Decommiting

This is the dilemma, IMO, of committing too early, out of sight, out of mind.

When son committed, his pitching coach called every week and the HC once a month.

My son's 2019 teammates that are committed are in pretty regular contact with the RC (once or twice a month calls), and a number of the coaches have attended our games at tournaments we played in.  This is the case for Power5 and other D1 school commitments.  I am curious - is something other than lack of communication causing a concern?  You mentioned that your son is hoping he plays so well in the spring that things will work themselves out - has his performance this summer and fall been a concern?

He had a ok school ball season. Started every game and lead in most offensive categories.  Really good summer on a top rated travel team.(Started and played every inning on his team all summer)  Almost every game there were D1 coaches there. Some asking his travel coach if he was still committed so I think there is still interest from other schools.  He doesn't call the coaches from the school he committed  to(Says he doesn't know what to say) Before he committed he spoke with the RC once a week, after that hardly ever. Coaches did call him on the first day they could contact him but he has probably only talked to them twice since then. Both times when he called. Whats the normal amount of contact he should be having?

my main question still is concerning what to expect if he decommits?  Anyone with  experience in that area?

I personally would be concerned, in our experience there was more communication.

Just my opinion here, but I think there is too much emphasis here on 'Contact' w/ Coaches after committing . You said it was a power 5 program correct? If that's the case those guys are Busy . Right now fall ball. This past summer recruiting . They Offered him, they called him at the first opportunity for phone contact for 2019's and you said they've reassured him everything is fine....Whats the problem?

RC at a power 5 has no reason to call if he's already a commit . His phone time is valuable and he's going to spend it on uncommitted guys. They don't really have anything to say to the guys that have committed . As a matter of fact they don't have a whole lot to say to the players that are currently on their roster.....haha. The only time a HC talks to a player is usually when the player is in trouble or there is an injury or an academic issue. They interact with players daily on the field and in one on ones . But it's strictly business . Very little small talk. 

Some RC's keep an eye on commits and pay attention to HS ball performance but most don't . HS ball season runs parallel to NCAA Season.They simply don't have the time to do that. Also, Power 5 school RC trusts their eyes in recruiting players and don't really care a whole lot about HS ball. Unless there is an injury .

Don't worry. They will make contact for your sons official visit next fall. Then again before they FedEx NLI's

As far as decommiting goes , my understanding is that unless there is a serious issue at home financially that prohibits paying any tuition or a series academic problem it's a bad idea . College baseball is a small town . All these coaches talk and know one another. Especially at the power 5 level......It's a really bad look for a kid to decommit because he feels like he hasn't received sufficient attention from the Baseball Department since they offered him .

The 'major ramification' you asked about would be the potential damage to your sons reputation. His integrity would be called into question by backing out of the initial deal.....And if word got out that he backed out because of the lack of attention thing , he'd also be labeled as insecure and needy.

Communication is a two way street. If I were your son, I would be communicating with his preferred contact (RC or coach that recruited him) even if it is one way once a week.He should provide a short text or VM with an update on any baseball activity or strength/conditioning he has done for the week. Power 5 coaches are getting texts from 50-60 kids a day from whom they are recruiting. Plus they have a coaching job to do as well. As a commit, your son is on his speed dial and is at the top of that coaches contact list. But really,  he should feel confident about that and should have asked the coach these types of "is it ok if I..." questions already.  The one thing I tell my son is never worry about the reply, just feel confident that you made the call!

I offer this advice after sitting behind a gaggle of coaches last weekend at the AZ Fall Classic. Its amazing what you hear when they all get together and talk about the process. The network of coaches is very small. The do talk to one another. Don't think they don't. Most of what I heard was impressive and extremely positive. The knowledge they have about every player in their program and the players they are recruiting is incredible. I say this because my son has matured by leaps and bounds from June after finishing his sophomore year to now his first semester of his Junior year. I can attribute this to him attending Headfirst Honor Roll Camp and the recruiting process. All the  coaches he has been in contact with have treated him like a man and he has responded very well. He has improved his communication skills dramatically! Our friends and family members wonder who this new kid is!

I agree with 2019CubDad.   Your son (and you) need to make every effort to make this work and it is a two way street between recruit/player and coach.   You don't want to seem needy but you also don't want your son to go back on his word especially if there was something he can do about it.    Put your time and energy into making this work before considering another path that could have the same issues.   Your son has lots of time.

If, after all his efforts don't seem to work then you think about the next step.  Post something here and I'm sure there will be people to help.

As always, JMO.

Thanks for the replies   Great information and I truly appreciate it!

.Decommitting  is the LAST option and one that will hopefully never be anything but a brief post by a paranoid dad.(My son has never discussed this, only asked what if they decide they don't want me when it's time to sign)

I was just curious about the ramifications as I too have heard its really not looked upon well. On the flip side as I have become more engaged into some of the recruiting of kids a year or two ahead of my son that he interacts with I have seen a couple of incidents where the schools pulled their offers at the last minute leaving these kids without another option.  Why is that not a problem? That seems to be kept very quite. You don't hear coaches talking about that.

At the end of the day my son wants to be there and I told him this morning that he needs to reach out to the coaches regularly even if just a text to say hello, update them on school, grades, baseball etc and be confident that they wanted him for a reason.  Being 16 is full of self doubt and uncertainty but I have seen him starting to mature and I am sure this experience is one he will only learn from.

Great site.  I have learned more in the past month here then I ever thought was possible.  
invaluable tool for parents with kids being recruited.  I only wish I had found it prior to our recruiting journey although I think he would have still wanted to go to the same school. Maybe we would have been a bit wiser about asking certain questions or waiting a little longer before making a final decision.

My son's story is well documented here. Several mis-steps by me along the way (Guilty as charged) but ultimately, at least 10 schools who recruited him "post-decommit" never brought it up and seemed to not care that he did it. Frankly, they were glad he was back on the market and he ended up closer to home, which is why he changed his mind.

I wish you and your son well, sounds like he is playing well and shouldnt have anything to worry about. 

I wouldn't be too worried about it....at least right now.  If it's a power 5, they just finished up their last weekend of recruiting last weekend (Jupiter)....and are also likely in the middle of fall ball.  I would go ahead and just send them a text....letting them know that school is going good, if he's playing fall ball or conditioning, etc.  Heck, if he's a football player, tell them how his season is going.  I would expect that once things slow down over the next few weeks/month that he'll get some more contact.  If it goes on quite a while or they don't respond to his text(s) then maybe there is an issue....but at this point I wouldn't think too much of it.  Is it close enough that you could catch a fall ball weekend or a football game?  Maybe getting on campus and seeing them would be a good way to gauge their interest?  If it's too far to consider that option, as I said, just wait it out, at least a couple more months and see where things go.  

Is the school close to home? My son would tell coaches he was going to be in town and asked for tickets for football and basketball games. Always asked them if they had time for a quick visit.

Follow your gut - which is good advice for lots of things besides baseball. The biggest mistakes I have made in my life occurred when I didn't listen to the little voice inside my head.  If something feels wrong it probably is - and it  wont fix itself either. The lack of communication is troubling and could be a foreshadow of how the staff at this school deals with their players.  If it were my kid, I would be looking for options.  Just my opinion.

adbono posted:

Follow your gut - which is good advice for lots of things besides baseball. The biggest mistakes I have made in my life occurred when I didn't listen to the little voice inside my head.  If something feels wrong it probably is - and it  wont fix itself either. The lack of communication is troubling and could be a foreshadow of how the staff at this school deals with their players.  If it were my kid, I would be looking for options.  Just my opinion.

I like this response and a couple above.  Work to keep communicating.  Understand they may be busy.  If that voice stays there for a long time, be direct and ask them if  they still feel good about committing.  Best if mutual, if things go that way.  Better soon than fall of freshman year.

Baseball2019 posted:

Thanks for the replies   Great information and I truly appreciate it!

.Decommitting  is the LAST option and one that will hopefully never be anything but a brief post by a paranoid dad.(My son has never discussed this, only asked what if they decide they don't want me when it's time to sign)

I was just curious about the ramifications as I too have heard its really not looked upon well. On the flip side as I have become more engaged into some of the recruiting of kids a year or two ahead of my son that he interacts with I have seen a couple of incidents where the schools pulled their offers at the last minute leaving these kids without another option.  Why is that not a problem? That seems to be kept very quite. You don't hear coaches talking about that.

At the end of the day my son wants to be there and I told him this morning that he needs to reach out to the coaches regularly even if just a text to say hello, update them on school, grades, baseball etc and be confident that they wanted him for a reason.  Being 16 is full of self doubt and uncertainty but I have seen him starting to mature and I am sure this experience is one he will only learn from.

 

Great site.  I have learned more in the past month here then I ever thought was possible.  
invaluable tool for parents with kids being recruited.  I only wish I had found it prior to our recruiting journey although I think he would have still wanted to go to the same school. Maybe we would have been a bit wiser about asking certain questions or waiting a little longer before making a final decision.

'....At the end of the day my son wants to be there and I told him this morning that he needs to reach out to the coaches regularly even if just a text to say hello, update them on school, grades, baseball etc and be confident that they wanted him for a reason.  Being 16 is full of self doubt and uncertainty but I have seen him starting to mature and I am sure this experience is one he will only learn from'

Baseball2019 , You nailed it right there. Be confident ! and don't be shy about checking in w/RC about school, Baseball , Standardized test scores/progress. And YES , your son will learn a lot and mature in this process.

My son was offered really early also. Wasn't quite ready to commit. Once he did , it was quiet . They didn't reach out to him much. Also, we are in Los Angeles and he committed to play baseball in the South . Which is and felt like a long ways away. There were moments when he wondered what was going on and I would encourage him to text the RC

I remember him texting updates on ACT score. His HS team was very good and when they advanced to regional championship game he texted them and they responded about how they were rooting for him and the team. Also, he sent texts not necessarily about him , but about THEM. Wishing them well in conference finals. I remember mens BB played Duke and he texted a "GO TEAM" type school pride text while watching the game on ESPN.

But ultimately, as I stated in an earlier post, there wasn't much contact coming from them. And that was fine. He's a Sophomore in College now and it makes a lot more sense than it did back when he was committed but had yet to sign his NLI .What is clear now is how damn busy these coaches are . It's non-stop. Year round!

I understand that sort of ' Whats going on' feeling . But from my experience , everything sounds OK.

Thanks guys.  What a great community site here.  He's going to reach out to the RC this weekend for a quick hello.  I will update down the road. Still a lot of baseball to be played in his HS career. Told him to enjoy the ride and have fun!

Just a thought. But they did their job, got you to commit. He isn't old enough to sign an NLI yet. 

There doesn't need to be constant communication. Maybe a periodic update.  However, if you don't like it, talk to the coach before deciding to decommit. 

Coaches are friendly when they are recruiting you. After that, it's a little different. 

D1catcher posted:

Just a thought. But they did their job, got you to commit. He isn't old enough to sign an NLI yet. 

There doesn't need to be constant communication. Maybe a periodic update.  However, if you don't like it, talk to the coach before deciding to decommit. 

Coaches are friendly when they are recruiting you. After that, it's a little different. 

This should be a golden post.

Not only is it the coaches job to recruit you and get you to committ, it's also his job to make sure that you sign the NLI and show up on campus.  It is the players job to make sure that he maintains an acceptable GPA and test scores and continue to perform well on the field. He can initiate contact in some way, but he isn't paid to do that job.

Communication between player and coach is vital to formulate a relationship BEFORE the player arrives. This is essentially on the coaching staff to make this happen. Coaches that remain in contact with the player, tells you a lot more about the coach who never does. There are specific rules for engagement for early committs, but still, there has to be communication.

One thing to note. The 2018 signing period is a few weeks away. Coaches are busy staying in touch with those they expect to sign. I know a coach who was in the office until 9pm making phone calls. That's part of his job. Coaches are constantly on the phone between possible recruits, committed recruits as well as signed recruits. 

So I would give it a few weeks until after the NLI signing period, then if you don't start hearing on a regular basis, there might have to be a serious conversation between your son and the coach and he has to decide if this staff will be a good fit for him.

greatgame posted:

Is the school close to home? My son would tell coaches he was going to be in town and asked for tickets for football and basketball games. Always asked them if they had time for a quick visit.

 

This.  If your son hasn't made an unofficial this fall, and assuming that it's within a day trip drive and overnight stay, shame on you guys.  He should definitely have made an attempt to get on campus, watch a fall workout/scrimmage, and attended a football game.  He should absolutely take the reigns on making that happen.  As others have mentioned, this is an extremely busy time for college coaches.  Most are having their '18's in for official visits, managing their fall workouts/scrimmages, and wrapping up the fall recruiting effort (Jupiter just finished up).  I'm sure most are letting the committed '19's simmer on the back burner as they prioritize their uncommitted '19's/20's, and solidifying their '18 earlier signers.  All the while, getting the new team ready for spring.

All that said, it is a great opportunity for your son to stay front and center by making an unofficial.  If his school is still having scrimmages, make every effort to find a weekend that he can get there and catch a football game as well.

My son was also an early commit but definitely stayed in touch with the RC/HC and he also coordinated us making a fall trip up to see a football game and watch scrimmage, as well as finding a spring weekend baseball game for he and I to get up and catch when he had a break from his HS season.  As a point of reference, we're about 3.5 - 4 hr one way drive from his school.  

You and your son's concerns may be totally unfounded, but much better to get front and center and see in person if you should be concerned rather than simply sit back and wonder.

"......Then again before they FedEx NLI's......"

Son's NLI came as an email.  Just a FYI.  Signed at a certain time/day and scanned and emailed back.