quote:baseball is just GOOD PRACTICE FOR LIFE.
Wow! I love that. If I may with your permission wraggarm,....I'd like to adopt it for my by-line!
Wow! I love that. If I may with your permission wraggarm,....I'd like to adopt it for my by-line!
Wow! I love that. If I may with your permission wraggarm,....I'd like to adopt it for my by-line!
One of the big steps seemed to be when junior got his drivers license. Although I used to like to sit in the background and watch him work with his pitching coach and such, once he started driving, I made it a point not to go. It seemed like he took a step forward in confidence and assertiveness at that point.
PG, I thought your post was perfectly said, until I read the other great piece of advice..."Shut up and hit"
When a player produces he typically plays. I am fairly sure that bad players do not routinely get named MVP.
My kid is a "favorite", but favorite is earned by emulating the traits of the original PG post and producing.
The fastest way to becoming a "favorite" is to work hard,listen, keep eye to eye contact, have good/positive body language and produce.
When a player produces he typically plays. I am fairly sure that bad players do not routinely get named MVP.
My kid is a "favorite", but favorite is earned by emulating the traits of the original PG post and producing.
The fastest way to becoming a "favorite" is to work hard,listen, keep eye to eye contact, have good/positive body language and produce.
quote:When a player produces he typically plays.
Typically.
But, conceptually difficult for some.
We are all under the assumption that our son's played because they were coach favorites.
I don't agree to that, most of our son's played because they got the job done and were needed and most likely filled in PG's #1-10.
I doubt most of our players were always coaches favorites. In son's case, I highly doubt that he played or didn't play because coach played favorites in HS or college. Don't get me wrong, son is the type you want on your team, but he didn't do 1-10 to be a coaches fav to win his spot, he did it because that was HIS job as a player to do so.
Players should strive to be the most talented players and good teammates, that's what it should take to win a roster spot. Good coaches put their favorite feelings aside and play who they need. Players who don't play often, perceive this as favoritism and blame their lack of success on coaches.
I don't agree to that, most of our son's played because they got the job done and were needed and most likely filled in PG's #1-10.
I doubt most of our players were always coaches favorites. In son's case, I highly doubt that he played or didn't play because coach played favorites in HS or college. Don't get me wrong, son is the type you want on your team, but he didn't do 1-10 to be a coaches fav to win his spot, he did it because that was HIS job as a player to do so.
Players should strive to be the most talented players and good teammates, that's what it should take to win a roster spot. Good coaches put their favorite feelings aside and play who they need. Players who don't play often, perceive this as favoritism and blame their lack of success on coaches.
TPM and Homerun, Pop up son's HS coach gets progress reports, he goes by school's low threshold for eligibilty. Must be a want to win coach, and hey he doesn't care about about son, only his own on the team. But that's a subject for another post.
For a few months, our son lost his starting spot in high school and at the time, we blamed "politics" and the fact that our son's replacement was a "favorite" (star QB on the football team, dad roomed with BB coach in college, etc.). In retrospect, while unfair partiality may have been involved, we came to realize that at that time, the replacement player was more mentally tough than our son and didn't let errors get to him. Thankfully, we never uttered a word of complaint to our son. He toughened up and eventually got his starting position back.
tpm
don't agree to that, most of our son's played because they got the job done and were needed and most likely filled in PG's #1-10.
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if they filled in pg's favorite player to do list 1-10. they'd have at least been pg's favorite.
coaches coach to win.the only time favoritism comes into the coversation ,is if your son ISN"T on the field. there are a million excuses in the naked city, playing favorites is just one of them.
don't agree to that, most of our son's played because they got the job done and were needed and most likely filled in PG's #1-10.
---------------------------------------------------
if they filled in pg's favorite player to do list 1-10. they'd have at least been pg's favorite.
coaches coach to win.the only time favoritism comes into the coversation ,is if your son ISN"T on the field. there are a million excuses in the naked city, playing favorites is just one of them.
quote:Originally posted by 20dad:
the only time favoritism comes into the coversation ,is if your son ISN"T on the field.
That's simply untrue. If a coach has players in the field for reasons other than being the best, it's usually apparent to most. And it does happen.
quote:there are a million excuses in the naked city, playing favorites is just one of them.
I agree. Even if the coach is playing the "favorite" (not the pg kind) it is not worth expending energy on since it is out of your control. The key is finding out what it takes to be the favorite and producing when called upon.
The only time in my son's life he sat the bench was for the first five weeks of his collegiate career. Although supportive of him, I refused to be a shoulder to cry on. I told him the reason he was not playing was that he was not good enough and to get busy getting better. He found that the coaches were not all that nice to him either. I told him that they wanted to see improvement and they were going to coach it out of him. Being nice had nothing to do with it. When he finally did get a chance, his career took off. Having to overcome hardship was probably the best thing that has happened to him. Find out what is most important to your coach (e.g., pg's list) and show him overtime that he can trust that you will faithfully execute those things. Moreover, show leadership at all times. Show the coach that no matter what the circumstances, you want what is best for the team. Do whatever is necessary for the team and overtime things will change for the better.
Good post and good example.
Reality is, most of the better coaches are generally good guys, but those types are highly demanding and often don't appear to be "nice" all of the time. I don't know about anyone else, I want my player to play for someone who is a "I will get in your face if I have to" type of coach. There usually is a reason for it. Most players will rise to the occassion, the players who see this as non favoritism towards themselves, usually don't succeed. They use it as an excuse (coach is always on my case and doesn't like me) and don't work harder. Again, if the coach doesn't care about you, he wouldn't waste his time.
Reality is, most of the better coaches are generally good guys, but those types are highly demanding and often don't appear to be "nice" all of the time. I don't know about anyone else, I want my player to play for someone who is a "I will get in your face if I have to" type of coach. There usually is a reason for it. Most players will rise to the occassion, the players who see this as non favoritism towards themselves, usually don't succeed. They use it as an excuse (coach is always on my case and doesn't like me) and don't work harder. Again, if the coach doesn't care about you, he wouldn't waste his time.
What do you want your kid to do when faced with adversity? Do you want him to look for excuses or you do you want him to find solutions? If you offer excuses to assist him in dealing with adversity then that is what he will use. If you teach him to find solutions by working hard , keeping a great attitude not looking for excuses etc then that is what he will do. It doesnt matter if you think he is not playing for political reasons. That will not help him overcome his adversity. What will help him overcome a tough situation will not be found in complaints and excuses. Never has , never will.
I have never had a parent tell me that they didnt think their kid should be in the line up. Of course when comparing their kid with his competition they are going to sway towards their child. Especially if its close and hard to see. But if you want to light a fire under a kid you dont do it with excuses and complaints. You do it with developing a mentally tough confident young man who is willing to fight for what he wants. Those guys will find a way to succeed. The others will find reasons to fail.
The fact is these traits are learned at home. Its one reason kids who go to college to play who have never faced real adversity on the diamond when confronted with it struggle so much. And the ones that have be tested and faced it deal with it and overcome it. Its not a good thing to be away from home for the first time and have to learn this on their own. When parents constantly make sure everything is taken care of for lil Johnny why are they so surprised to find him having a hard time when they are no longer around to take care of things for him?
One of the most important things you can teach a young player is how to be a man. Face the adversity and relish in it. Take it on as a personal challenge. Use it for you not against you. Let it light a fire inside your belly to compete like you have never competed before. And know that no matter how it turns out you stood up faced it and fought. I man can live with that. A boy shrinks in the face of adversity and looks for excuses and complains. When parents offer up excuses dont be surprised to find a player that does exactly the same thing.
I have never had a parent tell me that they didnt think their kid should be in the line up. Of course when comparing their kid with his competition they are going to sway towards their child. Especially if its close and hard to see. But if you want to light a fire under a kid you dont do it with excuses and complaints. You do it with developing a mentally tough confident young man who is willing to fight for what he wants. Those guys will find a way to succeed. The others will find reasons to fail.
The fact is these traits are learned at home. Its one reason kids who go to college to play who have never faced real adversity on the diamond when confronted with it struggle so much. And the ones that have be tested and faced it deal with it and overcome it. Its not a good thing to be away from home for the first time and have to learn this on their own. When parents constantly make sure everything is taken care of for lil Johnny why are they so surprised to find him having a hard time when they are no longer around to take care of things for him?
One of the most important things you can teach a young player is how to be a man. Face the adversity and relish in it. Take it on as a personal challenge. Use it for you not against you. Let it light a fire inside your belly to compete like you have never competed before. And know that no matter how it turns out you stood up faced it and fought. I man can live with that. A boy shrinks in the face of adversity and looks for excuses and complains. When parents offer up excuses dont be surprised to find a player that does exactly the same thing.
Have any other parents ever sat in the stands thinking "I wonder why my son is starting instead of other players who in my eyes are more talented?"
This was my younger son, and the sport was basketball. Son #2 was not a gifted athlete - he's a musician - but played basketball and baseball, and a little football, in middle school and HS.
I actually sat in the stands watching him as a starter on the basketball team and felt guilty that he was out there instead of some friends' sons that I thought were more talented. But at the end of the season when the coach awarded my son the "Hustle Award", coach publicly gave a little speech about son which included a lesson to all players. And the little speech was about numbers 2-10 on PGStaff's list:
1 – Talent
2 – Effort
3 – Intelligence
4 - Coachable
5 – Dependable
6 – Consistent
7 – Honest
8 – Heart
9 – Good team mate
10 – Production
Son #2 didn't have a lot of Talent (1), but he was always the hardest working player, day after day and year after year (2), he was smart and learned the plays and objectives well enough that the coach called him an on-the-court coach (3&4), he had all those qualities in (5-9), and when those were all added up, he produced for the team (10): he made opposing players play worse with his hustle, and pushed his teammates to play better because of his "heart". In spite of being a little short on (1) talent, I think 2-10 made him a coach's favorite.
As others have said above, all of those qualities are good preparation for LIFE!
Julie
This was my younger son, and the sport was basketball. Son #2 was not a gifted athlete - he's a musician - but played basketball and baseball, and a little football, in middle school and HS.
I actually sat in the stands watching him as a starter on the basketball team and felt guilty that he was out there instead of some friends' sons that I thought were more talented. But at the end of the season when the coach awarded my son the "Hustle Award", coach publicly gave a little speech about son which included a lesson to all players. And the little speech was about numbers 2-10 on PGStaff's list:
1 – Talent
2 – Effort
3 – Intelligence
4 - Coachable
5 – Dependable
6 – Consistent
7 – Honest
8 – Heart
9 – Good team mate
10 – Production
Son #2 didn't have a lot of Talent (1), but he was always the hardest working player, day after day and year after year (2), he was smart and learned the plays and objectives well enough that the coach called him an on-the-court coach (3&4), he had all those qualities in (5-9), and when those were all added up, he produced for the team (10): he made opposing players play worse with his hustle, and pushed his teammates to play better because of his "heart". In spite of being a little short on (1) talent, I think 2-10 made him a coach's favorite.
As others have said above, all of those qualities are good preparation for LIFE!
Julie
I definitely agree CoachMay that adversity, if handled properly will make you a better person, not only a better player. I believe that you learn more from negative experiences, or setbacks, than positive ones.
When something negative happens or you fail at something a person has to first admit they failed without excuses. Then they can go about working on what they did wrong and how to be better prepared next time.
The hard part for many people, especially parents, is to admit that Johnny failed and their is no one to blame but Johnny. If excuses are made then their is nothing to correct and the same mistakes will be made over and over.
When something negative happens or you fail at something a person has to first admit they failed without excuses. Then they can go about working on what they did wrong and how to be better prepared next time.
The hard part for many people, especially parents, is to admit that Johnny failed and their is no one to blame but Johnny. If excuses are made then their is nothing to correct and the same mistakes will be made over and over.
quote:Originally posted by shortstopmom:
...If I may with your permission wraggarm,....I'd like to adopt it for my by-line!
Of course, no permission needed. I've heard it said by others.
~ Thank you, wraggArm ~ 
quote:Originally posted by wraggArm:
I have a little different view about unfair favoritism (where it exists), and parent's inappropriate involvement - I completely embrace it. And here's why: I'm not trying to raise a ball player, I'm trying to raise a man.
When my son turned 14, I told him it had become time for my role to change with respect to baseball. I told him that from then on my job was only to pay, pitch bp, get him good instruction, drive to games, and give support and whatever advice I could. His role was to work his way onto the field and keep his spot. I told him he had to learn to deal with parents who hated him, coaches who doubted him, and players who wanted to compete with him, and opponents that would be even worse. But he needed to learn deal with them because baseball is just GOOD PRACTICE FOR LIFE.
Its not easy to do, and I've had to remind myself a number of times not to get involved when I've overheard another parent trying to campaign their kid for his position, or when I've felt like I could scream some sense into his coach. But the funny thing is that he succeeds at it better than I ever could on his behalf. His coaches (and in fact most parents) all love him, he speaks up for himself, he can look grown men in the eye, and he's never been treated unfairly a second time at anything.
So I say bring on favoritism, whether it be the "good kind" mentioned above, or the other kind that most people dread. My son will handle it. And for all those parents who still protect their high-school babies - he'll take care of them for you some day too.
Excellent post! Baseball does provide a learning ground for life. The lessons and challenges there can be compared to all other parts of life. Very good!!