Can I talk to the coach

Your son probably should have been provided the information by the coach. On the other hand why didn’t your son ask?

It is not your job to approach the coach. Your son is an adult in training. It’s your son’s responsibility to have the conversations with his coach.

As for coach’s responsibility to get kids to college ball don’t go by some second hand hearsay. You have to watch the individual program and ask questions of people who have been associated with the program.

The friend of my son played in the biggest name program in our area on the B team. The dad heard how much the program did to get players placed in D1 ball. The kid was talented but not a D1 prospect. The program did absolutely nothing to help the kid. He became a D3 All American. Exposure at Head First did everything the kid needed. But going through the recruiting process he was short and not fast enough for D1.

I look at it a different way.  High school ball is all about the kid becoming an adult, dealing with things on his own; if parents intervene that looks like favoritism, etc.  Even so, we say that if there's a health issue the parents should talk to the coach.

Travel ball is different.  You are paying money (possibly a lot) to be on the team, and the goal is not necessarily "winning" as such, but experience and recruiting (to be honest, until my son was a junior I thought the point of summer travel ball was to get experience to be a better HS player - and maybe we would all be better off if it was).

So, I think a conversation with the travel coach about where your son projects is appropriate.  It's a good idea to do it at this time of year, rather than in-season.  You could have that conversation with or without your son (we did it without).  Just note a few things:

- travel coach may string you along, say he "could be a mid-major D1" if he thinks you might leave the program (i.e. stop paying him) if he tells you your son projects at D3.

- depending on what type/level of travel team it is, the travel coach may have either more or less to do with college recruiting.  Certainly they should help if your son is a D1 candidate.  If he's not, then the coach may have fewer connections with D2 and D3 schools - again, all depends on the coach, and see point A.

But you won't know any of this unless you ask.  And you may not get as precise answers as you want, or you may not understand the answers.

Have you asked your reliable source what he thinks about your son's college prospects?

I don't understand this type of question in regards to travel team coaches.

My son played for a number of travel teams from a full summer team, a regionally organized team for the USA Championships, a fall scout team, to a local pick up team. In every case both my son and I had conversations with the coach about his level, skills, opportunities, down to what college teams might have some interest in him once they were playing.

These discussions start when your son is signed up and when you hand over a check to the coach. Your paying money, what am I missing?

@BB328 posted:

I'd like to talk to the coach and find out his opinion about our son's chances of making it to the next level and if so what he needs to work on to get there. Is this an appropriate conversation that a parent can have with the travel ball coach?

Absolutely yes.

People talk, and baseball parents love to talk (positively and negatively) about other parents kids. As for travel coaches, if you're paying them, then having direct conversations about your kid's strengths and weaknesses is part what you're paying for...

@BOF posted:

I don't understand this type of question in regards to travel team coaches.

My son played for a number of travel teams from a full summer team, a regionally organized team for the USA Championships, a fall scout team, to a local pick up team. In every case both my son and I had conversations with the coach about his level, skills, opportunities, down to what college teams might have some interest in him once they were playing.

These discussions start when your son is signed up and when you hand over a check to the coach. Your paying money, what am I missing?

Son left a pretty good team to join this one this fall. It was his choice. Its a new program and we pay an extremely fair price as it's mostly sponsored. They are not in it for a profit. The coaches are seasoned and have a good reputation.

I've always been hesitant to talk to coaches. I am the parent that says hello and thanks for the season and that's it.

But what I want to know is does he believe in my kid, will he help sell him to his contacts. Or am I being unrealistic in my expectations.

FYI my son is NOT a D1 player he doesn't have the size or metrics for that. We would be happy if he had the opportunity at a local D3 college with a less competitive program. I was actually surprised that our reliable source said he thought he had the ability to play in college. He said he was unsure what level until he matured a bit more.

Son has surprised me thoughout the years with his hard work and dedication. I've always underestimated him.

While he trains most days of the week gym, hitting and light positional work in the off-season.  It's kind of whatever he feels like doing with an occasional lesson thrown in. We could also really use the coaches advice on what to focus on and how to design a more cohesive training program for the off season.

Our HS program doesn't offer much it's really basic.

@BB328 posted:

Why we are hearing this second hand ?

Exactly.  Why are you hearing this second hand and not first hand?  Young men that want to play college baseball need to pursue discussions like this on their own and seek parental advice when they get stuck.   Your son needs to initiate these important dialogues on his own with the high school and travel coach, and bring you in when necessary or requested.   This is a great lesson for him when it really matters in a few years when he is texting, talking on the phone and talking face to face with college recruiters at any level.  He needs to get comfortable carrying an adult conversation with adults that can be making decisions about his baseball future.  Now is good time to start, and you can help by coaching and practicing with him so he can do it on his own.

My oldest son is an introvert.  If my son can do it, anybody can do it when they have the passion for something and want it bad enough.  My son amazed my wife and I.  Your son will amaze you with what he can do when he wants it.

Just my experience and opinion.  Good luck!

The most important lesson a maturing young man can learn is that it is his life to own.  Ask questions, take feedback, understand how to work...

I think travel ball is an industry.  Our son - currently playing in A ball - was on the second team of a very successful travel program.  I never spoke with the Coach/founder of this program, and I suspect he barely knew my son.  That coach paid attention to the 3-4 guys on the top team that were top 3 round talent.  Everyone else was funding the program.  I write this with no rancor at all - we knew it going in.

Getting to college was a son-driven effort including HF and Showball, getting to professional baseball was a son-driven effort...I can see that it would be great to get solid feedback from a program, I just think it rarely works that way

Does your son or do you pay for the program?  the coach has just as much responsibility to talk to you as anyone else. This isn't a college or even high school, you are paying for your son's development and need to make sure you are getting a return on your investment. You can certainly send your kid into get answers, but in the end you are responsible for your kid and you are financing this, plus he's a minor.  Partly the reason coaches talk about not wanting to talk to parents and that you should have your kid handle this, is so they don't have to be held responsible for what they say they and the program are about.  it's similar to an employer putting out that you shouldn't discuss your salary with other employees, if they can get you to prevent yourself from finding out, it only helps them.

Also, you want a complete answer and honest eval, most kids are not sophisticated enough to know when an adult is blowing sunshine up their you know what's.  Nor do they often want to ask the tough questions since they might hear something they don't want to.  You need to think about what your kid is capable of, how many times have you asked them about a teacher meeting,  asking, well did you ask about this?  "no".  Did you talk about that. "no".  Only really the most sophisticated teenagers who have zero self confidence issues will get complete information.

Good programs set up meetings throughout the year with the player to discuss these things, I think if there hasn't been any, you certainly can ask about it.  These meetings happen more often as you start getting to 15, 16 and 17u, and should increase with each level, not just because of college, but also unlike 10u-13u, you aren't' usually guaranteed a roster spot the next year, so you need to know where you stand.  Start with just asking if the coaches are going to give each individual player an evaluation, and ask when.  If you get a brush off answer or something like "at the end of the year", you certainly can ask if you can speak with them sooner as you have to have time to set up any plans for helping your kid, etc.  What good does it do you at the end of the year and then, gee tryouts for a year away are next week in July and Aug.

That being said, as long as you are respectful and don't act like a "baseball parent".  And don't start giving advice on how they should run their own business. Then any coach should have no problem discussing your son's future in baseball, they should be about helping him reach his goals.  If you are worried this could negatively affect your son's role on the team etc.  you are in the wrong program.

As a final thought, your son's journey to college baseball and recruiting if not at a top level, is going to be driven 90% by you and your kid, not a travel ball coach.  So get what you can out of them and don't leave it to chance that it will happen.  Think of it as looking for a job, coaches often are more references than recruiter, are you going to leave it up to private recruiting firms only.

What about suggesting to your son that he initiate the conversation with the coach, but tell the coach straight up that he'd like you to sit in. Ideally, the two of you talk first so your son goes in prepared to lead the conversation, but knowing that you're there if he gets stuck. That's how both my kids handled college visits — I knew it worked on the day my daughter ran the whole conversation with the professor we met with and then turned to me and said "i think we covered it mom, but do you have anything else we wanted to ask about?"

As he gets older, then he can start to drive those conversations completely on his own.

But I agree, you definitely should be able to talk to the coach.