Well, this is not difficult at all.
First, if you have a son that is old enough to play, he is the shortshop and pitches.
The booster club president's son is the #1 pitcher and plays short when your son pitches.
Now, this part of the defense will change when the athletic director's son get's out of basketball, depending on where he wants to play.
The son of the best looking momma in the booster club plays centerfield. That is where the song "Look at me coach, I can play centerfield" comes from.
Your incoming booster club president's son plays second base.
It is difficult but you just find a place to hide the high school principal's son. Usually RF, depending on how many seniors you have that have never played. He will bat 9th in the lineup
The one returning senior you have, that was out with an injury last year, but has contributed greatly from the bench since he was a freshman will play LF and hit 8th.
The incoming junior, whose mom has manned the concession stand since he was a freshman, will be at 1B. You can assume that his speed will be slow. Concession stand profits have suffered the last two years.
My son is an incoming sophmore that plays on the Elite of the Elites national travel all the time travel team that catches, so you should be in great shape at catcher. He has only been to one Perfect Game showcase in Florida, though, but has already received 46 hand written notes from the biggest D1 schools across the country. His mamma will not work the concession stand.
There is a new lady in the booster club that has kept the book for her son's travel team. Her son is a freshman pitcher. He is your #2 pitcher and will play 3B when he is not pitching.
So, here is the starting lineup for your 2009 varsity baseball team.
Leading off and playing second base is the incoming booster club president's son.
Hitting second and playing CF is the booster club good looking mamma's son, if she is blond. (He might have to hit 9th if she is brunette, and then the principals son will hit second)
My son hits third and catches.
Cleaning things up and playing 1B is the concession stand momma's son. (Yes, when he hits it, it goes a long, long way.)
Hitting 5th is the scorekeepers son, even though he has the highest average on the team, he has to hit 5th and will be playing 3B.
Your son, the pitcher, will hit sixth even though he has the second highest on base % on the team. (Yes, the scorekeeper is recently divorced, not final, but has been long enough for your son's stats to improve.)
Hitting 7th and the shortstop is the athletic director's son (he is also the varsity footbabll quarterback and is headed to the University of State) who pitched last night on the bottom side of a 10-0 run rule.
In left field and hitting 8th will be your returning senior who has earned his playing time.
In right field and batting 9th will be the principal's son.
The booster club presidents son pitched two night ago and threw 178 pitches in 5 innings so he has the night off.
Given my status as an "old timer", you should print this out and hand it out at your next coaches meeting.
It will help them with their lineups and when it comes time for the all-district selections meeting.
And, don't forget to prepare a video of every player, take a picture and paste it on the resume and, mail it to every D1 school in the country. (Be sure to include the CF's momma's pic for him.)
For those of you that have trouble separating truth from fiction, I just sat here and made all of this up just this morning. None of this has every really happened.