To sign or not to sign

PhantomII,

We are in the same predicament. You say it better thou. I want to wait as long as I can. I don't want to have the coach pull his offer off the table because we are waiting for bigger and better things.? But how do you do this without pissing him off. He may think that if we are looking else where, then he might say sorry, I am no longer interested in your son. If you don't want to come here, then I don't need you. And this one coach it this type of person. thanks

I think the decision needs to be made from the options you have. But first you have to determine what your son’s options are. Phantom, it sounds as if your son’s top choices may not be an option.

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My son has talked with the coaches at the schools which are at the top of his list and didn't get anything encouraging from the conversation. The scout says they may be recruiting someone higher on their list and as they commit, attention may turn to my son.

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I personally think you need to pass on the top schools but to ease your mind, why don’t YOU call the coach(s) at the school(s), explain that your son has other offers on the table but his school was at the top of his list….see what he says. These coaches for the most part will be honest with you. Don’t try to read between the lines.
I have heard of a few “horror” stories where a player allowed his best offer to slip from his grasp while waiting on the call that never came, but then again I’ve heard of last minute deals too.
Good Luck,
Fungo

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

My son had a school on his list...who had been calling weekly and had shown great interest (or so my son thought)....other schools were offering visits and he was wanting this school to invite him to their campus...it was high on his list at that point. This was during the fall.

Well, I told my son to call the coach and just be as upfront as he could and determine the coach's true intent...(sadly...someone alluded to the fact that this coach was going to offer my son a scholly - this just made my son more anxious).

Son called. I listened from other room. Very proud of my son for his candor and his politeness, but when he hung up the phone he simply said, "The coach doesn't really want me." So he marked them off and moved on...

His opinion was, "Well, I'll find a coach who does, and do my best for him."

Sorting through and making timely decisions is not as easy as one might think...

Texas2004,
Great story and the proper (but not too common) way to resolve this problem.
Fungo

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

You DO have that month in front of you, so don't be rushed. It's a big decision and it's hard not to get antsy. I'd be working on making my decision (between those three), based on what was on the table now, as if they were the only options you were going to get. And be ready with your answer when the deadline gets here.

In the meantime, I'd surely take some of Fungo's advice and be proactive toward the other schools on his list. You said that those coaches had not given you son any encouraging feelings. You never know what they are thinking if you don't ask. If they aren't interested, your son has this season to make them regret it. He may just grit his teeth a little harder, get that Clint Eastwood determined look in his eye, and adopt that "I'll show them" attitude.

Remember this also, If getting to the next level is a long term goal, playing time at a Juco or NAIA school may be a bigger benefit developmentally than bench time at a D-1 school.

Fungo and Texas2004 give you solid advice. Find out when the #1 school comes back from holiday break and then call the head coach and ask a direct question. 2004 explained it well. Let them know that you have other offers.

Pace yourself, as you wrote, your son has about a month to decide. Chances are good that each of the offers will still be there in the later stages (April) as well.

If you want some opinion or more info about the Tenn. juco and maybe the NAIA's send me an email and we can talk.
bhowdy@chartertn.net

Bob,
"Doing nothing is still a course of action"

Some thoughts here

01-- many school at this time like to get verbal committments from the next tier of players at certain positions-- getting the committment early here frees them to go after other positions of need

02-- keep plugging away at the schools on YOUR list-- find out as much as you can regarding their interest in you and how sincere it may be

03-- yes you have time but time goes by fast when it comes to decision making

TRhit

Thanks guys, you have provided me with some valuable insight. I appreciate your advice.

PhantomII,

Rarely, does anyone put themselves in the coaches shoes. It does not mean that you are on "their side" if you do. But, if you will consider their perspective, it will help you figure out where you "fit in".

I will give you an example.

First you have to accept that your son IS being compared to other players.

My son was asked to visit a camp. When we got there another player at the same position was there from the schools backyard. The school needed a player or players at my son's position.

The coaches wanted the kid from their back yard because of familiarity with him and the kid was likely to sign with their school.

They offered and he accepted. My son was out. I don't know if my son would have gone that far or not. They didn't either. I bet the kid got less scholarship than my son would have because of distance. Had the school not signed the local kid, they likely would have offered to my son. We would have taken a harder look and might have gone, but it would have taken a full ride.

When you tell a coach you need thirty days to make your decision, they don't want to have to wait to pull the trigger if another good athlete comes available.

There are usually 3-5 coaches. They do know what's in their respective talent pool. You don't. But they can usually onle deal with about 1-2 players per postion at one time and probably not all nine postions at one time.

So, the reason that you are not hearing from them, or getting any information is that they are looking at other players and/or other positions. Time is on their side and they have the pick because there are more players and time for them than there are schools and time for you.

As I've said before, it's a complicated game of Red Rover Red Rover Let Junior Come Over combined with Musical Chairs.

And if someone calls your name and the music is playing you might want to think pretty hard about taking a seat.

Unless you know the song real well and who has the next pick.

Sit down this evening with your son and discuss this matter one last time.

Explain to him that it is time for him to start making some decisions.

Tell him that you will support him, whether emotionallly or financially, as may be required.

Give him a hug and take your wife out to dinner.

When you come home, ask him about his decision.

People are unique. Some are risk takers at heart - some are more comfortable taking the sure shot. Neither is the correct form of action, just different forms.

A risk taker at heart is used to taking chances and has learned how to back paddle when the odds run short. It is much harder for a person who is not a gambler to react when one opportunity is lost and another must be found.

There is not a right or wrong answer to these scenarios - rather there are several right and wrong answers. What you need to determine is how much risk you need or are willing to take on. Only then will you feel comfortable making such a decision.

After all it is just as much about risk as it is opporttunities.

No one else has said it, so I guess I will: If your son is able to get nearly a full ride with academic assistance at School 3, he can probably get it at other places. But, if he likes it there, with no D1 offers on the horizon, take it and run.

Ain't the HSBBWEB great? I appreciate all the helpful advice and opinions. Where else but the HSBBWEB could one get this help from people who have been there!

iowakiddad, you are probably correct, but I guess it all boils down to what AParent had to say. Just how much risk are you willing to take?

Thanks guys, you are a great bunch!

This captures the toughest part, from my view, of the entire process. You must make very serious decisions -- life-changing decisions -- with incomplete information. And if you wait for better information, what otherwise might be the best opportunity at the moment (and ultimately in the end) might not be available any longer.

I thought for a long time that Loyola Marymount in Los Angeles might be the best place for my son. He had clear offers in hand from two Big 12 schools in addition to Virginia Tech. This was in the early period. Loyola Marymount was clearly interested, but did not want to commit to an offer until after he played his senior season, with no guarantee that an offer would be forthcoming even then. The other three offers clearly had a limit as to how long they would be on the table. Certainly, none of them would have extended beyond the early period and probably not more than a couple of weeks. The schools needed an answer or they needed to move on.

Fortunately, my son was so enamored with Virginia Tech (my alma mater, by the way. His mother's, too) that from his point of view the choice was easy.

Best of luck. I have a sense of your dilemma and all I can say is that there are no easy answers.

BeenthereIL, your advice stinks! I gave my wife a hug, took my son out to dinner, came back and asked my wife if she had made any decisions. She informed me that she was going to redo the kitchen and had already ordered a new stove, dishwasher and refridgerator. Oh, wait, I read your reply wrong!!
BeenthereIL, it was good advice, and I will take it later. My son has one more visit scheduled before the deadline on the others, so we will take that visit and then do the 'hug thing'.
jemaz, the one constant I have discovered in the recruiting jungle is that you are continually comparing apples to oranges. One school has great facilities but a mediocre team, one has a great team but is a small school with limited educational opportunities, one has everything including an abundance of players in your son's position, etc. Then on top of that, one school is just developing an interest in your son at about the same time the door is starting to close at another. I can see a great deal of advantages in being recruited early, at least you get the offers on the table at the same time (or at least closer to the same time than those being recruited later). I guess the grass always seems greener...........

I have read with a great deal of interest some of the posts made by Indianna Baseball Coach, MrandMrsBaseball and others. I know how they feel. Probably several of you seasoned posters went through this very same thing in years past. No matter what, it WILL have a good ending. You make a decision and live with it, knowing you made the the best one.

Does anyone have a TUMS to spare?!!!

I have no advice to give.

All I can give you is support!!!!

Good Luck to your son and his mom and dad.

JeMaz's son had the ideal situation-how could anybody turn down the Hokies?????

p.s. Help Wanted ad: Defensive players wanted. speed helpful but not essential. Must be able to tackle and hold opponents to less than 49 points. Knowledge of words to "Tech Triumph" and "Old Hokie" desirable. Tackling skills will eliminate all other requirements. Hair should not look like a used rag mop. For information, call coach Bud Foster at BR549.

I think it comes down to more than "first choice" on your list because that first choice may not be interested in you or may not need to fill the position you play

For me it comes down to this: are any of the offers at places he WANTS to be--- or does he have enough confidence in himself to wait until later in the spring and see what happens ?

BOTTOM LINE__Be thankful he has this dilemma--others don't

TRhit

Good point, TR. At least he does have choices. Thanks for putting it in perspective. One person's 'problems' may be another's treasures.

We noticed something of a herd mentality this fall. A lot of players in Tennessee signed early, and I think players on the fence felt some pressure to go ahead and sign in fear that the offer might not be there in the spring. Our son was ready to get it over with, and we're happy with his decision. However, what's right for us might not be right for you. I agree with the post above about one's tolerance for risk. Odds are, if your son is really wanted by these programs, then there will be an opportunity. I agree that making the phone call is the best option.

Don't forget "fit". I agree with jaxnbulldog

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Remember this also, If getting to the next level is a long term goal, playing time at a Juco or NAIA school may be a bigger benefit developmentally than bench time at a D-1 school.

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It's better to play than watch.

As TRHIT said, be thankful you have this problem.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

I don't evny you, we are just getting thru the process. No advice to give, you got the best from some of these websters and everyone's situation is different. The only thing to add, son's lifelong desire to play at one school just didn't look so good after the visit.
Also, my son decided not to take all five visits and that helped to ease some of the stress.

I just wanted to let you guys know that every thing worked out great. Before the deadline was up son got a call from a school that was very high on his list, asking him to come down for a visit. Son loved the campus, the baseball program, the coach and the school. They liked son and worked out a pretty good arrangement and son signed with them.

The school son signed with was not the biggest school or baseball program. Their offer was not the best offer he had received. But, that school was the best FIT.

Thanks for the advice guys, you (HSBBW) are a great bunch.

PhantomII:
Congratulations to your son!!!

Phantom11...actually sounds like it was the BEST offer..for your son and his future....

Congrats...enjoy the sense of relief..and accomplishment...

Phantom....glad to hear everything worked out for your son!

congrats to your son...best of luck during his senior year!

actually, I'm glad you brought all this up...we are facing somewhat of same dilema with our son...he is being recruited by an NAIA and a couple of JUCOs...one JUCO wants him but no $$ offered...is close to home and son knows several players from our area that are attending there now...NAIA wants him and it too is close to home, son likes coaches, etc but I think in his heart would really like to play D1...son has had two coaches who played college ball tell him not to sign early...but I'm like you! what if interest fades? what if son has a stellar season but schools have who they need...it certainly is a catch 22

bballmom2....have your son find out what their timeline is...we had several JUCO's in the works last fall...and they knew other colleges were in the mix...so son asked them...

for us...it worked out fine...this was last fall...a couple said we had 2 months..others said they'd hold it for him...till spring...

I would ask...

thanks..will have him ask...so far (to my knowledge) no one has mentioned a timeline to him

bballmom2, ain't recruiting the best time of your life??!! I really feel for you, because there have been a lot of us in that boat. I am definitely glad it is over with, and in the end the best worked out. I hope it does for you also.

Practice does not make perfect; practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect.

Bump -
I thought this might interest a few folks who are in this situation right now! It's that time of year. Making a decision can be a very difficult thing as there are many things to consider. I wonder if anyone has regrets they signed too early or waited and missed what would have been a great opportunity?

IMO...make your best choice...and DON"T LOOK BACK...it's a job, and if you start the pattern now, what will you do when you REALLY have to work and don't like something??

Many webster's will advise to make the school fit first, baseball is payment for your hard work, and your degree is your path to your future and career.

Choose wisely...learn flexibility and humility.

Great news, sounds like the one he went with or the NAIA he liked would work.

Great to have choices !

Good luck and best wishes.

CV

Like lafmom said, this is an interesting post for some this time of year. Like Starzz said, make your best choice and don't look back.

I made the origional post in this thread, and at the time I (nor my son) didn't have a clue what to do. It was very nerve wracking! The situation worked out. My son loves his school, his baseball team and his coach. The program has a JV team, so we knew he would get playing time. He enrolled in the fall and saw that there were several players all vying for the position that he wanted. He worked hard in the fall, made the varsity team and is on the traveling squad. They travel to New Orleans for their first game on January 29.

As a side note, he made the first semester Dean's List. I am one proud papa!

No matter how nerve wracking the situation is now, if your son wants to play baseball, there is a college out there somewhere that will be a good fit for your son.

PhantomII -
Double WOW! Travel squad and Dean's List ... some awesome accomplishments for a Freshman!

Good idea to bump this post.
I like all the things that Starzz has said, most importantly choose wisely and you will never have to look back.
If it is not right, don't sign.
Congrats to you all!

Phantom - That's AWESOME! Obviously he chose correctly. Congratulations to your son and family!

One other thought here. Sometimes we are very rigid about topics which by their nature are very fluid. Your son should examine why his "first choice" is indeed that. None of us reallyknow whether choices we made whether they be colleges, mates or jobs were the very best ones for us, because the only way to truly know is to choose all of them and compare. Which is impossible. We can all be very happy with the choices we made, but as to whether it was the best choice, who can tell. (By the way, Mrs usma82, that was the best choice for me.)

Many schools have good or great academics. Many schools have acceptable baseball programs. Choosing a school in those categories is important, and other than that it may just be a roll of the dice.

Probably the most important criteria, given that the academics are relatively equal is - does the coach really want me? Answer that question, and you probably have your decision made.