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The author of this article just knocked this out of the park. He is right on so many levels it's not funny. Education is in a dark dark place right now and I don't see it getting any better anytime soon.
What a tough job! I have two sisters and one sister-in-law who currently teach at various levels (grade school, high school, and college).
They are all well-respected in their profession (award-winning, even) and care deeply about their students. But when I ask them questions about some of the conditions they face, and they tell me, I almost shudder...
From 2nd- and 3rd-grade students who were born to drug addicted mothers and have extreme behavioral problems and learning difficulties...
To college students who enter freshman year of JUCO unable to read at the 6th grade level...
What a difficult job! I sincerely applaud and thank those who not only are willing to do it, but dedicate themselves to doing the very best that they can for their students.
Julie
They are all well-respected in their profession (award-winning, even) and care deeply about their students. But when I ask them questions about some of the conditions they face, and they tell me, I almost shudder...
From 2nd- and 3rd-grade students who were born to drug addicted mothers and have extreme behavioral problems and learning difficulties...
To college students who enter freshman year of JUCO unable to read at the 6th grade level...
What a difficult job! I sincerely applaud and thank those who not only are willing to do it, but dedicate themselves to doing the very best that they can for their students.
Julie
Great article!
It's all part of the "pussification of America"
No need to take responsibility for anything anymore.
Either sue somebody or wait for the government to bail me out.
Our current administration is certainly not helping matters. Instead of encouraging independence and personal responsibility, they are coddling everyone so that they will again vote for the free ride.
God help us all!
It's all part of the "pussification of America"
No need to take responsibility for anything anymore.
Either sue somebody or wait for the government to bail me out.
Our current administration is certainly not helping matters. Instead of encouraging independence and personal responsibility, they are coddling everyone so that they will again vote for the free ride.
God help us all!
Let me offer a contrarian view--without denying the existence of obnoxious helicopter parents who are blind to their children's faults and endeavor to protect them from the consequences of their actions.
This administrator conveys an attitude that is just as harmful to the educational environment: namely, teachers and principals who don't want to be accountable to the public they serve. They want parental participation when it's time to volunteer or raise money, but they don't want any light shown on their "zero tolerance" policies that criminalize or exaggerate minor youthful infractions and normal playfulness.
Schools impose many more suspensions and expulsions than schools did twenty or thirty years ago, and I have talked with a lot of parents whose decent kids ran afoul of invisible trip wires and found themselves embroiled in Kafka-esque proceedings.
One friend's son made a playful gesture to a friend involving a wink and a pistol gesture with his hand in imitation of some comedian. This was interpreted as a potential terrorist threat, and the parents found themselves up against an administration that was hostile to due process and ignored its own published disciplinary and appeal proceedings as it tried to steamroll toward a lengthy suspension.
Granted, I only know one side of this case, but these parents are not "helicopter parents." They had a realistic view of their kid and they generally expected him to clean up his own messes and pick himself up when he fell. Parents who see their kids' futures threatened by such outrages will shift into the protective "mama bear" mode. Those with the means to do so might "lawyer up." My friends didn't hire a lawyer, but they would have if they could have afforded it.
Like many things in life, this is a two-way street. Some administrators bring parental hostility and lawyer involvement upon themselves through their own capriciousness.
An administrator who is so embittered against parents probably should move on to another line of work.
This administrator conveys an attitude that is just as harmful to the educational environment: namely, teachers and principals who don't want to be accountable to the public they serve. They want parental participation when it's time to volunteer or raise money, but they don't want any light shown on their "zero tolerance" policies that criminalize or exaggerate minor youthful infractions and normal playfulness.
Schools impose many more suspensions and expulsions than schools did twenty or thirty years ago, and I have talked with a lot of parents whose decent kids ran afoul of invisible trip wires and found themselves embroiled in Kafka-esque proceedings.
One friend's son made a playful gesture to a friend involving a wink and a pistol gesture with his hand in imitation of some comedian. This was interpreted as a potential terrorist threat, and the parents found themselves up against an administration that was hostile to due process and ignored its own published disciplinary and appeal proceedings as it tried to steamroll toward a lengthy suspension.
Granted, I only know one side of this case, but these parents are not "helicopter parents." They had a realistic view of their kid and they generally expected him to clean up his own messes and pick himself up when he fell. Parents who see their kids' futures threatened by such outrages will shift into the protective "mama bear" mode. Those with the means to do so might "lawyer up." My friends didn't hire a lawyer, but they would have if they could have afforded it.
Like many things in life, this is a two-way street. Some administrators bring parental hostility and lawyer involvement upon themselves through their own capriciousness.
An administrator who is so embittered against parents probably should move on to another line of work.
quote:Originally posted by gitnby:
Great article!
It's all part of the "pussification of America"
No need to take responsibility for anything anymore.
Either sue somebody or wait for the government to bail me out.
Our current administration is certainly not helping matters. Instead of encouraging independence and personal responsibility, they are coddling everyone so that they will again vote for the free ride.
God help us all!
The ole BED game...
Blame
Ecuses
Denial
it sure isn't MY fault.
Remember watching an interview with then Georgetown basketball coach John Thompson when a grandma of a top notch recruit started rattling off her demands "if my grandson signs with you."
His response..."Why do you expect me to do that when you or his parents can't?"
Just like so many things today...
when the Federal government gets involved with good intentions, they seem to have a knack in accomplishing the opposite.
God help us...PLEASE!!
quote:Originally posted by Swampboy:
Let me offer a contrarian view--without denying the existence of obnoxious helicopter parents who are blind to their children's faults and endeavor to protect them from the consequences of their actions.
This administrator conveys an attitude that is just as harmful to the educational environment: namely, teachers and principals who don't want to be accountable to the public they serve. They want parental participation when it's time to volunteer or raise money, but they don't want any light shown on their "zero tolerance" policies that criminalize or exaggerate minor youthful infractions and normal playfulness.
Schools impose many more suspensions and expulsions than schools did twenty or thirty years ago, and I have talked with a lot of parents whose decent kids ran afoul of invisible trip wires and found themselves embroiled in Kafka-esque proceedings.
One friend's son made a playful gesture to a friend involving a wink and a pistol gesture with his hand in imitation of some comedian. This was interpreted as a potential terrorist threat, and the parents found themselves up against an administration that was hostile to due process and ignored its own published disciplinary and appeal proceedings as it tried to steamroll toward a lengthy suspension.
Granted, I only know one side of this case, but these parents are not "helicopter parents." They had a realistic view of their kid and they generally expected him to clean up his own messes and pick himself up when he fell. Parents who see their kids' futures threatened by such outrages will shift into the protective "mama bear" mode. Those with the means to do so might "lawyer up." My friends didn't hire a lawyer, but they would have if they could have afforded it.
Like many things in life, this is a two-way street. Some administrators bring parental hostility and lawyer involvement upon themselves through their own capriciousness.
An administrator who is so embittered against parents probably should move on to another line of work.
You make some great points and I agree with pretty much all of them but I also see this as a "chicken or egg sitution" - which came first the crazy parents or the crazy administration?
Overall the situations you're talking about really aren't the teacher's fault (although there are some crazy teachers out there) because these are administratives that come down from the top. A lot of these zero tolerance policies come from either trying to limit / control how many times a school can be sued by crazy parents. Come up with a blanket policy that covers everyone and now you've something that is "fair" for everyone.....without any logic behind it. The other reason for this is you have lazy administrators who don't want to take the time to investigate and find the facts to determine what really happened. They hide behind a rulebook and that's how they govern.
One way I look at the problems on the administrative side is that on our level in the trenches teachers see students as people. We know if they come from terrible home lives or whatever their situation is. But as you move up the ladder students stop being people but numbers. Instead of seeing how I helped Johnny increase some sort of test score from one level to another although Johnny didn't reach the magic number to "pass". All they see is "such and such school" didn't have this percentage of passing students although it might have been a phenomenal teaching job by the staff to get them where they are.
But you're right the vast majority of zero tolerance policies are just ridiculous but we have to follow them in order to keep our jobs.
Yes, there are many excellent teachers who unobtrusively try to keep common sense and decency alive despite the unwise policies they work under.
quote:Originally posted by coach2709:
We know if they come from terrible home lives or whatever their situation is. But as you move up the ladder students stop being people but numbers. Instead of seeing how I helped Johnny increase some sort of test score from one level to another although Johnny didn't reach the magic number to "pass". All they see is "such and such school" didn't have this percentage of passing students although it might have been a phenomenal teaching job by the staff to get them where they are.
Coach, you must go crazy when you hear the term 'merit pay'. You should get a bonus just for getting some kids to show up.
quote:No need to take responsibility for anything anymore.
Either sue somebody or wait for the government to bail me out.
Agree 100%
The reality is that the "lifestyle" of making excuses is not limited to our schools and universities. It has become so engrained in society that it's not just limited to the classroom, the athletic field, and the workplace, it's in the "home". It's become a big part of who people "are". It's certainly made the life of our educators and administrators so much more challenging, but it's also changed the face of this nation, and made everyone's life more difficult.
The "cases" that I find tough:
Case A: Parent wants kid to get an A. that is all that matters, growth matters not one bit. If kid gets A, you are an acceptable teacher, if not, you stink and should work elsewhere.
Case B: Kid hates school and idolizes older brother or uncle that dropped out.
Case C: Kid is totally disintereted in anything the school has to offer.
There are a lot of books written on how we've come to these issues. just my 2 cents
Case A: Parent wants kid to get an A. that is all that matters, growth matters not one bit. If kid gets A, you are an acceptable teacher, if not, you stink and should work elsewhere.
Case B: Kid hates school and idolizes older brother or uncle that dropped out.
Case C: Kid is totally disintereted in anything the school has to offer.
There are a lot of books written on how we've come to these issues. just my 2 cents
The complaints by the teachers in the article are real. They are also whining to some degree.
The reality is that there are situations where parents have to step in.
Here's our experience:
1. Kindergarden age we were warned that the teacher did not like boys. We were told by that teacher that our son was falling behind and needed to be put on Ritalin. We told them if he was ADHD they'd have to pay for an aide, and that we wouldn't drug him. They tested him and found out he was well ahead of his grade level. So much for the Ritalin, so much for the aide. He was just being a boy and had a teacher unwilling to deal with boys that age. (Sad part is that they were considering holding him back. It would have been good for him from a social and sports standpoint but there was no way we were going to make him go through another year with that teacher. The idea was dropped after they got the test results.)
2. A grade school Math teacher called us in for a consultation. Our son told us the teacher didn't like him, etc. After talking to the teacher we determined that she really was looking out for him and just wanted him to live up to his abilities and we worked with her to get him to do his part.
3. He was falling behind in a middle school math class. I told him to get help from the teacher during lunch time office hours. The teacher wouldn't take the time to help him because he was too busy with a meteorolgy club during lunch and other times. I went and talked to the teacher and told him he'd better do his job before he did the fun things or I'd make sure the administration knew about it. My son got the help he needed and did just fine.
BTW, it may sound like he has a problem with math but he aced his college math through differential equations so I kind of doubt it. He did get a B in linear algebra though...hmmm.
None of us want to be helicopter parents but we also have to stand up and make sure that teachers are doing their jobs. The majority of teachers are doing their very best but just like in any other profession there are a few bad apples for whatever reason. The likelihood is that sometime between kindergarden and HS graduation your child is going to run into at least one of those bad apples. Hopefully, they'll be able to deal with it on their own, because that can be a great life lesson well worth getting a B instead of an A or a C instead of a B. If not, then the parents have to do their job.
The reality is that there are situations where parents have to step in.
Here's our experience:
1. Kindergarden age we were warned that the teacher did not like boys. We were told by that teacher that our son was falling behind and needed to be put on Ritalin. We told them if he was ADHD they'd have to pay for an aide, and that we wouldn't drug him. They tested him and found out he was well ahead of his grade level. So much for the Ritalin, so much for the aide. He was just being a boy and had a teacher unwilling to deal with boys that age. (Sad part is that they were considering holding him back. It would have been good for him from a social and sports standpoint but there was no way we were going to make him go through another year with that teacher. The idea was dropped after they got the test results.)
2. A grade school Math teacher called us in for a consultation. Our son told us the teacher didn't like him, etc. After talking to the teacher we determined that she really was looking out for him and just wanted him to live up to his abilities and we worked with her to get him to do his part.
3. He was falling behind in a middle school math class. I told him to get help from the teacher during lunch time office hours. The teacher wouldn't take the time to help him because he was too busy with a meteorolgy club during lunch and other times. I went and talked to the teacher and told him he'd better do his job before he did the fun things or I'd make sure the administration knew about it. My son got the help he needed and did just fine.
BTW, it may sound like he has a problem with math but he aced his college math through differential equations so I kind of doubt it. He did get a B in linear algebra though...hmmm.
None of us want to be helicopter parents but we also have to stand up and make sure that teachers are doing their jobs. The majority of teachers are doing their very best but just like in any other profession there are a few bad apples for whatever reason. The likelihood is that sometime between kindergarden and HS graduation your child is going to run into at least one of those bad apples. Hopefully, they'll be able to deal with it on their own, because that can be a great life lesson well worth getting a B instead of an A or a C instead of a B. If not, then the parents have to do their job.
I have been on both sides, my kids hated me because I ALWAYS took the teacher's side, even when I thought that the teacher was wrong (I never let them know that either). If I had to do it all over again, I would do the same.
I didn't leave teaching because of the parents, I left because rarely did the administration want to be bothered with helping with solutions. Having taught in both public and private, the latter was the greater of two evils, constant reminders that these parents paid our salary.
I very rarely had issues with parents, I really hated it when the solutions always seemed to be the student needed testing and meds, in reality, kids are kids, they don't always sit still and all learn differently. The problem is that while trying to raise education standards, creativity has gone out the window, it's just not a one size fits all, and that frustrates everyone.
After a while it becames a no win situation.
I didn't leave teaching because of the parents, I left because rarely did the administration want to be bothered with helping with solutions. Having taught in both public and private, the latter was the greater of two evils, constant reminders that these parents paid our salary.
I very rarely had issues with parents, I really hated it when the solutions always seemed to be the student needed testing and meds, in reality, kids are kids, they don't always sit still and all learn differently. The problem is that while trying to raise education standards, creativity has gone out the window, it's just not a one size fits all, and that frustrates everyone.After a while it becames a no win situation.
quote:Originally posted by TPM:
I have been on both sides, my kids hated me because I ALWAYS took the teacher's side, even when I thought that the teacher was wrong (I never let them know that either). If I had to do it all over again, I would do the same.
I didn't leave teaching because of the parents, I left because rarely did the administration want to be bothered with helping with solutions. Having taught in both public and private, the latter was the greater of two evils, constant reminders that these parents paid our salary.
After a while it becames a no win situation.
True!
Teachers can not really tell parents because if they do not tell them what the parents want to hear you better be prepared to explain yourself. I taught for 40 years. Let me share this with you. I once had a student many years ago who failed. did not do assignments failed tests acted up in class etc etc I explained this to the parent. I was told the parent would take care of it and that the problem was over. It was. the student had all assignments in tests passed etc. toward the end of my tenure(40 yrs) I had a similar situation and was told i was picking on the student. go figure
A question from a dad of a student who struggles with academics:
From your experience what are some strategies and wisdom you can pass on for helping a son to believe in his abilities and pay the price in his school work?
He also has a challenge in believing in himself in sport but he does pay the price there: working out practicing throwing agility nutrition etc.
From your experience what are some strategies and wisdom you can pass on for helping a son to believe in his abilities and pay the price in his school work?
He also has a challenge in believing in himself in sport but he does pay the price there: working out practicing throwing agility nutrition etc.
I honestly think there are valid points on both sides. When dealing with my son I have usually tried looking at the situation before jumping one way or another.
My son is a typical teenager. He is distracted by the same things that most teenage boys are; girls, girls, girls and bsing with his buddies. Oh yeah, and girls. I pretty much was told that it was affecting his class participation during a paren't teacher meeting-two teachers told me he was more interested in socializing than in paying attention in class and although he was pulling an A in both classes he was being a distraction to other students.
Well, that was my cue to jump on my son's case. I pretty much told him that such behavior was unacceptable and that if he can't keep his social behavior in check I would give the teacher permission to do whatever they felt necessary to prevent him screwing up other kids. He seems to have taken it to heart, getting stuck right up front didn't appeal to him. I haven't heard any other complaints.
On the other hand there was an incident when he was a 6th grader where I turned into 'one of those parents'. My son was a little small early on in life and that seemed to attract some of the local bullies early on. It was more harrassment than anything else but it happened on school property which irritated me. He shot up between 10 and 11 and was the same height as the rest of the kids at that point but it was still 3-4 on one and he was scared to death that he would get in trouble if he confronted these kids.
I told him to try to avoid these kids and report any problems to the school. The playground was supposed to be monitored. That of course did nothing but cause him more problems. The principal and the teachers out there did absolutely nothing about the situation and him 'tattling' just made him more of a target.
So I told him to go ahead Christmas Story the biggest kid causing the problems. Flat out, nail the biggest mouth of the group. If the teachers aren't going to do anything then fine, once the group comes up just go out and nail the leader. Don't give him a chance to react, just flat out go after him and don't stop until you are pulled off of the kid. Hit him hard, hit him fast and keep puching until the teachers yank you off of him.
So he did it. Beat the **** out of this kid too. I get a call and the principle now decides that my son should be suspended for two weeks for fighting. I calmly, but quite firmly and with some anger behind my voice, told her that he reported problems with these kids several times and absolutely nothing was done about it. I stated that he will not be suspended unless these other boys are suspended with him. They were in direct violation of their no bullying policy by allowing this stuff to go on and my son did this not only to protect himself but the other kids on the playground.
Nothing happened to my son. It was funny though, I put him in a different middle school than he should have gone to because I figured there would be more blowback from this incident. I guess his little fight was well known and he had gotten a reputation as a hellion. The middle school he did go to accepted him reluctantly. The teachers there told me later that they were so pleased with how polite and gentle he is, especially after what they had been told about him.
My son is a typical teenager. He is distracted by the same things that most teenage boys are; girls, girls, girls and bsing with his buddies. Oh yeah, and girls. I pretty much was told that it was affecting his class participation during a paren't teacher meeting-two teachers told me he was more interested in socializing than in paying attention in class and although he was pulling an A in both classes he was being a distraction to other students.
Well, that was my cue to jump on my son's case. I pretty much told him that such behavior was unacceptable and that if he can't keep his social behavior in check I would give the teacher permission to do whatever they felt necessary to prevent him screwing up other kids. He seems to have taken it to heart, getting stuck right up front didn't appeal to him. I haven't heard any other complaints.
On the other hand there was an incident when he was a 6th grader where I turned into 'one of those parents'. My son was a little small early on in life and that seemed to attract some of the local bullies early on. It was more harrassment than anything else but it happened on school property which irritated me. He shot up between 10 and 11 and was the same height as the rest of the kids at that point but it was still 3-4 on one and he was scared to death that he would get in trouble if he confronted these kids.
I told him to try to avoid these kids and report any problems to the school. The playground was supposed to be monitored. That of course did nothing but cause him more problems. The principal and the teachers out there did absolutely nothing about the situation and him 'tattling' just made him more of a target.
So I told him to go ahead Christmas Story the biggest kid causing the problems. Flat out, nail the biggest mouth of the group. If the teachers aren't going to do anything then fine, once the group comes up just go out and nail the leader. Don't give him a chance to react, just flat out go after him and don't stop until you are pulled off of the kid. Hit him hard, hit him fast and keep puching until the teachers yank you off of him.
So he did it. Beat the **** out of this kid too. I get a call and the principle now decides that my son should be suspended for two weeks for fighting. I calmly, but quite firmly and with some anger behind my voice, told her that he reported problems with these kids several times and absolutely nothing was done about it. I stated that he will not be suspended unless these other boys are suspended with him. They were in direct violation of their no bullying policy by allowing this stuff to go on and my son did this not only to protect himself but the other kids on the playground.
Nothing happened to my son. It was funny though, I put him in a different middle school than he should have gone to because I figured there would be more blowback from this incident. I guess his little fight was well known and he had gotten a reputation as a hellion. The middle school he did go to accepted him reluctantly. The teachers there told me later that they were so pleased with how polite and gentle he is, especially after what they had been told about him.
That is why we homeschool and have been for 15 years. Although I did put my boys in to public school at 9th grade to learn how to deal with issues they will face when they get in the real world.
Go to HLSDA to find out more.
Go to HLSDA to find out more.
Seems today that more effort is made to make excuses why kids do not learn.
quote:Originally posted by Will:
Seems today that more effort is made to make excuses why kids do not learn.
Agree!