Son has signed to a Juco D1 school. He knows several of the boys that have been there a year, well one has been going around telling everyone that son is not good enough and not sure why he was picked up just putting him down bad. I told him to shrug it off that he will prove it when he gets there but he is so mad.
Has anyone had to deal with anything like this?
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Standard drama show. Nothing to get involved in. In all likelihood, the talker is already well known to his teammates for what he is, so your son needn't worry about needing to prove himself any more than usual when he gets there.
jakenotfromsf posted:Son has signed to a Juco D1 school. He knows several of the boys that have been there a year, well one has been going around telling everyone that son is not good enough and not sure why he was picked up just putting him down bad. I told him to shrug it off that he will prove it when he gets there but he is so mad.
Has anyone had to deal with anything like this?
Uhhhh, yep. Every team will have a bad teammate or three, particularly before things get sorted out in the fall. The nature of JC's makes it more likely for some of the problems to be similar to this where many of the players know each other coming in.
Wether your son is good enough will become plenty evident to the coaches in the fall. He will face this and many other hurdles in college baseball. Half the battle is the ability and willingness to jump them.
He should reach out to the kid and tell him that he can't wait to play on the same team as him....and make sure that he's extremely kind to him once he gets there.
HSHULER,
He basically did before finding out he was talked about. Son thought they were cool but not really the case.
Sounds like it's time for a confrontation/ass kicking!
j/k- wait till practice starts and show him up on the field with the skillz-
-DD
jakenotfromsf posted:HSHULER,
He basically did before finding out he was talked about. Son thought they were cool but not really the case.
Understood but still treat him kindly. No need to stoop to his level. Obviously, the kid is insecure so maybe your son can teach him how he should behave as a young adult. Sounds like one of the other kids told your son so he's probably not as liked as he thinks he is.
Best wishes to your son and I'm sure that big chip on his shoulder will be even more motivation.
hshuler posted:jakenotfromsf posted:HSHULER,
He basically did before finding out he was talked about. Son thought they were cool but not really the case.
Understood but still treat him kindly. No need to stoop to his level. Obviously, the kid is insecure so maybe your son can teach him how he should behave as a young adult. Sounds like one of the other kids told your son so he's probably not as liked as he thinks he is.
Best wishes to your son and I'm sure that big chip on his shoulder will be even more motivation.
Good point... anything he can use as a motivator is a good thing.
In these situations I always tell my pupils bring your rabbit to practice.
PS: Happy New Year to all you flame throwers!
Not much he SHOULD do about it, at least with regard to others. Tell your son to be above that kind of trash-talking. Don't talk it, and don't believe it. This is gossip - it might be that the guy who told him the player is talking badly about him is lying. For whatever wacko reason, there are some people that just like to STIR THE ____. I was suspicious once of a similar situation, so I very calmly and nicely questioned others who were supposedly present when the "accused" was saying bad things about a close friend of mine, only to find out that it was the "accuser" who was doing the talking and trying to get the "accused" to agree with her.
jakenotfromsf posted:Son has signed to a Juco D1 school. He knows several of the boys that have been there a year, well one has been going around telling everyone that son is not good enough and not sure why he was picked up just putting him down bad. I told him to shrug it off that he will prove it when he gets there but he is so mad.
Has anyone had to deal with anything like this?
Is your son and this kid competing for the same position? Could be this kid is insecure enough that he sees your son as a threat and knows he can't beat him on the field.
Shrug it off and let his play and attitude speak for him, his teammates will see the truth.
Politely send him an Pplicatin for a coaching position at the school. He obviously feels he is more capable of evaluating talent than the current coach.
Seriously, his opinion doesn't really matter at this point. Move forward and work hard!!
If it were my son I'd tell him to take care of it himself. No need for you to get involved.
It's part of the mental game played on every team at every level. It's probably going to get worse. Everyone will be trying to get an advantage on the other once they get there. Some do their talking on the field, others play mental games. I'm not trying to be negative here, but this isn't high school anymore. If your son is shook up because someone is bad mouthing him, he better get thicker skin in a hurry! College coaches can be brutally honest, teammates are out for themselves, and it's time for mom and dad to step back.
Coach_TV posted:jakenotfromsf posted:Son has signed to a Juco D1 school. He knows several of the boys that have been there a year, well one has been going around telling everyone that son is not good enough and not sure why he was picked up just putting him down bad. I told him to shrug it off that he will prove it when he gets there but he is so mad.
Has anyone had to deal with anything like this?
Is your son and this kid competing for the same position? Could be this kid is insecure enough that he sees your son as a threat and knows he can't beat him on the field.
Shrug it off and let his play and attitude speak for him, his teammates will see the truth.
That's where my mind went too....they play the same position, they bat in the same spot, they have a similar appearance, they dated the same girl.......people don't just talk smack to talk smack. They talk smack because they are insecure about something, or someone.
The good news is if the kid is already on the JUCO team that means one year max your son will have to put up with him 
Sounds like a mind game to me! Settle it on the field and keep it moving. It not what people say about you it how you deal with what they say !!!!
I wasn't planning on doing anything about it. Just seeing if others had something similar. In the end it is all about out work, out train and results!!! 
jakenotfromsf posted:I wasn't planning on doing anything about it. Just seeing if others had something similar. In the end it is all about out work, out train and results!!!
Pay someone and have the kid wacked.
Teaching Elder posted:jakenotfromsf posted:I wasn't planning on doing anything about it. Just seeing if others had something similar. In the end it is all about out work, out train and results!!!
Pay someone and have the kid wacked.
Make sure he's wearing a "I heart Tonya Harding" t-shirt while doing it. It's important to advertise our role models!
There are going to be haters and motivators in all paths of life. Remind your padwan that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering.
You have to be tough minded at the college level. Players will play mind games. It's dog eat dog and you can't let this stuff affect you. Your son just needs to focus on what he needs to do to carve out his place in this program. "You shouldn't be the DH!" "Man when you gonna get a hit with RISP?" "Maybe you just can't cut it?" There will be comments made and other players will be more than happy to pass them along. And of course add some things to it. If your son goes into this situation and lets this stuff bother him he's in trouble. If he engages in this stuff he will become part of the problem. Human nature is to lash back out "Just wait!" And make comments to other players that will get back to this guy.
The way to deal with this is simply ignore it and let your game, work ethic and attitude speak for you. Compliment your team mates never engage in these tactics others use. As the old saying goes "If you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all." If you use it as motivation be careful that it doesn't sour you and take the joy out of the experience. How about simply not using it at all? Just let your game speak. It is a highly competitive environment. There will always be people that try and gain an advantage anyway they think they can get it. And trust me some coaches at some colleges will use these tactics as well but for other reasons. They want to test the player and see how tough minded he is. They will send the player messages many different ways. I am not saying it's right and I am not saying he will experience it. But don't be surprised if it happens.
College baseball is not "Oh were one big happy family and were all on the same team!" No its dog eat dog for PT and favor with the one's making the decisions. Things smooth out over time. But coming in you got to prove yourself and your game will and attitude will determine your position. Clowns like this are not going to stop or go away. How you deal with the situation will determine if they stay on you or move to another target that can't deal with them properly.
How does your son know who said what? If he walks around showing everyone where his buttons are, they will be pushed constantly in college. LOL Instead, big stinking deal. Be the best and you will play.
In college, even after the team is set and you make the cut, you're still in competition with other players on the roster. Their goal is to make you a bench warmer. Some guys will do anything the can to get into a competitors head. Most guys are honorable competitors. But not all are. One of the main things that drove my son to hang up his cleats after a year, despite playing well, was he just did not like being around a lot of the guys on the team all day every day. I tried to tell him that he was done with the band of brothers days of travel ball and high school. For him, that took a lot of the joy out of it, it seems. Either you deal or you don't. It's all on the player hence forth.
I hear players talk smack on other players sometimes. My son being an example, has been the recipient. He has tunnel vision though. To busy in his preparation to let it get to him. They strike out, he hits balls hard to the outfield. I'm honest with him to, in that his throwing and defense, is what it is until proven otherwise. He knows this is a competitive arena and your strengths and weaknesses are going to be exposed. This business like any other is based on performance and is constantly going to be monitored and evaluated. Grind...
SluggerDad posted:... he just did not like being around a lot of the guys on the team all day every day..."
I think this is worth helping our kids understand could happen as they head off to college for the first time.
College is a big, big wake up call. Amongst some really great folks, I met some of the absolute biggest scumbags in college. And so did you all. Warn them now. Do not lend money to anyone.
Point taken. Fortunately, after tuition and fees my D3 kid will have no money to lend.
Ha! 
My youngest just signed last week to play Juco baseball close to home. My oldest is a redshirt junior. His advice to my youngest was to know 3 things: 1. they have you 24 hrs a day 7 days a week 2. Don't trust anyone, everyone is trying to get your job 3. the only two words you need to know are 'Yes Sir'
Tune it out. Focus on what you have to do. If anyone says, "(the other player) said .... " just respond, "He's entitled to his opinion. I disagree. I'll prove it on the field." The shorter response is, "Whatever!" and smile. Sometimes other circumstances arise. But don't let it be the starting point. Be in control.
Son nearly ended up with a "bad teammate"...one who used to poke fun at son. The school was one son targeted early in process. This player was a head case even in little league where he had to sit out a few games for cursing and throwing equipment. The envy grew after son was starter on his team (same college league) and the "bad teammate" got a few ABs his first year. So they face each other last year(in other player's home park) . Player gets his fellow teammates (who never met son) to start chirping.
A few moments that I took from the game. First, do they bring in "the player" up 16 runs to get an AB, field, or PR?? No (even brought in another OF to pitch). Second though, I couldn't be prouder of son legging out an infield hit with one out left in game down such a deficit.
Playing time can be a great trump card.
The best thing for a freshman player to do in a new program is say nothing. Outwork people, out-attitude people, out-hustle people, out-think people but say nothing. Let your actions do all the talking for you. It's too bad others can't keep their mouth shut but that's the way things are sometimes.
Use their talk against them as motivation to prove them wrong on the field.
He only needs to know two words, 'Yes Sir' to any coaches comments and roll on!
Just a bad teammate. I agree concentrate on Yes sir and working hard on and off the field. The obstacles he will face will be numerous as it is.
Just read a post from a top program in the midwest, who said 40% of their D1 commits are not honoring their letters of intent, within their 1st year and some not even the first semester.
Stay mentally strong!!
Is it possible that the guy is right?
In 4 years of college ball, my son had one guy that was "that guy". He was cut at the end of the season, even though he was a contributor. My son and he were friends, but when I found out he was cut and asked what happened to the guy, my son said he was a bad teammate. He would always be saying that he was better than so and so. And he should be out there in place of another guy. I'm sure the coach knew about what was going on, but still used him in different situations, because it was all about what was best for the team and winning. However, at the end of the season, that was it - he was gone.
Maybe my son was lucky, but his team had GREAT chemistry. They were brothers. They practiced together, went to parties together, hung out together, and the 14 seniors and coach all cried when their season came to an end. It was a special group of guys. Of course there were guys on the team who mostly hung out with their own smaller groups, but they were a true team.
My point is, the coaches know what's going on. Most coaches have been doing it long enough to know who "that guy" is and it has absolutely NO bearing on what winds up happening on the field. These coaches want to/need to win. They will play the guys that they think give them the best chance to win. What a particular player has to say about another player means nothing.
Your son needs to ignore this guy and what he may be saying behind his back. He needs to be confident in his own abilities and work hard to crack the lineup. If he has the talent and work ethic and is a good teammate, he will be rewarded. Regardless of what "that guy" on the team is saying.
No not at all and not because I am his father. Son had several schools to choose from.
That is what I was driving at. I would 1. Work hard to make sure that the JUCO experience is not the last and to beat the stuffings out of the talker. 2. Largely ignore the guy. If something isn't true, what does it matter what someone else says? Lots of people talk. It's cheaper than fracked oil.
Bballman,
I suspect the great chemistry on your son's team was not the result of good fortune.
I suspect it was because the coaches make a point of, as the management book lovers would say, getting the wrong guys off the bus!
Because isn't that what you say they did with the one guy who identified himself as the poison in the clubhouse -- even though he was a valuable player?
