What is best way to tell a coach your not attending there school

If you do not want to burn a bridge I would call them and talk personally to the head coach or the coach that recruited you. Thank them for the opportunity and let them know why you chose another school over theirs.

Our experience, make a call, especially if you have been in phone contact with the coach, made a visit, etc. My son emailed two-one sent a short email back sounding irritated and the other never even acknowledged his email. The one call he did make, the coach was very appreciative and wished him all the best. That coach also told him that he was impressed that he made the call.

You have to call and let them know that you made a decision. If for no reason reason than to hear their responses. In the boys case, reponses ranged from. Unbelievably gracious and wished him the best on his decision to some real Jekyll and Hyde types.

“Baseball is life.”

Take the opportunity to increase your life experience by making what is a very difficult phone call to those who courted you in person/by phone. Rejecting a person who took the time to look at/evaluate/court you is not easy; but in your life you will probably do that many times. So learn how to deliver bad news – respectfully and with confidence. Better learn now in the beginning of your adult years than later when much more may be on the line.

In Yiddish, it’s called “being a mensch.” Basically, it’s “do unto others . . . “ In baseball parlance, it’s “manning up.”

So, congrats on your obvious success! And give the coaches the time and attention they deserve for taking their time and attention to offer you an opportunity to follow your dream in their program.

Some of the conversations may be difficult (taking rejection may be hard for some); but the overwhelming will be positive and you will feel gratified and satisfied that you reached out personally to those who reached out personally to you.

I had junior phone the coaches and tell them, "Coach, thanks very much for recruiting me, but I've made a decision to attend WhatsAMattaU." The coach would politely wish good luck, end of call.

I thought it was important for Junior to learn how to give someone less than favorable news. Anyone can deliver good news, learning how to talk about bad news is a skill that everyone should develop.

Great advice. I also advocate letting them know. Many coaches will not do this when they have moved on but I believe the player should do it for the higher principles involved and for the reasons already mentioned. Some coaches wished my son well. Some tried to continue recruiting him, and one hung up the phone. There were no hard feelings on our part as we felt it was better to take the high road. I should add my son was initially reluctant to do it but I am glad he agreed to do things my "suggested" way in this case.

One final thing is that I am not entirely sure that you actively need to contact them. When they contact you, then you can give them the bad news. For the ones that don't call anymore, that means they have moved on and decided that they did not need to inform you of the bad news. Nonetheless, I still believe it is best to let the "interested" parties know.

I had my son do the same thing with calling to let coaches know. The conversations where very short. It was funny how one of the calls went -- a coach called my son on his cell when we were on the way to a tournament game and I was driving and heard the conversation. My son had committed the night before. He told the coach the bad news, he then thought he lost the call due to a bad connection, but soon realized the coach had hung up the phone on him. Fortunatly most coaches politely wished him luck. It was also funny that a few coaches continued to call into the fall even after my son told them that he committed.

Thanks all, I guess I will have to Man up and make the calls.. It's funny how scared I was to answer the phone when the coaches first start calling me. My Dad looked at Me like I was nuts and said "You've been waiting for this for Years, and now you don't want to answer the Darn phone" this has been a great site and help

quote:

Originally posted by birdman14:
I had my son do the same thing with calling to let coaches know. The conversations where very short. It was funny how one of the calls went -- a coach called my son on his cell when we were on the way to a tournament game and I was driving and heard the conversation. My son had committed the night before. He told the coach the bad news, he then thought he lost the call due to a bad connection, but soon realized the coach had hung up the phone on him. Fortunatly most coaches politely wished him luck. It was also funny that a few coaches continued to call into the fall even after my son told them that he committed.

While it may be difficult for the young man to tell a coach that he will not be attending their school it is the best way to handle the situation. If the coach acts like a fool you know that you made the correct decision.
When you say that a few coaches continued to call, that is their job. Until a player signs with a school they are free to recruit and often change their mind after making a verbal commitment. If more college baseball coaches recruited like the football & basketball programs at major universities you would see more baseball players change their mind three or four times after the kid gave his verbal commitment.

Life is about networking within your environment and the only way you learn how to use those networking skills is to apply them. Give a call. This is a no-lose situation where the kid gains communication skills experience, gains respect within the baseball community for his honesty/integrity, or if he gets the cold shoulder he'll get a first hand look on how he should NOT deal with people.

BG: You've gotten some great advice to call the coaches and tell them personally. They've put a good amount of time into trying to recruit you (and perhaps had to do some negotiating with others on their staff). Letting them know personally is the right thing to do.

But knowing that it's the right thing to do may not take away your nerves. A good rule of thumb is to keep it simple and short. The coach will likely ask why you've chosen a school over theirs. Give them one or two solid reasons and leave it at that. Sometimes our nerves cause us to talk too much and try to fill silences or pauses in conversation. Problem is, the more you talk, the more it may sound like you aren't really convinced yourself. So resist the temptation to overexplain and keep it simple. If a coach reacts poorly, just repeat your main reason and say thank you for his considerations.

Oh and congratulations!

cbg:

Thinking about it, you bring up a good point. I'm sure a good recruiting cordinator or coach might be able to help change a kids mind by still showing interest, if he was getting "wet feet" about his decision. Sometimes after a little time passes and you might change your mind. One RC called more or less like clockwork every 3 weeks until my son signed in November.

I think it depends on the nature of the relationship you had prior to the time when you commit and need to tell the others.

If all of your contact with someone was via e-mail or texting, then I think a polite note sent by e-mail is sufficient. "I want to thank you for the interest you have shown in me. I am very impressed with your school and your program. After carefully considering my options, though, I have decided to commit to XYX University. Thank you again for your interest, and I hope I see you again out on the ball field!"

Now, if this was a matter of junior days, phone calls, and other close contact, then I think sending an e-mail is kind of chickening out on the best way to handle yourself as a young adult. Best in those situations to make a personal call to your recruiting coach contact, then maybe follow up with an e-mail (cc'ed to all the coaches you dealt with) confirming the discussion and again thanking them for their help through the process.

There are certain guys who attract a lot of attention, and a lot of it is just e-mails and text messages from out of the blue, e.g., after an appearance at PG National. I don't think you have to telephone everyone who ever tried to convince you to come visit.

One thing kids need to understand. Texting is not good enough for this situation. I know the kids will want to argue on that. Put your foot down.

I can just see it. "cmmtd 2 xyz. Thx."

When you faced that team later on, watch out for fastballs up and in.

Calling is the best way to go. Some coaches will be jerks, but that just helps you affirm you made the right choice when comes to their program At the same time I would not be a jerk to the coach not taking the news well. I was a little surprised by the two coaches that were jerks to to my son.

Most coaches will be nice guys, ask a few questions and you never know, they might help you out someday because they'll remember you manned up and were polite/professional on the phone with them.

I agree the "phone call" is the best answer but I also agree with Midlo Dad and Cleveland Dad in responding by phone to those "interested parties" and to respond via email to other semi-intrested schools. I felt as if my son received a lot of "mass mailings" during his recruiting phase. I'm sure many of the coaches wouldn't recognize his name if he called or emailed them ---- so they were ignored. I remember his first recruiting letter and his question ==== "Where is Slippery Rock"?