To date, we have instructed our son to take what we thought was the "high road" relative to recruiting. When coaches ask what other schools he is talking to, he has told them that our family has decided not to share information or offers from other schools. What is the standard? Is it appropriate to share this information basically to play one school against another? Just doesn't feel right to do that but I see it happening all around us. Any guidance is appreciated!
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The baseball community is a small world. Be honest. Coaches talk. They find out most everything. Being honest can speed up a counter offer. Do not bluff/lie.
In our area, the recruiters/coaches seem to be on friendly terms and I've been told they typically share info/thoughts on the better recruits throughout the recruiting process. This is what I have heard. If a player is nationally recruited, of course, this would not pertain to them.
If a coach asks what other schools are interested you should tell him. Withholding information like that cant help you and it CAN hurt you. It can be off-putting to the coach that is asking.
I know it's an awkward question, but they all ask it and I don't think it does you good to withhold information. As others have said, the coaching circle is small, so they're going to find out, if they don't know already. Better they hear it from you.
Be honest and know that schools you mention to other coaches, when they ask of course, could mean many things to a coach. For example, my son received a very strong offer from a D2 school and then let coaches know that his recruiting status had changed. Son very quickly received return calls/texts asking which school had offered. That got things moving quickly and other offers and invitations to visit the campus and head coach followed.
Prior to any offers, coaches also asked my son who he was "talking to." Son was honest and specifically indicated a couple of the schools and coaches by name and then finished with "and also a couple of others."
Above all else, be honest with the coaches. As others have said, most of these guys know each other and talk. Good Luck
Great feedback and perspective from all who have replied, thank you!
MidAtlanticDad posted:IMO, your son is taking the high road, and there are ways for him to do that without hurting himself too much. Something like... "I'm talking to other D1 programs, and I do have offers, but I don't think those other coaches would want me repeating our conversations.""Standard" these days is to answer the question directly and honestly (naming names). At this point, I think all coaches expect you to talk to other schools about what they've offered you. In some cases it's playing offers against each other. In other cases it's a negotiation, and the coach asking the questions needs to know what it's going to take to sign you.
I agree with MidAtlantic Dad. Your son is taking the high road with his response. The coach is asking the question because he wants to know if your son knows what he is doing, and what value he is bringing to the market. He also wants to know what schools he is competing against. Replying with the above doesn't put you at a disadvantage or give away too much information. My son typically responded with a similar answer and he would include the names of the conferences for the schools that were offering or interested in him (ie..Ivy, Patriot, CAA, A10, NESCAC) as this would better clue the coach what my son was looking for.
IMO its not about taking the high road (or not) - its about whether you want to make a deal or play the game. If you are ready to make a deal then its absolutely appropriate to share information about other offers on the table. Speaking from my own experience, I find it off-putting when I ask a kid who is talking to him and I get a vague answer. On the flip side, I appreciate the honesty when a kid will say, "I have offers from A & B, and they have offered me this & that. But I am interested in your school too, so if you can make a similar offer I will consider it." At that point the school has enough information to make a decision about how bad they want the player (or not) - and the player has enough information to make a choice.
My son and I agreed to openly share who he is talking to, who he visited and who has offered to anyone. And also agreed to never talk about the amount/type/structure/timeline of an offer. And that is still what we do.
I have also taught my son that there are people in the world who "share" information and those who "take" information without sharing information with you. Never trust the second group.
We would share who we had talked to and who had made offer but not the offer itself. Sharing the amount of the offer can help or hurt you and you must make the choice. It was interesting that most of them knew who we were being recruited by before we told them but every now and then they were surprised. i believe that also made them more intrigued. When the SEC offer came in, several of the other P5 schools upped theirs tremendously. We did not tell them but they knew it within minutes. So the circle is small when you really get down to it. I believe it also played a part that my son's travel team had connections at several P5 schools that were recruiting him so when they found out he was getting offered from SEC school they contacted their coaching friends and the word spread fast. We never shared the amount but did confirm that he had been offered by UT.
I would answer honestly....if you're "talking to" other schools, tell them, but also say something along the lines of "but I am really interested in your program". If he has offers, tell them you have offers...but don't say what.....and again, "but I am still very interested in discussing your program with you if you feel I'd be a fit".
I agree with most of the posts above, be honest, it's a small community and they are going to find out anyway.
But PLEASE don't let your son post all his offers on social media! drives me crazy to see that " blessed to have received my 35th offer from "state U".
pabaseballdad posted:I agree with most of the posts above, be honest, it's a small community and they are going to find out anyway.
But PLEASE don't let your son post all his offers on social media! drives me crazy to see that " blessed to have received my 35th offer from "state U".
Tell them.
Just don't be "brag-a-docious"...
Honesty, as stated above. Coaches want a player who can contribute to their program...put ego in check! Forget the twitter, FB, instagram, snapchat, etc!
If asked directly, be honest. I think in general it is good to be honest in the recruiting process. Baseball is such a small world, and these coaches all talk to each other.
if you are 6'1" don't say you are 6'2"
if you run a 7.3 60 and you expect to run a 6.9 by the time you hit a showcase in 6 months, tell them that exactly, what you are working towards, but be honest about the best you've run
and if they ask who else has offered you, tell them. If they don't ask, nobody needs to know....
I would share because it can confirm what level recruit they think you are and that you have other options.
As some have alluded to, they know, and if they don't know, they will know. I also agree that I wouldn't tell them what the offer particulars are, but you aren't going to hurt anything by telling them when they ask.
For my son, it was a common question that he answered, but I think coaches generally had an idea as son was primarily looking at schools from 2 conferences. When we found a "similarity" in schools following son, I knew son he was "fishing in right pond." But it was only until the first offer occurred, though "interested dream school" changed its "interest" to offer.
If you mention schools be honest with whom you're talking to, the coaches talk, and they're roommates at the showcases.
This goes back to another thread but most will ask who are you talking to and who has offered. If you have talked to them in person don't say it. Just because you sent them emails and texts does not mean you are talking. If they have not responded personally to you or talked to you in person about playing there then you are not talking. I've stood with the RC's who joked about a kid who said he was talking to so and so and they had never heard of him. He threw 81 and said he was talking to P5 schools. Just be honest and tell them. If you are new to this, they are either good friends or worst enemies with the other RC's and HC's around them. And either way they are talking and have no problem calling and asking someone if they are truly talking to you or offered you especially if it does not fit their view of you.
How about if your kid is offered by a school and there is a second that said they are going to offer, but haven't yet. The first school gives kid a month to decide. Do you tell second school " hey, I have a month to decide, what time frame are you looking at offering?" I don't know a easy way around it, but any thoughts would help. This is son's scenario right now.
"we have instructed our son to take what we thought was the "high road""
Oh brother.
You are selling your son's talents. Why do you want to piss off the guy that might 'hire' your son?
You need to tell each coach that you are talking to, that this is your son's dream school. Even if it's not at the moment, it may be the only offer he gets.
TXdad2019 posted:How about if your kid is offered by a school and there is a second that said they are going to offer, but haven't yet. The first school gives kid a month to decide. Do you tell second school " hey, I have a month to decide, what time frame are you looking at offering?" I don't know a easy way around it, but any thoughts would help. This is son's scenario right now.
Just curious, do you want a second offer as a back up or are you looking to leverage it for more $$
2022NYC posted:TXdad2019 posted:How about if your kid is offered by a school and there is a second that said they are going to offer, but haven't yet. The first school gives kid a month to decide. Do you tell second school " hey, I have a month to decide, what time frame are you looking at offering?" I don't know a easy way around it, but any thoughts would help. This is son's scenario right now.
Just curious, do you want a second offer as a back up or are you looking to leverage it for more $$
No, son I think is leaning towards second school, but has to make a decision by the end of the month. If he turns down the first school and let's say second doesn't offer (although, they said one was coming), now he's stuck out with no offers. This crap is stressful. Lol
TXdad2019 posted:How about if your kid is offered by a school and there is a second that said they are going to offer, but haven't yet. The first school gives kid a month to decide. Do you tell second school " hey, I have a month to decide, what time frame are you looking at offering?" I don't know a easy way around it, but any thoughts would help. This is son's scenario right now.
Yes I think that it is fair and reasonable for your son to tell the second school that he has a pending offer that has a deadline attached to it that expires in a month. So if they are thinking about making an offer, he would need to know soon.
TXdad2019 posted:2022NYC posted:TXdad2019 posted:How about if your kid is offered by a school and there is a second that said they are going to offer, but haven't yet. The first school gives kid a month to decide. Do you tell second school " hey, I have a month to decide, what time frame are you looking at offering?" I don't know a easy way around it, but any thoughts would help. This is son's scenario right now.
Just curious, do you want a second offer as a back up or are you looking to leverage it for more $$
No, son I think is leaning towards second school, but has to make a decision by the end of the month. If he turns down the first school and let's say second doesn't offer (although, they said one was coming), now he's stuck out with no offers. This crap is stressful. Lol
It may be stressful but its not hard to read your son's situation. A statement from school B that an offer will be made means absolutely nothing. Your son has an offer in hand from school A that wants him and he has 30 days ( a fair time frame) to answer. Go to school B and say, "I have an offer from school B and here is what they have offered & I have 30 days to decide. I'm interested in your school too and would like to have an offer from you to consider before I respond to school A. If I don't hear from you I will accept the offer from school A." If you don't communicate like this to your schools of interest you are not taking the high road - you are taking the wrong road.
adbono posted:TXdad2019 posted:2022NYC posted:TXdad2019 posted:How about if your kid is offered by a school and there is a second that said they are going to offer, but haven't yet. The first school gives kid a month to decide. Do you tell second school " hey, I have a month to decide, what time frame are you looking at offering?" I don't know a easy way around it, but any thoughts would help. This is son's scenario right now.
Just curious, do you want a second offer as a back up or are you looking to leverage it for more $$
No, son I think is leaning towards second school, but has to make a decision by the end of the month. If he turns down the first school and let's say second doesn't offer (although, they said one was coming), now he's stuck out with no offers. This crap is stressful. Lol
It may be stressful but its not hard to read your son's situation. A statement from school B that an offer will be made means absolutely nothing. Your son has an offer in hand from school A that wants him and he has 30 days ( a fair time frame) to answer. Go to school B and say, "I have an offer from school B and here is what they have offered & I have 30 days to decide. I'm interested in your school too and would like to have an offer from you to consider before I respond to school A. If I don't hear from you I will accept the offer from school A." If you don't communicate like this to your schools of interest you are not taking the high road - you are taking the wrong road.
I never said anything about a high road. Your thinking of maybe the OP saying that. What you said is what he was about to do, but was wanting confirmation since there's folks been through this before on here.
TXdad2019 posted:adbono posted:TXdad2019 posted:2022NYC posted:TXdad2019 posted:How about if your kid is offered by a school and there is a second that said they are going to offer, but haven't yet. The first school gives kid a month to decide. Do you tell second school " hey, I have a month to decide, what time frame are you looking at offering?" I don't know a easy way around it, but any thoughts would help. This is son's scenario right now.
Just curious, do you want a second offer as a back up or are you looking to leverage it for more $$
No, son I think is leaning towards second school, but has to make a decision by the end of the month. If he turns down the first school and let's say second doesn't offer (although, they said one was coming), now he's stuck out with no offers. This crap is stressful. Lol
It may be stressful but its not hard to read your son's situation. A statement from school B that an offer will be made means absolutely nothing. Your son has an offer in hand from school A that wants him and he has 30 days ( a fair time frame) to answer. Go to school B and say, "I have an offer from school B and here is what they have offered & I have 30 days to decide. I'm interested in your school too and would like to have an offer from you to consider before I respond to school A. If I don't hear from you I will accept the offer from school A." If you don't communicate like this to your schools of interest you are not taking the high road - you are taking the wrong road.
I never said anything about a high road. Your thinking of maybe the OP saying that. What you said is what he was about to do, but was wanting confirmation since there's folks been through this before on here.
I was not attributing the "high road" comment to you. That terminology has appeared in this (and earlier threads) and it is naïve thinking - just my opinion.
adbono posted:TXdad2019 posted:adbono posted:TXdad2019 posted:2022NYC posted:TXdad2019 posted:How about if your kid is offered by a school and there is a second that said they are going to offer, but haven't yet. The first school gives kid a month to decide. Do you tell second school " hey, I have a month to decide, what time frame are you looking at offering?" I don't know a easy way around it, but any thoughts would help. This is son's scenario right now.
Just curious, do you want a second offer as a back up or are you looking to leverage it for more $$
No, son I think is leaning towards second school, but has to make a decision by the end of the month. If he turns down the first school and let's say second doesn't offer (although, they said one was coming), now he's stuck out with no offers. This crap is stressful. Lol
It may be stressful but its not hard to read your son's situation. A statement from school B that an offer will be made means absolutely nothing. Your son has an offer in hand from school A that wants him and he has 30 days ( a fair time frame) to answer. Go to school B and say, "I have an offer from school B and here is what they have offered & I have 30 days to decide. I'm interested in your school too and would like to have an offer from you to consider before I respond to school A. If I don't hear from you I will accept the offer from school A." If you don't communicate like this to your schools of interest you are not taking the high road - you are taking the wrong road.
I never said anything about a high road. Your thinking of maybe the OP saying that. What you said is what he was about to do, but was wanting confirmation since there's folks been through this before on here.
I was not attributing the "high road" comment to you. That terminology has appeared in this (and earlier threads) and it is naïve thinking - just my opinion.
No problem, we've never been through this before and wasn't sure there was any unwritten rule. I don't want son coming off too pushy, but with a time frame from school A, I didn't want him sounding pushy to school B is all. I want to make sure we stay respectful to all parties.
TXdad2019 posted:don't want son coming off too pushy, but with a time frame from school A, I didn't want him sounding pushy to school B is all. I want to make sure we stay respectful to all parties.
My son did exactly this. Had offers from other schools but liked this coach/program the best, and let him know.
Honestly I was pretty impressed with the way my boy spoke with the coach and advocated for himself.
He even negotiated his package a little bit, and had to go back and tell another coach that he would not be accepting his offer. Made me real proud of him. Great life lesson.
The truth will set you free. But the coaches all know each other and they all talk, so make sure you don't stretch the truth.
If the suggested response feels too pushy to your son, a softened approach could be something like...
"I currently have an offer from another school and there is a deadline approaching . I am very interested in (your school) but will likely have to make a choice soon. Can you tell me if it is still your plan to make an offer and if you have a timeframe in mind?"
I think both are fine but your son has to be reasonably comfortable
cabbagedad posted:If the suggested response feels too pushy to your son, a softened approach could be something like...
"I currently have an offer from another school and there is a deadline approaching . I am very interested in (your school) but will likely have to make a choice soon. Can you tell me if it is still your plan to make an offer and if you have a timeframe in mind?"
I think both are fine but your son has to be reasonably comfortable
Thanks, now if I can get him to quit texting during class. Lol
When my son got an offer from one of his top schools we asked him if any other pending offers would matter or that he would consider over this offer. There was only one school. We had our club coach reach out to that school and tell them the situation. They were honest and said they were going another way. I told him since none of the other pending offers would change his mind, accept. We didn’t want to try the whole try to negotiate offers thing. I think coaches are used to being told the situation and it makes things clearer for everyone.
Sometimes I wonder if people are afraid of offending a school/coach if they receive an offer from another school. If the school/coach walks away because you have another offer how badly did they want you?
It’s like sales people who are afraid to close. If you did your job you’ve earned the right to be up front.
TXdad2019 posted:2022NYC posted:TXdad2019 posted:How about if your kid is offered by a school and there is a second that said they are going to offer, but haven't yet. The first school gives kid a month to decide. Do you tell second school " hey, I have a month to decide, what time frame are you looking at offering?" I don't know a easy way around it, but any thoughts would help. This is son's scenario right now.
Just curious, do you want a second offer as a back up or are you looking to leverage it for more $$
No, son I think is leaning towards second school, but has to make a decision by the end of the month. If he turns down the first school and let's say second doesn't offer (although, they said one was coming), now he's stuck out with no offers. This crap is stressful. Lol
Be careful before turning down an offer before the other offer is in hand. I know many a kid who as soon as the original offer was declined, the subsequent expected offer from the other school either came in at a lower than expected amount of became a walk-on offer. The all know each other, true. But what this thread has been flirting around and not saying is that these programs have finite budgets. If a school knows that your other option just went away, there is less incentive to make a similar or better offer.
Don't turn down anything until you either have that offer or they tell you concretely that the offer is not coming. It's just not in your athlete's interest.
And...disclosing the date the other offer is expecting a decision really doesn't help your athlete either. I believe someone else said it above, they either want you or don't. I would ask the school you are awaiting and offer from that you would like to make your decision by next week (or pick your date) and if they are going to make an offer for you to consider you would appreciate being able to weigh it by then. Just my opinion.
Hi,
Sharing recruiting information with college coaches is very important in the recruiting process. I've seen numerous times where an athlete wasn't getting recruited by a school, but then a school in the conference offers. Now everybody is interested!! Families need to realize that they are selling themselves to the coaches. A coach will be more interested in an athlete if he/she have other offers and interest. As opposed to some one that nobody has spoken to.
I recently published a Q&A series with Texas college coaches about how they navigate the recruiting process. I think this will help with any recruiting questions: https://underrecruitedprep.com/blog
Colleges: University of Mary Hardin-Baylor, The University of Texas at Tyler, Wayland Baptist University, Texas Wesleyan University, Dallas Baptist University, Our Lady of the Lake University, Abilene Christian University, Hill College, Howard College, Paris Junior College, Southwestern University, East Texas Baptist University, Hardin-Simmons University, Murray State College, Rose State College.
It's easy. Call School 2 and say "I have an offer from another school that I am strongly considering accepting. I'm still interested in you guys at _____U. The other school gave me a deadline and I wanted to know if you were considering making an offer? Otherwise I will be committing."
Personally, I would not give details of the other offer like some have mentioned. If School2 knows you're going to accept an offer for 25%, they're not going to offer you 50%. I would see what they offer and if it isn't high enough just give them the number you need to commit there and they will either match it or walk away.
If they don't pick up the phone I would email and consider no response for 48 hours a no. Odds are they are waiting for another player to commit to them. Put the pressure on the school and force their hand. As much as they might rather have another player, they do not want two prospects signing elsewhere.
