Am I being too hard on my son?

Sounds like you have a high achieving academic son, a good kid who may or may not be a good enough hitter to make it at the college level right now.

For myself and many may disagree but I think the desire to be better at baseball needs to be self driven . It is obvious from what you say that your son works hard in school and is very successful. An engineering degree is an awesome degree, and a successful lifestyle if finished.

     Playing college ball and doing engineering is tough and many change their degrees. The extra time needed to succeed at the college level can interfere with academics.

  A D3 is a better fit for academics/baseball and I am sure there may be many he may be able to make the team with.

  My advice to you, I am a mom, my son played D1 baseball and is playing professionally probably for his last season.

  Love your son, encourage and praise him for all the things he does right, learn his heart,learn his dreams, encourage them. Tell him every day how much you love him,how much you admire his hard work in the classroom.

  Let him know baseball is his dream and that you will support him in any way you can but will not push or nag, or be critical if he doesn't want to pursue it beyond HS

 

  The relationship you build is everything, baseball can become too important and can cloud ones emotions at times, Step back and make sure the real important things are what matters. IF baseball is important enough to him he will work hard at it. If it isn't then let it go.

 

 

Great Response fanofgame!

 

 

baseballparenttx,

As I read you post, I was planning to respond.  But fanofgame said it far better than I would!

Thank you Fanofgame, Very wise words and truly appreciate it. I do want to add that I have told him that if he does not want to play college ball that is fine with me and support that. I personally feel drained that with all this. We want him to be happy, he is the one that wants to play and gets pretty upset when he doesn't do well. We have our moment that we bang heads but what parents don't with their kids for whatever reason or sport. I feel if you want something work hard and if you still can't achieve then be proud you did your best but if you don't put the time and you are not performing then I cannot handle complaining and whining. 

 

We treasure every moment with your kids and yes sometime we all fall short of doing what's right but we do love our kids. We aren't perfect and I do appreciate your comments, they were well said. 

 

 

Great response/advice from fanofgame.

Agree with fanofgame 100%.  He has to want this, not anyone else.  Support him in whatever decision he makes - even if that is choosing not to play baseball at the next level.

 

As far as JUCO's go, I wouldn't discount that route too quick.  Not everyone gets to the D1/D2 level right out of HS.  My son has completed one year at a JUCO and had a great spring season.  He didn't seem to do well at first, but the coach kept putting him in the line up (DH) so he must have kept seeing something in practice.  He eventually secured the DH position and was the primary backup for 1B.  Finished the season batting over .300, 2HR's, 7 doubles, 24 RBI's and 17 runs scored - not bad for a freshman.

 

As far as hitting goes, it really doesn't matter what he does in the cage.  He'll need to take what he's doing in the cage and transfer it to the game.  Good defensive players are a dime a dozen.  Good defensive players that can hit well are far fewer.  If a player can hit, they'll find a place for him.

 

And yes, coaches (especially at college) will be hard on all players.  My son got a quick wake up call last fall.  Coach gave the players a week to settle into school then the two-a-day's started - condition at 6 am for 2 hours with a 3 hour practice in the afternoon.  After 2 weeks the morning conditioning stopped, but the practices continued.  He saw limited action in the 20 game fall season - had 7 hits in 13 AB's and played about 14 innings total.  Didn't make the travel squad until the last weekend (only 25 out of the 35 man roster go on away games).

 

And there's no guarantee's the following year.  In my son's case, the college hired a new head coach so he'll have prove himself again.  His new coach is doing things different - starting practice a week BEFORE school starts.

 

Good luck in whatever your son chooses to do.

 

All great advice and much appreciate the feedback. This is what I need to hear. He does do what he needs to do but well being Dad it's hard to let go on certain levels and this is one of them. I will always be there for him but he does need to take ownership and maybe I haven't given him that and I need to so he can find out for himself. 

 

As for JUCO's he says he will never go that route, not that he thinks he's better than those players but he does not want to waste his time where he has the academics to go to a 4 year school with no problem. He often says if he could hit like his 3.99 GPA or 399 Average he would be set but he just wants to play college ball. Thanks again

Baseballparent... My son's hitting went to the next level when I stopped providing the instruction. It had nothing to do with my knowledge level. I had been a hitting instructor. The problem was my son had hit the wall on hearing what I had to say. He was more focused with a hitting instructor.

Great posts by all.  I just want to address the "live pitching" issue.  There are many kids who can light it up in the cage or in BP but struggle in games.   I think there are a variety of reasons for this (e.g., speed, consistency, balls with no movement, no pressure, etc.).   What I found works well is to grab some pitchers who have the same issue (that is, need to throw live) and get in a batting cage (with an L-screen and the appropriate safety protection, of course) and have the pitchers throw "an inning" and rotate.  Take two or three pitchers and two or three batters and a catcher and let them see some live pitching.  Of course, you can do this outside, as well, but it's a great way to get hitters and pitchers the game experience they need.  Pay attention to the pitch counts and play game situations.   Just a thought.  The life advice in this thread is outstanding.

This is what I need to hear. He does do what he needs to do but well being Dad it's hard to let go on certain levels and this is one of them. I will always be there for him but he does need to take ownership and maybe I haven't given him that and I need to so he can find out for himself.

 

Of the thousands of responses I've read from parents coming here seeking advice on difficult issues fraught with emotion, yours is one of the most profound. You're humble, and obviously a very good listener.

 

Maybe turn that same humility and open-minded ear toward your son ... and who knows? He really MIGHT transfer his cage skills to the field! Especially if you get him a really good hitting instructor.

 

Either way, your son is lucky, and he will clearly be fine.

parentbaseballtx,

 

I agree with others, and want to add a point or two:

 

1) Loosen your grip a little and let his desire drive this.  He has to want this on his own.  Totally agree with fanofgame.

 

2) Let someone more experienced (and not his Dad) work with his hitting.  I'm sure you've been doing a great job with him, but the bottom line is you are Dad.  Let someone else tell him what you've been telling him for years. 

 

3) If he is focused on D3 academic schools, most likely he will get an opportunity due to his grades, SATs (I presume are in line with his grades), and baseball skills.  Whether or not he finds the college field or earns a starting spot in 4 years will be determined by his hitting progress.

 

4) Engineering and college baseball is a very difficult road to go down at any level of college baseball.   I would seriously look into this, and make sure you & he fully understand the commitment and workload.   There are many factors to consider. I have been down this road twice, and I'm very familiar with the "scenery".   You can Private Message me through the Dialog icon in the top right corner if you want to discuss engineering as it relates to college baseball.   

 

Good luck!

Just a thought. 

If his desire is a career in the engineering field, then that should be his priority. 

That could be his future paycheck, not baseball. (and engineering grads at top schools get pretty good starting salaries on average) 

Take a look at college club baseball. Very competitive, organized, and will allow a student to pursue a demanding academic degree like engineering. 

www.clubbaseball.org/

 

My oldest son is doing this exact same thing at a great academic institution and still playing competitive baseball. 

allow the boy to get thre on his own

Parent:

have you interview your son as to what he would really desire for his next step.

Define consistency in hitting as it relates to your son.

A few minutes ago I returned from a 2 hour hitting session conducted by my son Robert.

He is teaching two players to hit from the left side. They are 15 and 17 years of age.

His system of teaching is devise from his visits with the SF Giants players and coaches.

 

1st he teaches hitting a "fun" to be enjoyed. He also teaches the hitter to teach himself.

Are you from the Houston area?

 

Bob

 

As a coach I always told parents that their son does not need them when they go 3-3 or pitch a shutout etc. they need them when they go 0-4 with a couple of ks or as a pitcher gets knocked around or makes a few errors. I remember going into the stands to ask a parent to leave as he was on his son so much. Lets be honest we are talking about a game here. If the worst thing that happens to a kid in his life is that he strikes out 3 times in a baseball game he will be the lucky one. I always found out who my best players were not so much how they reacted to success but how they handled failure.

Ask him if you are pushing too much. It can open up an interesting conversation.