Drinking and the college baseball player

I'm a fuddy-duddy too when I hear the beer pong table has overtaken the batting cage as a place of preference.

note: I understand not all guys are doing this before you bash me.

Host families have big responsiblities imho. I have no problem with a host family letting a kid who is of legal age having a few beers after a game and assuming there is no driving involved.

Party Central is a whole different animal. No way do you allow that to happen. If someone should get sick, injured, or worse, you would be liable for the consequences. I pretty much would treat those kids how I treated my own kids. A beer or two around the house when no driving was involved is ok. Anything more than that and you have to put a stop to it

My how things have changed over the years. I know very well how college athletes drink/party just like regular students. Just a few of my personal ideas:
1. As a host family I would not purchase/provide beer to the student athletes.
2. Most of the players know that they are not going pro and just want to have a little fun over the Summer.
3. The truth is that most of the players are tired and would rather be home working a job & taking care of Suzzie Shagwell @ night but the coach is making them play. With baseball in the Fall, Spring & Summer these kids have more baseball than the pros and many of them need both a mental and physical break.
4. Any host family that allows their home to become party central is asking for trouble.
5. I know of one player in the Cape last season that had a bad experience due to the host family mother. She would phone this player after each game and tell him to be home by 11:00pm. When I ask if this was an old "Blue Hair" woman I was informed that the lady was around 35 with a young family. One thing that I have learned about being around college kids (both male & female) is that they don't go out until 10:00pm & they don't get back home until about 2:00am. This may not be what is best for the kids but the fact is this is how college kids operate.
6. While it is not easy to find host families it could be that the teams need to do a better job of informing the host families of what to expect.

quote:

With baseball in the Fall, Spring & Summer these kids have more baseball than the pros and many of them need both a mental and physical break.

That is very true.My sons college summer team is playing way to many games and considerable travel even out of state.In the next 12 days he has 11 games, after just finishing 6 in three days out of state.He is exhausted.he got home last night about midnight, and except for eating, he hasnt got up yet.His team has alot of injured players so there are no infielders, making him have to play every game.My son loves the game, but this is too much.Other kids have missed for this or that and he hasnt missed anything.
I think he needs a week off at least.It takes away from working out and just having some down time.Players bodies change as they get older, they are more like adults where they get sore and tired.They are not like little kids that go and go.
I think 50 plus games in two months is crazy, esp,when your playing every one.

You'd be amazed that this is just an extension for many from college.
The team son played for one summer had very strict rules, curfew and an early morning job. Host familes are not allowed to serve underage players beer, but I'll bet that a few were left in the fridge for a player to take on their own.
I know my son was too tired at night to do anything but go eat, go home and go to bed. He never even went to the beach. After his morning camp job, he went to the gym then back to the field. He worked hard. Plus there are many scouts out and about and you don't want them to see you about. But this was an atmospjere where most who play are pro prospects
The league needs to make strict rules, and stick to them.
I know when my son left for the cape (or anywhere else they played) his HC told them, don't you do anything to embarrass me or the school that you play for. That threat alone probably kept everyone on their best behavior. I know the person in charge of host families doesn't like players of certain programs, too much trouble.

Can you blame the host families 100%, no, because they most likely think that they are doing the right thing. IMO, it's up to the player, he represents his school as an ambassador of the program and that is something that he has always respected, even to this day.

Lots of young mothers love the young stud baseball players to hang around with them and the family while teh husband is in teh big city working hard. You have to be real careful of that situation.

Now I am not saying son is a golden child, he worked real hard on his beer pong table in college to make it look appealing, and it was their dining room table for 2 years, but he knows what he should and should not do when away and living with families who are supporting him and be respectful of the coaches who sent him to have that opportunity.

To me, this is all just a reflection on the parents who raised them.

I agree with fanofgame, it's a long year, kids need a break, mine didn't go play until summer of his draft year.

I know my post had nothing to do with drinking in the summer,but I would say most of them do.Just remember when you were in college. And even if many want to go to the pros, will they? And then a couple beers and some beer pong once in a while is fine, but drinking every night is a lot.Drinking and driving is never acceptable and neither is supplying under age kids with alcohol

quote:

One thing that I have learned about being around college kids (both male & female) is that they don't go out until 10:00pm & they don't get back home until about 2:00am. This may not be what is best for the kids but the fact is this is how college kids operate

That is so true,I am ready for bed before my son is even ready to leave the house.LOL.he will go to a friends at 1030,it is the way they operate.They arent doing anything wrong necessarily, hangin out and video games etc,but they arent ready to be home and in bed at ten.

We hosted a college player a few years back. This was the summer after his freshman year. The first thing I did when he got there was ask him for his mother's cell phone number. Then I asked for his coaches' cell phone number. I wrote both down on my huge calendar right out front in my kitchen. Third, I showed him my refrigerator, which probably had 9 or 10 cold beers in it. I told him the beer was mine, and I didn't normally count it, but I would know if it was gone. I assumed neither his mother nor his coach would approve of him drinking during the season. So, if any of the beer was missing, the first person i would call would be his mom - the second his coach.

Never had a problem.

Now, he often would go to other player's houses after the game and spend the night.

He followed my rules in my home. If others' rules were different, I can't control that.

Kids will be kids. It's amazing what they can be, however, when those "kids" are given clear rules and expectations. Expect the best.

Thanks, I really appreciate everyone's responses.

I've been involved in the host family program for about 5 years -- recruiting, managing, etc., -- and this is the first time I've ever had this particular problem. Host family has a really nice house with a pool and a college-age daughter who has many friends. Host dad encourages players to come over after games. No one is saying no. He's surrounded by players and very happy, and I've got unhappy host families saying they never see their player and what's the point of being in the program. Plus I am worried some drunk 18-year-old is going to drown and we'll be liable.

Personally I think there's a difference between college kids being college kids and some 60-year-old wanting to be a college kid and turning his house into a frat, but maybe I just need to loosen up. Who knows.

LHPMom

I dont think the person your talking about should be supplying young people alcohol, nor should he be drinking with them.I dont encourage my nineteen year old son to drink,nor do I want his friends parents to buy him alcohol.
The hard thing is there are 21 year old boys on the team that can and do buy alcohol.Each of our own individual sons have to make the right choices as to what they want out of life and baseball etc.
Drinking is a very big part of college life for some more than others.
I just think parents cant be so naieve to think their sons will go to college and never drink.Again that does not mean that the adults involved need to be involved with that.

quote:

Originally posted by TPM:

Lots of young mothers love the young stud baseball players to hang around with them and the family while teh husband is in teh big city working hard. You have to be real careful of that situation.

There has been no response to this comment. It seems a little movie like, however, sadly is likely true.

Our son is living with a host family and playing baseball 6 nights a week. The drinking age is 19 and he is 19. Yes a few beers are consumed, and a lot of baseball is played. We talked to the host Mom, and she seems very nice, and experienced in taking care of 4 visiting players. The players go out after every home game if they are not too tired.

Now a house with a pool and plenty of college age girls would be VERY attractive if it existed where they were. But if you must worry, I'd worry more about too many baseball games than the fact that college students drink (including under age players). Unless your player lives at home during the regular college year, I hope it is not a news flash that college players of all ages drink.

I also have a daughter, and I would find it hard to believe that a father would allow copious amounts of alcohol with access to his house to a team of baseball players to make it party central. This guy must have a lot of insurance and not much common sense.

I respond to TPM's remark about young home moms and the players while Dad is at work and my post vaporizes while her statement remains-- what the hell is this all about--you claim this is a family site but she can post that innuendo and it is OK !!!!

Really now !!!!

quote:

quote:
Originally posted by TPM:

Lots of young mothers love the young stud baseball players to hang around with them and the family while teh husband is in teh big city working hard. You have to be real careful of that situation.



There has been no response to this comment. It seems a little movie like, however, sadly is likely true.

I'll comment. This has never happened in our program and I've never heard it happening in others. Our moms see these players are their sons, not their studs.

LHPMom

Thank you LHPMom

Sounds like someone has watched too many movies.

I see no reason to slam TPM for bringing this up. It's ugly but it happens, and not just in the movies. Being naive isn't going to help.

TRhit,

Since you asked publicly about the deletion of your post, I will reply publicly for those who might wonder.

Your post was deleted because it contained a personal attack on another member, which is in violation of our posted Board Manners. Below is the post I deleted. The last sentence is a personal attack and is not permitted.

Typically I would edit the post and then politely PM the member who made the post, to let them know the reason for the deletion. However, I have tried that approach with you repeatedly in the past, and you have responded by insulting me. I'm a slow learner, but eventually I stop banging my head against the wall.

I'm not going to get into a long debate about this as we have covered it many, many times before, but I know that sometimes other members think you are being persecuted for being "politically incorrect", which is not true. This is the sort of post that goes too far beyond "non-PC" and breaks the posted rules of our community.

Julie

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TRhit
HSBBWeb Old Timer

Posted June 29, 2009 07:30 PM Hide Post
Number One: it happens

TPM

To say there is no booze and then say there are a few cold ones in the fridge for them to take is a bit ludicrous don't you think

To make the statement about young host mothers and the players as something to watch out for is totally insane--WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT !!!
What you insinuate is typical of your thinking--- SICK !!!!

TRhit

= = = = = = = =

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
I respond to TPM's remark about young home moms and the players while Dad is at work and my post vaporizes while her statement remains-- what the hell is this all about--you claim this is a family site but she can post that innuendo and it is OK !!!!

Really now !!!!

I think you should teach us all a lesson and boycott the infidels at this site. A month probably isn't long enough...teach us a good lesson, boycott a year, even though we deserve more.

Just as there is a great deversity of posters on this site, so it is in real life.
There are all kinds of MOM's in this great big world of ours. Just because you haven't run into an unscrupulous host mom or dad or parents, does not mean they don't exist.

Two incidents happened last year to my son's roomates. One who played in the NECBL had a birthday while he was back there. The host mom thought he should watch p-rn all night to celebrate. Wasn't she sweet
The other one played in the CPL, his host mom approached him in his bed.
Both incidents were reported and those host families were banned from participating in the host family programs.
This did happen however, it is fact.

On the other hand, one of son's teamates went up to the Northwoods League and had the best host family ever, and went back to them this summer.

My son's own experience was different. He had no host family. He and three other players stayed together in a ****** old townhouse, in a ****** town with no internet, no car, no supervision, which presented it's own set of problems.
I am glad he had the experience, he had to learn to deal with what life throws at you.

None of these guys had a choice on where they went or who they stayed with. They were told to get to their destination just a few days after school let out and off they went.

quote:

Originally posted by LHPMom2012:
.... I'm amazed at the amount of alcohol these guys consume.
..All the guys on the team are DI and some have a real chance to play at the next level. So why do they go out every night, play beer pong, etc.?

I have turned into such an old fuddy-duddy....

LHPMom

Many readily say Cal-Ripken Sr League a not hot bed of pro prospects. It's probably not even luke warm.

It is illegal to drink if under 21, even for
college baseball players in summer baseball.

Sorry fuddy duddy

Just to be clear, I called the Mom situation "movie like" to try and make it light hearted.

Once again, we have plenty of "holier than thou" posters who feel discussing a situation like this is "ridiculous" or "sick".

What that is called is NAIVE. This kind of thing does happen.

fsm

Nobody said it doesn't happen but the manner in which it was posted was wrong in my mind

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
fsm

Nobody said it doesn't happen but the manner in which it was posted was wrong in my mind

Now, that there is funny. I know TR's posts have always been of a most courteous manner.

.

NOT!!!


.

...and I got the impression from TR's protest that he didn't think this sort of behavior went on.

Let me say this and HERE WE GO AGAIN

Some of moderators seem to think they are GOD---CPLZ has an attitude that changed since he was ENTROWNED in his position


I do not see my post as as an attack--simply a statement saying I thhought it was inappropriate --TPM as sent PM's detrimental to many posters characters---one of whom went in for a heart procedure and I was not allowed to wish him good luck and ask for prayers because she along with others had managed to get him erased from the site

Becoming a very interesting site---people with more experience get blasted because they speak the truth and don't use sugar when they do it

Some talk about their business sites and get blasted others do the same and nothing happens

I am well aware that there are posters who have a grave distaste for me because I speak as I do--TOO BAD--I am not running for office--- the people asking questions; Parents and players, need the truth not B S

If CPLZ wants to ban me because I speak the truth from my EXPERIENCE so be-- I will still sleep at night---the question is --can he?

quote:

one of whom went in for a heart procedure and I was not allowed to wish him good luck and ask for prayers because she along with others had managed to get him erased from the site

Just send that idiot a post card. You brought him up. Not me.

DAD04

Sorry you feel that way---

Who is the Idiot here?

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
DAD04

Sorry you feel that way---

Who is the Idiot here?

Not as sorry as I felt after wasting a season following my son on that moron's team.

Back to the topic...

People sign up to host players for all different reasons. Some good, some not so good, and some a mix of both, depending on your point of view. We've seen it all...the lonely host mom, family with 7 kids who needed help, female couple wanting a male role model around for their young son, guy on welfare who needed extra income, party guy, and the family who just wanted to help out young ball players. Leagues usually screen host families for questionable motives, but some things slip under the radar.

In most leagues, the player is simply assigned to a family when he arrives. That's why its so important to prepare your high schooler for the real world while they're still under your wing. They will face a wide vareity of situations when they leave. The more you do to prepare them for it, the more successful they will be in handling whatever comes their way.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:

Who is the Idiot here?

"Still looking to agitate, aren't you?"

Back to the topic again....

We also tried to encourage our sons to look beyond themselves in every situation ... to look for ways to make a positive difference. Young adults can be pretty egocentric, but reminding them of the needs of their host families and their purpose for being placed there helped them handle things better.

Our oldest's first host mom was a widow in her early 70s. I remember kissing him good bye in the driveway while he whispered in my ear, "Please don't leave me here." When we visited him a month later, he was all smiles. Turns out the lady loved baseball, cooking, and boys. She needed help around the house with yard work, but paid him back with loving attention and the best home cooking he's ever had. Every Sunday evening she had all his friends over for a feast. A big screen TV and tons of good food is definatley the way to a growing boy's heart. He absolutely LOVED his time in her home!

Liberty,

That is an excellent reminder:

"We also tried to encourage our sons to look beyond themselves in every situation ... to look for ways to make a positive difference."

Some of the time that I've seen my own young men doing exactly that, have been the times I've seen them grow the most.

"while he whispered in my ear, "Please don't leave me here." ... ... He absolutely LOVED his time in her home!"

What a great story!

Julie

"
Not as sorry as I felt after wasting a season following my son on that moron's team."

Sounds like another un happy Renegade story. Obvious to those of us in FL.

Liberty- great story! Now I know what I'll do when I'm 70!!

Son has a great host family. They have 2 college daughters that don't live @ home and a 16 yr old son. These people couldn't be nicer and even attend some games. I am so thankful for these families that agree to take in these players. It amazes me all the hard work the summer teams do to raise money, find sponsorships, and host families for players they don't even know. Our boys have it made and I hope they all appreciate it enough.

quote:

Originally posted by Liberty:
Back to the topic...

People sign up to host players for all different reasons. Some good, some not so good, and some a mix of both, depending on your point of view. We've seen it all...the lonely host mom, family with 7 kids who needed help, female couple wanting a male role model around for their young son, guy on welfare who needed extra income, party guy, and the family who just wanted to help out young ball players. Leagues usually screen host families for questionable motives, but some things slip under the radar.

In most summer leagues, the player is simply assigned to a family when he arrives. That's why its so important to prepare your high schooler for the real world while they're still under your wing. They will face a wide vareity of situations when they leave. The more you do to prepare them for it, the more successful they will be in handling whatever comes their way.

Great post Liberty, and what my intention for my comment was all about.
We as parents, try to check up on the coaches our kids play for, the school, etc., it's an important reminder to also check up on the league your son will go play for and you have a right to inquire about the host family he will live with. We tell our kids not to take drugs, no drinking and driving and also sometimes to stay away from certain friends they hang out with. Kind of like the same thing, yo have to prepare them for all situations.

If anyone was offended by what I said, my apologies. That was not the intention.

Interesting reading here, finding that some other websters have pointed out that these things happen.

My son played at the cape and had a wonderful family, and to this day they keep in touch, have gone to watch him play. They actually were not big baseball fans until they hosted their first players, but a group of friends insisted they look into becoming a host family. This was very important to us as a family, to make sure he was happy and confortable in that situation. It also helps tremendously in preparing them for pro ball, where host families are not as scrutinized.

It's just another step along the journey, being aware of your surroundings and your individual situation and what is right and what is wrong.

Most of our host families have been doing it for a while, but we do lose and gain a few every year. We place about 22 players. I have a family profile questionnaire for the new families where we try to diplomatically weed out families who wouldn't fit by asking questions like, "Do you make a strong effort not to use air conditioning in the summer?"

But I don't know a diplomatic way to ask, "Are you a lonely woman looking for a stud to service her?"


LHPMom

How about,

"In the movie "The Graduate", which character are you most like?"

good one doughnutman!

quote:

Originally posted by LHPMom2012:
"Do you make a strong effort not to use air conditioning in the summer?" LHPMom

Admittedly I sometimes need things to be explained to me & I don't get this screening question? I came up with the following top 10 ideas of how this applies, but still don't get it.

10. we are looking for "green" families
9. we want fit families, willing to sweat off those extra lbs
8. we are only looking for frugal people who would never think of spending extra money on beer (at least good beer)
7. if a player sleeps in a sauna, he will warm up easier the next game
6. we don't want to cool off those "hot bats", these kids are working towards their future
5. these games are always running late, dinner won't get cold this way
4. players are never late for games when they need to leave the house to breathe
3. sacrifice, these young athletes need to learn about sacrifice
2. the air conditioner never works on a minor league bus; this will prepare them for that experience

And the # 1 reason

This will keep the moms away from the young studs, it is too darn hot to cuddle!