I've heard of a few of these nightmare scenarios in the past. I've also heard advice from several folks that I consider to be good parents.
The advice I've heard is, 'quitting is probably not the best choice\ quitting is the easiest choice, quitting doesn't help you meet your goal - the goal was to play some baseball.
As a parent keep trying not to poison the kids' relationship with the coach.. it could turn around in a matter of moments, but will be harder if your advice is that the guy is an idiot (sounds like he is but the kids can figure that out without any help)
best wishes, try to find positives, and good luck
(from the coaching standpoint: if we are losing games, how the heck can we find time to run even one mile... we've got pitching, fielding, catching and hitting to work on.
Please read my post again. Did I say I agree with this approach? Did I say that I agree with a coach using conditioning as a way to improve his teams baseball abilities? Did I say that I believe you should talk down to your players as a way to motivate them?
The point I was trying to make is clear in the post if you read it. I was offering another way to look at this and possible ways as a player to deal with this.
I have used conditioning as a way to instill mental toughness and team unity. But not during the season , during off season work outs. I do not believe in demeaning players or talking down to them. I treat my players with respect and I get respect in return.
The point I was trying to make is this. Your son is going to have fires in his life. In his baseball life he is going to be faced with fires. If you become his fireman and are constantly running around putting out his fires for him you will not end up with a son that is capable of putting out his own fires. And further yet you will have a son that does not have the ability or the toughness to deal with the fires that can not be put out.
If the coach is abusive and putting kids health at risk then he needs to be removed from his posistion. We have no idea if that is the case. If a coach is making them run five miles and that is putting their health at risk there health is already at risk if this puts it at risk. Five miles? Seriously thats nothing.
My off season workouts are brutal and they are voluntary. Flip tractor tires up a hill. Pulling cut off telephone poles. Core work that makes them wilt. Running the football bleachers with bricks in their hands. Running gasers. And much more. All designed to challenge them and make them better. And designed to build team toughness which it does.
Again I have no idea if this coach is putting kids health at risk and is abusive to his players. What may be abusive and putting a kids health at risk for one player and parent may be viewed as totally different for another player and parent.
And some kids puke when they run 2 gasers. And some would rather swallow it than let you know you got to them.
The point I was trying to make is clear in the post if you read it. I was offering another way to look at this and possible ways as a player to deal with this.
I have used conditioning as a way to instill mental toughness and team unity. But not during the season , during off season work outs. I do not believe in demeaning players or talking down to them. I treat my players with respect and I get respect in return.
The point I was trying to make is this. Your son is going to have fires in his life. In his baseball life he is going to be faced with fires. If you become his fireman and are constantly running around putting out his fires for him you will not end up with a son that is capable of putting out his own fires. And further yet you will have a son that does not have the ability or the toughness to deal with the fires that can not be put out.
If the coach is abusive and putting kids health at risk then he needs to be removed from his posistion. We have no idea if that is the case. If a coach is making them run five miles and that is putting their health at risk there health is already at risk if this puts it at risk. Five miles? Seriously thats nothing.
My off season workouts are brutal and they are voluntary. Flip tractor tires up a hill. Pulling cut off telephone poles. Core work that makes them wilt. Running the football bleachers with bricks in their hands. Running gasers. And much more. All designed to challenge them and make them better. And designed to build team toughness which it does.
Again I have no idea if this coach is putting kids health at risk and is abusive to his players. What may be abusive and putting a kids health at risk for one player and parent may be viewed as totally different for another player and parent.
And some kids puke when they run 2 gasers. And some would rather swallow it than let you know you got to them.
Off season workouts are different than in season conditioning. 5 miles will take the team at least 40 minutes. What team conditions for 40 minutes during the season. When do they practice baseball? Is a five mile jog going to help them win the next game. Probably not. Now, if a complete lack of focus is the problem during a particular game, than possibly a "disciplinary" conditioning session may get their attention. But if running 5 miles is a common practice, like the poster suggests, than the coach's message gets dilluted and ultimately the players lose respect for the coach and tune him out. Probably why some guys on this team have already quit. I am not for quitting by any means.
"Never give in! Never give in! Never, never, never, never - in nothing great or small, large or petty. Never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense."
~ Winston Churchill
~ Winston Churchill
BOF I spent so much time on two posts and you said it all in only a couple of seconds.
Something else I was thinking about. The parent mentions the fact her son plays on a great summer showcase team. It's not like this is his only baseball experience of the year. But it could be the most beneficial learning experience of the year. There are all types of coaches. And there are all types of baseball experiences. There will come a time when the parent has absolutely no control over the situation their son is in. The player will have to learn how to deal with it. Some times the player will have to buck up and do what he has to do to survive.
Running five miles and being screamed at may not be beneficial at all. But learning how to cope with a situation like this and deal with a situation like this is. Or you can quit like some of the other players did.
Something else I was thinking about. The parent mentions the fact her son plays on a great summer showcase team. It's not like this is his only baseball experience of the year. But it could be the most beneficial learning experience of the year. There are all types of coaches. And there are all types of baseball experiences. There will come a time when the parent has absolutely no control over the situation their son is in. The player will have to learn how to deal with it. Some times the player will have to buck up and do what he has to do to survive.
Running five miles and being screamed at may not be beneficial at all. But learning how to cope with a situation like this and deal with a situation like this is. Or you can quit like some of the other players did.
My major question is have you seen the practices in person?
This may be a guy that thinks he is R. Lee Ermey's character from Full Metal Jacketor he may just be a strict disciplinarian who has called the kids on goofing off one too many times. I'm not saying your son is lying but kids tend to exaggerate a bit, especially when they are forced to do things they don't like to do. The coach may be yelling about some kids and their lack of motivation and telling them that maybe they should quit but I don't think his team will be around very long if he is as bad as advertised.
I would attend, clandestine if able and actually see what is going on before I would go to the board.
This may be a guy that thinks he is R. Lee Ermey's character from Full Metal Jacketor he may just be a strict disciplinarian who has called the kids on goofing off one too many times. I'm not saying your son is lying but kids tend to exaggerate a bit, especially when they are forced to do things they don't like to do. The coach may be yelling about some kids and their lack of motivation and telling them that maybe they should quit but I don't think his team will be around very long if he is as bad as advertised.
I would attend, clandestine if able and actually see what is going on before I would go to the board.
Coaches like this make me long for the days of a good old fashioned lynch mob .
What would I do? If like you my son was already halfway through his junior year I would grin and bear it for one more season. And I would have him in a good summer and fall program.
I agree with cball in the last post. Finish the season. I would follow that up with a professional letter to the proper school authority that outlines the problems, and let them know that your son will not be back next year if this coach continues. If the coach is as bad as you say, I would think they will get 10 such letters and do the right thing.
If your son started as a freshman, you are at a smaller school and your son will have already gotten the recognition needed to play in college.
My real problem with this coaches actions is not so much your kid, but the kids that aren't wanting to play at the next level. The posters here talk about how this will separate the tough ones that can go on to college and pro ball, because they have kids in that category. But if you focus on the level they are playing at now and realize that most of those kids are finishing their baseball in high school, this coach is doing a huge disservice to the majority of this team.
If your son started as a freshman, you are at a smaller school and your son will have already gotten the recognition needed to play in college.
My real problem with this coaches actions is not so much your kid, but the kids that aren't wanting to play at the next level. The posters here talk about how this will separate the tough ones that can go on to college and pro ball, because they have kids in that category. But if you focus on the level they are playing at now and realize that most of those kids are finishing their baseball in high school, this coach is doing a huge disservice to the majority of this team.
Tom, personally I can't stand them either. And its a lot of fun to sit in the dugout the entire game and never say a word to my players but "Good job." "Nice effort." "Don't worry about it." While this coach is screaming and hollering. And then shake his hand after we have handed to them.
Coach your kids. Teach your kids. Inspire your kids. Make them believe they are special because they are. Give them respect and show them respect and you will have their respect. Demand greatness and expect greatness. And give it to them in return.
Coach your kids. Teach your kids. Inspire your kids. Make them believe they are special because they are. Give them respect and show them respect and you will have their respect. Demand greatness and expect greatness. And give it to them in return.
I like Coach May's answers.....Kind of along the lines I tell my asst. coaches.
We don't yell and scream at kids if they don't perform. We coach them up to do it.....If they still will not/can not, we coach someone else.
We don't yell and scream at kids if they don't perform. We coach them up to do it.....If they still will not/can not, we coach someone else.
I hate it when I sound like my dad. There's no walking barefoot in three feet of snow, uphill, both ways, but .....
How many parents here played for coaches who were horse's rears thirty years ago and never told your parents what crazy stuff went on in practice? Or if you did they shrugged and the conversation was over? Did your parents even ask what the coach was like?
The only time I ever complained about a coach in high school was after a getting tied in a game we should have won, we ran the stadium (52 rows) in full pads and helmets for two hours on Monday. When I said something at the dinner table because I was exhausted, my father told me don't tie teams you should beat and you won't have a problem. Problem solved.
At fourteen when I complained about my daddyball Babe Ruth coach my dad asked me if I was going to whine and quit or shut up and play.
How many parents here played for coaches who were horse's rears thirty years ago and never told your parents what crazy stuff went on in practice? Or if you did they shrugged and the conversation was over? Did your parents even ask what the coach was like?
The only time I ever complained about a coach in high school was after a getting tied in a game we should have won, we ran the stadium (52 rows) in full pads and helmets for two hours on Monday. When I said something at the dinner table because I was exhausted, my father told me don't tie teams you should beat and you won't have a problem. Problem solved.
At fourteen when I complained about my daddyball Babe Ruth coach my dad asked me if I was going to whine and quit or shut up and play.
When I was on the high school track team, we were required to run five miles, then a quarter mile for time. And ins and outs. And I'm a girl (or was - I'm a little old for that description now). If we were doing this runnning in August in Texas, it might have been a health issue, but it was spring. I never felt at risk. You have to put it in context to determine if it is truly a health concern, which is very difficult to do on this forum.
As a general premise, one of the great gifts sports gives to our kids is a chance to practice what life will throw at them later - failures, weak teammates, bad coaches (or bosses). Sounds like a life lesson.
As a general premise, one of the great gifts sports gives to our kids is a chance to practice what life will throw at them later - failures, weak teammates, bad coaches (or bosses). Sounds like a life lesson.
My first year of HS baseball, we had the football coach take the job. He had his football players practice baseball, while the others ran laps and did pushups(I was one of the others). I lasted a few weeks, then quit and got a job. I'll never know how I would have done on the HS baseball field nor how much less trouble I would have gotten into if I had stuck with baseball.
My parents liked the fact I got a job and got on with my life instead of playing games like baseball.
My parents liked the fact I got a job and got on with my life instead of playing games like baseball.
RJM
That thinking does not work anymore !!!---now the parents run to the AD or the School Superintendent with the "My SON MY SON BS"
That thinking does not work anymore !!!---now the parents run to the AD or the School Superintendent with the "My SON MY SON BS"
Folks, you must be able to recognize the difference between "toughing it out" and putting up with abusive behavior.
Running 1 mile is toughing it out (this is not the track team we are talking about).
Running 5 miles during the offseason after building up from 1, then 2, then 3, then 4 miles is toughing it out.
Getting yelled at is toughing it out.
Running 5 miles once after poor attitudes is toughing it out.
Running 5 miles (for a baseball team) during the season repeatedly and until one of them quits is insane.
The coach is nuts. The coach is not going to be building a winning program at your school.
I am stunned and shocked that any coach here would condone this behavior.
Running 1 mile is toughing it out (this is not the track team we are talking about).
Running 5 miles during the offseason after building up from 1, then 2, then 3, then 4 miles is toughing it out.
Getting yelled at is toughing it out.
Running 5 miles once after poor attitudes is toughing it out.
Running 5 miles (for a baseball team) during the season repeatedly and until one of them quits is insane.
The coach is nuts. The coach is not going to be building a winning program at your school.
I am stunned and shocked that any coach here would condone this behavior.
Been there, done that. Get thru it! You will both survive it and he will have some experience to fall back on when his next coach does something similar. No doubt you are concerned for your son and you are inviolved in his life because you are a good mom. Just being there for him will carry him thru these tough times.
GED10DaD
GED10DaD
I agree with the posters that say stay tough, become stronger and learn from the experience. I like coaches who demand a lot from their players.
But, IMO, a coach who is always screaming at his players, puts them down, and does more punishing than coaching will eventually lose his players. They will tune him out and lose their desire to perform for this coach.
Whether a player is 10, 17 or 27, he also needs positive reinforcement and recognition of his hard work.
But, IMO, a coach who is always screaming at his players, puts them down, and does more punishing than coaching will eventually lose his players. They will tune him out and lose their desire to perform for this coach.
Whether a player is 10, 17 or 27, he also needs positive reinforcement and recognition of his hard work.
quote:Originally posted by fillsfan:
I like coaches who demand a lot from their players.
But, IMO, a coach who is always screaming at his players, puts them down, and does more punishing than coaching will eventually lose his players. They will tune him out and lose their desire to perform for this coach.
Whether a player is 10, 17 or 27, he also needs positive reinforcement and recognition of his hard work.
Right on the money here. Most good coaches don't operate that way. They know what do do to get the most out of their players. Berrating them and putting them down is counterproductive and just maybe they need to look in the mirror and see where the real problem lies.
When my son played, he thought his practices weren't tough enough and always liked tough coaches because it kept those players who weren't too serious on their toes, but at the same time, he tuned out the coaches when they went on their mindless put-downs that were doing nothing to help the baseball team. His teams never got much positive feedback from the coaches. That's the way they operated. It is what it is.
Play for him or don't.
Are you really going to form an opinion based off of information gleaned from anonymous internet posters?
Are you really going to form an opinion based off of information gleaned from anonymous internet posters?