent’s greatest weakness! WORK ETHIC!
a. REPETITION IS NO FUN BUT IT’S THE REASON WE HAVE WON.
b. TAKE ONE DAY OFF AND YOU KNOW IT. TAKE TWO DAYS OFF AND YOUR OPPONENT KNOWS IT. TAKE THREE DAYS OFF AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT.
c. IT’S NOT WHAT YOU TEACH, IT’S WHAT YOU EMPHASIZE. Emphasis will be placed on dedication, hard work and commitment.
13. You are what you do and practice! Your son will be expected to be a CHAMPION!
14. Questioning the coach will not change who the coach is but it could hurt your son’s loyalty to the coach and program. Disloyalty will not be tolerated. We know how to win and will do what we think is right. We/I do not believe in all of the “unwritten rules of the game.” I coach with intensity and guts. Sometimes this will work and sometimes it will backfire on us. However, I have the moxie to make those choices and will, career wise, live with them.
15. We will not tolerate having a “Star!” We are a team. We act and think like a team. "Stars" are great in Hollywood. Here they are simply bad actors.
16. Personally, I can tell you of every play that lost every game I have coached in my 20 years of coaching. I can give player names, situations and each team we lost to. I can also tell you the winning percentage of each team that I have coached against my teams. We pay that much attention to detail. We would ask that you pay the same attention to detail as a parent. Know your child.
17. If it comes down to you, your son or the program, that decision was made long ago.
18. We are not perfect. No one is. Please, when those moments of criticism arise, judge us on the "total package." I know this, if I had a son, I would want him around us! I make sure my daughter is around us all of the time.
19. Take the good from our program. We are proud of it! We are proud to be Knights! We are proud to represent our school and community. We are proud of our parents! We hope you share that same pride! Win or lose, support us with class!
20. Your son's high school career will last 4 years. However, those seasons will last in their minds and in their friendships for the rest of their lives. Lets both work to make those memories cherished ones.

Well, these are just a few thoughts. Some I borrowed from a piece I once read but don't remember where. Most are my thoughts. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND WHAT SHOULD I ADD?

"Failure depends upon people who say I can't."  - my dad's quote July 1st, 2021.  CoachB25 = Cannonball for other sites.

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CoachB25CoachB25Honorary "Old TImer"
quote:
Originally posted by ozzir:
More time studying. Less time writing manuals would be my recommendation.


Recommendation based on what? ozzir, I didn't comment at the time but you put down California as location. Then, you make a comment about a coach "from this area" and that area is St. Louis. Ok, rshard, teacherman etc. are just a few names that come to mind. Another metamorphosis? Richard, what I like best is that a Zebra can't change it's stripes. You will always have the need to show yourself. Now, I have some recommendations for that.
Last edited by CoachB25
R raiderbb100+ posts
coach - great stuff. i agree with it all 100%. if you have a good program - the program is more important than anybody there. i always tell our kids that its not about you and its not about me. our school won baseball games before any of us were here and they'll win after we all leave.
i couldnt add a thing to your list. if you wont to take a look at our player/parent contract its on our website under handouts on the menu.
http://www.leaguelineup.com/raiderbaseball
CoachB25CoachB25Honorary "Old TImer"
quote:
Originally posted by ozzir:
"The Program"

3rd Person for...

"The Coach"

Allows him to accept all the good and deflect all the bad.


Richard, find one example in any newspaper where I took any credit at all.

Now you're the person to talk - RSHARD, LAMBER, TEACHERMAN, OZZIR AND WHO KNOWS HOW MANY OTHER NAMES TO HIDE BEHIND. Geez, you have more personalities than Sybil! LOL! You are consistent. If the coach changes a kid then the coach is messing the kid up. If the coach doesn't intervene then he isn't qualified to coach. We could go on and on. I will say that investigating you has been interesting to say the least.
Last edited by CoachB25
R raiderbb100+ posts
i dont believe you will find a successful coach whose program stays successfull deflecting any blame during the bad times.matter of fact you'll find them giving credit to others and taking the blame themselves - and meaning it. the coach is responsible for the program while he is the coach. successful coaches put the program ahead of their resume and more cases than not thats why they are successful.also most successful coaches are organized and do have a manual for their program in some shape form or fashion.
O ozzir10+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by ozzir:
"The Program"

3rd Person for...

"The Coach"

Allows him to accept all the good and deflect all the bad.




As long as you ignore the comment or change it you will continue to miss the point. Of course, no ones' point has the value of Coach25's.

I see no mention of "credit" and no mention of "blame".
Last edited by ozzir
catamount36catamount36100+ posts
ozzir, you seem to have a personal problem with coachb25. you must be the parent of a former player that didn't get the amount of playing time YOU thought he deserved or an opposing coach that is jelous of his success. this is just an outside observation

coach great list. i love how some can condem a coach for the work he does for the great amount of money they are making.....about 10 cents an hour
Last edited by catamount36
d8d81,000+ posts
Our other topic was shut down and had started to drift to this topic....anyway,

Bee...No ill will was intended. I never said you were malicious. Just that you liked playing the devil's advocate. You mentioned saying things that other parents might want to say and know, but that they may not ask. You are correct in that, but I also wanted to tell some things that parents may not hear from coaches. I don't know if your son is playing at GT, but if he is, I am sure he will tell you that skills alone will not make you a successful college player. That is why college coaches ask those kinds of questions.

As for the different types of question asked hs coaches and summer coaches....my experience has been that most summer select teams are to show off talent and be seen. Therefore skill and talent level questions are asked of them. They get to see guys compete against each other that they do not see in the regular hs season. HS coaches also get the non-skill questions because it is more of a school structured enviroment. Much like it will be in college. Maybe it is because we are with these kids as much or more as their parents. Maybe it is because most of us played at that level. I don't know. Maybe we should get some college coaches on here and let them address this issue.

How do they handle their class work? What kind of kid are they on and off of the field? These are all type questions that I have been asked along with the typical skill questions.

On a side note....
I was scouting a game last year and happened to be sitting in the middle of several parents from one of the teams. We got to talking and the conversation turned to many of the topics that parents might want to ask or say to their own coach, but feared doing so for whatever reason. I on the other hand got to answer bluntly and say things without worrying about being pc. It was a very informative night for both sides.
Last edited by d8
TCB1TCB1500+ posts
Coach B...an excellent post and an excellent representation of what I'm sure makes your program a fine one...

Ozzir doesn't get it, does he? "Program" is not 3rd person for "Coach". It is the Coach giving up what he wants for himself and instead trying to build something that is greater than him, and that will succeed without him as long as a winning formula is followed.....
CoachB25CoachB25Honorary "Old TImer"
TCB1, thanks for understanding. Our Program isn't about me. It is about our school, community, players and Parents. However, a Program has to be defined. It's what you then build upon. It can't be an abstract thought in a coach's mind and then never appropriatly presented to the community, players, and parents. Our administration also values this sort of detail. All of our coaches are hired yearly. I am not guaranteed next year. I like it that way. Know this, number 17 on the list also applies to me. If it ever comes down to the good of myself over the program then that choice is also made. I will step down. One last comment on Program. A Program has to be, in my opinion, something that is a legacy. That is what I'm working for. Our facilites, reputation, etc. are to be left for future generations that put on that uniform. Our team advanced further this past year than our school has ever achieved. That is now a legacy that future teams can build upon regardless of whether I'm here or not.
Last edited by CoachB25
T THop100+ posts
TCB1 & Coach B25:

Well stated.

Ozzir doesn’t get it because he has never “walked a mile in your shoes” so to speak. 100 yards maybe. If he had, he would not be so quick to pigeon hole ALL coaches into the same category.

I think he gets more than he lets on but certainly not to the extent you (and many others here) have experienced on the 60/90 diamond.

THop
catamount36catamount36100+ posts
my dad in his country wisdom gave me a great analogy of coaching, when i told him some 20+ years ago i was going to become a coach.

he told me to remember

"Coaching is like driving the old manure wagon. as long as the road is smooth you will have no problem.... but as soon as the road gets bumpy. the slats will slid to the side and the manure will fly everywhere".

of course we all know that the road can be smooth now days and the manure will still fly.

the best part of coaching is working with the guys and watching them develop as a player and as young men. the longer i coach the less i worry about parents. i make decisions on what i think is best for the program (not coach in the 3rd person). if i was to base decisions on what is best for the coach (make the parents happy) i would play every player every game an equal amount. everyone would get to pitch, everyone would get to play short and everyone would hit clean-up sometime during the year.
Last edited by catamount36
W Will1,000+ posts
quote:
Personally, I can tell you of every play that lost every game I have coached in my 20 years of coaching. I can give player names, situations and each team we lost to.


Games are won and lost and yes there are games when your team may miss a cut off or make an error. but all due respect some days the other team just playys better than you, In other words you get beat.
CoachB25CoachB25Honorary "Old TImer"
Will, naturally you are right. However, I want to believe that we can win every game. I find it very hard to let games go that we have lost. I dream about them and often wake up in the middle of the night knowing what I should have done to get us a win. Many would argue that games are won on the field and a coach's contributions once that game starts are minimum. If I believe that, I need to retire. I'm a Type A personality and I just can't accept losing. I can always find a place in a game where I could have done more. When I made the comment on being able to list every player's name and game situation, I don't want you to think I blame the player. It is just the opposite. I blame me.
W Will1,000+ posts
coach B 25 states]I'm a Type A personality and I just can't accept losing. I can always find a place in a game where I could have done more. When I made the comment on being able to list every player's name and game situation, I don't want you to think I blame the player. It is just the opposite. I blame me.[/quote]

Coach

Lighten up on yourself. You can only do so much As far as blame dont worry dont need yourself to blame. some people do a good job without you doing it.
W whitey25Member
Was going through some things and came across Some information that I like to share my players and read to myself every once in awhile...A Poem...

When you reach your goal in the world or sports and you've worked the big game that day, just go to the mirror and look at yourself and see what the man has to say.

For it isn't your family or friends or the coaches whose Judgement upon you must pass. The fellow whose verdict doubts in your life is the one staring at you from the glass.

You may be lucky and draw the big game, thinking you are a wonderful guy; but the man in the glass says you're only a bum, if you can't look him straight in the eye.

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest, for he's with you clear to the end; and you have passed your most dangerous, difficult test, if the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool all of the world down the pathway of years, and get pats on the back as you pass; but your only reward will be remorse and regret, if you've cheated the man in the glass.

Tell players and parents, This life is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual life, you would have received further instructions on where to go and what to do!
C coachgibbyMember
I couldn't agree more. We have taken over a program that averaged 5 wins a year for the past ten years and last year made it to the quartefinals of state playoff- and all because of the same idease you have taken. It was hard at first because parents still thought they could control what happened in the program but if you put it to them in black and white it makes it alot easier on you and them.
Coach KnightCoach Knight500+ posts
Here it is, for all to enjoy:

THE VICTOR -by C.W. Longnecker

If you think you're beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don't
If you like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't

If you think you'll lose, you're lost
For out in the world, you'll find
Success begins with a fellow's will
It's all in the state of mind

If you think you're outclassed, you are
You've got to think high to rise
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You'll ever win the prize

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man
But in the end, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.
B BobbleheadDoll5,000+ posts
This is a great thread.
My son has been told year after year that for the 3-4 hrs the coach has him he belongs to the coach. 100% concentration and do exactly what the coach asks and instructs.
I learned years ago to stay out of the coaches business regardless of what I felt. I do not even allow my son to talk to me during a game or practice. He has come to me and complained about a coach trying to cahnge his mechanics and I tell him you know that you have to listen to the coach while you are playing for him so do what he says as long as it will not harm your arm.
Back in rookie ball there were a group of parents trying to get me to join with them to get rid of the coach. I was new to thus and they tried to suck me in my flattering my son and question why he was sitting at times. I caught on and told them I had no interest in getting rid of the volunteer coach. The next year they were successful and dumped the coach. They went from winning 90% to losing 90% of their games. My son paid a big price and was made a call up. The new coach was fired 1/2 way through the year and my son was called up permanently but the new coach was so affraid of the parents he was affraid to pitch him. They said they would not let their sons play if they allowed my son and 1 other player to play.
I remember a game when the team was getting mercied and they ran out of pitchers and the coach said all they had left was my son for the next inning. He went out and 3 up and 3 down. When I heard what they said I had to fight the feeling of yanking him off the bench. He stopped the bleedind for the 1 inning and the next pitcher who had to sit out 1 inning before re entry started the bleeding all over again. I never said a word and the next year all the good players returned and we had a great year.
Parents should support their kids but stay out of the coaches business.

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