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Advice for a freshman

M MickieD10+ posts
Freshman son is playing JV. They play doubleheaders on Saturdays. The head Varsity coach attends all practices, but a volunteer dad is the JV coach and runs the games. This dad donates a lot of time and money to the team, which gives him a lot of influence.

The first game of first dh son didn't play first game, which meant he is the 2nd string. He didn't agree with the assessment, as he feels he is clearly better than the other player at his position, but he realizes it is not his decision and vowed to work harder to prove himself.

The second dh this past Saturday son sees the lineup card that head coach makes up in advance for JV coach/dad to use. Son sees JV coach/dad cross his name off from first game and move him to 2nd game.

My question is, do I suggest that my son speak with the head coach - or just tell son to keep working hard, playing well and let things play out? I am not even certain the head coach will be interested in what goes on during the JV games.

On one hand I realize that this will go on his entire 4 years of high school here, since coach/dad is also assistant V coach. I can see that the head coach would not want to upset the JV coach just over one player.

Any advice for me to give son? Obviously I am not going to speak to the coach for any reason.
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M MickieD10+ posts
He plays catcher. He would like to also play 2nd or 3rd, but since we have over 25 JV kids he realizes all the kids on JV need to get playing time, so he will probably only play one position.

My gut feeling is to have him keep working hard, keep trying to make 1st string, and keep his observations to himself. We can just chalk this up to a good learning experience of how to properly handle himself like a man - even when outside forces seem to be pushing against him.

However, what to do about next year???
C cabbagedadHSBaseballWeb member since 2011
quote:
Originally posted by MickieD:
...However, what to do about next year???


Between now and then, work hard and get the most out of JV season, work hard in the off season with a good summer program and/or some good instruction and start (if he hasn't already) with a speed/agility/strength conditioning routine. Outwork the other guys. Create clear separation from the pack. Leave no doubt in the coaches' minds... all of them.
Then, the next year, do it again. If he has some ability and he has the desire and willingness to work hard consistently, his day will come.

Revised - Oops, was typing as Lefthookdad posted similar message. I guess there's something to it Cool

P.S. - That's interesting that the V HC attends all JV practices. That means he probably puts in a 7-8 hr day just with his coaching duties. I hope he's appreciated.

P.P.S. - There are several parents who donate extra time and money into our program. It does not give them extra leverage. Not that we don't hear about it but once we ask directly if they think their extra efforts should equate into favored playing time for their kid, it isn't a problem any longer. More importantly, don't use that or allow your son to use that as an excuse.
Last edited by cabbagedad
S seattlestars16100+ posts
I agree with your advice to yourself. Don't worry about next year this year has barely started. He is playing so leave it at that. It seems the varsity coach has already noticed him and that is all that matters. Don't worry about the money donations they are out of your control. Sit back and enjoy the games. It all goes by so fast, no time to worry about such a minor issue, it will resolve itself. The head coach will notice and will not like the lineup card he created being altered by an assitant. If he wanted the assitant to create it he would have let him in the first place.
Three BaggerThree Bagger1,000+ posts
There may be other variables that entered into why the JV coach wanted him in the second game. Maybe it had to do with whether a righthander or lefthander was pitching against them, maybe the coach wanted your son to handle the particular pitcher he was using in the second game, maybe he needed more power, speed, experience or whatever in one game or the other. He is playing half the time on a team with 25 guys and its early in the season. Just let it go, it will work itself out. On varsity, you would hope the varsity coach makes the lineup.
YoungGunDadYoungGunDadHSBaseballWeb member since 2005
Great advise so far.

My 2cents:

You can either:

a) Move to another school during the offseason (grass on the other side isn's always greener!)

b) Sit and sour all season You, your son, and everyone else in your household will be bitter and miserable all season!)

c) Use this as a teaching moment which it seems you already are doing. (watch the magic unfold before your eyes and your son blossom in more ways than just baseball)
T twotex1,000+ posts
Great news: he is playing a position which gets a lot of touches, and he is already getting playing time.

He needs to lengthen the distance between himself and the competition, which is easier to do when you get a lot of touches, and get playing time. It can be really hard to do if you only get a ball or two a game.
Last edited by twotex
M MickieD10+ posts
Bear - I really, really like the idea of suggesting he run onto the field to warm up the pitcher when he is not playing that game. That will really show his willingness to be a team player - and that he isn't fazed by anything that comes his way.

YoungGunDad - none of us are pouting or sour, just looking to make the best of a situation he didn't see coming. Stuff would have to get soooo much worse to consider switching schools. Many kids from our school do switch their junior year (for variety of reasons), but that is not what I want for son.
justbaseballjustbaseball10,000+ posts
MickieD - You're getting some great advice including some of the advice you're giving yourself!

All of these things you're seeing and feeling are re-igniting some of the anxieties I had with three different sons playing HS ball (two moved onto college ball). Even with the two who moved on, that freshman year in HS was filled with worries (some needless, some not) and sometimes it just seemed as the whole thing (playing baseball that is) was in jeopardy.

Looking back, I don't know how I would have erased any of those worries...even today. In fact, as my youngest son is now a freshman college player I find myself worrying all over again even though things seem to be going fine right now.

I guess I would say that sometimes its just tough to 'stay the course' with what you feel in your heart is the 'right thing' in how you talk with your son and behave around the ballpark. Believe me when I say that your attitude in front of your son (and you sound like you have a GREAT attitude and son) will have a very big impact on his growth as a player and a young man.

Hang in there and keep being the great, supportive dad that it sounds like you are indeed...being! Wink
Last edited by justbaseball
YoungGunDadYoungGunDadHSBaseballWeb member since 2005
Mickie, I think my post was misunderstood and I apologize. I didn't mean that any of you already were pouting or sour. Just simply that sometimes that CAN happen. That's all. You seem like a very level headed parent and I doubted this would be your scenario.

As soon as I read your very first post and saw the word "Daddy" I just cringed and knew how the rest of it was gonna go. It never fails and it's a shame.

It's hard to deal with this kind of politics. Much more differently than just being out played by another player, grades, injury, etc. The rose colored glasses are hard to remove off a Coach/Daddy....sometimes. There are exceptions, and Im most certain many of them are here on HSBBW.

Nevertheless, I wish you the best in this situation and that your son doesn't let this discourage his love for the game.

YGD
S stanwood100+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by MickieD:
Bear - I really, really like the idea of suggesting he run onto the field to warm up the pitcher when he is not playing that game. That will really show his willingness to be a team player - and that he isn't fazed by anything that comes his way.


In a similar vein, when my son was a freshman he didn't make the varsity team but he went with the varsity when on road trips. As a freshman, he knew he wouldn't play (although he dressed out and thought "just maybe"!) Well, he never did but what he did do was run out and catch for the coach during pre-game in-and-out and caught the pitchers warm up pitches when ever possible. The senior catcher on the team tolerated him but my son treated the in-and-out as his game. He took it as serious as a real game. He knew that if he put in the time and took care of what he could control then his time would come. His time definitely came.

MickieD, follow your gut. Have your son play the best game he can no matter what game it is. Talent takes care of itself.
Last edited by stanwood
L lambo10+ posts
Control what you can control ,, Your son cannot control the lineup card but he can control how hard he works in practice and when he is penciled into the starting lineup.

Work everyday to get better play it out and if he feels he has a legit beef and deserves to be out there have him sit down with the coach and talk about it.

But only talk about himself as a player and why he feels he should be out there, not degrading other players or saying he is better than so and so. Just why he feels he deserves the oppurtunity to start and be out there.
T twotex1,000+ posts
This advice is for all the guys on the bench. One mistake I have seen is kids on the bench not being mentally in the game. Maybe they are talking to their friends, maybe they are staring into space. All you guys on the bench get yourself in the game mentally. Support your team. Listen to the coach as he's giving instructions.

My son's big break came last year as he was playing JV but dressing for all the varsity games. The varsity catcher had a bad day, and the coach put my son into the game in about the 4th inning. It was a nasty day, lots of wind and cold. To my son's credit, he was mentally ready and played well, enough that the coach felt he needed to reconsider his starting lineup. Within a couple of games my son was the starting varsity catcher, a role he kept for the rest of the season.

You never know when your chance is going to come.
C CBMDad100+ posts
quote:
This advice is for all the guys on the bench. One mistake I have seen is kids on the bench not being mentally in the game. Maybe they are talking to their friends, maybe they are staring into space. All you guys on the bench get yourself in the game mentally. Support your team. Listen to the coach as he's giving instructions.

My son's big break came last year as he was playing JV but dressing for all the varsity games. The varsity catcher had a bad day, and the coach put my son into the game in about the 4th inning. It was a nasty day, lots of wind and cold. To my son's credit, he was mentally ready and played well, enough that the coach felt he needed to reconsider his starting lineup. Within a couple of games my son was the starting varsity catcher, a role he kept for the rest of the season.

You never know when your chance is going to come.


Great story, I love making my Son read stuff like this. I know I sound like a broken record with stuff like that but when someone else says the same thing it helps it sink in. thanks again
zombywoofzombywoof1,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by twotex:
This advice is for all the guys on the bench. One mistake I have seen is kids on the bench not being mentally in the game. Maybe they are talking to their friends, maybe they are staring into space.

You never know when your chance is going to come.


This is SO true. How often has anyone seen this happen? Players waiting for their shot to get in the game, finally get their shot and mess up because they mentally weren't ready because their head was in a different place. Sure it's difficult to go thru a season with little playing time but these are the players who have to make the most of their chances when they get them. If they get their shot and their head is somewhere else, they can forget about seeing the field for a long time. They have to be ready so when they do get their shot, they make the most of their opportunities. These are the times they can possibly make an impression on the coach to eventually win a starting spot Also, these coaches know who's goofing off on the bench so the best thing to do is keep your head in the game.

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