Advice for the benchwarmer

Don't know what age we are talking about but it really doesn't matter. Certainly not one of the funner times in raising children. It's a character building situation though, a life lesson in reality, for both son and parent(s).

Having experienced this scenario more than I wanted, taking the high road was always best. Don't take it that I always did, but have learned in the long term, it did. I know my family tired of my response, "take it as a life lesson...and learn from it."

Besides, most kids learn to identify jerks like the coach you described who make it into their lives, be it sports or otherwise. The sooner they learn to handle it, the better.

Another chapter of Life 101.

quote:

Originally posted by fl2015:
What do you do when the coach really does play favorites? I thought my son was being overly sensitive and impatient until I spoke to one of the other parents whose son is also being given a hard time. This coach plays kids whose dads are his friends. One kid was allowed to play who never went to any of the practices, and obviously has never played before. He also curses at the players quite often. My son has worked very hard conditioning and practicing; he is now one of the fastest runners on the team, and he doesn't miss practices. Yet, the coach only allowed him to bat once during and entire game, and that was all the playing time he got. My son is also a natural "side-arm" pitcher. The coach gave him some excuse about learning to throw the other way, but I've heard this could cause injuries. Is there any way to deal with an organization like this without causing further problems?

You need to be more specific, how many games has he played with this coach, and what is the age of the players and grade (your is a frosh)? Is this for fall ball?

Before replying to this thread, I suggest that posters here first take the time to read the nearly identical 2 page thread started by the OP.

Advice for the "benchwarmer".

quote:

Originally posted by 3FingeredGlove:
Before replying to this thread, I suggest that posters here first take the time to read the nearly identical 2 page thread started by the OP.

Advice for the "benchwarmer".

Thanks for the heads up, I usually try to check, I messed up completely.

Is this the same coach? May just well be that the player is a bench player and unless he excels in something he will sit the bench. Just because he throws from the side doesn't make him a pitcher, and just because he runs fast doesn't make him a hitter. JMO.

We don't know the entire situation, but I don't beleive the coach is all at fault.

quote:

Originally posted by fl2015:
Is there any way to deal with an organization like this without causing further problems?

In a word... NO, not in the way you'd like it too. Even letting Jr handle it, it still may not work out the way you'd like. The first thread you started in the summer has a ton of great replies, go back and re-read CoachWs and RJMs replies!

GED10DaD

I like sidearm pitchers. I've known some who had some success. If you look at the major leagues, the low slot is a little more common than you would guess by listening to conventional wisdom.

As far as what to do about the coach....its pretty tough to fight city hall. Regrettably, there are some coaches who aren't very good. If this coach has a consistently good team, maybe he understands some things. If he's consistently in the middle of the pack, maybe what you're seeing is part of the reason.

quote:

Originally posted by fl2015:
What do you do when the coach really does play favorites? I thought my son was being overly sensitive and impatient until I spoke to one of the other parents whose son is also being given a hard time. This coach plays kids whose dads are his friends. One kid was allowed to play who never went to any of the practices, and obviously has never played before. He also curses at the players quite often. My son has worked very hard conditioning and practicing; he is now one of the fastest runners on the team, and he doesn't miss practices. Yet, the coach only allowed him to bat once during and entire game, and that was all the playing time he got. My son is also a natural "side-arm" pitcher. The coach gave him some excuse about learning to throw the other way, but I've heard this could cause injuries. Is there any way to deal with an organization like this without causing further problems?

Teach him to hit. If you hit well, they'll always find a spot for you (just look at Manny Ramirez).

There is some (disputed) evidence that sidearmers can have arm problems just because they throw sidearm. There was a study done sometime last year to this end. Personally, I would teach your son to release the ball 3/4 or overhand (whichever is more comfortable. A kid who can throw from several arm slots is more deceptive (and by extension, more likely to be successful if he can control it)

Yesterday I was watching what I think was a 14 or 15U game finish up before my son's 18U doubleheader started. It reminded me of how much the relative abilities of baseball players change between, say, 12 and 16. As a parent it can be difficult to realize that every year the relative ranking changes. Johnny All Star sometimes fades into the background as the years go by. This is just a fact of life. And sometimes Jimmy Benchwarmer pulls ahead at 16. You just don't know.

My point is that being objective can be difficult. What looks like favoritism could be a reflection of reality. Or maybe the skill levels are so close that the coach goes with what he knows.

If it is true favoritism, there is not much to be done. If the difference between one player and the next is too close, then it is up to the player to put more distance between himself and his competition. My son was in this position last high school season - he did not come into the season with enough intensity to win the starting role at his position. With some work and a change of attitude, he won the starting position before the end of the season. He controlled what he could control, and when the other player messed up and he got his chance, he was ready.

You mentioned in a prior post that your son was working with an instructor. What did the instructor say? I recall that the instructor was fairly young, so you might want to get an additional opinion.

Your son is still young, and has time to improve and move up the ladder.