Are you a coach who believes in tough love with his players?
If not why?
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Could you define tough love so we know exactly what you are looking for?
I'm thinking that I'm a tough love guy but want to make sure. I'm sure you remember our backing off the plate thread. Pretty much saying the same thing but using different ways to explain it.
I'm thinking that I'm a tough love guy but want to make sure. I'm sure you remember our backing off the plate thread. Pretty much saying the same thing but using different ways to explain it.
Coach
To me a "tough love" coach is one who says this how we do it and they do it or else--he is not afraid to reprimand and let players have it when they screw up or do not follow the teams rules--yet he will pat them on the back when they do things right
To me a "tough love" coach is one who says this how we do it and they do it or else--he is not afraid to reprimand and let players have it when they screw up or do not follow the teams rules--yet he will pat them on the back when they do things right
This is a great question. I think I am somewhat of a tough love coach, but I also am working on patience and relationships with players. It is such a fine line. I will say that in my opinion to be a true tough love coach you have to really not care what the parents think and more importantly, know you have the backing and support of your administration and school system in general. A coach who knows it's his ship to sail, can run a great program. I hope many people reply to this.
I will admit that in running my own show I answer to nobody which is great-
Heard a great statement fron UCONN Ladies Hoops coach Geno Auriemma today when asked how he gets all his players to play his game--his answer was very simple---"they either buy into my system or they don't play here"---perhaps that is why they are 68-0 right
There is no reason why HS coaches cannot operate the same way--and the winning coaches do
Heard a great statement fron UCONN Ladies Hoops coach Geno Auriemma today when asked how he gets all his players to play his game--his answer was very simple---"they either buy into my system or they don't play here"---perhaps that is why they are 68-0 right
There is no reason why HS coaches cannot operate the same way--and the winning coaches do
Rules , Policies , the way we do things -- everyone is held to the same standards. Everyone. We get on and off the field. We wear our uniform a certain way. We play hard. We hustle.
But every player is different. And I believe it is very important to know your players. What may motivate one player will discourage another. Some kids need a pat on the back. Some need a kick in the a*s so to speak. The best coaches imo know their players and what makes them tick. He understands when they need a pat on the back and when they need a good butt chewing. And he knows how to push the right buttons and who has which button.
There are certain things that make up a programs foundation. Hard work. Dedication. Desire. Discipline. Mental toughness. Family. All for one and one for all. Those things you instill in your players and its the fabric of what you do. Each player is different. And understanding their differences and knowing how to treat them as individuals within the team concept is critical imo.
But every player is different. And I believe it is very important to know your players. What may motivate one player will discourage another. Some kids need a pat on the back. Some need a kick in the a*s so to speak. The best coaches imo know their players and what makes them tick. He understands when they need a pat on the back and when they need a good butt chewing. And he knows how to push the right buttons and who has which button.
There are certain things that make up a programs foundation. Hard work. Dedication. Desire. Discipline. Mental toughness. Family. All for one and one for all. Those things you instill in your players and its the fabric of what you do. Each player is different. And understanding their differences and knowing how to treat them as individuals within the team concept is critical imo.
Thanks for the definition and I believe that is who I am as a coach. Obviously who you are as a coach evolves as you go through your career. I have no doubt that early in my career I was a jerk although I did care about my players. To me the important thing to do was establish I was the boss. Looking back at it now establishing I was the boss was something I had to do but probably other ways of doing it. I think my moment of clarity came when I actually did tell my guys I cared for them more than just players - I cared about them as individuals. I guess I always thought they knew it was implied but this really opened my eyes in how to get even more out of my guys. Throughout this discovery process I never let up on my standards and my guys knew who was boss but that I cared about them.
Now that I'm in my 17th season as a high school coach I don't have to prove I'm the boss. I got a great resume that proves that I am. Now that just means they fall into my expectations much quicker and I can build the relationship even more quickly.
TR I agree and disagree with your statement that HS coaches can take UCONN's coach approach. Those who are successful do take this attitude but they tend to have administrations who support them. There are many HS coaches out there who want and try to establish this approach but when the parents come complaining but the admin listens to them instead of letting the coach do his thing. Next thing you know the coach gets fired because he stuck to his guns. If I didn't have the principal that I did my first year as a head coach I would have been one of those guys who got fired. He stuck with me and defended me to the parents and I was able to put my idea of a program into place. I left there as the all time winningest coach in that school's history. But I know guys who could coach rings around me not get the chance because of weak administrations.
Now that I'm in my 17th season as a high school coach I don't have to prove I'm the boss. I got a great resume that proves that I am. Now that just means they fall into my expectations much quicker and I can build the relationship even more quickly.
TR I agree and disagree with your statement that HS coaches can take UCONN's coach approach. Those who are successful do take this attitude but they tend to have administrations who support them. There are many HS coaches out there who want and try to establish this approach but when the parents come complaining but the admin listens to them instead of letting the coach do his thing. Next thing you know the coach gets fired because he stuck to his guns. If I didn't have the principal that I did my first year as a head coach I would have been one of those guys who got fired. He stuck with me and defended me to the parents and I was able to put my idea of a program into place. I left there as the all time winningest coach in that school's history. But I know guys who could coach rings around me not get the chance because of weak administrations.
Coach you make some great points. There are a lot of great coaches out there that simply do not get the backing they deserve and need to run a good program. The reason many programs never achieve anything is because they simply will not back the coach so he moves on. And the only coaches that will coach in this programs are coaches that these programs deserve.
a supportive administration is the key. we are very lucky in that regard.
after you set the tone of what you expect the first couple of years, make some hard decisions, it just happens after that. the kids know before they get here. the problems become minimal. the best kids in our school are the baseball and basketball players. being a good person and a good student come before anything else. period. the kids that cant handle that don't play. our kids make it easy to coach.
we try to do everything we can to make our team a family atmosphere. like coach2709 said, we dont have to prove we are the boss. that happened a long time ago. we can work on relationships and an environment of winning on and off the field.
good topic.
after you set the tone of what you expect the first couple of years, make some hard decisions, it just happens after that. the kids know before they get here. the problems become minimal. the best kids in our school are the baseball and basketball players. being a good person and a good student come before anything else. period. the kids that cant handle that don't play. our kids make it easy to coach.
we try to do everything we can to make our team a family atmosphere. like coach2709 said, we dont have to prove we are the boss. that happened a long time ago. we can work on relationships and an environment of winning on and off the field.
good topic.
don't sugarcoat things. Be fair and honest with your players. If they screw up let them know(of course in todays atmosphere the method is always in question) If they do well pat them on the back. to be honest knowing the climate today and being out of high school coaching for 10 years I do not think I would last a week 
you'd still do fine. kids dont change. the only thing that changes is what people expect from them.
quote:the only thing that changes is what people expect from them.
That is why kids are different.
doesnt mean you have to change your expectations. kids will respond and adjust.
raiderbb
In a perfect world yes I suppose.
In a perfect world yes I suppose.
I am at a school where we have both a "tough" love approach (baseball) and one not so much (football).
Since coming here, the # of wins in baseball has increased 600%, and we have had sucess letting the kids know the rules and cons. for breaking them.
Football has played for three state championships the last 5 years with a great chance at playing for another one this year.
Both I and the head football coach put kids first, we just have different approaches. Is one better than the other?......
Since coming here, the # of wins in baseball has increased 600%, and we have had sucess letting the kids know the rules and cons. for breaking them.
Football has played for three state championships the last 5 years with a great chance at playing for another one this year.
Both I and the head football coach put kids first, we just have different approaches. Is one better than the other?......
quote:Originally posted by Coach_May:
Rules , Policies , the way we do things -- everyone is held to the same standards. Everyone. We get on and off the field. We wear our uniform a certain way. We play hard. We hustle.
But every player is different. And I believe it is very important to know your players. What may motivate one player will discourage another. Some kids need a pat on the back. Some need a kick in the a*s so to speak. The best coaches imo know their players and what makes them tick. He understands when they need a pat on the back and when they need a good butt chewing. And he knows how to push the right buttons and who has which button.
There are certain things that make up a programs foundation. Hard work. Dedication. Desire. Discipline. Mental toughness. Family. All for one and one for all. Those things you instill in your players and its the fabric of what you do. Each player is different. And understanding their differences and knowing how to treat them as individuals within the team concept is critical imo.
This is a great post and pretty much how I feel. I've really had to adjust some from a "tough love" all the time coach when I was young into a guy who differentiates how he motivates his players.
This in no way means i have a problem being hard on or constructively critical of any kid on the team. I'll never be that way. But a realize that a swift kick in the pants all the time simply doesn't motivate every kid to the maximum.
This coaching thing is a constant learning process, but this may be the most important lesson I've learned.
quote:This coaching thing is a constant learning process, but this may be the most important lesson I've learned.
In my years I learned real early that u can not please everybody. If u try u are in trouble. when I played I was fortunate to have coaches that were tough. never bothered me. you had to have tough skin. But that was a long time ago. Maybe this might be a little sarcastic but it seems now more time is spent worrying about self esteem and giving everybody a trophy. Sooner or later reality will set in. I think it happened a little sooner years past.
