BB coach vs. Pitching instructor

Had the same problem when my son was 11-12. In practice I told him to do exactly what the caoch said - he wasn't teaching anyhting really bad. I think it was a good lesson for my son - you do what the caoch asks.

PS: Then I had him forget what he did and go back to what the pitching coach said. Bit by bit I would nudge the coach towards what the pitching coach said.

BBFam,
I think all players and parents experience the confusion of conflicting instructions. You have to talk with your son and give him a lesson in tact and diplomacy. Make sure you explain his dilemma to his instructor. Instructors do experienced this quite often. He can help your son handle this. Also make sure the coach is aware your son is seeing an instructor. Most coaches will back off (to some degree). While many coaches have the “cookie cutter” approach to pitching (and hitting) they will all accept the “unorthodox” player if that player produces results.
Don’t get too caught up in the emotional aspect of this conflict as it can carry over to your son and that thing called disrespect for his coach could rear it’s ugly head. There is hope! Many players succeed in spite of their coach.
Fungo

We have run into this same situation. My son & I used it as an opportunity to discuss the differences in approach to figure out which one made the most sense and worked for him.

It also helps if the coach knows that the player has been working with the instuctor for an extended period of time....and as Fungo explained we found the coach did normally backoff and we saw now impact in playing time. Typically most coaches are just happy a kid is working outside practices to get better!

The only time I have had this conflict is with a League Coach. He would not back off at all and demanded that my son do things his way. Needless to say he no longer plays for that coach.

I tried to work with the coach, I spoke to him privately, he refused to listen, I then spoke with him and the manager of the team. The manager did what he could to avoid having my son work with this coach, but it still went very sour. It was bad enough to cause my son to not want to play unless I coached. So I am managing in league again, not just travel.

I agree with the other posts here, talk with the coach, and see how much give is in the coaches teaching. Be sure your son understands that he is to respect the coach at all times and this type of disagreement is for you and the coach to work out, not he and the coach.

No one cares about your son like you do. I care alto about my players but me devotion to their best interest is not the same as their parents.

My problem may be a little different. I just saw one of my pitchers throw for the first time off the mound (14yo). He's got a nice arm but his arm action is not what I'd like to see (reaches straight back and pauses) and I think he's losing velocity and command as a result. I can diagnose it pretty easily but I'm not comfortable with making major changes in his arm action. I'm also not sure the pitching instructor my son works with is the right person to fix the problem although I'll talk to him to see if he has an approach to fixing it.