You've got to help pick up the pieces sometimes!

Justbaseball, he will have plenty of people who can analyze what went right and wrong. And he has to have enough talent just to play college ball,to get to the point where his moves will be scrutinized.

You are so right to remind us to keep the positive forces going strong!

Sometimes, just a simple positive reinforcement is all it takes to get back up and start over. You did your job today!

Just:
Awesome post and great perspective!
That boy is great!!!

JustBB: Spectacular post!! There have been some pretty controversial comments this week directed at OPP, Bighit and others asserting they live their lives through the success of their children. OPP, Bighit, FutureBack, TennDad, HSBBW and a lot of us have seen our sons feel like complete failures as they took on the challenges of competing in college and professional baseball. Little doubt that all of us have become so much better as parents on days like this when our sons need so much more and they have no place else to go than to the dorm/hotel/bus. Thanks for bringing such a warm, generous and wonderful perspective.

I have committed this year to not teaching baseball but being a sounding board. If he has an off day I try to ask him what he thinks....he really does know more about baseball/himself then I had thought. He is 1 year out of HS and I think he needs to grow on his own.

All that said, I will be there when he is down, up and in the middle. I will guide but not direct. It is going to be hard for me to make this change but I know it is time - wish me luck in keeping my mouth shut and my ears open.

He is a great young man and I will make sure he knows it.

Thanks, good reminder!

justbaseball ...

Great post and insight.

When we parents get to the stage that your son is at, and beyond, we have to remember that these young men (1) are very much aware of their mistakes; (2) have coaches and managers who are paid to teach, correct, improve, and help develop their talents further; (3) sometimes just need a "best fan" for unconditional support and love.

I have always loved being the "mom" because it always seemed easier for me to be the supporter instead of the teacher ... the transition was harder for "dad" because he was always the coach as son grew up ... but he is finally there.

Thanks for reminding us of what is important.

Thanks for some very good advice. I echo what Dave17 and FBM says. I quit “coaching” a long time ago but I still remain in his corner. Sport are very emotional for all involved, especially the players, and there needs to be a constant somewhere in his game that can maintain a healthy perspective. Who better to assume that role than the parent(s)? I never lie to my son about his performance...I never lay the blame on someone else for his mistakes. I share his joy for his accomplishments and I share his pain for his mistakes.
Fungo

Great post! I echo the above posters. It's my nature to want to help, and being supportive in the ups and downs is my forte now.

JustBB et al - I hear you.

It's particularly important to remember when there is a rock sitting in the pit of your stomach . Thanks for the poignant reminder.

JUSTbb

Being there to listen with a positive word is a good thing to do when the first opportunities don't go as planned, which we unfortunatley saw first hand over the weekend.

The beginning is tough. I looked around at stats of several of my son's summer teammates now at schools around the country, all playing on good teams as freshmen. Of those academicly eligble, Yikes, I saw big o'fers, and earned runs, a bunch.

Chins up. Its not where you start, but where you finish that matters.

Hopefully y'all don't feel like the Lone Rangers.

Justbaseball...great thread. I truly am glad that I am no longer coaching my son. Do I live my life through my son? Absolutely, I live my life through both of my sons, one plays baseball, the other doesn't. I hurt for them when they have bad days, and am happy for them when they have good ones. But EVERY DAY I am proud of them. They work hard everyday, and are good boys. Baseball is just one small item in my 16 year olds life, who is growing up to be a man. No matter what he does in life he will be a professional and have a very successful life. I am just here to cheer him on. And whenever either one of my sons wants to talk about baseball or life in general, I will always always be there for them. As baseball goes, I have always thought even when I was coaching, that my son learned more from his failures than his successes. The reason he is such a good baseball player I think is, he has learned that there is a game tomorrow, and not to dwell on the negative, he can't change what happened today, just do better tomorrow. When he finally figured out that he had to let it go, and learn from his mistakes, he actually became a much better person and player all around. Kind of funny, but I don't think there is a better pitching coach around than him, he knows what is working, how to set up hitters, how he feels physically. Now if I can only get him to clean his room. Take care all, and have a great valentines day.

Justbaseball -- that was a thoughtful post