Are you missing your son already?

Absolutely! The "pain" is really being felt in my checking account! "Here, let me just put a little more in your account so you can..." After all, it's only a few more weeks until......... My head knows it's ridiculous.
But my heart doesn't listen

my son is just getting ready to begin his senior
season and I can see the end is near. It just
seems like little league ended.

my youngest leaves in 7 days...yes, I am missing him...

walked into his room this morning...just had to stand and watch him sleep...

Ouch, ya'll bring back the memories of doing this last year when we took our oldest 7 hours away.

As it went, we loved the school, absolutely friendly, lots of southern accents, tea served cold and sweet, lots of cute little blonds speaking with those little southern accents, son bonded immediately with fellow baseball frosh-it was all good. But when it came time to go (the schedule blandly said, following a Bar-B-Que, "Parents depart campus"), as much as I thought I could muster up something intelligent to say, or witty, or perhaps inspiring, maybe even funny, I managed only two words: "Be good". My throat felt like it had a basketball in it, and I turned and walked away and couldn't look back. Neither my wife nor I spoke a word in the car for at least 45 minutes, and our plan to drive a couple hours then turn in for the night turned into a straight through 7 hour drive as neither of us felt like sleeping anyway.

You do recover, really, but it is a tough day. Just soak in the orientation, pick up a hard copy of the College's handbook (very handy down the road), enjoy likely the last time you'll see your son's room in a somewhat neat state, and pray without ceasing.

There is no easy way to do this. You have been so involved in his life up to this point, watching every game, hearing every doubt and fear and complaint, rejoicing in every triumph - and now you leave him somewhere to make it on his own. At least in kindergarten it was OK for you to hover at the door sometimes - now you must turn him over to other forces, and stand aside. Sitting in the stands, making small waves acknowledged with a slight shoulder shrug in your direction - how different from the days when you were the dispenser of GatorAid!!
The best part?
All of your love and involvement has produced a young man who can make it on his own - the next few years will produce an adult who will amaze and bless you. Please trust your son to do the right thing MOST of the time - and when he doesn't trust he will apply to life the principles that baseball has taught him. If you are anything like me, you will be delightfully amazed at what he has learned from this great game!

Orioles fan-
Beautiful post. Thank you! You put everything I'm feeling into words...

quote:

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At least in kindergarten it was OK for you to hover at the door sometimes

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And this is the hardest part...no more hovering!

hovering...that's one thing I do so well...

and now I'll have to find something else I'm good at...

We're sending our oldest off to college in a little over 2 weeks. Some days I really feel like I'm prepared for it ... after all, look how mature he has been acting this summer with an almost-fulltime job, working alongside adults and making decent money, getting to work on time every day, 7:00 am! And he spends so much time with his steady girlfriend that we know we have been somewhat replaced in his affections, anyway (she's great and we approve).

But reading this thread, I realize I'm not ready. He's not home much, but when he does come in the door, he actually looks for me, says "Hi, Mom, I'm home", and sits and visits for a few minutes; wonders what time Dad is coming home. I know I'm going to miss hearing "Hi, Mom, I'm home" every day ... but at the same time I'm excited for him to keep growing and maturing, and I know he's headed off to a great school to do that (and play baseball).

Parenting is an amazing job ... we work so hard, it brings a lot of joy and a few frustrations, and if we're good at what we do, we eventually are fired. This great big man-child has grown into more man than child, and is ready to find his own path. He has also become one of the favorite people for his parents to spend time around, but now we have to step aside and let him spend most of his time with other people and places. It's okay, though, because we know we've built a solid foundation for him to stand on. But doggone, we're going to miss him!

Thanks for sharing....I have another year before my son leaves for college, but you all are making it clear that I need to take this year slow and enjoy it as much as possible.

I don't think that I have any standing to comment on this because mine is traveling about 5 minutes down the road (on a bad traffic day)--although I have been told I am not allowed on campus so perhaps he will be just as far away in a sense as the others. (have to choose another running route as mine goes through campus!)

But as a parent, I have to say that I have enjoyed each and every day I have been lucky enough to have had with my son. I can't think of one that I regret (even the times when I got hopping mad). But I am ready to watch him spread his wings and fly. (mother bird analogy, whereas I have been more like a mother lioness to him) I love getting the (very occasional) phone calls home when he is gone, as he is now. I love hearing about his adventures and I love discussing the occasional puzzle over an issue. I love knowing that he is happy with his almost-adult life and I frankly like his independence.

(If I'm posting about how much I miss him a couple of months from now, you can pull this thing up and make me eat my words)

Bordeaux... 5 Minutes!!!!

I will remind you ....if you'll remind me "that this too shall pass" we will make it just fine.

BK...deal. Although I may be too proud to admit it here anyway!

JBB,
Thank you, thank you, thank you, I thought we were the only ones!
Orioles Fan,
Great post!
Dropped by to see the HS coach this afternoon. It was very emotional. His words to me:
"If you ever doubted that you at times messed up in raising your son, know that you have done your job well, which was preparing him for this moment".
We leave for school in 48 hours.
Best of luck to everyone!

Ladies and gentlemen, moms and dads ... whoever the heck is posting on this thread ... you are making ME cry and mine is done with college, living his dream in the northwest, and returning to the fold while yours are all taking off.

And now, since I have "been there, done that, and have the t-shirt", I can tell you all that this future you are anticipating will bring changes and maturation of your "baby boys" that you couldn't even fathom a year ago. And one day, the college days will also be behind them and they will be going forward ... again ... onto another adventure, living some kind of dream, all grown up "men" who have the world ahead of them.

Cherish them, hug them, and if you think of it ... please give them a kiss on the cheek from me as well.

It is a traumatic time in OUR lives when our young sons walk out the door to face the cruel world. It’s the grand finale of events that have been happening for many years. Let him go. . . . Bade him a tearful farewell. Smile as he departs the nest. Don’t be upset. Now, if he has any thoughts about staying at home . . . . . That’s when you should get upset!
Fungo

Bordeaux- a lady at my son's college said she cried like all get out, and she was taking her daughter 2 blocks to campus, and the mpom worked at the campus! It's a change whether they're 7 minutes or 7 hours away. Good luck.

It is a sad day........but it is your own fault for spending the time, energy, and love making him the young man he is today. Give yourself a pat on the back and watch him take the next step. If you did not have these feelings your son would not be where he is today.

walked by his room this morning again...he was sleeping and his feet were hanging over the bottom of the bed...gigantic toes and feet...

sticking out of the covers....

oh where did my baby go?

(sorry...will somebody just pat me on the back or hit me in the head...I've got to stop doing this)

but his room is just down the hall....

Know the feelings you are all expressing. It is quite a contrast when you drop them off at school and get very emotional while they are so happy and anxious to start this new journey. One suggestion is to have plans to be busy when you return home and make sure those plans include scheduling your next trip to watch them during Fall baseball. Still remember watching the first game of my son's Fall series. Was a player I had never seen before. He had improved soooooo much! Also make plans and dedicate yourself to seeing every game you can for the next 4 years no matter the distance or hardship. It goes in the blink of an eye but the times are those to treasure.

these posts are tearing me up. i am just as freaked out, and my kids are not even past 10th grade!

one constructive thing that i have already starting doing is imploring my friends with younger children to spend as much time as possible with them, cherish every moment, and in a sports context, even a highly competitive one with a gifted young athlete, learn to cherish those moments just as much. i too remember coaching my 5 year old. i swear it was only the day before yesterday - somehow overnight he became 6' tall and growing.

you all are a step ahead of my family in this, but i can tell you that trying to get some of this through the thick heads of some of the younger parents is pretty constructive and gets my mind off of the big day.

through all the pain for us parents, it is a wonderful, blessed problem to have.

BK'sMom - "big toes" LOL! I find myself noticing our boys big feet too and his thick legs and my boy is now a man! So happy yet so sad!

Went over to his college-to-be the other day. Walked through his dorm-to-be with him (doesn't move in until late September). Feelings of extreme happiness for him and extreme sadness for me mixed together.

Took him to the bookstore...would have bought him anything he wanted, but he didn't want anything. I felt guilty about it.

Was ecstatic yesterday when he called me at work and said, "Dad, lets go down to the Bronco WS tonight." 12-year old baseball with no one he knows and he's asking ME to go! Just him and his little brother and me.

Oh boy am I gonna miss him!

quote:

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Also make plans and dedicate yourself to seeing every game you can for the next 4 years no matter the distance or hardship. It goes in the blink of an eye but the times are those to treasure.

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good advice for any parent..........no matter what age their player is.

justbaseball...I can just see you ....you and your two boys...and toes wiggling....

happy times for sure...

(I too plan to make as many games as possible...even if he's just in the dugout...)

My oldest is 15 mins away, but last year I saw his dorm room twice, once moving in, once moving out. I did get to most games, and he brought some guys over for dinner a couple times. Other than that he could have been out of state.

The youngest will be living at home at least for the first semester, so we won't be totally empty nesters.

It was very hard when the oldest first went away, but now I am happy to see them grow, take on some responsibilities of laundry, cookings, and general helping around the house as well as working for their own pocket money when not playing games.

Maybe I am fooling myself, and the day will come they take jobs hours or days away.....

02^04Mom...I want to know: how did you get out of doing the laundry?

It hit me as I was trying to go to sleep the other night. We're moving him in this coming weekend and I suddenly realized that he's leaving that room down the hall.

His mom and I have agreed to keep a strong front and not give him any "encouragement" for homesickness.

It's going to be different.

Awwwwwwww, gees folks! Why did I pick this thread to read! I'm now sitting here looking at that May 21, 2005 graduation date and thinking about a year full of "This is the last time he'll..." HS events! Bummer!

tomorrow...we leave taking the little tyke 6 hours ....oh yea, he's not so little...

I will miss him more than he'll know, but seeing the excitement he has about college and baseball ...priceless...

I had to jump in.
Traveled with son Tuesday, August 17 for college move in day. Day following his 19th birthday.
What a great experience. I love being a dad! I am thankful for a son who is not embarrased with his parents. He not only allowed his mother and I to help, but we met the roommate, his parents & a younger brother. I appreciate the university for what looks to be a successful roommate match. What a great start to a great freshmen year. I am not missing my son, because my Lord, my wife and I raised him to move on. He is ready and we were also.

PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PLEEEAASSSEEE, STOP IT ALREADY!!!! I just can't take this!! Here I was, missing my son who is on his way to Vegas for the TeamOne National and he'll be back on Sunday...so just imagine now, I have just created a big ole lake of tears around me, just thinking about what will tranpire a year from today. The irony of all this is that my child has wings and wants to fly and of course I just clip them a little bit here and there.

I am missing him....

But is it not wonderful having internet..?

He sent me pics already of himself/dorm room/friend...etc.

and then I sit here watching Little League World Series...and hubby starts with the remember when stories...

oh wait...cell phone is ringing, guess who it is...yep, that college student...gotta talk to him now...

Pam....

I understand how you feel! Mom and I had to deal with that with our older kids. Even though Andy is only going to be a junior, we know we'll miss him just as much as we did with the other kids. We still have time to prepare!

Andy did well at the Midwest Prospects UT-Arlington showcase held a few weeks ago. Waiting to see his evaluation. He really liked Rice in Houston, and UTA. Didn't get a chance to stop at UT-Austin or Baylor, but Andy was satisfied with the two schools he saw.

He is anxious to go out of state for school. I just hope he doesn't get to focused on the baseball programs and playing for them. He should be able to make the teams, but you know how those sorts of things go. At least his academics will get him in at all of the schools he is interested in.

Pam, it's difficult for awhile to cope, but you find ways to handle the fact that he is an adult, away from home, that misses you just as much!

Boomer

Boomer...

So you've been making your way thru Texas? I'm glad Andy is seeing some schools. Glad he did well at UTA...when will he eval be up on Brian's site?

I do know it'll get easier ... and I am so happy with who he is as a person...

Hubby and I were just saying we've been taking him out of town for years, why are we surprised that he signed at a school 6 hours away...we have taught him to be independent...

Good luck to your son...by the way...hope his hard work gives him his dream.

BK'sMOM....

Thanks for the 'wishes'. Brian said the evaluations would be available in 4-5 weeks.

The 6 hour trip sounds o.k. Remember when you and hubby couldn't wait to be together forever, you know that wedding thing!!!

Look at it this way, it's "bonding" time.

And the other side of the story

When mine first went away a few years ago yea I missed him dreadfully and probaly (I know I did) call him to much..but after a time I saw all the good things, less laundry, the house stayed cleaner, didn't have to cook so much...etc

BUT THEN, he transfered and came back home to live...and somedays when the laundry is piled up and there is no food in the house but the sink is full of dishes I wish he was still out of state....but it is nice to have someone to mow the lawn again

When my oldest son entered 6th grade and all the extracurricular sports were about to begin, a good friend told me to hang on because he would be gone in the blink of an eye. I took her advice to heart and savored every single pitch, every single at bat, and every single other event in his life. He graduated in 2002 and left to play 2 yrs. of juco ball and finally settled in at TX A and M this fall to study geosciences. My youngest just graduated in June of 2004 and we took him to his juco yesterday. And my friend was so-o-o right about that blink of an eye!! Now, I have to grow back up and decide what I want to be! There is a massive whole in my life and my heart. But, I will survive (I think!). I hope this gets easier!

I spoke to a woman whose 24 year old son was killed last week in an auto wreck...her son had just been married for 1 month and his bride was in the car accident and was killed...

She told me through tears, "Go to every game, watch everything your son does, be there for him....it's all too precious to miss."

Even if he just stands in the dugout I plan to catch as many college games as I can...

Early one morning just as I came to the realization my son was getting ready to leave home, I scribbled down a poem about how I felt . . . and how I wanted him to feel.

A Journey together

We took the task of parenting, as our mothers and fathers had
We helped you seek the good, and always shun the bad.

We woke you in the morning, and hugged you in the eve
We made a home of comfort, always knowing that you’d leave.

But leaving is just a word, that sounds so bad at first
It sounds as if the fledgling bird has fallen from his perch.

But life is such a challenge, that slaps the ill prepared
That passes up the many throngs, as if it did not care.

Accept the challenge like a man, like a pitcher takes the mound
Like batters swinging at the plate, so bases they can round.

But challenge does not come to you, you seek before you find
To sit at home and wait on it is just a waste of time.

So set your course with passion, and map your route with care
And work real hard for everything while giving God his share,

A lonely journey down your course, you’ll think there is no one
A foolish thought you soon will learn, you’ll ALWAYS be our son.
Dad

It's hard to read this thread without a lump in your throat. My son just started classes today at a Texas juco. He's only an hour and a half away,and after coaching him since T-ball, I'm having to resist the urge to go watch he and his new teammates practice. I could easily arrange to make some sales calls in the area, but I'm doing my best to resist the temptation. I've only called him twice today. I know I need to back off, but it's tough.