Sorry I am late in responding, thanks for sharing your son journey.
One of the biggest things that baseball parents think about is how our sons will react after they stop playing.
There is life after baseball, for them and us.
Son and dad don't play catch anymore, but now share so much more than baseball.
Again, thanks for the great post, now I know why you didn't respond to my pm.
Best of luck to your son in his new adventure.
Keep in touch.
I loved every word and felt like this should be a published article actually.
Thank you for sharing. I feel like the next chapter in the next book will be just as good and enjoyable too.
GOOSEGG,
Thanks for the story. Sounds like your son was/is a major overachiever. How could anyone wish for anything better. You should be very proud!
The end can be a sad day, but the future can be very bright. Somehow in many ways baseball stays with us long after the playing days.
Awesome post, Gooseegg!
P.S. -- By the way, touching 90 mph at 5'10" 140 lbs is really hard!
Awesome post Goose!
My son hung up his cleats last year after 3 years of college ball (2 yrs JuCo and 1 D2). When the D2 didn't renew his scholarship he went back to JuCo and earned his Associates Degree and is working on his Bachelor's at ETSU. Hopefully he will be done in 3 semesters.
You never know when the baseball road will end and even if you do, it is sort of a shocker. Kind of like, "Now what?"
All I know is after watching our son play LL, travel, JV, V, Legion and finally college, I never look at a baseball field the same way. Lots of memories.
It's been a pleasure watching our son mature as a baseball player and as a young man. He's got a plan and he's following it.
Thanks for sharing that Goosegg!
Thanks Goose as I can relate. My son appears to be done with baseball as well (still might play club ball in college) but he has mentally moved on into his collegiate life and will not look back. It's been an amazing journey but it's only the beginning for him. Best of luck to your son.
This post should be handed out at travel baseball games.
K9 posted:This post should be handed out at travel baseball games.
90% of TB parents would just think it wouldn't apply to THEIR kid, hopefully the other 10% find this site.
Very good story, thanks for sharing the journey. The OP referenced that when his son considered retiring, he would be forced to repay a portion of his signing bonus? I didn't know signing bonuses would have to be repaid if a prospect voluntarily retires. This is a good thread so I don't want my question to derail the original topic so if anyone knows the answer about bonus repayment, you are welcome to PM me.
Great post and many gold nuggets as you explain the process. Many familiar feelings.
Best of luck hes going to do awesome. He already has
If we had a thread "when my kid hung them up" by the time anyone whose kid is done playing finished the thread they would need a bucket and a box of tissues. I got well eyed just reading Goose's post.
Short version: My son hung them up in a doctor's office. I remember sitting in the locker room not wanting to take off my uniform for the last time.
Wow. Sounds like a tear jerker. I alsways tell my kids play like it is the last time you will ever play, because one day it will be the last time . Sometimes you get to make the decision to stop playing and move on and other times it is made for you. Both are tough. I remember my last game...I didnt know it was my last game until two years later. No one ever told me, I got the message.
Great story Goosegg! Son just starting his college career and we played catch all summer. I've always loved throwing with him. It used to be I asked him, this summer he kept asking me. He loves the game and doesn't expect to ever see proball, but given the chance would jump at it. I hope he always wants to play catch with me, in fact he keeps wanting me to get a new glove because my 30 year old rawlings doesnt have much padding left to catch his fastballs.
Great story Goosegg. I am glad you shared your son's journey and in such detail. I always enjoy reading your posts especially those that affirm the- importance of academics and the balance of baseball and school. You definitely have a special relationship with your son. The last time I caught with my son, was on a soccer field with a net behind me to catch those I missed (felt the sting in my glove).
Hey, baseball may be in the rear view mirror now..but before long it will be back in the "front windshield" when Goosegg, Jr, Jr comes along. 
Fantastic and moving post, Goosegg. Your honesty and perspective is refreshing and enlightening. Thanks so much for sharing.
Been out of town and just catching up.
Great post, Goosegg!
Don't let this site fade into your rear view mirror. You have much to contribute here still.
Goosegg,
What a wonderful post.. Thank you for all that you have contributed over the years. I have enjoyed reading your thoughts and wisdom.
Having gone through this with my son a couple of years ago I know what you are going through. For us parents the baseball just ends. You will miss it and eventually move on to other things. For our son's everything new will open up and they are on with the rest of their lives. All made better by the fact that they were baseball players!
Best of luck to your son in his new career.
Thank you for sharing. That is a wonderful story.
Awesome story Goosegg
I had a revelation a couple of weeks ago. We were sitting in a coaches office discussing things, we talked at the normal routine things and then he said something that hit me. For summer ball they will place him in one of the leagues between the Carolinas and Maine...that doesn't sound like much on the surface but think deeper. A year from now he is in school, comes home here and there and over the holidays, goes back to school and the spring will be very busy. The season ends and he is home briefly and then gone for the summer, then back to school to repeat the process...I was ready for the leaving for school part but I didn't think about it fully to include the summer.
I am ok with it, I guess, it just made the process of independence much clearer. When they leave for the first year they never really come home again...exciting (for him) yes, scary (for both of us) yes, very proud and to be honest frightening (for me)...at least I have the year to prepare.
These types of posts are so helpful to me (as a dad of a younger player). Reminds me to reset and evaluate. Thanks for sharing.
A year or so ago my son and I were on a field doing tee work when another father and son asked if they could take up a part of the field to throw. The kid looked older...I assumed he was a HS senior but honestly didn't pay much attention, just saying hi as they walked by. We continued hitting and they threw for about 15 minutes and stopped. As they walked back by us, they stopped and talked for a minute. Turns out the son, who I now noticed was obviously older than HS, had already been through his D1 and minor league experience. He was 28, out of baseball and had moved on to a career. They were just there playing catch.
Both father and son were looking at me and my son and I knew they were seeing themselves. They just had that look, a gaze where you could see them dancing in between the present and past and I felt for them both as they offered a few stories, a few words of advice and encouragement.
From what I saw, your days of playing catch don't necessarily have to end, and I damn sure am going to appreciate the ones I have left. Good luck to your son.
I'm speechless.
Thank you
Baseball never fades and never dies.
Your son is only beginning his baseball journey, the best part lies ahead. Soon, he will be playing catch with his son/daughter, coaching their teams, and watching them play.
It just gets better and better.
Goosegg posted:Today I played catch with my son - I don't know when we'll do again what seemed so routine for so many years. Today I closed a circle which began almost 20 years ago teaching him to play catch. Today he left, driving across the country to his first foray into the "real" world; a real job, a career, bills, leases, sick leave, and the rest. Today baseball fades into the family rear view mirror.
I am writing this to give you the path we traveled - not to provide a roadmap which others can follow; rather to give the guideposts we used and which lead us to today.
Baseball gave S opportunities. Opportunities to push his limits - physically, mentally, emotionally. Baseball took a very introverted kid and forced him out of his comfort zone; took a small kid and taught him to complete with stronger, bigger and better. Taught him to win with grace and lose gracefully; taught him self-discipline; taught him how to prioritize, focus, and to compartmentalize; taught him that a failure in baseball is not a failure in life.
In short, baseball was a big foundation stone in who he is today.
But, as important as baseball was to his development, IMHO, it was the simultaneous family focus on filling up his intellectual potential which was even more important. So, it was a constant push-pull of baseball and academics - one never sacrificed for the other; both equal parts of the "contract."
(The path): S began with T-ball and progressed to local travel ball (around 10 years old), HS (small, private academically focused, baseball awful), college, summer college leagues, and into proball (senior single digit round budget pick).
He began pitching at 9 - mostly because he really wasn't anything more then a strictly average hitter and because he was left-handed. At EVERY stage he was never the best - just the kid who was good enough to constantly advance, improve, and compete at the next level.
We devoted our baseball budget to local travel (never went more than a four hour drive), lessons (both hitting and pitching, though hitting was a waste; both beginning when he was 9), and traveling the country going to MILB and college summer games. Once it became clear he had a chance to play college ball, he attended Stanford and Head First summer camps and also played scout baseball.
In HS (he began HS around 105 lbs and 5' 2") he began pitching lessons with the "guru" who kept him advancing. To us, the PC made the difference; so, one piece of advice is find the right PC.
Because S was never the "elite" player, our focus was always getting to the next level; from rec ball, all-star was the goal; then travel ball was the goal; then HS, etc. (And, yes, I particularly was the over-involved dad; taking time off to drag the field, watching practice, watching lessons. Yes, it was too much- but it never broke him.)
During our travels, we began visiting college campuses when he was 12. Got nothing out of the early visits; but, as familiarity set in, visiting campuses became very productive - his tastes changed over time from small towns to big cities, from warm weather to cold and back again, from schools with specific majors to not, from caring about the quality of baseball facilities to caring about the labs. But every visit was simply laying another brick in the wall - allowing him to internalize what he cared about. Simultaneously, the family constantly discussed college - costs, majors, size, etc.
He finished his standardized testing in September of junior year and the results dove-tailed with his grades. His course cirriculum was the school's most rigorous - and his AP scores also matched his grades. (Now, there is no question, we were lucky - the kid has a brain and a love of reading. But, we were very aware of his education; we had contact with his teachers, had an on-line method to check his progress, and never cut him slack,)
His velo advanced from 70 mph in ninth grade to 90 as a senior. He grew and was 5' 10" and 140 lbs at graduation. Scout ball had attracted pro attention along the way. He turned down a 100% offer (baseball and academic) to the local D1 power (a great decision since his college career was mostly a disaster and he would have been cut after year one). As a result of HF and Stanford, he had dozens of calls with D3s and mid-level D1s.
Alomg the way, mom and dad decided to "build the box" of what we considered acceptable colleges and let him select from within the box. He agreed to that approach. As a result, we were all on the same page - a huge positive because the recruiting process is pretty stressful.
He OVed three schools (September, three consecutive weekends). All in the same conference; all high academics; each very different; any would have been a great choice. He chose the program M and D liked least; turns out it was the exact right choice for him. His coach was a life - not a baseball specific - mentor; and only he could detect those vibes during recruiting. After watching college ball for so many years, I now know that this coach had the patience and touch to allow him to develop at his own pace. (As an aside, because he matriculated, his sister was given a sibling designation during admissions which put her over the top and will graduate next year with full time employment in place already from the same college.)
He attended a college across the country - no way mom and dad could watch the painful maturation process (whew); weather was awful; baseball was not a priority. His major changed several times; but, the school he chose has no easy majors and he settled on economics. Finished dead middle of the class - a good result (through M and D had to lower expectations which were wildly inflated).
One curve we dealt with was that he was drafted out of HS. While we had home visits, actually getting drafted was a wrinkle to be dealt with. The college would not allow him to delay matriculation beyond two years and we would not allow him to forego leveraging his baseball into a internationally renown college. So, he priced himself out of the market. (In hindsight, the smart move.)
College baseball was - mostly - a disaster. He set school records for wild pitches and walks (both season, game and inning records); last game junior year he was left off the travel squad. On the bright side were strikeouts - lots per inning. He played Northwoods after freshman year and made their post-season all-star team and lead the league in strikeouts; he played in the Cape second season and was probably the worst player in the league. By the end of junior year, the dream to play at the next level was over and he got himself a job as intern-economist at MLB NY.
BUT, despite the baseball challenges, he grew and matured; had a robust group of athlete and non-athlete friends, and learned economics. His baseball struggles did not impact his identity.
Beginning senior year, he interviewed and received lots of offers and accepted a job as a consultant with an international company. He was ready for the real world.
Lightning in a bottle was captured senior year; turns out, with all pressure to perform gone, baseball can be fun. Wildness disappeared, he lead the NCAA in a major strikeout category, and was drafted.
His pro career was the same ups and downs. Lots of walks, wild pitches and strikeouts. He worked is butt off in the off seasons, and was unable to get over the control hump. I could write a novel about his pro experience (and the stress M and D felt every game); but let's say since he was never a true prospect, there was no time or attention paid to getting him over the hump (true prospects are given every opportunity to get over that hump).
He had always expressed that as soon as he felt he couldn't advance, he would retire. (IMO, that was a real issue - if you're planning an exit strategy, you're not "all in." And a player must be all in - the competition certainly is!)
So, when he reported for his last ST, he was throwing the best he's ever thrown. Sitting 92, touching 94. But, the organization didn't like his tweaked delivery (he had simplified the delivery to have fewer moving parts and loved the result; but the club PCs hated it and told him that on his first ST bull pen). Didn't make it out of extended for a month - and recognized the handwriting on the wall. (Once the handwriting was recognized, the fun of the game evaporated.) On top of that the organization was on its third minor league PC in three years - each with a different philosophy- and had totally eliminated the role he had been told was his.
After several release requests were turned down (he could retire but would've needed to repay a significant portion of his bonus which had been spent for food and other expenses), his final outing pushed the club over the edge, and poof it was done. No tears; no teeth knashing; turned down multiple affiliated and Indy offers following the release and came home. He burnished his resume, contacted the company which hired him before the draft, had tons of interviews and wound up accepting the original company offer in a city of his choice. The interviews inevitably revolved around his baseball experience - the time spent playing (and not interning or otherwise working) was a huge positive during the job hunt.
Imo, the best decision we made was leveraging baseball into a school he would otherwise not have been admitted. That decision lead to a school which offered athletes legit, substantial, meaty majors, was a job factory with a huge alumni network, and which prepared him for the next 40 years. It allowed him to have his cake and eat it too.
So, today I played my last game of catch. And, as I waved to him as he drove off, there is an equal mixture of pride, satisfaction, happiness and sadness. Boy, did I love the last catch.
Sorry for the length, but it's cathartic!
Very well written! I enjoyed every minute of it.
