Best thing you ever did for your player?

Everytime he wanted to play catch no matter how tired I was or other things I needed to do I always grabbed my glove.

I went to my son's game when he was maybe 13. As I watched i noticed that after an inning they walked on and off the field. He had a pretty good game a couple hits etc etc. On the ride home he was talking about the game and his efforts. I pulled over to the side of the road and said if I ever saw him walk on or off the field he could walk home. From then on he was the first one on and off. when he played in college he ran to his position. I always sat in the same place we had a little signal to acknowledge this. Nobody knew just me and him.

"be there"..........

though the wins, losses, practices. games, in the highest highs and the lowest lows....

Best thing I did was...

..take my enthusiasm about his enthusiasm and learn to channel it properly.

I think this is always a work in progress for all of us, just like all other aspects of parenting.

This site and the other thread you refer to will provide much help and insight toward that end. I think most of us wish we could have learned more earlier - looks like you have a great opportunity.

Married his mother1!

He got her good looks and height

Expose him to the game. He did the rest.

I think the best internal guideline I had was a reminder that when things went poorly for my son was when he needed me most: pointing out what he did well even when the outcome was not good; emphasizing that old cliche that hitters who make an out 70% of the time are called Hall of Famers; mostly shutting my mouth when I could tell he was down and waiting for him to speak.

The only sharp criticism I ever gave him after a bad game was when he was 13 and pitching. The whole team stunk that night, including my son, and his body language on the mound was "droopy" (if that makes sense). I told him on the way home that players react to the body language of the pitcher, whether it is negative or positive. From that day forward I have never seen him exhibit poor body language on the field, regardless of how bad things were going.

The best thing that I ever did (still do) for my kids is that after a particularly difficult game, once we get in the car, I start the motor and then not say anything until they do. And then I just listen..and let them vent...no yelling or scolding or anything like that....just listen to what they say and then be as supportive as I can. And then---remind him or her that there are 9 players on the field...and that it is a TEAM----and that there will be another game....

quote:

Originally posted by nhmonty:
Married his mother1!

He got her good looks and height

We just let him have fun and placed an importance on doing well in the classroom.

There are some people here who think there is a special formula for "breeding" players. This is not true.

Welcome!

quote:

Was there a moment in time that required teaching, tough love, tough choices or an opportunity that needed to be taken advantage of (like a travel event etc)?

Yes, yes, yes and yes. You have just done a very good job of defining the role of a parent with kids playing ball.

What did I do that was best; I was there whenever he needed me. I did what I could, I made sure that he new that he was responsible for himself and how he played, I found him help when he needed it, I worked with him to create opportunity when it was needed. I did whatever parents can do to help their kids grow to become productive young adults.

Very good question and you will get many excellent recommendations from this site. Process them all and let your "head and heart" direct you.
As a poster once said "baseball is like life, full of adjustments" and I agree.
Moms and Dads, pleae don't critize or discuss poor performance after a game, they are often hurt and embarrased enough. Most of the time a good hug or a handshake is all that is needed, "win or lose".
Fundamentals can be corrected, a hurting heart or poor self-esteem is much harder to repair:

quote:

Fundamentals can be corrected, a hurting heart or poor self-esteem is much harder to repair:

Great posts so far.Always point out the positive after a bad game.(after they have maybe vented, and relaxed alittle)

There are times when it might be a stretch if its a particlarly bad game.

Always let them know that baseball is a part of them, (and a BIG part for some).But that at the end of the day their character is what defines them a s a man.

quote:

Aside from introducing them to the game, what is the best thing you did for your player?

My first reaction is to say "spending time with him playing catch, pitching BP, hitting him fungoes." But a moment's reflection I realized that I did those things more for me than for him.

So I think the best thing I actually did was to teach him, right from the start (literally 18 months old) to hit from the left side.

I always took advantage of clinics or lessons being offered at the local field or baseball academy by young minor leaguers looking to make some extra bucks in the off season. Nothing gets a youngsters attention more than a young man in a real MLB uniform. The best thing I ever did was take my son when he was 11 to a pitching clinic at his local field for 20 bucks given by Kip Bouknight, former Gamecock who was with the Rockies and Scott Sturkie, former Chantecleer who was in a Cleveland uniform. The instruction, practice drills, and mental tips were invaluable at the time. Some of the drills he learned from tham at 11 he still practices as a senior in HS.

When he was 15 and a freshman I got him to Brian Currie, a local lefty instructor who teaches the Sandy Kaufax way of pitching. Throwing harder easier. Every week for 7 months. His sophmore year he went 8-0 with 4 saves and was All-State. Best money ever invested.

I guess I'm saying whether a pitching, fielding, hitting, catching, when the time comes get him some quality instruction for that jump to the next level..

There are a few things that can be important:
-- Positive support on and off the field
-- Emphasize good grades
-- Encourage hard work and dedication
-- Find good instruction
-- Purchase good equipment
-- Look for right opportunities for him to compete against his peers (travel, showcase)
-- Keep it all in perspective

Some of these things cost money, some don't cost you one dime. Just be smart about how you spend it. The game should be fun (and not drudgery) no matter what level your son eventually reaches, although there are times it can be a grind. In the end, there's nothing like sharing your love for a great game with your kid.

Great great posts in this thread.

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Originally posted by Rob Kremer:
[QUOTE]
So I think the best thing I actually did was to teach him, right from the start (literally 18 months old) to hit from the left side.

Rob, that made me remember something special. My son is a righty in everything in life. Yet, when he was 2 or 3 and we went out to swing his new plastic bat, he started swinging it from the left side and asked, "Daddy, am I doing this the right way?" I smiled and said, "Absolutely, son. That's exactly the way you do it." Thus was born a left-handed hitter.

To work harder at the game than anyone else.

For our son, as an individual player, once he got to age 15, I got out of his way as a coach and became a parent. From that point to the end of his career in Milb, the best thing I did was allow his career to be decided by himself, his HS coaches, his Legion coaches, and then his college and Summer Wood bat league GM's and coaching staffs. Their skills, combined with his love of the game, desire and ability made every difference.
For our son as a teammate, the goal of my wife and I was to have every player included.
From Little league to Senior league, we did things like providing and making sure they practiced in shirts that identified them as a team and teammates. Functions were all inclusive. We always looked at this, with our son, to make sure the 12th or 15th player was as welcome as those who might be considered the best.
In HS, every team function was one where every player and family was included, no matter what their financial ability.
When he got to college, that was our biggest challenge because of distance and diversity. Many in college were really on their own and finances were tight. His roommate was one of those
My wife created a 501(c)(3). Through her amazing efforts, support was generated and provided, at the beginning, mostly through our friends.
Some 11 years later, that 501(c)(3) is providing assistance for players and families we will never know.
Two of our great nights were team dinners his senior year.
The first was in Memphis with food from Corky's barbeque. Amongst 25 players and 5 coaches, as well as many families, more than 100 lbs of ribs, and other items were joyfully consumed.
The second was in Manhattan Beach during the 2004 West Regional. My wife and I brought something like 20 Fred Steaks packed in dry ice from Palo Alto. I cooked them on a Smokey Joe...no small challenge, while the players, many who had never seen the Pacific, took a short break from the mental intensity which has built for nearly 25 days, the break between the end of the season and beginning of the Regional.
As that night ended, every player thanked us, hugged us and assured us the event made a difference.
Those were the best things we ever did.

People like you and your wife are special people. People who do those kind of things for all the kids have their heart in the right place. No wonder your son turned out to be the man he is.

Infielddad,

Awesome post.You and your wife really GET IT.

So much more than just the baseball.

Helped organize a group of parents (committee) to build 4 age appropriate sized fields for the exclusive use of local youth of our community of 12,000 as the "City Fields" were occupied by Triple Crown Sports until late August and we had no local summer baseball facilities available.

Helped establish the first organized local youth baseball program (Little League) in our community which has now, some 12 years later, won "LL State" twice only to go down in flames to Texans in the regionals. One ball, hit off my youngest son, is still in orbit.

Had the pleasure of working with/watching 4 kids, two of my own, create a dream and be able to fill it by playing Div II NCAA baseball/softball while getting a good education. 3 others went on to play JUCO. All are doing well in their adult careers now.

Got my kids, who had the pleasures of playing Big City travel and College competitve ball, back involved with local youth baseball on a meaningful level when they were able to return home. Giving something back to the game.

Gtting my kids and others good enough that they captured the attention of some good travel ball coaches from Denver. Then making the 3 hour drive to DIA to put them on a plane to places far away and different from our small ski town community.

Great post infielddad.

For those with young players, make sure you understand that this game is about failure, most have to fail at some point to get better.

It's also about humility, don't feed your son with the "you are so much better than anyone else on your team" stuff. Let them learn by example. Be supportive and let them lead the way, they will ask you for your opinion when you least expect it.

best thing and the hardest was not letting another coach or trainer take his natural swing away.

he has the Natural left hander uppercut that will stay.

Good stuff here folks, I guess Mine would be the catch thing... 3 boys, my pitch counter has a pretty high number on it and I am very thankful for that.

1. Gone to every game I can. So far, one of us (his parents) has been at each of his games, which now number in the hundreds.
2. Got him good instruction when he was 12-13.

Thanks for all the responses everyone. They are all unique and informative.

I taught them they never want to walk off a field/court or a classroom feeling they could have prepared better or played harder.

Great post infielddad. I'm sure you sleep well most nights knowing you helped so many people.

I think the thing my son appreciated the most is the simple fact that I attended almost every game he played from 7 yo thru high school. He would thank me for things I did and bought him, but when he would ask me "you gonna be there" I knew that was the most important thing to him.

It's funny that the thing I wanted the most, attend his games, turns out to be the thing he wanted the most also.

.
Best thing I ever did for my player(s)?...

Keeping the focus (regardless of short term results) on life lessons...attitude, effort, preparation, skill development, adaption, adjustment, how to face challenges, how to learn from a loss, leadership, team...using the baseball experience for bigger purposes.

Statistics, trophies and clippings and scholarships are great...but the emotional and cognitive foundations that can be established in the labratory of sport will serve them far beyond their days on the field.

And it works.

44
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Being involved with their LL teams! No question, it was a great learning experience for all of us. They were exposed to a great game and learned about sportsmanship and playing as a team.

I learned that I loved the game, but now had a passion for it. Being their coach, board member, field maintenance, etc., it was a great experience being there with them and going through the process of learning the game and all of the life skills along the way together.

Hugged them. Often. Even through the teenage years.

I think it gave them a sense of security, that no matter what happens, the old man loves me, attitude.

Plus they make me feel good too.

quote:

take my enthusiasm about his enthusiasm and learn to channel it properly.

Playwitheffort; yours was a great question to open with on this board. See cabbagedad's comment above as I think he nailed what is the very most important thing a parent can do!

Good luck, you will get great info here...

just being there...if he needed me to catch for him when he was little, I sat on a bucket and let him pitch to me...threw little practice balls with him saying, a little faster, put some muscle in it...lol
and a great diffuser between Dad and him, thank goodness we took two cars to many games....

put the 24 hour rule in place, say nothing for 24 hours, gives everyone a chance to cool down and think...then in 24 hours if it still needs to be said, then discuss it...

Following is my reply copied from an earlier thread on this board ("20/20 Hindsight")...

Things I did...

1.Pray blessings for him and over him from infancy...that God would bless his words and deeds in whatever he participated in...academics, athletics, etc.

2. Place him in situations where his ability and desire would foster improvement...good travel ball and instruction from quality baseball people...let him "run" with his strengths and encourage him in his weaker areas, to become more "well-rounded". Present a good surrounding environment, model good behavior for him, encourage his involvement with good friends and adults who recognized and appreciated his desires/goals, and who cared for him. Constantly appreciate his positive choices. Get specific with people, contacts, camps to where that network would eventually be one that recognized what he could do.

3. Help him be properly thankful to those who believed in him, helped him and created positive things for him (academically, athletically and spiritually).

4. WWBA 17u Championships in Marietta...for him, this truly supercharged all the previous actions.

5. Let him know that his well-thought out choice would be excellent, since all the options were positive (probably as a result of the first four items mentioned).

Many of us have coached at some level. I've coached baseball from 7/8 machine pitch rec ball through 18U showcase ball. Along the way parents have thanked me for my help. I always told them their kid has the ability. I just pointed them in the right direction. If a kid has ability he/she can get where they want to be. So to me the best advice is .... Along the journey, do no harm.

On a parent/child level, enjoy their success. Do not consider it your success. Make sure it's their dream, not yours.

Teaching my son and players to love the game. Don't just work on this or that but love the entire game and respect the game. Learn the history. Appreciate the players. Baseball is so much more than time spent with a coach or trainer, it is a part of history and a part of our lives. Love it, live it, and play it with passion!

Teach him to be a man, everything else took care of itself.

GED10DaD

Never, ever talked bad about a coach or second guessed his coach in front of the kid... Kept negative talk out of his earshot.


Used the kiss, kick, kiss method of critisicm.
(you did a great job on this, lets work on this, that was really fantastic out there)


Got lessons from professionals after age 12.