Youth motivated to practice

He is an 11 year old kid---he wants to be a boy--need I say more---let him be that 11 year old boy---if you push the issue he may turn off completely

My bet is that girls are involved somewhere in the equation.

I was a diehard baseball player growing up and went through the same thing. Somewhere along the line I figured out that most girls dig ballplayers. I was the first one to practice after that!!!

No seriously though, at your sons age is where you tend to see kids dropping off, at least according to some statistics that I saw for all of youth sports. Something in the range of 65-70% of kids that participated in youth sports have given it up by age 12 for numerous reasons.

The only thing anyone can do on here is post their own experiences and hope it helps. I don't think what your kid is going through is unusual at all though. Try asking him why the thought of going to practice doesn't sound fun and see where that gets you.

Might be a phase he's going through. How much longer will you have to prod him to go to practice? Who knows. It won't get any easier as he gets to the next level, either.

He's made a committment to the team for this year. He should stick it out and that should be the way you rationalize dragging him to practice..at least for yourself. It's not a good lesson to let him drop baseball because he's tired of going to practice. Remind him that he signed up..nobody forced him. But I would remember all this for next year..or for the next sport. And sit down with him right before signups and lay on the line. You'll remind him a few times about practice..but no more armtwisting next year.

He's 11..a lot can and will change over the next year. Hanging with his buddies is the current rage for him..it'll be something else. The lesson is if you want to play baseball or any sport, your friends are just going to have come second. Always. Maybe he needs more baseball friends!! Good luck.

I think the fact that his friends are non-athletic has something to do with it. His neighborhood friends have no commitments that I know of. Not in academics, not in sports, and not in the community. They just play wild sun up to sun down. One of his friends came out for baseball a few years back. He made it to the first game; Sat down on 2nd base and said its too hot. He never returned to sports. He also failed to pass a grade in elementary school. But, he's still a neighborhood friend. So, when I ask my son to come in and get ready for practice, you can imagine how his peer can't relate.

Practice is just twice a week. I don't think that's pushing too hard. He's gifted in baseball, so, that why I insist he practice baseball twice a week. But it could be anything. If he quits baseball, he's going to violin lessons (just an example) or afterschool care. But, I refuse to let him just run wild 5 days a week. I'm giving him 3 days a week to just be a kid and hang out with his buds. But, the other two will be involved in a structured activity. I happen to feel baseball is a pretty good source for that activity. Lots of on the field lessons in baseball that he can carry through life.

Was really just wondering if anyone else shared these type experiences. Hoping its just a phase. Thanks.

Brian,
We had some of those days at 11, 12 -- it seemed to stem from the fact that, like your son, his real buddies were not baseball players. (They played s****r) Their schedules were different. Those were also the socially very active middle school years. In my experience, peer acceptance, fitting in, and being busy socially, were super important to the kids then. That's when they really blossom, and come into their own for the first time. I think you're handling it well -- some kids need prodding to do what they know they need to do!

I, personally, would be concerned about all the time with boys that "run wild". Fun and messing around the neighborhood are great -- but if the boys have no supervision in their days, I would be worried about them at this age. JMO

Brian,

Just looking at the post for the first time. I think someone else mentioned trying to get him to hang out with his baseball friends.We lived rural when son was little so all play dates had to be planned because everyone lived on land and far away.
But even now in high school my son predominantly hangs out with baseball friends because of the time committment. we had a scrimmages last Saturday, the boys hung together friday night went to the movie and spent the night together but were in bed by 10 and they are seniors. They are very serious ballplayers and it really helps. Invite baseball friends over for overnights, take them to movies etc. I agree with other posters it will get harder as he gets older because these kids that have no planned activities at all will have a lot of free time once HS comes around.
I agree he needs to be a kid. In the end it will come down to how much he wants it, because it gets harder and more and more time to be a good HS player and beyond.They have to begin to make choices and sometimes have to give up some things to play. he is only 11 and Im sure doesnt really know how much he wants to devote to baseball at this time. anyway good luck

Looking back.. There was never any issue with practice. However at 11 son played only LL baseball and the season ended in June.
When he played summer ball at 13 his best friend was on the team.

He'll come around. I compromised with my son when he was 10-11; 1 hour in the cage and the rest of the day was his. Or, 30 minutes of long toss and situations and then you can go play. I still try to keep the practice time at an hour or less when it's him and I. Unfortunatly he wants MORE MORE MORE now, I bet I threw 250 BP pitches today.

Brian you bring some "good" posts to the table. Number one this is a parenting issue and not really a baseball issue but since it affects you and your son's baseball it qualifies! You touched on one thing I think is important --- the violin lessons. I think you feel as if that would be an "undesirable" option and your son would choose baseball over violin. If you do that you stand a good chance of "making" him to choose baseball. I think that's smart. He probably feels as if he is in control his options at this point. In other words if he didn't have to go to practice HE feels as if he could select HIS option which in all likelihood would be hanging with his friends. After all, it appears as if no one is controlling their options. Seems as if they are doing as they please. Explain to him that is NOT the case with him. Explain he doesn't HAVE to go to baseball but if he doesn't he will HAVE to do something else and he can rest assured it's NOT going to be running wild in the neighborhood. No, we cannot MAKE our sons go to baseball practice ---- but we can make baseball practice their best choice when WE define their other options. We live in the country and I can remember giving my son the option of picking up sticks or practice. Cutting grass or practice. Splitting wood or practice. Washing vehicles or practice. Like your son he liked baseball and liked practice but the regimented structure was being forced on him at a young age and he didn't like it. "Play" was starting to look a lot like "work". I explained about the options on the front end and told him this was the way it was going to be. I explained I would provide him with options and he could make the choice. I remember later on when he was in high school he wanted to go to work at Kroger instead of playing summer ball so he could buy "things" ---- I explained if he would work as hard at baseball as he would at Kroger I would buy him those things a job could provide.

Odds are this is a short term problem. Have some Dad/Son talks. Make it clear you want to help him do what is in his best interest. Once he adjust to the regiment of the practice schedule I think he'll be OK with it.
Best of Luck,
Fungo

Well whenever i was 11 i never wanted to go to practice either.But now when im 15 i love every minute of it.

All great answers and feedback. Hope I didn't offend any violin players. (For those of us in Tennessee, its referred to as a fiddle.) Funny thing happened this weekend. The weather warmed up, my son got to put on his game apparel for the first time this season and he actually did pretty well on the mound, hitting, and turned a few in the infield. His 'tude is completely different now about the game and he asked that I take him to the cages everyday this week. I think there is some magic in Spring weather that I didn't count on. So, I didn't have to play the ultimatum of sports versus structured music lessons yet. (Although, there is nothing wrong with music lessons; and I really wish he would do both; he just refuses to take up that activity.) Again, thanks for feedback.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
He is an 11 year old kid---he wants to be a boy--need I say more---let him be that 11 year old boy---if you push the issue he may turn off completely

Sorry T but you are missing the point here. An 11yr these days is not like it was in your days. My 14yr does something baseball related 5 days a week. He still has plenty of time to hang out with his friends. His neighborhood friends do not play any sports just hang out on skate boards and play video games. So like Brian, even though he may not want to go to practice, I make him and he is OK with it once he gets there.

Brian you are doing the right thing.

Doing anything 4-6 days a week has to be fun or it won't last long. If you force a kid to practice that many times he might be telling you something. Like "I'm not having fun playing baseball anymore." To me, going to baseball workout 5 days a week in the winter has to have a major element of "hanging out with my boys" in it. The kids go to workout but also go to hang out. I'm not talking about goofing off for 2 hours but I am talking about bulls..ing and laughing while working out. When you get the right combination of the fun, and the baseball the kids want to go, learns alot and don't burnout.

Also there are times when playing in the snow or just hanging out for a day or two is also good for reducing burnout.

The bottom line to me is fun. If he has fun while playing baseball he can, and may want to go everyday.