Coaches Favorite Players

Good post!

Here's a couple of other criteria you could add to your list:

11. mental toughness
12. what coach values more: fielding or hitting ability (if coach has to choose between the two)

What you have listed above all have to be earned and are the exact things all kids and parents should know and want to be judged or "liked" for.

But their are certainly other factors why some coaches have favorites. When a coach plays kids due to reputation (accurate or not), preconceived talent evaluation and, worst of all, relationship with the coach or program, these are the things that should have no place in determining playing time.

Incumbancy is what I see as the biggest hurdle and cause for the most complaints about "coaches favorites". I have seen coaches pick incumbent players over players with quite a bit more to offer, across the board. In one circumstance, the incumbent was a two way player, and when a new player came along that was better at one aspect, the coach was reluctant to take away one part of the incumbent two way players game.

It seems hard for some coaches to take last years starter and put him on the bench or in the bullpen in favor of the younger, better player.

Kbat,
Incumbent doesn't mean older, in fact, in the example, he was younger because he was a varsity two way starter as a freshman.

At our high and middle school it went

#1 Coaches kids
#2 football coaches kids
#3 brown nosers
#4 coaches friends kids
#5 coaches kids friends kids
#6 other teachers kids

Obviously we lost most of the time. I hope this is rare but because it was what we experienced we have no history of anything else. What we learned is to attempt to correct it through channels then play JV and laugh it off, while attempting to get better on his own. Currently my kid is the only one playing college ball and was not in the top 6 at any time.

quote:

Do coaches play favorites?

Interesting question.

I think when you hear people use this phrase more often than not they mean it pejoratively. In other words, they mean a coach's personal affections toward a player has colored his objectivty which causes him to play less talented players over more talented players on the bench.

Parents sometimes over-value their own kids (or kids they know) strengths and under-value others who may have similar or differing strengths. What they don't account for sometimes is that the coach may have a different value system. One coach may value power over speed for example. Offense over defense etc, etc.

I've discovered a very simple piece of advice for my club kids that are playing HS ball now. 4thGen's program is a contender for the State title every year and there are lots of good players struggling to get at bats. His HC has been very clear about what it takes to be one of his favorites, so my simple advice to the kids is:

"shut up and hit".

Don't whine, or try and butter up the coaching staff, don't bother having your parents act as an agent, just rake.

What PG is talking about is why players are favorites to coaches. We can all talk about what shouldnt be the reason. This thread is about why they are. He is absolutely correct with his list. I play favorites and I want my players to understand what it takes to be one of my favorites. Come to the field everyday with a burning desire to compete and get better. I have had a few players over the years that I really didnt like for certain reasons. But they were some of my favorite players. For all the reasons PG talks about. I have had kids I absolutely loved as kids. They would come over to my house and eat dinner and watch tv, etc. But they were not talented enough to get on the field at least on a consistent basis. Do I like you for the reasons listed? That is what is important.

I have heard people make the comment "He is one of the coaches favorites." Yep your darn right he is. Maybe if you quite whineing and complaining and took care of business you would be too.

PG,

great post. Coach May good post. I have had my son accused of being a coaches favorite in HS. My son was MVP and parents said it was becasue i was in with the coach. I had parents call me when my son was announced MVP and tell me why their kid or someone else should of been. There was the entire league of coaches to vote MVP.
My son and others had been invited to work out with the varsity coach at the sports club(most all the boys belong, its a block away from school and they all go and work out , shoot hoops, swim etc)
They worked out three times a week at 530 am. My son went the entire season, he was the only one. I got a long with the coach, he always talked to me because he saw something in my son. I still talk to him , he has come to some of my sons college scrimmages , he liked my son for the resons you guys talked about. But the other parents just though my son was favored. It really was upsetting to watch parents strip away my sons and our familys joy of the accolades he received last year.I didnt tell anyone when he was 2nd team all state becasue I was afraid they would think the HS coach picked him for that. That was picked by Cal HI sports.
I just mention my son, because I am not a coach like you guys,I just saw how the HS coach was accused of something that was not true. When the teams GPA is low and two or three guys with 3.5 or over pick up the teams GPA, when a kid stays after for extra groundballs , when a kid shows up early to hit in the cages, when he works out on his own at 530 in the morning,coaches like those things, ( and the particular kids have some talent etc.these are things parents dont see when they come to the games. They havent seen what has gone on all fall and all spring.Parents do think their kids are a s good as the starters. My sons HS coach told me 4 years ago when I first met him that he will pick his varsity ss based on who he thinks is the best guy, this guy will get the job done 99% of the time, but the one or two times he screws up the coach said he knows the parents are ripping the kid in the stands. Well four years later my kid becasme that starting ss, he made maybe 4 errors the entire year, they ripped him in the stands, he lead the team to playoffs, and to the chamionship game, he was hitting .500, he was o-2 in the section play off with a walk. I heard how he didnt step up during that game, no errors just not hiiting. Well look at the city paper when they had a article about playoffs and who the hitter was to shut down in the playoff game, guess who? announced all his stats and that the other team was going to try to shut my son down. Its ok someone else hit the game winning HR, good for him, its a team effort. But those parents didnt understand that my son would not see one good pitch to hit and certainly nothing he was going to drive anywhere.the parents are clueless that a number three hitter will see a lot different stuff than a 7 or 8 guy who might get a lot of fast balls. Parents dont get sh---. Ive seen it with my son Ive seen it at every level.
yeah there are coaches that maybe play the wrong guys, but I will tell you throughout HS, and now at his JC I think the coaches have put the best nine guys on the field, and I am not saying that because my son was always one of them becasue he wasnt, he didnt start his JV year or the first quarter of it, they figured it out and he eventually did, The cream will rise. The parents of kids who dont play in hs, their kids most of them dont do anything outside of team practice, they dont get what the kids who want it really do on their own time.
Coaches see it, and I really cant believe from the coaches that ive met on this web site dont have the best guys on the field. Theres always the marginalguys, well dont be marginal step it up. You will have to in Hs and beyond. its a competitve field out there and rarely do you get to play if your not good enough. I havent seen it HS and beyond. maybe in LL. kids need to be all the things PG said, and have desire and they have to want it.
watch a kid wh wants it, you can pick them out, they show it every day to the coaches, so when the line up card is made stop whining and go and get the job done to make sure your not off the lineup again.

The team I help out has a kid who defines what would be my "favorite". He's a catcher (I'll admit off the bat that I love catchers). He's not big, but he has good strength, good pop from a nice lefty swing, and a good arm, especially considering he's just a freshman. But, none of that is what makes him my favorite.

He will catch bullpens until he can barely squat (not that we actually make him do that, but I know he would....he's just that kind of kid). He's busting it 100% whether it's a game, a bullpen, or between innings warmups. If the ball is in the dirt, he blocks it, even in the bullpen. Many kids don't want to catch, and even most guys who like catching don't like catching bullpens. But this kid doesn't just sit back there and serve as a ball return while the pitcher is working. He's taking advantage of the opportunity to get better.

And when he's done his catching work, he doesn't complain that his legs are tired or whatever. He's the first one done when we run (even though he's not the fastest by any means). And he even gets on his dad when he's taking BP or soft toss if his dad loses focus and isn't giving him quality reps (please note that he's in no way disrespectful to his dad). He never has anything but positive stuff to say about his teammates, and he's always got a smile on his face because he's always having fun.

Who knows what kind of player he will become....I think he'll be a good HS player and hopefully play at least some college ball. But I'm definitely rooting for him.

Where my son goes to college they had a coaches vote and a players vote on who should be team captain. Guess what - the players and the coaches came up with the same person as their number one choice. If you are going to have a team captain, it's nice that they did it this way so that no one could just say - well he is coaches favorite. I'm sure that everything on the list that PGStaff posted was a big part of the decision for both coaches and teammates.

First Timer,
My HS basketball coach had a secret ballot to pick the captains. Because it was secret, he just picked who he wanted. He also did it for MVP, best defensive, etc. Crafty old guy had been coaching Basketball for 20 years when I played for him. He told me about it when I ran into him at a class reunion. After he had retired. But he also admitted that he had changed his mind a few times after seeing the ballots. But he always made the decision.

Great post...

You all have said everything I would hope to hear.

The only point I have is in regard to the player or parents complaining that their kid is "just as good as so and so". This is where I ask them " If he's ONLY 'just as good' why should I change anything?

If a player wants more time, they have to earn it!

quote:

the parents are ripping the kid in the stands

Great posts. fanofgame, my son hasn't had the accomplishments that yours has, but he has been accused of being the coach's favorite, too. Parents were jealous because he was moved up to varsity at a young age. There were two reasons - his arm was hurt so he couldn't play defense for JV, and he could hit varsity pitching and the coach decided that he could get better and help varsity. And two seniors told the coach they needed him and to move him up. Still, some of the parents were certain that it was because he was the "coach's favorite." I do did a lot of volunteering for the team, so that was the assumed reason he was the "favorite."

After a great freshman season last year with a new coach, and an absolutely fantastic summer where his summer coach gave him another opportunity to prove himself at a pretty high level, I so don't care anymore what they think. As far as volunteering, I'm done with the "above and beyond" stuff. I'm tired of busting my b-u-t-t for these people only to have them rip my son. It's time for someone else to step up.

All that aside, I'll add another item to PG's list. I don't know what you call it... but 2B has never been one to charge out onto the field, and charge back into the dugout because the coach yells "Hustle!" He runs out to his position because he can't wait to get the ball. He runs back to the dugout because he can't wait to hit. If you ever see him do it, you'll know. How about love of the game?

quote:

Originally posted by fanofgame:
Parents dont get sh---.

Oh. Now at least we know our place and will try not to get in your enlightened way.

Maybe Fan meant "some" parents don't get ......

That's the way I took it - "some," certainly not all.

my son was a coach's/fan favorite. baseball player with a football mentality.the kind you loved to play with,hated to play against. got quite a few people off their couches to watch him play.

i've known some parents who alway's feel their kids are slighted in some way. from my experience that mostly stops in high school. it isn't easily accepted, but talented players are easily a step above.

i think a big disservice, more often than not is a dad climbing the coaching ladder with his son. if he's talented he'll play regardless of the coach.

i think i just rambled off topic?

when you have the quality's that pg outlined, it is a joy to watch. i don't care who you are.

3rdgenerationnation quote:

quote:

His HC has been very clear about what it takes to be one of his favorites, so my simple advice to the kids is:

"shut up and hit".

Don't whine, or try and butter up the coaching staff, don't bother having your parents act as an agent, just rake.

Now THATS good!!!

PG, CoachMay
I agree with you guys 100% about your favorite players. The ones who work the hardest, do the right things and have success on the field because of the work.
The frustrating thing is when a kid does all of that, including the success part and still does get a chance.
My son's experience: Works out all, and every, winter at a baseball academy. Has a good tryout as a soph, after being the best hitter as a freshman. Doesn't make varsity, very disappointed. I tell him to just do what you do and they will have to move you up.
He proceeds to hit 10 HR in first 15 games along with good average and pitches well. Never moved up.
He never complained, had fun playing with friends and just did what he does.

That is the frustrating part of favorite players. Favorite players for the wrong reason that is. I attributed this to just a bad coach who had favorites. He also seemed to keep the smaller faster kids. Maybe they are his type.

What this did was turn one of the better players off to the HS program. If it was up to my son he would not play HS this year. Of course he will but he will play waiting for the season to end so he can start travel.

A coach should have favorite players who earn that distinction. But coaches who plays favorites for the wrong reasons are out there and are very frustrating.

Fillsfan,

quote:

The frustrating thing is when a kid does all of that, including the success part and still does get a chance.

...did you mean " still does not get a chance "?

quote:

Originally posted by kbat2012:
Do coaches have age/grade discrimination? Some school have some untold rule like "No Freshman should play in the JV/V no matter what." Do your school have this kind of rules? Please let me know.

Last year my son and another freshmen were the last two cuts from varsity. They were told it was due to so many seniors deserving first shot. They were placed on JV instead of the freshman team. After several varsity failures one was called up for a few games. My son would have been called up if not for a disciplanary issue (you shouldn't punch out a teammate in school).

I didn't have an issue with the coach's decision. The varsity was doomed to have a terrible season. While I believe my son could have started based on the available talent, it didn't mean he was ready to face the competition the opposing schools put on the field. The JV team had a solid year. A bunch of kids, including my son who got used to winning will be starters on varsity this year.

My favorites are the hard working, scr@ppy (come on, ***** out the cr@ppy in scr@ppy!) players with high baseball IQ's who get every ounce of ability out of their body.

But have you ever watched a kid play and ask yourself, "What the hell does the coach see in that kid?" We have one at our high school. He was way below the Mendoza line as a soph. He was just above it as a junior. He's the most impressive looking unproductive player I've ever seen. He looks and walks like a ball player. He has a great swing when he misses. He's graceful not getting to balls in the outfield. He looks fluid with his average velocity throws.

Good topic PG.
I had a discussion recently with a friend of mine who is now a HC of a major D1 program . He told me that of course all coaches have their favorites, but you also always play your best 9 on the field to win and you never tell any of them they are your favorites. We see and talk aobut this often about MLB players, why is that jerk in the line up? Simple answer, because he helps win games.
FWIW, my son was one of his favorite players and he got more butt kicking than anyone (in his opinion). He realizes he got that because he was a favorite. There were a few times they actually didn't speak cordially for a few days. He even got his start taken away one weekend, because he was not listening to suggestions in making adjustments. That straightened his rear out in a day. I doubt son would be who or where he is without that butt kicking and he realizes that now. He isn't the only one I am sure who has been through this, trust me your son's coach wouldn't take the time and effort if he didn't care.

All coaches will have their favorites, but not all coaches play their favorite players, because often times those players may not have the talent to play all of the time. This often gets perceived as "coach has favorites and mine isn't one of them".

As your son grows and moves from level to level, a parent has to remove their rose colored glasses, realize that you may have raised the greatest kid in the world who does everything he is supposed to, but lacks the something the coach needs the most, a consistant player who helps win games. CD brings up great points, our value system usually is not the same as the coaches. The coach plays who he needs the most.
JMO.

I do not call it discrimination-- I call it " Coaches Choice"--my son as frosh was better than the senior CF the varsity had bit the Varsity Coach told him "I want you to play every game and I owe something the the senior"---my son had no problem with this not did I---it was his policy and I think it helped my son mature as a frosh because he started every game with the JV and he also sat and watched as many varsity games as he could


Actually he was not cut--he was delegated to the JV


Bottom line: it all worked out because lines of communication were open from day one and not with me but with my son

The question is can a kid that does all the things such as extra batting practice, extra grounders after practice, first in line to prep the field so on and so on be a coaches favorite if he has a flat billed hat? I hope so.

I wonder if more times than not the coaches favorite player is not a starter, but rather one that lives up to the coaches expectation of being the best all around player/person under the definition of that coach.

TPM

quote:

FWIW, my son was one of his favorite players and he got more butt kicking than anyone.

He isn't the only one I am sure who has been through this, trust me your son's coach wouldn't take the time and effort if he didn't care.

The favorites get this treatment because of coach expectations and needed contributions.

OLDSLUGGER your are 100% correct. If a coach does not get on you , does not get in your face , does not push you , you are done. If you have been around this game long enough its a no brainer. We all have expectations of our players. Play hard , work hard , be on time , be coachable , keep your nose clean , be a great team mate , dont whine and complain , and take your butt chewing like a man and understand if I didnt care about you I wouldnt waste my time on you.

It all comes down to be a mentally tough individual. Its not always going to go your way. But you better be a guy that when he gets knocked down he picks himself up and gets right back in the fight. If not you're done. And no coach wants a quitter. They want fighters.

quote:

Originally posted by rz1:
I wonder if more times than not the coaches favorite player is not a starter, but rather one that lives up to the coaches expectation of being the best all around player/person under the definition of that coach.

Kind of reminds me of when I was a teacher. My favorites were not always the smartest, brightest or the kiss ups in the class. My favorites were sometimes the ones who got in the most trouble, yet they were always complaining I didn't like them. I treated them all the same but everyone knew who the favorites were.

I don't think that starters or the best players on the team are always favorites. I have actually seen many favorites be those who sat the bench often.

The point that I was trying to make was that sometimes when players or parents see this from coaches or perhaps teachers, they take this as a negative rather than a positive. What folks have to understand, IMO, is that gettin the job done supercedes all. If your son (or even mine) is sitting the bench, it's not because the coach doesn't like them for who they are.

CPLZ,

Didnt mean it literally for all parents, but there are some who do not get any of it.

PGstaff, very good subject to bring to the table. How many times have we sat in the crowd listening to people complain about who is playing and who is not. My son has been a coach's favorite, we never worried about his playing time, it was never doubted he was deserving by his abilities. Many times I would mention something he did wrong or could have done differently, many times the other parent would tell me to slack off the boy. There were many times we would think to ourselves, hey sit my kid and let someone else get some playing time. I even told the coach, maybe son needs a rest, no way would they agree. "He needs to play".

With my coach if you have a brain, and aren't a cancer to the team, he likes you. Never show negative emotion. Also, doing things that you're supposed to do without anyone telling you to do it.

quote:

Originally posted by Pop Up Hitter dad:
PGstaff, very good subject to bring to the table. How many times have we sat in the crowd listening to people complain about who is playing and who is not. My son has been a coach's favorite, we never worried about his playing time, it was never doubted he was deserving by his abilities. Many times I would mention something he did wrong or could have done differently, many times the other parent would tell me to slack off the boy. There were many times we would think to ourselves, hey sit my kid and let someone else get some playing time. I even told the coach, maybe son needs a rest, no way would they agree. "He needs to play".

Well there is your in, have the high school coach kick him in the rear to get the grades up....

Players do not think or want to admit they are one of the coach's favorites even if they are. When my grandson was a freshmen I told that he was one of the JV coach's favorite players. Even though he got one of the two JV awards as a freshmen (team player of the year) Junior did not believe me because he did not get his starting position back after recovering from an early season injury this past season, his sophomore year. He had bicep tendonitis caused by pitching after improper techniques during weightlifting class. Half the season was over when the doctor finally cleared Junior to resume throwing a ball but he did not immediately get his starting position back. Junior finally asked the coach why he was not starting and the coach told him because he had said that his back still hurt. Next game he tells the coach he is 100% although in reality his back still hurts and he can not keep his pitches down in the zone. Fortunately Junior was not called on to do much pitching. At the time Junior gets back to the starting lineup he is hitting under 200 but he tells the leading hitters that he'll have better stats then them at the end of the year. I think he was upset with having been injured and being referred to as "the cripple" since he was not allowed to throw and take the field during practice without the doctor's clearance. Junior immediately gets on a tear and hits the ball better than I have ever seen him hit. The JV coach(ex major leaguer) congratulated Junior at the end of the season for not giving up and tells Junior that he was impressed at how he worked on his swing while injured and improved it to the extent that he could hit the low pitch as well as or better than the pitch up in the zone. Junior ended up leading the team in most offensive categories and got the offensive player of the year award. During summer ball, a parent of one of Junior's classmate (who started on the varsity as a freshmen and made all league this year as a sophomore) told me that the varsity coach really likes Junior. Told Junior this and he said that he did not think so since he did not make the varsity as a sophomore.

I have a little different view about unfair favoritism (where it exists), and parent's inappropriate involvement - I completely embrace it. And here's why: I'm not trying to raise a ball player, I'm trying to raise a man.

When my son turned 14, I told him it had become time for my role to change with respect to baseball. I told him that from then on my job was only to pay, pitch bp, get him good instruction, drive to games, and give support and whatever advice I could. His role was to work his way onto the field and keep his spot. I told him he had to learn to deal with parents who hated him, coaches who doubted him, and players who wanted to compete with him, and opponents that would be even worse. But he needed to learn deal with them because baseball is just GOOD PRACTICE FOR LIFE.

Its not easy to do, and I've had to remind myself a number of times not to get involved when I've overheard another parent trying to campaign their kid for his position, or when I've felt like I could scream some sense into his coach. But the funny thing is that he succeeds at it better than I ever could on his behalf. His coaches (and in fact most parents) all love him, he speaks up for himself, he can look grown men in the eye, and he's never been treated unfairly a second time at anything.

So I say bring on favoritism, whether it be the "good kind" mentioned above, or the other kind that most people dread. My son will handle it. And for all those parents who still protect their high-school babies - he'll take care of them for you some day too.

Fillsfan,

quote:
The frustrating thing is when a kid does all of that, including the success part and still does get a chance.



...did you mean " still does not get a chance "?

Shortstopmon,

Yes I did, thank you

.

quote:

Originally posted by wraggArm:
I have a little different view about unfair favoritism (where it exists), and parent's inappropriate involvement - I completely embrace it. And here's why: I'm not trying to raise a ball player, I'm trying to raise a man.

When my son turned 14, I told him it had become time for my role to change with respect to baseball. I told him that from then on my job was only to pay, pitch bp, get him good instruction, drive to games, and give support and whatever advice I could. His role was to work his way onto the field and keep his spot. I told him he had to learn to deal with parents who hated him, coaches who doubted him, and players who wanted to compete with him, and opponents that would be even worse. But he needed to learn deal with them because baseball is just GOOD PRACTICE FOR LIFE.

Its not easy to do, and I've had to remind myself a number of times not to get involved when I've overheard another parent trying to campaign their kid for his position, or when I've felt like I could scream some sense into his coach. But the funny thing is that he succeeds at it better than I ever could on his behalf. His coaches (and in fact most parents) all love him, he speaks up for himself, he can look grown men in the eye, and he's never been treated unfairly a second time at anything.

So I say bring on favoritism, whether it be the "good kind" mentioned above, or the other kind that most people dread. My son will handle it. And for all those parents who still protect their high-school babies - he'll take care of them for you some day too.

WOW!... ...Simply a great post....and much needed breath of fresh air on the HSBBW...

You, my friend, completely "get it". The big picture goal, your place, the method, the role of all challenge (athletic, political, familial...) in the athletic process process and their role in shaping and growing our sons into men.

And because you understand that it 'aint about you it is about HIM...you did it without narcissisticly bragging on about his specific baseball achievments...however at the same time there is a real well earned and honest pride here in who he is, and the man he has become, and the role he holds in the future.

Can't say enough good things about this post...One of my favorites ever.

44
.

quote:

Originally posted by wraggArm:
His role was to work his way onto the field and keep his spot. I told him he had to learn to deal with parents who hated him, coaches who doubted him, and players who wanted to compete with him, and opponents that would be even worse. But he needed to learn deal with them because baseball is just GOOD PRACTICE FOR LIFE.

Good stuff.

Parents need to stop protecting their sons and let them take care of business. Whether they think they play too much or play too little, that is not our place to tell coaches how to run their team. How many times have players left teams because they felt their playing time was unfair, coaches were unfair, only to find themselves in the same place on another team. Sometimes we have to stop blaming coaches. Yes, there are coaches who play the butt kissers, the older players, but this is something that your son has to learn to live with and deal with as he progresses. If lack of playing time is something you always find your player doing, maybe it's not because the coach plays favorites. Maybe it's because the coach has his reasons.
We all have been in the same situation with our players at one time or another. I posted once that son spent most of his sophmore and junior year on the bench as a pitcher. There were reasons for it, either the coach felt that HS baseball was just not for the future prospects or because they were not going to abuse his arm, which would have plenty of more meaningful work later on in his life. They wouldn't even let him hit or play a position. Some parents would have been freaking out and this sometimes causes players to get attitudes. Son learned to deal with it, focused more on summer travel ball and as a senior led the team in ERA,BA and HR (they finally gave in) after he plead his case. His HS coach told me that he did that because most of his players playing days end after HS. That's his philososphy.
In the meantime, he is the only one who went on to a top D1 and had success and now plays proball from his HS team. So not playing all through HS didn't really hurt him in the end, did it?
And favorites don't always get an easy ride as I had seen in college. For many players they have to work and prove themselves more than others. Don't always think that talent gets you an automatic start. It took 3 years for son to get his weekend spot. He had to work his way through relief, weekday starts to earn it, and played behind those who had to do the same. That's how his HC does things for pitchers when there are plenty of arms to use. Some parents took this as "playing favorites".
I've seen some really good players in college (who most likely never sat) have to sit their time on the bench with looks on their faces, IMO this is the kiss of death, no coaches will tolerate that. This immediately removes them from their fav list.

Much of this is irrevelant in years below HS. Once you get to college, you will most likely be playing with players that were all starters in their younger years. The coach only plays 9 at a time, good chance that your player may not be one of them for awhile. Understand that this has nothing to do with playing favorites, but a combination of 9 that can get the job done.

PUHD,
I agree with homerun04, why didn't your son's coaches ever get in his face about his grades? IMO, that is a coach's first responsibility, especially with their favorite players because they want to see them exceed not just at baseball, but in teh game of life as well, that is mucho kudos for the coach. Every coach son played for from LL to college, you don't play unless you get it done in the classroom first.