We've Lost One

Al - I am very sorry to hear this

My deepest sympathies to his family and friends.

Al,

I started to call you, then was not sure what to do.

My son Eric had no idea, he really liked Ryan, was his roommate on the road, his teammate.

The entire MHC community is grieving.

Al,
I'm glad you started this thread. I debated within myself on if I should do it or not.

I was fortunate enough to get to coach Ryan at St. John's at Prospect Hall when he was a sophomore and again last year at Linganore in his senior year. Ryan was a young man who was everything you would ever want in a player. He was a leader on the field, he knew the game, and he worked as hard as any player you'd ever find. Plus, he had a magnetic personality that just drew people to him. He also had a million dollar smile. I loved him like he was my own son. Learning of his passing has just torn me up. I've had a mist in my eyes and a lump in my throat all day. I just can't focus on work. I'm praying someone will call me and tell me that it was just a misunderstanding and he's alright. I have so many wonderful memories of my times with him.

I'll share this one with you all. I'm sure it isn't going to be as funny as it was actually living it and being there in the moment:

We (SJPH) had a game against Archbishop Curley at Curley in Baltimore. Of course with his years of playing Metro ball with the Maryland Cardinals, Ryan knew many of the kids that we faced on the opposing teams. Anyway, we got through the lineup to the #8 hitter and Ryan (who was our catcher) called nothing but curve balls to the batter and we walked him. I was very frustrated with his pitch selection and the fact that we had just walked the #8 hitter on nothing but junk. I asked for time out and had a talk with Ryan and Bret on the mound. I said, why did we just throw this kid 4 straight curveballs and walk him? Ryan replied, Coach - he's a great hitter. We have to be careful with him. I said, Ryan - he's hitting 8 in the lineup, how good can he be? Ryan looked up at me with his eyes twinkling and a big grin on his face because he knew he had me... and said, "Coach, I bat 8th!" I went into convulsions laughing. How do you respond to that?! I just turned around and walked back to the dugout. I laughed about that for many days afterward.

I want to echo Al's statement of sympathies to the Murray family. I hope that they gain comfort knowing that the entire baseball community shares their loss. Anyone who knew Ryan had to love him.

I hope that we as coaches are able to take something away from Ryan's passing. Let's remember the stress that young men are under and let's all resolve to be someone that they can go to in times of trouble or pain. We never know the cross that others are carrying, but let's all do a better job to be there for our players. Our love for our players know no bounds.

May God Bless Ryan and bring peace and comfort to the Murray family. My life is better because he touched it.

Sounds like a very nice young man and a very tragic story. If not to painful what were the circumstances it may prove to be a lesson that can be shared.

I pray for the young man and his family and feel for the coaches who have been touched by this young man.

There are a lot of unanswered questions, but it appears he has taken his own life.

I truly do not know, nor do I understand, but I would like to make one request. As a coach sit down with your players and let them know they can call you any time regarding anything.

With respect to Ryan and his family please take time to leave a note of support.

http://www.haightfuneralhome.com/main.htm

If Ryan's page doesn't come up, click on Obituaries, then Ryan.

Thank you
Al McCormick

Thank you Al. He sounded like a very bright happy kid. It makes the events even more mysterious and heartwrenching. As with any parent raising kids we look for the signs. Again I apologize if I have appeared insensitive but sometimes the why question leads to helping others.

Deldad, he truly was. That's the most puzzling thing to everyone I've talked to... Noone had a clue what was going on that led up to this. Apparently there was no foul play involved.

What a tragic loss. I hope that the players who read this will stop and call someone if they ever get so unhappy that they'd consider such drastic measures. Nothing is that bad.

Al & others...I'm sorry.

My family was hit with suicide when my dad took his own life 3.5 years ago. Questions, reflections, more questions...and you never seem to get the answer you want. When those closest to him put their heads together, they will begin to recognize signs.

I took my mom to a support group for survivors. It was very helpful for the both of us. Hearing the torment of those moms and dads talking about their 14-20 year old children who took their own lives, well as you can imagine...is was heart-wrenching. The best thing you can do for the family is listen, tell them how much you loved their child, and keep his memory alive through your words and actions.

Guilt can be a horrible burden for someone who has no business feeling guilty. Through all my research on the topic, I have learned that the person who completes suicide doesn't perform the act on a whim. They are troubled and in pain...pain that none of us can imagine.

They are now at peace, and it is those who he touched who need to help the family heal.

His obituary:

Mr. Ryan Patrick Murray, age 19, of Mount Airy, died suddenly on Friday, April 20, 2007, in Mars Hill, N.C.

Born December 10, 1987, in Howard County, he was the son of Steven Patrick and Mary Rebecca Stonesifer Murray of Mount Airy.

Ryan was a graduate of Linganore High School, class of 2006. He was a freshman at Mars Hill College, Mars Hill, N.C. He was an accomplished baseball player and had played the position of catcher both at Linganore and at Mars Hill College. He enjoyed spending time at the beach.

Surviving, in addition to his parents, is a brother, Logan Andrew Murray of Mount Airy; paternal-grandparents, James Michael and Frances Arlene Murray of Mount Airy; maternal-grandparents, Herbert Lee and Mary Ellis Stonesifer of Mount Airy; uncles and aunts, Gary and Theresa Stonesifer of West Friendship, David and Lisa Murray of St. Augustine, Fla., and Christopher and Carole Murray of Mount Airy; and several cousins.

A funeral service will be held at 11 a.m. Friday at Calvary United Methodist Church, 405 S. Main Street, Mount Airy, with Pastor Dennis Yokum officiating.

Interment will be in Pine Grove Cemetery.

The family will receive friends at Haight Funeral Home and Chapel, 6416 Sykesville Road, Sykesville from 3 to 5 and 7 to 9 p.m. Thursday.

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the Ryan P. Murray Baseball Scholarship Fund, payable to Pershing LLC, FBO Ryan P. Murray Baseball Scholarship Fund, 50 Carroll Creek Way, Suite 240, Frederick, MD 21701.

Online condolences may be made at www.haightfuneralhome.com.
You can get a sense for how much people lived him and what a wonderful, fun-loving person he was by reading the comments his friends have left on his myspace page:

http://www.myspace.com/murray13

Al, I am sorry for the loss you feel for one of "yours". My sympathy and prayers for this family as they must feel such pain that is just unimaginable by me. May they feel the comfort of their friends and God's arms around them. May Ryan rest in peace.

This is hard. I feel compelled to write something, but words do not come.

Rick,

Thank you for that story. The image of Ryan standing there in his gear, dirt on his face and sweat dripping from his chin, is so vivid right now. And I can so clearly him uttering that phrase, "Coach, I bat 8th" that I want to turn around and look.

I'm at work trying to get through this, but the emotion comes in waves. I'll be OK for a couple hours, then I'll think of him or read some of the memorials on Facebook, Myspace, or now, right here on the HS Baseball web, and lose it.

The hardest part has been waiting to tell Corey, who was playing at Wofford when I found out. I got a call from his girlfriend, a UNCG softball player, who was on a bus heading back to school from Georgia Southern. She wanted to know if she should tell him or wait for me, but she also informed me that Corey's cell phone had died so neither of us could tell him until he contacted us. We decided that whomever Corey talked to first should go ahead and let him know.

Well, she finally got through to Corey on some other player's cell phone during his ride back to UNCG. Corey could not finish the call, so the other player had to pick it up to find out what was going on.

Not being there to hold him and comfort him has been almost unbearable. But he will be home tonight and we will hug extra long, and we will talk, and we will hug some more. But, Ryan will not be coming home tonight and that pain is unfathomable!

I've read this thread several times, wanting to say something, but unable to do anything but break down in tears. I am so very very sad to hear this news, and send my deepest condolences to Ryan's family and friends. He sounds like a much-loved young man.

Julie

Not knowing what to say or how to say it makes it difficult to truly express the sympathies that one parent can feel for another. Know this: love them, care for them, and appreciate every moment that you can with your children every day.
I did not know Ryan, but know as a parent that this great loss will be felt for the rest of their lives. I offer my deepest sympathy and prayers to them.
To those that also knew and loved him, remember all of those good things and hold onto them as you grieve for this young man and his family.

I only talked to ryan once real breifly and he seemed like a great guy. I recall watching him play (I was on JV watching the Varsity play) and he was the type of guy who would "leave it all on the field". I heard about this the other day from a former teammate and have been pretty shooken up about this as well

Stay strong Murray's we are here for you.

Mars Hill played today. It was a make up senior day (that we had gotten snowed out of a couple weeks ago)

They played for Ryan, his #13 painted in left field, on the hill in center R13M, as well as behind the plate. They won today by 13.

All the players wore black arm bands with R13M, and most I saw had a 13 or RM13 on their hat. Everyone loved Ryan. We had a crowd today, lots made their own shirts, many wearing Murray 13 on their backs, I heart #13, RPM 13 etc. There were not many dry eyes.

Thursday MHC is sending the team to MD. They are an amazing bunch of guys who are in such pain. I will say MHC has done alot for these guys, having counslors, meetings. Most of the guys seem to only want to talk with each other about this, and maybe their parents. That may change later.

For now they are going to say goodbye to their friend, their teammate, and hopefully begin to heal.

Al,

I fully understand, as I lost one of my former players a couple years back in a car crash.

I hope the authorities can find answers to all questions, not that it will bring Ryan back, but to give some form of understanding to his family and friends.

Sympathy to all.

CV

I was very impressed with the huge turn out to Ryan's funeral. It was literally standing room only. I wish somehow I could express my gratitude to Mars Hill College for providing the means for the entire team to come up and attend the funeral.

I was touched to see so many former players again. It was also neat to hear the various people come up and share their rememberances of their times with Ryan. The hard part for me is that it served as confirmation that he really is gone. Somehow I kept hoping all week that I'd get a call saying that it was all just a big mistake and that he was alright.

But the question that keeps running through my head is - how did this happen? It just makes no sense.

It never does make sense Ring.

My dad was a happy, go lucky guy, that everyone liked. He never let on that he wanted to move on.

The pain can be hidden and buried deep. Completers of this act feel that this will stop the pain.

As I mentioned in my previous post, afterwards, my family and I could collectively put the pieces together. Subtle mention of doing this on a hunting trip with me 3 years before, telling my mom he hurt so much he wished he wouldn't wake up one morning, etc...

No one knows, except for Ryan. And we would all love to have the opportunity to put our arm around him right now and let him know everything was OK and that we were here for him.