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Senior year of HS is your last chance as a mom to have a direct influence on your son. At least we like to think we still have an influence! Do you wish you'd done something differently to prepare your son for college, like laundry, cooking, paying the bills, etc.?

One thing I wish I would have done for my son might sound silly, but became an issue when he left for college.
I wish we would have required him to wake himself up for school in HS, using his own alarm and his own back-up system. We all got up at the same time when he lived at home and I just banged on his door to wake him up (sometimes more than once!).

My son is not sleeping well in college and I think a big part of it is worrying about waking up on time. He wakes up several times through the night, thinking he's late for school or morning workouts. During the fall they reported at 5am for baseball conditioning, three days a week. He keeps waking up in the dark and thinking its 4:45am ... time to report to conditioning! This interrupted sleep is hard on him.

He has an alarm clock and a back-up alarm on his cell phone, but if he had been in the habit of waking himself up, things might have been smoother. We're letting him "sink or swim" and learn to adjust to this new responsibility, but I admit that we called him during finals week and became his back-up safety net! I didn't want him worrying about missing a final! He's got so much on his plate right now!
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mom - That is wonderful advice and actually what I did. My son got himself up his last couple years of HS and I will say has done an excellent job handling that in college. My HS junior daughter does it now and with the exception of one day this fall, when I realized she wasn't stirring around and had forgotten to set her alarm, has done a great job with the responsibility. It think by being responsible for that task, they also build a great deal of self esteem as well.... I guess like any other part of growing up they master.

My son took a winter session class where he had to drive back to campus this winter and had to get up really early to leave. I got up as well, but that was only because I wanted to spend that time with him in the morning... he never failed to get up on his own.

Good thoughts!
KC - There's another thread in the general forum similar to your thoughts. I had a funny story though and thought I'd share it here.

A friend of mine was telling me the other day about her niece who's in college. The niece works and lives in a house with some roommates. The niece's mom didn't understand why the young lady had no money. Mom sat down with her to look at her expenditures. Well, the girl went to Starbucks twice a day.... that's $10.00 bucks right off the top every day!

Then the girl asked for a black pea coat for Christmas. Her mom began thinking "she has a black pea coat" and sure enough.... went to her closet at home and there it was. Mom called her daughter and told her. The daughter replied "yeah, I know, but it's too dirty to wear anymore". Big Grin Can you believe that!! She actually didn't understand that you would take that coat to the cleaners... she was ready to just purchase another one! Her mom seriously felt as though she'd prepared this young lady for living in the real world. She told my friend "I guess I forgot to cover drycleaning". Big Grin
It's apropos that I read this today, as my high school junior son just overslept yesterday! He uses his cell phone as an alarm clock and his battery ran out during the night. I've told him he needs to use his alarm clock as a back-up and now maybe he'll believe me.

I've taken care of training him regarding laundry. When I headed off to college, I can't begin to count the number of pink items I ended up with because I washed whites with reds!
My next-door-neighbor has two children--both in their twenties. She gave me the most valuable advice---

Once day many years ago, I was complaining to my neighbor that I had an unusually large mound of laundry to fold and put away. What she then told me changed my life forever--She told me that when her sons each turned twelve, they were responsible for doing their own laundry.

I was incredulous that her boys could do such a thing and decided that just this once, I would keep up with the Joneses. (Their last name was Jones....) And so, on each of my children's twelveth birthday, I teach them how to operate the washing machine, how much detergent to use, how to sort, and most importantly, how to fold and PUT THEIR CLOTHES AWAY. Three down, one to go. I can't wait for September.

Sure, there have been relapses every once in a while, and every so often I will treat them to clean and folded clothes........But it sure was pleasant not having to teach a know-it-all-college-kid-to-be Laundry 101!
Last edited by play baseball
OK, with son #2 (and child #4) a freshman this year, I've got a few to pass along:

1. Acquaint them with their health insurance card and teach them how and when it's used. My son had one in his wallet but swore he had never seen it and had no idea what it was!
2. Teach them how to reconcile their bank account and the difference between that and "being pretty sure" about their balance
3. At the same time, teach them how knowing what your real bank balance is can be different from knowing what your bank account balance is online.
4. Make sure they put a listing for "ICE" (in case of emergency) in their cell phone. This should be a number that can be called if they ever require the services of police or rescue... probably a parent or other nearby relative or friend if your child is living farther away from home.
5. During senior year we started requiring our kids to start taking more responsibility for things like scheduling doctor's appointments, calling with questions about car insurance, scheduling car maintanence and repairs, etc.
6. Teach them what to do in case of auto emergencies - do they know how to handle themselves if they were to get in a car accident? Can they change a flat tire? Check the oil? We learned this was just as important for girls as it is for boys when our daughter called home one day to say she "thought" she had a flat tire, but she wasn't sure, because it was only flat on the bottom! Our other daughter became alarmed when she checked the oil in her car and realized it "only" came up an inch or so on the dip stick... she thought it needed to cover the whole stick to be full! Oh, and these are SMART girls!
7. Help them establish a system of organizing important paperwork that makes sense to them. Talk about what things are important to keep and for how long, and what things can be tossed.
8.Get them thinking about creating a portfolio of their classwork from the very beginning of freshman year. Any work they are particularily proud of or that they feel represents important milestones in their major WILL come in handy later... we learned this one the hard way when son #1 had to recreate an important project for a grad school application.

I'm sure there's more that we now do as a matter of course with our youngest, still at home, son that we don't even remember being an issue with the first few. The most important point being, the better prepared they are, the more relaxed you will be as you drive away from the dorm on drop-off day! You'll still be emotional, but you won't have to worry about the things you know you've prepared him for.

And one last senior year tip for all us moms... enjoy every moment and don't let anyone make you feel silly for crying! My family decided I should probably be medicated during #4's senior year, but after you've been through it a few times, you start realizing just how fast the time goes. Things will NEVER be the same... not that they won't be wonderful in their own way, they just won't be like they are now - so savor it in your own way!
quote:
KC - There's another thread in the general forum similar to your thoughts.


Ain't it funny? I started this thread and the general forum one appeared about an hour later! Not very original, but we'll all see good tips here, as well as over there with the more rowdy (and outspoken) group!

quote:
our daughter called home one day to say she "thought" she had a flat tire, but she wasn't sure, because it was only flat on the bottom!


Now that made me laugh!
My son's car has a light that tells him when any of his tires is low. It came on and he called home wondering what he should do. This boy just got A's in chemistry, calculus and engineering, but had to ask what to do about that light? Maybe....Check your tires?

I love all the tips from the moms. I have 2 more kids at home and will begin IMMEDIATELY better preparing them for college. I bet I'll still miss a few things!
Don't forget cooking & shopping lessons.

The flyers at the grocery store will tell them what's on special so they don't just grab the first thing they see.

Picking up your 'groceries' at the 7-11 can be expensive and unhealthy.

Have them cook alongside you, including safe food handling instructions as you go, like hand washing, counter cleaning, and that the Use By date is more than a whimsical suggestion.

I put together a basic cookbook for mine, though he still called a number of times while we cooked 'together' long distance, asking for 'live' instructions. And that was fun!

I'd prepare and freeze meals to take up when I visited. He got the idea, and re-used those freezer dishes, making more spaghetti sauce or chicken-and-whatever when he cooked and freezing the lefotvers.

If your son isn't motivated to cook, point out to him how impressed the ladies are with a man who knows his way around the kitchen. Wink
I already posted this at the start of the year but my son informed me that there is no need to sort clothes, it is a waste of time. His choice. Teach them to clean the lint trap on the dryer. My son insisted that he take real dishes to school. Roommates leave the dishes in the sink after using and told him they were his dishes so he could wash them. They are now in his room. His grandma asked him if he ate alot of top-roman. He replied, no, it dirties too many dishes. Now that was a classic. He also has figured out how to analyze the power bill since their latest one was over $400. There was a delivery charge and he said, mom they don't deliver power to my house do they?
KC,
Have your son go speak to the team doctor, may sound silly to do so, but if it is interrupting his sleep he needs to let someone know. Sooner or later it might take it's toll. It basically sounds like anxiety and they will help him with it. Sounds like me before I have to catch a plane, I can't sleep all night, afraid I will oversleep, yet I very rarely use an alarm clock.

My son has been to the team doctor for a variety of reasons (he rarely went when he was growing up). I think, to him (he would not admit it), team doctor is as close to a mom he's gonna get at school. Big Grin

Don't laugh, first day of class as freshman the coach called all of the kids (4 of them) to make sure they were up, too funny.

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