CAN WE PLEASE

TRHit, When I first came here back about 1999 I was excited that my son was about to become a high school baseball player and equally excited that I had found an internet site where I could share that excitement. I knew the odds of him being a good high school player were slim but that's not what I came here to hear people say. I wanted to hear HOW a parent could help a young player pursue and possibly realize his impossible dream of playing high school baseball. I guess my biggest questions started with --"What should I do". While I don't adhere to the adage that ignorance is bliss sometimes in youth sports chasing that unobtainable lofty goal is more important than facing the stark reality that his "last game" may be the next one. I had a lot of fun as I learned on the HSBBW. Many people helped me along the way --- including you. Years have passed. I am now the "askee" instead of the "asker". Admittedly I would like to pop some peoples bubble at times. Some parents wear rose colored glasses and use the site solely for self promotion but that comes with the territory. I try to overlook them. You and I have an obligation to the new player (and parent) to pass on what we have learned over the past 20 years (more in your case). Your perspective is completely different than mine. I am a parent that baseball was forced upon by my son and you have been influences by baseball for many years. While we are both parents of former college baseball players, you probably see it more from the coaches perspective and me from the fan/parent. Occasionally I will be blunt and force a particular person to come to grips with reality but only when it serves as an example for others. I think we on the HSBBW have to adjust to the questions of the growing population of HSBBW members instead of the new members being forced to adjust to us.
Fungo

quote:

I think we on the HSBBW have to adjust to the questions of the growing population of HSBBW members instead of the new members being forced to adjust to us.

Well put, Fungo!

Fungo, have you thought about running for President?
Would you accept a "write-in" campaign?
Wonderfully insightful.
Wonderfully written.
Thank you!!!

Fungo -- that warms my heart. Well said.

quote:

think we on the HSBBW have to adjust to the questions of the growing population of HSBBW members instead of the new members being forced to adjust to us.

Very true. I agree.

BUT... ( dont people hate it when someone starts off their sentence with the word " but "? ) at the risk of messing up a good thread, ......

as an added sidebar-tidbit,....it would probably also benefit the board as a whole if posters both young, old, new, and inbetween didnt come to the board, and start throwing punches, accusations, and insults back and forth.
Its kind of like entering a room without knocking first, kicking in the door with your boot, holding a machety in ones hand, & screaming " I Have a BIG Problem &/or YOU'RE an IDIOT ".

Actions like those are usually perceived as hostile/rude and can cause knee jerk reactions, which normally result into a ruckus,..and thus the important information gets muddied or sadly,...even lost.
Some have more patience with these kinds of post than others.

Less PC BS?
I'm ok with that, but could it be done with more manners and civility from all parties involved??

( myself included )

I'll be under the kitchen table if ya need me with a pasta strainer helmet on my head. I must warn you though, I also carry a mean plastic fancy-snazzy cookie spatula in my back pocket.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
Julie
Yeah this will get me in trouble but what else is new!!!

"Could we start a thread where we can talk without all the PC BS and tell people what they need to hear not what they want to hear?"

***** WE, are in NO position of authority to tell people anything. Each journey is different.****

"If people will have their feelings hurt then they need not read or post."

**** If you post of your own experiences, then nobody's feelings will get hurt****

"I think it would make for great discussion and help MANY kids get on with their lives instead of being what Mommy and Daddy want them to be---I can tell you that from my experience I see many kids who are playing youth sports , not for themselves , but for Mommy and Daddy."

What do you HSBBWEBSTERS Think?

**** Did you ask each and every kid why they play baseball, or sports of any kind?****

Or is that just an opinion??

OLDSLUGGER8, thank you.

Wow....just wow........TR, have you thought of opening your own forum, separate from the HSBBW, where you can make it just that way?

quote:

Originally posted by Krakatoa:
Wow....just wow........TR, have you thought of opening your own forum, separate from the HSBBW, where you can make it just that way?

It's not hard to do at www.godaddy.com

"tell people what they need to hear not what they want to hear?"

What do you HSBBWEBSTERS Think?[/QUOTE]

I think I'm wondering why you get to determine what people need.

Great post by Fungo, as usual. InfieldDad, I will cast my write-in vote for him for president if you can get the word out!

Also an important note by shortstopmom. It does seem to cause quite a ruckus when new members come on our forums talking in a very loud voice while repeatedly poking their finger toward the other person's face (or the message board equivalent of that behavior). The Board Manners make an attempt to let new members know about our rules and standards of behavior, but I'm not sure they are always read. And sometimes there are Old Timers who need to go back and read the Board Manners. I won't mention any names, TR.

But here is my "two cents" on the topic:

ONE:

One of the most important functions this site serves is to help the prospective HS baseball player's parent, or current player's parent, understand the truth about HS baseball, and playing at the "next level". That includes How to Make the High School Team, The Odds of Playing College or Pro Ball, and some other realities related to the infamous Rose-Colored Glasses. We serve an important purpose when we help newbie parents to see their own rose-colored glasses if they own a pair (I did), and perhaps to replace the unrealistic view with a more informed, but still optimistic or "dare to dream" approach.

However...

(This is number TWO of my two cents):

An important difference in our website from many other websites, is that we expect (and sometimes enforce) a kinder, more friendly approach. This is a community, and if possible, we should try to treat each others as neighbors, friends, even family at times. Yes, "tough love" becomes necessary at times, but it doesn't need to be the first response.

I agree with what shortstopmom wrote and know that she was referring to a few cases where new members seemed to be looking for trouble. But putting those less common situations aside, I'll say this about the average new member who asks a question that has been asked many times before, or whose question seems silly or naive to some OldTimers:

New member, please "ask away!". You are the reason this website exists.

Current members and old timers, please be patient and welcoming! If you think a new member asked a dumb question and you are annoyed with having to answer it again...just don't answer that one. Consider posting a link to one of the previous related discussions, or just let other members handle that thread.

CAN WE PLEASE...

...just be nice?

Julie

"Stay classy, High School Baseball Web!"

Nice post Julie - I happen to agree with your take on things. shortstopmom also made valid points in those other threads as well. No problem adapting/adjusting to the newbies and showing patience. That is how it ought to be. It is not asking too much imho for posters not to come on here and show disrespect toward one group or another.

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!! Why do I even bother reading?

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
Julie
Yeah this will get me in trouble but what else is new!!!

Could we start a thread where we can talk without all the PC BS and tell people what they need to hear not what they want to hear? If people will have their feelings hurt then they need not read or post.

I think it would make for great discussion and help MANY kids get on with their lives instead of being what Mommy and Daddy want them to be---I can tell you that from my experience I see many kids who are playing youth sports , not for themselves , but for Mommy and Daddy.

What do you HSBBWEBSTERS Think?

Who put TRhit in charge of determining what a parent "needs" to hear?

Where do you get off thinking you are the one authority? We had a coach in town who was considered a loud mouth. I guess looking back if I would have counted every time he shot his mouth off, he would have exceeded 12,000 lines of bull.

Batdad25, I'm sure some people would like to cut through all the PC BS and tell it like it is. Why just today someone started a post to me with --- fungo,
I will be short and too the point without all of the fluff that goes into some of these posts.

quote:

Originally posted by Fungo:
Batdad25, I'm sure some people would like to cut through all the PC BS and tell it like it is. Why just today someone started a post to me with --- fungo,
I will be short and too the point without all of the fluff that goes into some of these posts.

It depends on what your definition of "fluff" is... Does fluff mean "shiny happy people" with the "your the greatest" posts? because that's what it means to me. I don't have a problem with that. It is what it is..

Nothing wrong with cutting out all of the PC BS in some of the posts - But adding an as*h**e element accomplishes nothing.

Well, there are two sides to the same coin. I think I understand what TR is saying. THE ONLY THING A COACH OWES YOU IS THE TRUTH!

Having said that, I can tell you a story about Bum, Jr. When he was 10 y.o., and subbing on a rec team, I called the coach.. not to complain but to ask him what I needed to do to help improve my son's game. What was his view of my son's ability?

His response I will never forget: "I guess I see things that other people don't see."

I take that to mean my son sucked. Well, anyone that knows my son today knows THAT ain't true.

We need to be truthful and realistic with players but it is altogether ridiculous to carry that to an extent that we could damage a kid's dream. Who's to know how kids change or persist until they achieve their dream? My kid didn't quit! Fact is, he turned that snub into motivation!

I also came to this site when it first started. If I had listened to the advice of some of the posters I would have taken my son out of baseball and signed him up for basket weaving 101.
A under 6 ft kid from the northeast had no chance. I had rose color glasses and no idea of the talent out side of our local area!

But I also found out about travel ball, tournaments showcases and the need to be proactive.

My advice is to dream and to use the advice on this board to reach that dream...

Batdad25,

I understand you don't like fluff,
I got that loud and clear ,
and it seems apparant that you also dont like
the told-straight-up no fluff what-so-ever TR-style, either.
I understand.


I'm also aware that you believe Old Timers think they are " Holier than Tho' " as you posted in another thread a day ago.
( Your post was deleted, but TPM had already captured your quote and reprinted it. )

I read a day ago when you criticized FUNGO as he offered his help/opinions/experience to a poster named Konsole, yet I read no constructive advice from you towards a solution, either.


I hope you are getting some good information here on the HSBBW. There's alot of good-stuff on here!

As of this morning I see that you have written 33 posts.
You claim you have experience.
Your profile says that you have " played & coached ".
I hope you use that knowledge to HELP.

Most of us are trying and doing our best to contribute. We may not always be able to satisfy everyone, but most are at least trying.

How bout' you roll up your sleeves, jump in, grab the steering wheel, and show us your knowledge. Get those fingers typing and be a part of the solution.

You are allowed your complaints,
and they are being heard.

It seems obvious why this site is the best baseball site in the world. It is not just a bunch of oversized egos sitting around and beating their chests - hyping some and tearing down others. Most importantly, we have intelligent Moms and Dads who contribute along with luminary scouting professionals and outstanding coaches and players. That is unique. All these forces contribute equally to making the ballplayers we see on the field today.

We will continue to support the softer, fluffy side here on the hsbbweb because many of the best perspectives and thoughts we have come from that side. We will also support the tough love, brutally honest side when necessary. What we appreciate most is kindness and decency and trying to at least consider the other person's point of view.

First of all a coach should not have to be asked what a player needs to do to get on the field at the hs level by the parent. Why? Because the players should be told by the coaches and the player should be able to answer this question when asked by the parent.

If a parent asks the coach this question then "Mr Smith thanks for coming to talk to me. Your son lacks the defensive skills needed to get significant playing time for us. We are working hard in practice and he has been told what he needs to focus on. Thanks for your support of the team and please understand that we want him to be successful as well. I can assure you when and if he is the best option he will be in the line up. Thanks again."

We talk to our players all the time. We tell them what they need to do. We work on it in practice everyday. The better our players are the better our team is. I believe that once a kid is in hs its time for them to come to the coaches and handle their business so to speak. Of course they have to feel comfortable doing this. I believe a good coach has a great relationship with his players. He makes sure they know what their role is and what they need to do to expand that role. Then the coach makes sure that their is time spent on working on these things in practice and time is offered after practice for kids wanting to get extra work.

I have no problem talking to parents. Why would a coach at the hs level not want to make sure the parents understand what is going on? As long as they dont approach us during practice or games. Just pick up the cell phone and say "Hey coach can we talk?" Some coaches egos get in the way. Some coaches feel that they dont have to explain anything to anyone. I believe if your open and your honest you dont have to do alot of explaining about a whole lot. If your players know the deal then the parents will know the deal.

Just work hard and be a great team mate. The players that put in the work and have great attitudes will be fine. The ones that dont wont be around very long anyway.

quote:

What we appreciate most is kindness and decency and trying to at least consider the other person's point of view.

We also appreciate those who give others the benefit of the doubt and don't assume that:

* they haven't done their homework
* they are a troll
* they have an agenda
* they lack the acceptable "humility" and "gratefulness" of a first-time poster
* they have no idea what they're talking about since they've never posted before

ClevelandDad said:

quote:

We will continue to support the softer, fluffy side here on the hsbbweb because many of the best perspectives and thoughts we have come from that side. We will also support the tough love, brutally honest side when necessary. What we appreciate most is kindness and decency and trying to at least consider the other person's point of view.

quote:

If a parent asks the coach this question then "Mr Smith thanks for coming to talk to me. Your son lacks the defensive skills needed to get significant playing time for us. We are working hard in practice and he has been told what he needs to focus on. Thanks for your support of the team and please understand that we want him to be successful as well. I can assure you when and if he is the best option he will be in the line up. Thanks again."

We talk to our players all the time. We tell them what they need to do. We work on it in practice everyday. The better our players are the better our team is. I believe that once a kid is in hs its time for them to come to the coaches and handle their business so to speak. Of course they have to feel comfortable doing this. I believe a good coach has a great relationship with his players. He makes sure they know what their role is and what they need to do to expand that role. Then the coach makes sure that their is time spent on working on these things in practice and time is offered after practice for kids wanting to get extra work.

I have no problem talking to parents. Why would a coach at the hs level not want to make sure the parents understand what is going on? As long as they dont approach us during practice or games. Just pick up the cell phone and say "Hey coach can we talk?" Some coaches egos get in the way. Some coaches feel that they dont have to explain anything to anyone. I believe if your open and your honest you dont have to do alot of explaining about a whole lot. If your players know the deal then the parents will know the deal.

Kudos to you and all the other coaches out there like you. Too bad they aren't all like you.

Son's coach basically has been handed all his players on a silver platter. Wealthy area with Type A parents who have paid for kids' private lessons/travel ball/speed & agility classes, etc. for years. Refuses to talk to parents or kids about playing time. Usually puts the best 9 on the field and seems to know how to coach the game itself, but never communicates with the any of the kids about what they need to improve on. My son is a starter headed to a D1 who says coach knows almost nothing about how to instruct. On occasion, son will struggle in BP and he says coach will just look disgusted and walk off. Son's hitting instructor (well-respected in the community) emailed me an update with things son should work on. I asked him if I could forward his email to HS coach and this was his reply: "I think he would take it as a slap in the face. You have to let him know he is god to baseball. You might get more from him if you would put him on that upper ladder. Sorry."

[QUOTE]Originally posted by shortstopmom:
Batdad25,


I read a day ago when you criticized FUNGO as he offered his help/opinions/experience to a poster named Konsole, yet I read no constructive advice from you towards a solution, either.[QUOTE]

I don't believe I criticized him. I gave my opinion on some of his posts


[QUOTE]
As of this morning I see that you have written 33 posts.
You claim you have experience.[QUOTE]

I only recently found this forum. The number of posts really has no bearing on my baseball experience.

Regards..

Batdad25,

In the hopes that we understand each other~

You said:

quote:

I only recently found this forum. The number of posts really has no bearing on my baseball experience.

For the record, I didn't say that it did.
What I said was:
My complete quote:

quote:

As of this morning I see that you have written 33 posts.
You claim you have experience.
Your profile says that you have " played & coached ".
I hope you use that knowledge to HELP.

I also encouraged you to:

quote:

....roll up your sleeves, jump in, grab the steering wheel, and show us your knowledge. Get those fingers typing and be a part of the solution.

You said you just recently found this forum.
Welcome,.... its a good baseball community.

I'm going to go make a peanut-butter, banana, and marshmallow fluff sandwich..... I'll make two and save ya one.

Best of luck this baseball season!

quote:

Originally posted by Infield08:

quote:

What we appreciate most is kindness and decency and trying to at least consider the other person's point of view.

We also appreciate those who give others the benefit of the doubt and don't assume that:

* they haven't done their homework
* they are a troll
* they have an agenda
* they lack the acceptable "humility" and "gratefulness" of a first-time poster
* they have no idea what they're talking about since they've never posted before

KUDOS to you both...Thank you!

quote:

Originally posted by batdad25:

quote:

....roll up your sleeves, jump in, grab the steering wheel, and show us your knowledge. Get those fingers typing and be a part of the solution.

If I can help - I will.. I've checked here a few times since joining in aug. I am finding some really nice features to the site.. PM's, ability to view a posters history... etc.

This does appear to be a great tool. Obviously, there are some great baseball minds who use this site and have real answers to real questions.

There ya go!

Oh gosh batdat25, I think were having a communication breakdown. Sometimes emotions and tone can get lost on a message board between the written words.

I was responding to your quote:

quote:

If I can help - I will.....I am finding some really nice features to the site...... Obviously, there are some great baseball minds who use this site .......

I meant

quote:

" there ya go "

to mean:

" That sounds great! "

Thumb up smiley guy = " Roger That " = " cool " = " Okie Dokie "

quote:

Originally posted by shortstopmom:
There ya go!

I think what ssmom meant was that as a new member, sometimes it can be valuable to do some research before one jumps in. We all bring something to the HSBBW, better to bring good stuff than trying to upset the apple cart.

This site is different than most, lots of good information regarding the HS process, college recruiting, pro baseball and just baseball in general. And also just lots of discussions regarding anything thing else you can think of including any past posts of a websters previous posts. That kind of gives you an idea of some of us around here.

I suggest the Golden threads to start off with, lots of good stuff there.


Also might try checking their profile, this way you won't get mixed up when posting or replying as to one's gender.

TPM ....

quote:

Also might try checking their profile, this way you won't get mixed up when posting or replying as to one's gender

Reminds me of a time long long ago when I referred to a dear poster ... who has since befriended me ... and referred to HER as a HIM ... and SHE did let me know that it would be a good idea to check that information out first (e.g., if you had read my profile ... or something to that extent but of course in a fluffy way)

It is sad, as I am writing this, that I come to realize how many dear posters we have 'lost' to the cause, if you will, because people mistook 'PC BS' to mean they could say anything they wanted in any way they wanted without regard for civility etc. I am saddened that we even have to deal with this kind of thing. There is a way to tell someone your (editorial 'your', not personal 'your' ) recommendations/perceptions etc without being rude, and there are many many posters on here who have mastered that kind of civility. What I find reprehensible ... well, maybe not reprehensible, perhaps annoying and definitely unnecessary ... are the posters, new and old timers as well, who seem to go from forum to forum, thread to thread, and find a reason (unbeknownst to most of us), to make a comment (quite often a seemingly unnecessary comment) in response to a post that really required no comment or observation. I am pretty sure we all know who these posters are ... some have come and gone, some have come and stayed ... and if they would just use their knowledge and interest in the game to give positive and helpful input instead of directing unnecessary and cutting remarks to people with whom they have a grievance, this site would be much better, and we wouldn't have to deal with other people's perceptions of what is just 'PC BS' ... we could all just learn more and more about the game we all love.

JMHO FWIW and I apologize up front if I have offended anybody

Rizzi,

It's got a chance in the Men's Room!