What are your goals? Your son's goals?

question came up in our beginning talks of recruiting. how far from home are you willing to go- just to make sure you can play baseball in college?

and one other- Are you willing to be a pitcher only and never bat or see the field in any other way?

Justbaseball these for me these are the most important and often not asked questions in the recruiting process!

These should be put somewhere here in this site.... maybe they are just have not toured it lately.

Outstanding lists and great additions. We continue to ask these questions daily . . . these forums have taught us their value.

Road trips for college tournaments/visits have been invaluable for us. 2013 is realizing that the whole "I'll go anywhere if they want me to play" has now become "a six hour drive is probably my limit."

And you know what? That's okay. Better to realize that now.

Yep, mine put a 4 hour range, of course he said then he added north carolina as a school he would like to be considered by as well (which is something like 500 miles! gotta love 16 yr olds)

"Are you prepared, mentally, to get on an airplane, alone, and fly to what might seem to be a distant place a world away from home, and not see your family or home for months on end in order to attend your dream school?"

One of the biggest questions we clarified with our son during his junior year. The answer was a resounding "yes!"

quote:

"Are you prepared, mentally, to get on an airplane, alone, and fly to what might seem to be a distant place a world away from home, and not see your family or home for months on end in order to attend your dream school?"

Great question!

I want to share an experience related to this with our younger son. We did, in fact, ask this question very seriously of our son as he decided between nearby schools and one a 2-hour plane ride away. He was adamant about the far away school and we thought he would be fine as he had taken a number of week long baseball or family trips on his own as he was growing up, including one out of the country.

But when the rubber met the road and we put him on that plane off to school...WE were feeling pretty sad. And after about a week and a half of him being there on his own...one Sunday night, in the dorm alone, assessing his situation...he made a call home with some comments that signaled to us that it was FINALLY hitting him just how 'on his own' he was. This was followed shortly thereafter with an illness that swept through his whole team...more to deal with...without mom there with the homemade chicken soup!

Did he get past it? Yes...school and practice have a way to keep you so busy you can't think about homesick much anymore...and on a business trip I saw him last week and he has adjusted nicely. It ended up being a little bump in the road, but the question posed above is very real and you need to be ready for it...both from your perspective and your son's.

quote:

Originally posted by justbaseball:

quote:

"Are you prepared, mentally, to get on an airplane, alone, and fly to what might seem to be a distant place a world away from home, and not see your family or home for months on end in order to attend your dream school?"

Great question!

I want to share an experience related to this with our younger son. We did, in fact, ask this question very seriously of our son as he decided between nearby schools and one a 2-hour plane ride away. He was adamant about the far away school and we thought he would be fine as he had taken a number of week long baseball or family trips on his own as he was growing up, including one out of the country.

But when the rubber met the road and we put him on that plane off to school...WE were feeling pretty sad. And after about a week and a half of him being there on his own...one Sunday night, in the dorm alone, assessing his situation...he made a call home with some comments that signaled to us that it was FINALLY hitting him just how 'on his own' he was. This was followed shortly thereafter with an illness that swept through his whole team...more to deal with...without mom there with the homemade chicken soup!

Did he get past it? Yes...school and practice have a way to keep you so busy you can't think about homesick much anymore...and on a business trip I saw him last week and he has adjusted nicely. It ended up being a little bump in the road, but the question posed above is very real and you need to be ready for it...both from your perspective and your son's.

Excellent story. It ties into another question: is this a suitcase college? Yes, you'll have 34 instant companions, but if everyone else leaves every weekend and/or break, will you be lonely even in your limited free time?

Justbaseball:
Although my son is only 13, I had this conversation with him only a month ago (What are your goals). I will attempt to explain. He has an extreme love for the game and sometimes spends more time than I feel is necessary at his age focused on base ball. For example, if you ask him if he would like to go to the batting cages or go to the mall… batting cage it is… and the list goes on. So anyhow, not being a base ball player (at least in the last 20 years) I have been trying to figure out what is going on in his little brain. I thought back to my childhood and remembered a conversation my Dad had with me when I was about 13/14. He was asking me what I wanted to do in life and what were my goals, where did I want to go to school and what did I want to do as far a profession is concerned. So I called my Dad and we talked about our conversation that took place almost 25 years ago and I decided it was time I had the same one with my Son.

Things I discovered while talking to my Son as a “young man” rather than just my Son. He wants to go to college, and would like to study “anything science, like forensics” (Really?). He said he wanted to play baseball through high school (OK). I asked him if he wanted to play in college or does that matter to you. He said he wanted to play in college, but right now he is just trying to get better (that explains him nagging me to take him to the field or cages daily).

Now he is a pretty good student, does his homework gets great grades, loves to read and plays in the orchestra. So I redirected the conversation and asked about what he REALLY wants to do when he grows up. Maybe be a teacher, physical therapist, etc? He is not too sure at this point and I can’t blame him. I didn’t exactly know when I was his age either. The conversation eventually became boring to him and started to come to an end. I did leave him with the same advice I was given when I was his age.

“Whatever you decide to do in life, make sure it is what YOU want to do because no one else is going to get up in the morning and do it for you”.

I learned a lot about my Son while having this conversation with him. He actually has goals, he has put some thought into things. At the age of 13 he is thinking about college and what areas to study. And I think the kid really likes baseball too… Good thing I have this site available to me.

quote:

"I'll go anywhere if they want me to play" has now become "a six hour drive is probably my limit."

I am not picking on the poster's answer, it just a bit ironic my son had the same response until the HC told him he would DH against lefties and he ultimatly decided he was ok with going across the country to play at the "right" school afterall.

As an aside to the list provided by justbaesball, as a parent you should be aware/understand that the answers to these questions can change over time especially once you kid has been on campus for awhile. Don't feel like you are a bad parent if you don't have answers to most of the questions, its very diffucult to have solid answers for many of the questions, some answers might seem obvious, while others will make you wonder if you have any idea of what the "right" school looks like. When confronted with reality your son's answers may change, it might turn out he is fine traveling 6 plus hours to play for the "right" program.

Two things parents have to remmeber when their son is selecting a college is ...

1) it's the kid's college and baseball experience, not theirs, and

2) there's a 99.9% chance he's going to need the education over baseball in four years.

I recently read 50% of D1 baseball recruits don't finish college and playing where they attended their freshman year. Making the right choice isn't easy.

Due to injuries my son missed the entire recruiting season. His senior year was fine for high school. But due to lack of physical rehab his college potential was questionable. He wasn't interested academically in the locals interested in him.

He was accepted to a major conference university academically. He tried to walk on with the idea he could transfer if he didn't make it. He was one of four asked to remain for a scrimmage before being told there weren't any roster spots. The coach is interested in him for next year. He knows he could transfer and play at any level below this conference. But academically, he's at the right college. In four years baseball won't matter. There's a decision to be made.

Note: I miss Sunday football, chicken wings and cheese steaks with my son. Late August he moved 625 miles in one direction and I moved 325 in another. My daughter went away 1050 miles to play softball.

quote:

At the age of 13 he is thinking about college and what areas to study.

Until high school my daughter wanted to be a teacher. When she was little she set up class with her stuffed animals and her little (five years younger) brother. She majored in forensic science. I joked she majored in watching too much tv (CSI). Now she's going to law school. You never know. Often they don't.

All of these are great questions. We - too -made a list of questions and requirements for the perfect college baseball experience. They were helpful in directing our efforts during the recruiting process. They were, however, helpful in making the final choice in a way that we never contemplated. Son wanted big conference , in the south, big school, "outdoors major", D1 with some chance of post season play. When he fell in love with a program that only matched his list on 1 criteria (it is a D1) and could not be shaken from his decision - we knew it was where he belonged. Use your lists and questions to help figure out what is important - but be careful not to rule out other programs without giving them consideration just because they dont fit.

CPnM,
Gotta make sacrifices if you want to surf. At this point I think mine is leaning toward letting the academics decide which college he attends after he transfers. I'm sure he's still hoping that he'll be able to play wherever that may be but the academics seem to be the priority.

quote:

Originally posted by CADad:
CPnM,
Gotta make sacrifices if you want to surf. .....

You can always long board thru the snow

* does he like the weather/seasons (if a kid is from southern cal, will he like the northeast). * will he room with only athletes (will his entire social world be athletes) or will he live with regular students. *do athletes take full course loads or only the NCAA minimum (this could mean an additional year in school to get a degree - without any schollys to help with the costs). * what is the programs track record for kids (a) graduating and (b) getting into grad schools (if that is the path). But, I think that it takes a 100% committment to baseball to have a shot at the dream (pro ball). While the questions are legitimate (especially since the overwhelming number will not have a pro career), the planning for a future outside of baseball necessarily hedges on the baseball side of the equation. (We hedged.)

Great set of questions Goosegg!

This comment caught my eye:

quote:

But, I think that it takes a 100% commitment to baseball to have a shot at the dream (pro ball).

Many of us agree that is the "dream" and even the goal. But is it a realistic dream/goal for most? Is it worth the "100% commitment to baseball" -with a sometimes necessary simultaneous reduction in commitment to school or perhaps preferred major- to chase a dream/goal that will work out (sustainable pro career) for only the tiniest of student athletes?

No right answer. But one I think we could all do our sons' a favor by asking ourselves.

When your son was 2 years old, would you have been prouder calling him a 'future doctor/teacher/lawyer/engineer' or a 'future baseball player?' Just something to think about.

Goosegg,
I have to support justbaseball on the issue/question posed about college baseball and 100% commitment.
That really strikes a nerve. What great input!
To answer/address your question, all I can say is I wish I knew then what I know now.
With that experience in mind, my bottom line feeling about this issue to discuss with the player and decide is if the player is 100% committed to baseball, he should sign with MLB, if he is drafted.
To my way of thinking, college baseball and the college coaches who do it best create the environment and demand where the player/athlete learns to become disciplined in ways that involve more than baseball.
That mental discipline is to be 100% in the classroom when not on the field.
When involved in baseball, that commitment is also 100% effort.
If professional baseball is the dream and college is the route to be selected, I think the questions to be asked which would help your son and your family appreciate the issue best would include the communication/expectation that most student athletes cannot do baseball 100% and succeed in a college classroom. Some can. Most cannot.
It is a wonderful route to set expectations that at the end of 3-4 years, he has or is very close to his degree, he has done well in the classroom because he gave 100% there, and his 100% effort on the field created his opportunity to continue playing and have business opportunities outside of playing, when the last college out is recorded.

I happen to agree with justbaseball also. As parents we convinced our son to hedge. He wasn't even offered school $$$ after the draft so the "all in" theory just wasn't something the adults could let an 18 yr old do. But in speaking with scouts (and they have their own baseball slanted views), they all say that that committment is what really separates equally talented kids. (how the scouts determine if the player has that "committment" is unknown.) We (as a family) decided to go to a lesser baseball school, but also sacrificed the ideal major in the equation. No right answer; also many kids who will eventually play proball were not drafted out of HS and therefore do not get a choice.

THis is a great discussion with some really great points all around. Goosegg those are some very familiar questions that were thrown around our dinner table a couple years ago. As infielddad said: "all I can say is I wish I knew then what I know now" because I would have slept alot better!

Frankly we didn't know some of the answers until he got to college with regard to the weather and social questions. Son is hedged 99.9% to a life outside of baseball not because he wants to, but because he knows he will not have the physical attributes (bad genes!) or job skills to compete at the next level. He thinks like an engineer, and his feelings are buried way below facts and truth. He knew going into college his best chance for life success was through academics/education, but he wanted to play college baseball because he loves the game.

I agree you have to be 100% committed to baseball to have a shot at the dream, just as you would in any profession be it policeman, fireman, doctor, lawyer or engineer.

Thought I'd offer up another experience related to the '100% committed to baseball' comments.

Some of you know our older son played at Stanford. Was drafted out of HS, turned down a fair amount of money as many Stanford kids do...not a million bucks, but a good amount by most standards.

Between sophomore and junior year he suffered a pretty serious accident while pitching in Cape Cod (line drive to the face). It took him about half of the next season to work his way back into the rotation regularly (starter for last 5 weeks or so of season), but was drafted again...middle round...again didn't sign.

He didn't sign, in part, because the Stanford coaches met with him and us to say how much they wanted him back and how important he would be to their weekend rotation...and they thought with him back they had a shot at Omaha (something they hadn't accomplished in 5 years).

So he went back...best single decision he/we ever made. Fantastic year, Saturday starter all year, all Pac-10, went to Omaha and got a "W" on TV over Miami.

So what did the scouts say now? To all of our surprise...'Are you really committed to baseball young man?' 'I mean after all, you've been drafted twice before and didn't sign.' 'We're just wondering if you even wanna play pro baseball?' ....and on and on and on.

He even hung up on one scout (bad idea, but hopefully you get the frustration by this point) during the draft who called one more time to ask if he really would sign if he was drafted again.

A complete misinterpretation of events by the scouts...yet it probably hurt our son in the draft.

No regrets, just trying to illustrate another piece of the puzzle.

As far as the 100% commitment. Life is a compromise. I am 100% committed to my family and sometimes I work on Saturdays. I am 100% committed to my job and sometimes I leave work early. I am 100% committed to staying healthy and sometimes I miss going to the gym.

Same thing with baseball/college. You can be 100% committed to playing baseball and still be in college. Will you be as good as a player had you gone in the draft? Maybe yes - maybe no. Many kids are not even close to being physically developed at 18 and are not ready for the demands of pro ball. Waiting an additional 2-3 years allow them the time to physically develop.

Maybe a player will have a better mental outlook by broadening his perspective in college, and maybe not. It has been said that the pro game is more about the mental approach than the physical, (assuming you have the physical skills) Many 18 YO are just not mentally developed to handle the demands of 100+ games.

So I am not sure the answer is the same for every player. Some should go straight in the draft and others should wait. You have the “Stanford type” athletes who can play at the highest levels academically and athletically, and the “Cal State Fullerton type” that may be spending more time on the baseball field than in the classroom. (please CSF alum don’t start shooting arrows at me it is to make a point) There are plenty of options in between.

I think the questions that justbaseball started in this thread are excellent and as RJM pointed out the odds are that a player is not going to be playing pro ball long enough to make a career out of it, so plan out your compromise as best you can and the put 100% into it once you make your decision.

Great thread!

quote:

as RJM pointed out the odds are that a player is not going to be playing pro ball long enough to make a career out of it, so plan out your compromise as best you can and the put 100% into it once you make your decision.

Boy, there is a wealth of awfully good and practical information/questions coming from this thread.
Thanks to everyone who is taking the time to post their thoughts and experiences and questions. Good stuff.
Almost reminds me of the good ole days on the HSBBW.
justbb is being a bit modest. While his oldest started the 2008 season as the Saturday guy, he had, I believe, 6 or 7 consecutive Friday starts. To my recall, all, or all but one, was a complete game effort.
On the topic of being 100% committed, and "planning the compromises," I think this may well vary from player to player, major to major, parent to parent and family to family.
For anyone who heard our son's interview on LTB, even though he went the D3 route,his responses to CD and JH were clear cut and emphatic in describing his mind-set and goal.
That goal, that mind-set was to be playing in MLB. Getting drafted, getting a spot on a Milb roster, starting in Milb only provided the path. Nothing short of MLB was "okay" in his mind. There was no compromise in his mind-set or attitude.
Well, multiple shoulder surgeries ended his quest prematurely, not his ability on a baseball field. Was that time challenging mentally and emotionally? Absolutely.
But along the path, he got his degree. Completed his BA in 4 years at a rigorous academic school, even taking 19 units the second semester of his senior year, while having his very best season.
Did we as parents watch cautiously along his college path and Summer Leagues as his passion/desire hunger and effort on the field flourished? Absolutely.
Did we ever raise questions to him about the goal he set for MLB? Nope. I think we only discussed it a few times.
Should we have done that? I don't think he would have listened if we did, but that is a different question.
What we did, along with and sometimes through his coaches, was provide oversight on the academic side to make sure he was doing everything to graduate in 4 years, do well in the classroom, and be ready with his degree to move on if/when baseball ended.
Was this the best way? I would wonder if it would have been had his major been in pre-med or engineering, but I am not completely sure.
We talk to Stanford players and many of them graduate with double majors, often times in less than 4 years. I listened to "9" speak last Spring. What I found intriguing was his discussion that whatever expectations he might set for highly motivated student-athletes, they will find the ways to achieve them...and he sets them very high because he knows most won't make a living in MLB.
So, to come full circle, in planning "your" compromise, I wonder if the "compromise" and "planning"is different for the student/athlete than the parent, and perhaps different from player to player and parent to parent.
Can the player have a mind-set starting with compromise? I bet some could.
As I said earlier, for our son, I am just not sure.
One thing we do know: the entire experience helped him find his passion.
He is now on the verge of completing his Masters in Coaching Education in combination with coaching Fall Ball, teaching 2 classes per week, taking his Masters class, monitoring early morning lifting and evening study hall and having every weekend(including two 4 day trips for the AZ classics) traveling to scout and recruit.
I am not sure we were very good at "planning" his compromises, or if that was needed, but I didn't know that at the time.

infielddad,

Happy to see your son enjoying himself and moving forward from his playing days.He is lucky to be able to stay in the game he loves.He sounds like a great kid.I havent had time to listen to his radio broadcast,but am going to archive it today as I am home.

Nice that he achieved his dreams, overcame adversity with the injury and is going after it.

Thats what its all about.

Very interesting and relevant topic to where my son has been and is at in his journey. I hesitate to lay out what I am about to in this post, because I have Karma concerns and if son finds out physical harm concerns. But hey, I think his perspective is beneficial to those just starting their college pursuit so here goes.

My son has worked very hard on the baseball field from a very young age to today. Like most on here, he has dedicated himself summer, spring and fall and voluntarily given up time with cousins, his sister and his friends to pursue becoming the best ball player he can. Now could he work harder at it and spend more time on the field? I think that answer is always yes.

Now I want to share an article the school paper did on him last year to give you his own personal perspective on this academic/athlete balance issue. I share this because it is who he really is:


Spartan Article

His dual academic/athletic dedication did not go unnoticed:

Academic

Athletic

As some of you are aware, University of Tampa is a school that generally fields very competitive teams. They have their fair share of drafted players and several free agent signs, but the coach indicates to the team every year that the road is hard for a player to make it.

I believe in my son’s mind he desperately wants to have his MILB opportunity, but even to his parents he has always outwardly hedged his bets verbally and demonstrates it with the way he approaches his academics. By nature of being in Florida and catching some very upside pitchers, he has had several looks along the way. But who really knows in the end. I have seen pain in those who put their eggs all in one basket, it is not pretty.

To those who ponder the academic side and wonder if it can be done successfully in conjunction with baseball? In Adam’s case I believe it is working out just as he planned.

Nice stuff.Very Nice.

Nice to see FF son on the all team list as well.

Adam is an inspiration! He is gracious, kind, friendly, intense, BIG, effective, fun to watch and a stable force behind the dish. His academic accomplishments are envious to those not quite as focused.
What a great guy and I know that Backstop-17 is a proud dad, he has every right to be! I am proud to know him and watch his work ethic play out.
It is amazing to me that he has had the ability to manage his time to achieve excellence both on the field and off!

quote:

Originally posted by like2rake:
"Are you prepared, mentally, to get on an airplane, alone, and fly to what might seem to be a distant place a world away from home, and not see your family or home for months on end in order to attend your dream school?"

One of the biggest questions we clarified with our son during his junior year. The answer was a resounding "yes!"

We asked my son the same question when he went pro out of HS and his answer was the same.... It turned out to be MUCH harder than he ever imagined !

Great Stuff Backstop-17! Good luck to your son this coming season.

Good topic JBB, lots of good stuff here.

Thanks.