A hand-shake and hug and "see you later" suffice? Hand him a note with fatherly advice? Note with cash? How have folks parted ways for college?
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Always a hug...he's much bigger than me so kind of awkward. Left him with a little cash too. I try to buy a roll of dollar coins ($25) and leave in his console of his truck every visit. I think he appreciates it (and has learned to look for it).
My wife also leaves with a hug but she always has tears in her eyes (for both our children)
Big Hug!
But first you have to help him move in. If you're lucky they let you park long enough give him some ideas on how to organize his stuff.
No reason to do cash with a college kid. Put money in his bank account. Even the vending machines take debit cards these days.
Dropped off daughter on Wednesday - 4th one. Tears on the drive there all 4 times (each took their own car so I was alone), tears on the way home. Always a hug. I help them set up room, go to local grocery store / Wal-Mart and get them whatever they forgot ( this time was a floor lamp and door mat - 2 years ago with son was laundry basket and power strips - no idea what was for first 2 kids- to long ago ), also stock them up with food for a week or so. If there is any financial stuff to do we go there. Take them to lunch. Fill their tank with gas. Basically put off leaving them as long as I can 
Same as Chef... wife likes to check out the place (apt. or dorms) and take them to the store to get them set up with basic needs - supplies, furnishings, groceries, etc. so they at least start out on a decent footing. We like that way better than just cash. Of course the kids don't quite share that thought. Then, they gotta figure it out on their own going forward.
Hug but no crying in the presence of roomies. Good luck with that first time around.
Dropping my son off at the Air Force Academy for Basic training this summer was very difficult for my wife and I. I did not expect it too be so emotional. Once you drop him off, it is weeks before you hear from him again since they take their phones away during basic training.
Daughter is a college senior.....she moved back today with the help of my son.....didn't need help from either mom or dad.....though she's in a house and really only had to take clothes as she had left a bed and other stuff for her room there when she left in June. She'll be home next Friday for something with her friends....and is only a couple hours away.
Son's heading back Sunday morning. Said he'll handle it. Again, home next Friday and likely every weekend until baseball kicks in (has buddies playing HS football and soccer).......and only 45 minutes away....so a little different then some of you.
Speaking of baseball....if my calculations are right, fall practice starts in exactly 30 days....will be nice to see some fall games. Much nicer than the 90 degree + summer league games
When each was a freshman mom flew in with my daughter. I flew in with my son. We spent a few days shopping getting everything they needed. They opened local checking accounts. We made the initial deposit.
The following years we put daughter's car on the car train and she flew (1000+ miles). She put a lot of stuff in the trunk of the car. My son drove the 600 miles.
Never gets easy. But we do have a lot of friends who help us a lot. This year my wife drove with him (Got a car. Didn't have one freshmen year) to Dallas and then she flew back. He drove to Lubbock by himself. She was pretty emotional.
JCG posted:Big Hug!
But first you have to help him move in. If you're lucky they let you park long enough give him some ideas on how to organize his stuff.
No reason to do cash with a college kid. Put money in his bank account. Even the vending machines take debit cards these days.
+1! The first time is the roughest.
Ours went to a JuCo for the first two years. No campus housing. Coach had paired him up with another player.
About a month before he had to report we moved most of the stuff he needed into the apt so when it came time to actually report it was just clothes and his gear. Then a trip to Walmart to get food and other necessities.
When he needed money we just put money in his checking account. On visits (he was a 5 hour drive away) we would take him out for dinner or cook dinner for him. Occasionally restock his food supply. It was amazing how fast he went through it.
When he transferred to a D2, he stayed in the dorm (Athletic suite) we didn't have to move quite as much (no furniture).
It took a while to get use to not having him around.
Don't expect a lot of phone calls and/or texts. They will be busy with classes, homework and practice.
StandballDad - Thank you to your son for electing to serve this great nation!
FoxDad posted:JCG posted:Big Hug!
But first you have to help him move in. If you're lucky they let you park long enough give him some ideas on how to organize his stuff.
No reason to do cash with a college kid. Put money in his bank account. Even the vending machines take debit cards these days.
+1! The first time is the roughest.
Ours went to a JuCo for the first two years. No campus housing. Coach had paired him up with another player.
About a month before he had to report we moved most of the stuff he needed into the apt so when it came time to actually report it was just clothes and his gear. Then a trip to Walmart to get food and other necessities.
When he needed money we just put money in his checking account. On visits (he was a 5 hour drive away) we would take him out for dinner or cook dinner for him. Occasionally restock his food supply. It was amazing how fast he went through it.
When he transferred to a D2, he stayed in the dorm (Athletic suite) we didn't have to move quite as much (no furniture).
It took a while to get use to not having him around.
Don't expect a lot of phone calls and/or texts. They will be busy with classes, homework and practice.
StandballDad - Thank you to your son for electing to serve this great nation!
Thank you Foxdad, even though he is attempting to walk on, baseball as great a game as it is, is not his priority there.
Left Chicago toward Auburn U. last Friday at 5:30 am with 2016 and wife. We arrived at Auburn 7:00 pm that night. We were scheduled for a 645 am move in, the following morning. We were at his dorm coffee'd and ready at 6:20 am. Wife advised there could be traffic; we were moved in by 645. Not a sole person in site. Took us 2 hours to thoroughly organize and move in 2016.
After a visit to Target and Bed,Bath, & Beyond me, all was good and done by 10:30 am.
New roommate showed up at 11:00 am with 1/10 of the size of my son's possessions. He and his tribe of a family were done moving him in within 30 minutes; we all went to lunch. Concluding lunch at 1:30, my son said he had to leave because he had a frat party to go to.... We hugged and within 5 minutes he was gone. The new chapter had begun.... Bittersweet, and my sunglasses were helpful.
Chris is in the white tshirt, just 75 yds away...not even looking back... I think we prepared him well.
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I look forward to these types of threads each year. Many of these posts like chefmike's and all others bring strong emotions just reading them.
I'll never forget dropping my son (or daughter) off for as long as I live. One of the most exciting and emotional weekends of our lives. We got there on Friday morning and helped my son register for his classes as well as attend orientation. We also helped him move in to a nice condo with three other kids from far reaches of the country. We met their parents and it was exciting. I'll never forget seeing some of the team welcome my son as we dropped him off at the pool where his condo was located just before we left for home. Saw how excited he was to be one of them. How excited he was will always be one of the greatest memories of my life. After we left him, we both had lumps in our throats so large we could not speak for hours and 750 miles later we were home. It takes about two weeks to get over the feelings of loss after you drop them off. I get emotional writing and recalling these things but it is all good... I wish all your kids and your families the very best!
FoxDad posted:JCG posted:Big Hug!
But first you have to help him move in. If you're lucky they let you park long enough give him some ideas on how to organize his stuff.
No reason to do cash with a college kid. Put money in his bank account. Even the vending machines take debit cards these days.
+1! The first time is the roughest.
Ours went to a JuCo for the first two years. No campus housing. Coach had paired him up with another player.
About a month before he had to report we moved most of the stuff he needed into the apt so when it came time to actually report it was just clothes and his gear. Then a trip to Walmart to get food and other necessities.
When he needed money we just put money in his checking account. On visits (he was a 5 hour drive away) we would take him out for dinner or cook dinner for him. Occasionally restock his food supply. It was amazing how fast he went through it.
When he transferred to a D2, he stayed in the dorm (Athletic suite) we didn't have to move quite as much (no furniture).
It took a while to get use to not having him around.
Don't expect a lot of phone calls and/or texts. They will be busy with classes, homework and practice.
StandballDad - Thank you to your son for electing to serve this great nation!
+1
When my daughter headed for college I turned to my son (high school freshman) and said, "Now I'll know who did it.
When my son headed for college I said to myself, "What do I do now?"
Today is the day for us. School is a solid 20 minutes from home but that doesn't seem to make it any easier. Neither does the fact that he spent 5 weeks on campus for summer school. The realization that he is now a young man instead of a growing boy is starting to set in. I guess it is now time to find me a new hobby to help fill the void that will be left. Good luck to everyone on the upcoming school year\season.
Gov posted:Left Chicago toward Auburn U. last Friday at 5:30 am with 2016 and wife. We arrived at Auburn 7:00 pm that night. We were scheduled for a 645 am move in, the following morning. We were at his dorm coffee'd and ready at 6:20 am. Wife advised there could be traffic; we were moved in by 645. Not a sole person in site. Took us 2 hours to thoroughly organize and move in 2016.
After a visit to Target and Bed,Bath, & Beyond me, all was good and done by 10:30 am.
New roommate showed up at 11:00 am with 1/10 of the size of my son's possessions. He and his tribe of a family were done moving him in within 30 minutes; we all went to lunch. Concluding lunch at 1:30, my son said he had to leave because he had a frat party to go to.... We hugged and within 5 minutes he was gone. The new chapter had begun.... Bittersweet, and my sunglasses were helpful.
Chris is in the white tshirt, just 75 yds away...not even looking back... I think we prepared him well.
War Eagle! Beautiful facilities.
standballdad posted:Dropping my son off at the Air Force Academy for Basic training this summer was very difficult for my wife and I. I did not expect it too be so emotional. Once you drop him off, it is weeks before you hear from him again since they take their phones away during basic training.
Congratulations to your family. I remember 30+ years back when my parents drove me to the airport to wait for the flight that would take me to Paris Island boot camp. God bless your son.
b i g m a c posted:A hand-shake and hug and "see you later" suffice? Hand him a note with fatherly advice? Note with cash? How have folks parted ways for college?
I'm not actually dropping mine off on Thursday, mom is going with him so she can also visit with family on the side, but my suggestion was a big "Whoooo!!! 1 down, 2 to go." as she drove off.
My son appreciated it (and would likely respond in kind if one of us actually did this, I can't imagine his mom can actually bring herself to though). We may have a "unique" relationship.
b i g m a c posted:A hand-shake and hug and "see you later" suffice? Hand him a note with fatherly advice? Note with cash? How have folks parted ways for college?
With more than a few tears...
Freshman year after flying, then driving 2 1/2 hrs we spent a couple of days setting up the freshman dorm. This soph year fly, drive set up dorm for a day and was asked too leave!
At least we know he likes school!
I am with CD love these threads. Big hugs, Cash, dinners out with the roomies are all high on the list of the kids. Give them space and let THEM set up their rooms... with some help from Mom allowed. (not too much) Great Dad gift is an "apartment tool kit". Trips home are always tough....the next two weeks at home are tougher... and then it slowly gets better.
Congrats to all of the Freshmen parents on sending their kids off on their first big step in their life. Job well done!
Wow, these all bring back memories from 13 years ago when we took our oldest son to college. We had no idea how big the emotional cord-cutting was until it was time to leave, after two days of orientation. I would like to have said something profound or witty, but with the basketball-sized lump in my throat, I squeezed out two words, "Be Good", and walked away without looking back. The first lady was crying and our son said, "Mom, I'm not dying, I'm just going to college." Just like Cleveland Dad, we drove hundreds of miles without speaking-every time we tried, tears flowed. Fast forward 13 years and all is well, we all work together with a collegiate summer league team, grandchildren are on the scene, and we tell our boys (and they will always be "boys" to us), "Just wait until you take them to college".
2 bits of advice: (1) Gift cards for restaurants are always good, not easily converted to beer, and (2) When it comes to academics, especially their freshman year, evasive answers are not good and getting them to sign a consent form so you can check grades is very good. Trust but verify.
Son graduated college in May...moved back into the house...I cried. 
Both of my sons are 2020s, one HS, one college. We joked about the possibility that one would be moving in as the other moved out.
Pretty sure it won't seem that funny 4 years from now if it happens...
My oldest son is 25. Taking him to college for the 1st time was tough, but I also recognized how good it was for him. He needed the challenge and he needed to get out on his own and be fully responsible for his own success & failure. Those first few years we'd see him once every month or two, visiting, as he was only 90 minutes a way and I cherished every moment. Now he's much further away and I only get to see him a few times a year.
Here's a shock I had when the oldest was a freshman. My daughter was awarded additional scholarship money in September. It meant I had overpaid. I contacted the finance department to inform them where to send the check. My daughter had used her mother's address in the application process.
I was informed since my daughter was eighteen (at the time) she's an adult. The check would be made out to her. I had no control over a sizable amout of money I had paid that was being refunded.
i told my daughter the day that check comes to your dorm you head for a bank and turn it into a money order made out to me and FedEx it to me. The reality is nothing legal forced her to do so. But she did want me to pay for ongoing semesters.
My son was close mouthed about his first semester freshman grades. I called the college. They refused to tell me his grades without his consent. My attitude was, "Dammit, I'm paying the bills." I told my son to produce or he will be at the local JuCo the next semester.
He didn't want me to know he got a 2.7 in the fall. A 50% scholarship was dependent on a 3.0 for the year. He figured he would make it up in the spring and I would never know. He got a 3.5 the second semester. I told him that's the expectation going forward. He had too much fun the first semester of college.
My 2017 has a year to go but has loads of friends who just left for college. I went to Virginia Tech and was in the Corps of Cadets. My Dad was a Naval Academy grad and passed away suddenly last December (far too young). He told me all the polite upperclassmen would be in my face yelling at me in an hour or two (he was right of course). He also told me after we shook hands not to look back. I did not with a huge lump in my throat. A few years ago I was telling this story at a family dinner and when I said I did not look back he said, for the first time ever, "I know you didn't, I watched you the whole way."
I'll give my son and daughter (2018) the same advice. My wife will be an emotional wreck!
Move stuff you brought in. Make a shopping list. Head to nearest Wal-Mart or Target for everything else. Make sure you/they get everything out of the car, because getting a phone call an hour after you leave campus because he/she left his/her laptop under the seat is a real buzz kill.
How much unpacking and set-up you do should depend on the kid. If he or she is an organizationally challenged freshman, no harm getting them off on the right foot the first time around. Easier to show them how to do it than tell them, and hopefully next time they'll be prepared to do it themselves.
Fill their gas tank. Meet their roommates. Take them out to a nice dinner. Back to the room. Make sure you're not forgetting anything (because the second worst thing you can do is have to come back to get something). Do not cry, because that is the worst thing. Big hug. Kiss on the cheek or top of the head (location depends on gender and height). Love you. Proud of you. You're going to do great. Call your mother every now and then. Bye. Get in the car. Drive. Stop at Rest Area and get your cry out. Head home.
We survived the weekend. Wife helped set up his room. Made a run to Target for some items/snacks. Made sure he had a few dollars in his pocket. And, then a quick (rip off the band-aid type) good-bye with a couple of tears. He sure seemed relaxed and ready to move forward. House seems weird without him.
We survived sending #1 off last fall. Sending #2 off next fall and becoming empty nesters is going to be a lot rougher.
But we're planning ahead. We figure that spending 2-3 weeks in Spain right after he goes will help fill the void.
Time to brush up on the Espanol and start pinching pennies!
I recently attended the retirement ceremony of a chief petty officer who relayed a touching story from when he left the familial nest, "I'll never forget my father's words when he dropped me off at the recruiting office the day I left for boot camp. He pulled up to the curb, looked me in the eye, and said, 'GET OUT!'"
Took my incoming freshman son to the airport last Wednsday. His mother went with him and got him situated in his dorm. Clearly, I'm experiencing some sort of separation anxiety. I've been 'off' all week.
Seems strange. Baseball, college, college recruiting these things sort of were the driving force here. Then....poof. It's over. I've been doing a lot of " Now what the hell am I gonna do" thinking.
But I consider myself lucky. I watched a lot of kids play their last game in HS and 'hang 'em up' . Some, not so willingly.
Mine gets to play 4 more years. And I'll get to see some of that.
He's playing at a well respected D1 academic school in the south. So, ultimately I'm very excited and happy for him and his future. I'm just gonna have to figure out how to live my life without having him around here as much.
Dropped off son #1 down in FL (we are from New England) to go to a 4 year school and play baseball. We did pretty much the same things you all did on move in but were fortunate enough to spend 9 days with just the 4 of us (Mom, Dad and son #1 plus son #2) down in FL across various areas. Lots of solid family time enough to make it less of a band-aid getting ripped off feeling for us. Mom shed a few tears that day and more the next after reading his first poem written the evening after we dropped him off (he's a creative writing major and has a great way with words on paper yet not so much face to face). I've coached him since forever and it has been hard for me to adjust to not doing that but I'm keeping busy with getting back in the gym and spending more time with my wife of 23 years, My younger son got his license 3 days after we got home so he is off and running and the nest feels empty. Texts and a 1/week facetime session have helped. The fact that he is texting me and not just returning texts is heart warming.
New chapters.....thanks to everyone for sharing their stories. More than a few had me choked up.