Coach with parent concerns

quote:

Originally posted by tired of this:
If they act like this and we have done nothing but win the right way, what does that say or mean?

It says more about them than it does about you.

quote:

If they act like this and we have done nothing but win the right way, what does that say or mean?

It says those people have a serious problem - not you.

It is easy for me to sit 2500 miles away and say those people need called out, but since you asked, they need called out in front of the whole contingent (players and parents) imho. I don't believe e-mail or some other electronic communications is the way to handle it. Be direct, be emotional, and confront the demon head on. Bring this into the light and God is on your side.

I believe some in our society lead dull, voiceless lives. Nobody cares what they have to say because they don't have anything to say. Now, a couple of times a week they know there will be an audience and by golly they are going to be heard. I say break the cycle. After the next game, call all the players together and ask that the families come within earshot as well. Let them know how petty and hurtful their comments and actions have been. This is not a case of turning the other cheek. It is a case of a good man calling out the wicked because they deserve it.

PS - just to make sure you are clear, I would call out the ones doing it by name so there can be no confusion who you are speaking to.

Coach,

Speaking from the other side of the fence (and the country) I would first say that the pace of a baseball game lends itself to philosophical discussions - do you play the infield in here? would you run here? would you bring in the soft thrower here? etc. I am sure you would agree that those discussions have been part of the enjoyment of the game for us fans and you probably do the same while watching other games. The beauty of baseball is that there are countless decisions made during a game. You probably know more than anyone that each one of those decisions can and will be second-guessed when they don't work out.

However, if negativity is creeping over from the other side of the fence, something has to be done. If I received a general email as a first step, I would think about what the coach is asking and how my actions might be related. But most people probably do not think you are talking about them. You might want to communicate with the ring-leaders directly asking them for thier cooperation in keeping the atmosphere around their kids positive. I would also make it clear that you would be happy to discuss any and all issues privately.

That is my 2 cents. I think many forget that baseball is a game of failure. It takes strong kids to play it well at a high level and even stronger men to coach it. I often wonder why some kids torture themselves by playing this game (particularly my own son who needs it like oxygen), but then occasionally am reminded by the look on their faces when things go well.

HVbaseballDAD - welcome to the hsbbweb and nice first post

My son played for the Hudson Valley Renegades and loved that part of the country. Again, welcome!

Would agree with HVdad. There are many times that some of us dads and other baseball men talk about what we would do and our intent is not to question the coach but to enjoy the game of baseball and the many decisions that are made. I have been in your shoes and decided to back down when my sons were in high school and not coach. I still enjoy having the whatif conversation with others including scouts and radio announcers and other dads. I am not second guessing the coach but just talking baseball. I try to do it in a quiet voice so it is not perceived as such and most of the time I am in the press box where no one can hear anyway. But I do like to talk with my older sons and others about what we would do in similar situations. If that is what is happening, then it is baseball. If they are questioning your coaching then call them out.

quote:

Originally posted by tired of this:
see the things the way we see them...

Or, see things the way their own kids see them. It's not always the same. I learned that lesson a long time ago.

Coach, In the last 10 years parents have evolved into being a "self anointed" part of the team, like it or not. IMHO, this attitude of a minority of parents exists within most programs and I see it as doing nothing positive in regard to the future health of HS baseball. In the end the coaching ranks will lose some great people, and I think you will see some talented kids blow off the game because of the parental drama involved. When all is said and done, the game will survive but coaches will add a new issue to their baseball "passion bucket" and the parent meeting at beginning of the year will carry much more weight.

whoo...last thing you would want to do is call out parents, they can have and say whatever opinions they want, if they were saying how great your program was and what a great baseball mind you are would you call them out?

you might want to take a step back and look at what is causing the concerns which is prompting the comments and remember that you have had this going on all your years of coaching,(it happens to all coaches every year in some way) your ears might not have been as sensitive other years, as a coach of many years i can tell you that is the worst part of coaching but as in any people environment never will everyone be happy, playing time, batting lineup etc
is a core issue, but when you describe that the better players parents are part of the committee of discontent there might be something to understand before you start calling people out.

Coach, keep doing what you are doing. Once in a while you will have people in your program that will not be happy no matter what you do.

Stick to what you believe in and in the long run you will be good to go.

Good luck with the rest of your season.

Lefty...

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"seemingly intelligent moms and dads"

Keyword: seemingly. As others have stated the problem very obviously is not you, your record commands respect, the problem are these few rabble rousing parents.

Perhaps their sons, through no fault of yours, are coming up short in their college search? You've tried, very admirably, to help but it could be their expectations for the next level up are set way too high. That's their problem, not yours.

I think everyone has offered good advice, but I especially like what CD has suggested. Direct, targeted action. The preseason parent meeting, as rz states, is becoming an increasingly more important device to thwart this destructive type of behavior.

Hang in there coach, you're one of the very good ones. The game needs more people like you and less of the people like the parents you have described. I'm pleased to hear that your players have a good grip on the situation. That is evidence that you have indeed done a great job!



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Tough to say w/o witnessing it first hand, however you can't be everyone's friend and some people will never be happy no matter what you do for them or their son.

As an aside one of my son's coaches had a problem with a kids parent yelling out during a game, the coach stood out on the field in front of the dugout yelled out the offending parents kid's name and said "after the game in my office". The coach got everyones attention with that.

I really like what CD said. In person. Direct.

quote:

I think an email to parents might be valuable, or an email to the few parents that seem to be the most vocal

Just don't do it!

We had a coach who did this, and it was one of last nails in his coffin. Whatever you write, however carefully you try to word things, your words are going to get twisted by these same people, and the next thing you know, the AD is getting a copy with distorted and probably hateful commentary. Not to mention the fact that forwarded emails are very, very easy to edit.

Shame on those parents for letting anyone on the field hear their negative commentary. Keep up the good work, coach.

I say ignore it, as long as it's not effecting your players. If it's gotten that far, I think a parents meeting or at least an email is in order.

I honestly believe a lot of the grief coaches get from mostly well meaning parents (you know what they say about good intentions) relates to the fact that many of them didn't play sports at a higher level (meaning High School level stuff or higher). How does that come into play?

Now notice I didn't mention they didn't play BASEBALL. I simply mean higher level SPORTS. I coached a kid who's Dad played Div I college football. He told me he knew NOTHING about baseball beyond what he sees on TV and what he learned playing through his early teen age years. His son was a great kid and clearly got his work ethic and mentality for competitive sports from his Dad (and mom played Volleyball in college I believe) so he had the correct mentality being taught to him. Because they had been there.

I fully prepared my son for JV tryouts as an 8th grader. Let him know that odds are he would sit...A LOT as an 8th grader. Told him to just worry about what HE Can control, and last I checked he doesn't make the line up card, and work hard. So when he ended up winning a starting position, I think it felt all that much better to him.

He tells me a lot about the interaction between the kids. He tells me that most of the kids who do sit a lot and don't get a lot of playing time, they UNDERSTAND why they don't. They understand the better player is playing, and that's just not them right now. After some of the talks we have, I honestly get the feeling a few of these kids are playing simply because they think their parents expect it. The vast majority of these kids, who don't get a lot of playing time, are perfectly fine with it. It's SOME of their parents who get upset. And all the parents I see in my personal experience, who either played HS sports or their spouse played HS sports, they seem to get it.

Honestly I try to stay out of playing time discussions. If it's brought up I just normally stay quiet or just not mumble something and keep watching the game. If they continue to try and engage me I'll excuse myself and go watch the game from another spot.

I honestly believe that some parents think other people "judge" them by the performance (or lack of) of their own child on a sports field. As crazy as it sounds to some, I Truly believe that.

The players USUALLY Get it. Unfortunately some parents choose to voice their complaints and thoughts in front of their kid...and sometimes this rubs off.

And a Coach can HELP these players get it. I remember coaching a team where one kid was actually starting, but sharing time with another kid, who was slowly edging him out. I was trying to give both kids equal chances to earn their playing time. After winning a game, this kid mumbled something about coming out. This was during a team meeting. So without yelling I confronted him. Asked him if he thought he was better than the kid sharing his playing time? Not waiting for him to answer, I then asked him if I asked every player privately who was better, and who should be playing, how would they answer?

I moved on, and never had another issue.

Sometimes a kid hears his parents and just parrots what they say.

Not to mention with so many parents helping and coaching youth baseball (don't get me wrong this CAN be a GOOD thing for the kids and baseball) who really had no playing experience, once you get past a certain age group, they simply don't know that much about the game.

Notice I said the GAME. I know Dads that have studied the swing up and down and can teach it VERY Well. I know those who have studied pitching, fielding etc the same way...but when it comes to the "little" things that happen during a game. Strategy, situations, etc..much of that, in my lowly opinion, comes from playing or watching high levels of the game.

So if it's not effecting your players, I say just ignore it. My wife used to be amazed that I didn't hear this or that while I was coaching. I told her if it's not happening on the field, during a game, I could care less. When she would tell me this person said this or that I would just listen to her and then play it off. I think people, myself included in other situations, tend to speak about something in the heat of the moment and 5 minutes later it's forgotten. We just don't realize other people can hear what we say.

If it is effecting them (your TEAM / players), talk to the TEAM and PLAYERS then address the players AND the parents at the SAME TIME. You'l see some glaring looks from kid to parents I think...more of a "See Dad I told you." thing.

Hope this helps some.

Good luck.

Agree with CD and 2Bmom - direct and emotional (you have been betrayed) - no emails for small-minded to obsess over.

At the same time, somehow finish allowing them to come back into the fold. "Let's put this behind this and return to where we once were."

As coaches we all get some negative feed back from the stands. I was getting some at one game early in the year when we were struggling to win a game. I had a fan (who did not have a son playing) over hear some parent complaining. The fan told him to shut his mouth and told him that throwing a pick off into right field and dropping a routine pop up was not bad coaching it was bad genetics. I found it kind of funny, and glad I had at least one supporter.

Anyway, coach I hope you keep your head up and keep working with the kids the way it should be done

quote:

Originally posted by gotwood4sale:

"seemingly intelligent moms and dads"

Keyword: seemingly. As others have stated the problem very obviously is not you, your record commands respect, the problem are these few rabble rousing parents.

Hmmm... so what if his record spoke for itself in a NEGATIVE way? And what if he never lifted a finger to help any of his players w/ their college searches (or heck, even returned phone calls from Legion teams who inquired about his players)? THEN is it ok for parents to let their comments be heard (perhaps on purpose)???

Coach I feel your pain and have been questioning things myself here lately. I'm afraid high school sports are going down the wrong road but I'm going to go down with the ship kicking, screaming, fighting, biting to try and right it. I hope you join with me.

First bit of advice - don't change at all for anybody or to try and appease anyone. I doubt you will and you already know this but it's sometimes good to hear it from someone else. Keep fighting the good fight.

Second bit of advice - how is your relationship with the players? If things are fine with the players and they respect you and do what you say then I'm not sure if I would do anything. Some players will take on the negative attitude of their parents and some won't. If they have great attitudes, work hard and seem to enjoy what's going on I wouldn't do anything. You've won that fight no matter what they say. We're here to help the kids and not the parents. I'm willing to bet that you do this too but I do everything I can to not let my feelings for a parent affect how I feel / interact with their kid. If the mouthy parent's kids are fine on the team then do the hardest thing in sports - ignore the idiots.

Third bit of advice - try to figure out if it's baseball talk or if it's venom. Parents have paid their $5 to get into the game so if they want to think or say they would have done this in that situation then no big deal. Like someone said earlier it could be just baseball talk and nothing wrong with that. Now if it's pure garbage that is trying to turn people against you and the staff then it needs to stop. Try to find someone who is impartial that you trust to hang around them and listen. Let them report back to you if it's baseball talk or negative stuff. Probably can't do the AD or principal because they will shut up around them. Maybe a fellow teacher that they wouldn't realize is listening to them. Let them help you decide if it's baseball talk or very bad stuff.

Fourth bit of advice - once you figure out that it's really negative stuff go to the AD / principal with what's going on. While I'm all in favor of confronting them your bosses may not be. Let them in the loop as to what's going on and how you want to handle it. One thing administrators hate is to be blindsided by parent complaints. The one thing you have to watch out for with a confrontation is them trying to turn it into a he said / they said to make you look bad. With an administrator there it protects you from those who are trying to make things up.

Fifth bit of advice - have the meeting with everyone first. Tell them what you're hearing and tell them it's not acceptable. Give them the chance to fix it first but if it continues then something has to be done. It might be something extreme like barring the parents from watching games or removing their son from the team. Hopefully it won't come to that but sometimes you have to take extreme measures. Whether anybody likes it or not parents are part of the team. Three things go into a program - players, coaches and parents. You lay out expectations for the players and sometimes you have to do the same for the parents.

Sixth bit of advice - if the whole parent meeting doesn't clue them in they need to change see if the AD will meet with them with you. If getting sat down and told specifically they are a problem doesn't work then there probably isn't any hope for them. It may come down to barring them from games or removing their kid. It stinks to punish the child for the parents behavior but sometimes hard decisions have to be made.

It's easy for us or you to say "get tougher skin" but when you pour your heart and soul into something it hurts when people criticize it unfairly. This is also what makes bad coaches hard to change. They put everything into the program (or think they do) and they don't see their mistakes which lead to complaints. But when it's a good coach doing the right thing it still hurts but it does validate the coach to stand up for himself.

Maybe the parent meeting will cause the good parents to stand up and tell them to shut up. The good ones are probably sick and tired of hearing them too but good parents typically won't say anything. Good parents don't want to upset the apple cart because they get it but sometimes this is also not good. We as coaches are hoping one of the good ones say something because it should carry more weight than if we say something. Maybe the parent meeting will cause them to stand up to them.

Good luck coach and keep fighting the good fight.

Were these comments directed to you or just parents blowing off steam in the stands?

Everybody is going to get questioned. My favorite MLB manager is Mike Scioscia. While I'm sitting in my easy chair watching a game I'll wonder several times a game what the heck he's thinking simply because he's doing it differently than I would.

There's a reason I'm sitting in the easy chair and he's a successful manager. What he does works. So next time I watch a game on TV I'll sit in my easy chair and I'll still wonder what the heck he's doing when he gets a runner thrown out at third with no outs trying to go from 1st to 3rd on a single. I know it is part of his style and despite the statistics it makes the team better as a whole but when that runner gets thrown out I'll still complain to the TV or whoever happens to be around.

The point is that some parents are always going to spout off about things like that. They're nervous about their kids and they are going to say things. Some of the things they say are going to be pretty dumb and some are going to be hurtful.

As a coach you have to take it with a grain of salt. It is still going to hurt and it is still going to bother you but you've handled it this long and you know it isn't going to change. Next time just remember that the best managers in MLB get questioned all the time. You are in good company.

BTW, thanks for going that extra mile for the kids. Not every coach does that.

Coach- you have an "old timer" on this site that absolutely sings your praises as to how high school coaching should be. This man has been through every stage of baseball and is highly respected here. We know you're one of the "good guys" that goes the extra mile for your players. That said, you have to realize that so many baseball parents are really clueless about what really goes on. Unfortunately they are usually the most vocal and in actuality they are making fools of themselves.

I think you just have to hang in there and keep doing the best you can. I hope at some point another parent on the team will tell them how clueless they are and they will sit back,shut up, and enjoy the game. As my son has risen in the ranks to college ball you realize that quite often the parents that do get it do have sons playing at a higher level and maybe they've learned along the way how to be a better team parent. If they don't learn it in high school and are lucky (or good enough) to play college ball
they will quickly learn it doesn't fly in college with coaches or parents in the stands.

Good luck with play-offs. Hope your team goes far this season.

Coaches:

When you coach, you are the employer, the leader
and you have the responsibility for this team [unit].
The players, parents are employees!

This country has "freedom" of speech, however you can direct this freedom for a private or public discussion.

If you desire, I can send you a video of the Japan HS coaches selecting their team to play in Koshien before 40,000 people each game. The 4,000 HS coaches all are trained with knowledge from the "Book of the Five Rings", a story of Miyamoto Musashi, the greatest samurai of Japan.

Parents have total respect for the Coach.
Why? Next chapter.

Bob
<www.goodwillseries.org>

i was our booster club president for a long time. when we had our first annual meeting ,with all fr,so,jr,sr parents there. i would always lead with, we aren't here to b@#$h about or bash coaches, we are here to help get what these kids need.

it may or may not have helped. but i felt better. you'll never stop it, but you may not have to hear it.

I like my son's high school coach. However, he does pull some head scratching moves. From my travel coaching background parents will question me on the coach's moves. I always respond there's more than one way to approach the game situation in question (no matter how much I disagree with the coach). I only analyze these situations in private with the couple of dads who are long time friends I trust the conversation won't go any further.

The coach knew there were rumblings. Last year no one knew the stranger in the stands was the coach's fiance. She ratted out the parents. The coach sent out a stinging "if you think you can do better" and "I deserve more respect for all I do" email. While I agreed with much of what the coach wrote in the email he blew his credibility with many of the parents.

I see negatives about my son's coach my son doesn't see. I don't mention these things to my son. It's not my baseball experience. I've had my turn. If my son doesn't see these negative and likes the coach, the coach is good enough for me. I'd rather congratulate the coach for turning a perennial loser into a winner (conference title) during my son's tenure than publicly criticize him.

Do your job and believe in yourself. You can be in the minority opinion on your performance and still be right.

When I coached travel, the first few times I second guessed myself on sending or holding runners at third I thought to myself, "These parents must think I'm stupid." Then I decided it's me, not them who has to make split second decisions and stopped concerning myself with what parents thought of my coaching. Worrying about parents can only be a distraction.

Sounds to me like the coach planted a spy in the stands? C'mon, his fiance couldn't sit in a chair away from the bleachers like many others do? Why would she willingly go sit among the parents - many of which we all know aren't happy (usually based on playing time)???

quote:

Originally posted by Sandman:

quote:

Originally posted by gotwood4sale:

"seemingly intelligent moms and dads"

Keyword: seemingly. As others have stated the problem very obviously is not you, your record commands respect, the problem are these few rabble rousing parents.

Hmmm... so what if his record spoke for itself in a NEGATIVE way? And what if he never lifted a finger to help any of his players w/ their college searches (or heck, even returned phone calls from Legion teams who inquired about his players)? THEN is it ok for parents to let their comments be heard (perhaps on purpose)???

bump

["Hmmm... so what if his record spoke for itself in a NEGATIVE way? And what if he never lifted a finger to help any of his players w/ their college searches (or heck, even returned phone calls from Legion teams who inquired about his players)? THEN is it ok for parents to let their comments be heard (perhaps on purpose)???"

I don't know... If you're in church and disagree with something in the sermon, do you call out, "That's bull#$%@!", or do you speak to the pastor, privately, about your concerns? Do you make loud, derogatory comments at work? Or, do you speak to employees/employer privately about policy and resources?

If you don't like the coach and feel his/her time is up, there are ways to do things. Making an *** out of yourself at the game is not the best way.

We have moved from treating others the way we believe we should be treated. To treating others the same way we believe we are being treated.

Justify acting like a complete a__ because you believe your son is being treating wrong.

I wonder how many times a college coach has walked away from a HS field and liked a player but they never knew because they found out that jack a__ was the players parent?

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I've witnessed just that Coach May. An assistant coach from Kentucky, while scouting a tournament in Cedar Rapids, literally scratched out a player on his list when it became known that a very loudmouth dad was this player's dad. It happens.


(player's dad)............(chance of player remaining on recruiting list)

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quote:

I wonder how many times a college coach has walked away from a HS field and liked a player but they never knew because they found out that jack a__ was the players parent?

So simple, so true!

When we havin' that beer Coach May? Its on me.

As someone mentioned, this thread was started by a truly GREAT HS coach. I wish you could all experience this man. I'm somewhat unaware of the "issues" since I learned long ago that I am happiest away from the grandstand. But I can assure you, Coach, that you are the best we have come in contact with.

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"Hmmm... so what if his record spoke for itself in a NEGATIVE way?"

That's totally a different situation. Don't burn any bridges and don't let the coach hear negative comments. Remember, unless he is ousted he still pulls all the strings.



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"I think these people know better than to complain around me – I would tell them to shut up."

With my big mouth I've learned to recognize the moms that have no qualms about telling me to shut up.

I especially steer clear of the ones toting a sack of these...





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Knowing who you are coach, I actually feel a bit humbled that you are asking us for advice.

UF Head Coach Kevin O' Sullivan told me once that if he took most of what is said personally (that includes from parents), he would have been gone long ago (from the game).

I know it's hurtful, just keep in mind even the most successful coaches, get ripped, if it's coming from teh same 3 or 4, it's not you and most importantly, I think that the players realize that.

Hang in there and if all else fails, let Mrs.JBB lose on them! You go girl!

quote:

Originally posted by Coach_May:

I wonder how many times a college coach has walked away from a HS field and liked a player but they never knew because they found out that jack a__ was the players parent?

I forgot to add this..... I would imagine a lot of times.

We never really know whose watching or listening do we?

tired of this.

Hope it does not happen but wait till the letter to the AD or principal that is not signed complaining about what you did or did not do. Not all parents do this but it only takes one or two to make things difficult.

Hi coach, sorry to hear about this.

Wish I could give you some advice, but I'm too busy trying to hide from parents like that. I'm betting it harms their son more than it does you. Maybe that's the thing that's bothering you the most.

Obviously you have had great accomplishments and have helped many young kids. I think you are the best one to figure out what to do. But FWIW, Back in the coaching days, I used to tell all our players this...

There might be 2,000 people watching the game, and we will do things that only a few will understand. But those few will be the ones that we will want to impress. In other words, it's the parents that know what's going on that count. Problem is, those who know would agree, many parents have no idea. The game is very simple for them.

Don't worry about anything, you've earned tremendous respect from everyone that knows you and who really counts. Anyway, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. You're just frustrated! That's not any fun. Tomorrow's a new day. Just like every other day, you will wake up being one of the best baseball coaches in the country.

Thank you all so much for the advice, support, affirmation, ideas, suggestions and overall excellent advice. You have lifted my spirits and given me perspective.

I truly appreciate your thoughts.

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"You have lifted my spirits and given me perspective."

That's a nice way to spend a Friday evening coach!




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quote:

I am in my 29th year as a head coach. Have been very successful. More than I could have ever hoped. Blessed with a great job at a great school with great kids and families to coach. Hard for me to imagine a better high school situation.

For what it's worth, after reading your first paragraph in your original post, I immediately thought that you ought to post that somewhere prominently at your residence or work and just keep reminding yourself how successful you obviously are and don't forget that you earned it with your own blood, sweat and tears. Anyone that voices their displeasure in something that happens in your program is a pitiful buffoon.

Simple success is to know what you are doing, love what you are doing and believe in what you are doing.

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Coach (tired of this),

I feel your pain. I too have great respect for your accomplishments, your methods, your success, your product and the quality of people who sing your phrases. From all that I know you are one of those who truly do get it. I apologize for us parents. Not much I can offer, but I’ll ramble a little bit….

I agree with RZ1 “In the last 10 years parents have evolved into being a "self anointed" part of the team, like it or not.“ The parental role of baseball has gone the way of tennis and golf….we (parents) have become personal coaches and career managers…lessons and travel teams (once fun trips) are now investments and career moves…we truly feel as if we are part of the team too…we too want our say, our attention, our hard earned due…we want to be “starters”…and worse yet we feel that as a result that we AND our son’s are “entitled”(I find it very ironic that we often talk on the HSBBW about how important it is to go where you can play – never settle for sitting – and then we wonder why, after setting that as the standard, parents demand their kids start.) All that being the case we are not going away, it is a new era, this kind of stuff is here to stay.

IMO There are three ways to handle this.

The first is aggressively. And while it sounds good in theory, sadly we parents are far more relentless and invested than to roll over for that. Confrontation, only ratchets up the drama, and it is the drama and negative emotion that we often feed on. Drama gives us purchase, emotion and something to latch onto…someone specific to blame for our shortcomings and woes…and the coach is an even easier target if he has set himself up as our foe. We are like punching the tar baby, once you start that process you will never rid yourself of us and the relationship will be a corrosive one, a corrosive culture for all.

The second is to stay silent…and continue to be thought a fool, and ignore it…confident in your knowledge that you have done the best that you can for every player, knowing that your methods and procedures are sound, your heart in the right place and understanding that we in the stands know not what we do. That is what our HS coach did to a great extent and it worked.

The final option is to recognize that it is indeed a new era…that you are no longer a coach but an educator, communicator, and marketer. You educate the players, now sadly you will have to educate us parents as well….Blog/emails/meetings/website…about how this HSBB thing could/should work, about what the realities of sport are, about double goal coaching, about why we are so fortunate to have you, about what great things you are doing for our sons, about how you appreciate them, about the value that sport offers beyond signing in the first round or college” full rides” about the fact that the decisions are well thought out, about the challenges you face, about tasks the parents could take on to get involved and help the team succeed, so that we can be a part and understand that you may not be perfect but you are a man we can trust and admire even though we may not agree with all your decisions. Some will refuse and but if you can win over the vast majority with communication, and engagement that will go a long way toward building a supportive team in the stands, one who may question you but respects you, and extending the culture of character that you seek in the dugout. Our HS coach also did a great job of this, by selling us "the program" he convinced us that being a part of this winning tradition, any part or contribution, was something that had to be experienced by our sons...and us. We still grumbled but we trusted.


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