Emotionally invested

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He's obviously a capable player going through a rough time. The confidence that slowly poured out will slowly pour back in. You'll see.

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Something I have learned over the years is that even though he may not admit it, our attitudes have a great effect on our kids. The hardest thing for you is going to be to act like his struggles are no big deal, everyone goes through it, he'll get it back, etc. Talk up the good things that happened, like "hey, that was a really good at bat in the 3rd inning. That pitcher had a great (curve, fastball, etc)." Don't lie - he'll recognize that in a second, but play up the positive. If your son thinks you are still confident in him, his confidence will return. My personal favorite - keep working hard, the coaches see what you are doing.

My son went through a slump last year. He asked me to video a couple of at bats. He got out the tee and worked in our garage, then decided he had fixed the problem. I don't know if what he thought was the problem was actually the problem, but the important thing is that HE thought he fixed it. Slump over, but at the end of the season. He hit fine in the summer and fall seasons. Looks to be on track now, although the season is just getting underway here.

Last year was his freshman year, so he was playing in front of coaches who had never seen him play. I wanted to tell them "hey, my son is a great hitter, really", but of course I couldn't.

Sometimes as parents we have to force ourselves to put it all in perspective.

By the way, is this your son's first year on varsity? It can be expected that the pitching improves as the season progresses, which could cause someone new to varsity level pitching to need to adjust.

Thanks everyone, twotex he was moved up to V last year half way through the season. He didn't see a lot of playing time, but did pretty well with the at bats he had. This year he's a starter.

Stay positive, stay confident yourself. Use your experence and emotional maturity to show your son how to handle this rough patch. Expectations affect outcomes, choose your expectations and help your son choose his. This situation is like an important negotiation, you have to care; but not too much.

This can be one of those teachable moments, when things get tough you connect to why your doing what you're doing, continue to believe in your abilities and go back to work.

good luck dad, try and enjoy your sons' baseball experience.

Thanks 3rdG, but I have to admit I'm a mom
Enjoy is what I want to do, because that's the way I was expecting it to be. Guess I'm coming back down to earth a little bit? I never looked at it that way before really, but it's like everything feels different. I'm suddendly in unfamiliar territory. Of course he's struggled before and came through, but not during his HS V season.

I always found that baseballson seemed to go through periods of 'plateauing'. There were times when he, even though he was continuing to work hard, he wasn't improving. Lots of hard work but nothing tangible to show for it.

Then, 'all of a sudden' he would improve in seemingly leaps and bounds. So, sometimes the improvements are taking place they just aren't evident. Those improvements were many times in his emotions and attitudes...and learning how to deal with frustration and sometimes lack of success.

There are so many pieces to the puzzle. The mental piece is what makes baseball the most difficult sport to achieve success at a high level in my opinion.

Once that we accept the fact that life is hard, we begin to grow. We begin to understand that every problem is an opportunity. It is then that we dig down and discover what we are made of. We begin to accept challenges in life.

Someone gave that advice to me to pass on, it's not specifically about baseball but about life.

Baseball is a game of ups and downs, so as is in life, once we learn to embrace the challenges we can move forward, the younger we learn this, I think the more successful one will be, in whatever we do.

I remember my son's college pitching coach telling me (and I beleive this to be true as seen over teh past few years with not just my own) that he always worried about the ones that never struggled, but seemed to him the ones who went through the peaks and valleys in their game, found a way to deal with those times and bounced back.

Baseball is a marathon, the longer your son continues to play, the harder it may be sometimes to watch, I strongly suggest that you get used to it.

I am not understanding why all of us are assumed to be dads, it's just as hard for a mom to watch her son struggle (maybe harder) than dads.

quote:

Baseball is a marathon, the longer your son continues to play, the harder it may be sometimes to watch, I strongly suggest that you get used to it.

I am not understanding why all of us are assumed to be dads, it's just as hard for a mom to watch her son struggle (maybe harder) than dads.

Two truer statements on this subject may never be spoken!

The peaks and valleys just keep on coming the longer they play and we, as their biggest fan support system, have to learn to handle the bumps in the road; as they most certainly must learn to do!

Once you kinda of learn to let go of the feelings that relate to their performance, you will be more at peace. We still love them no matter ... right?

lol

This brings to mind two statements I have always told my son to remember:

1) Baseball is a game of adjustments.
2) When the game is telling you something, listen.

When you go into a slump, or face another one of baseball's many vicissitudes, the game is telling you that an adjustment of some sort is necessary. Listen to it.

Positive attitudes and confidence are definitely a plus, but I think it is a mistake to assume that it will "just come back" without some adjustment by the player.

That adjustment could be almost anything - and it is not necessarily mechanical. It could be diet or conditioning. Or fatigue - many slumps are cause by fatigue induced mechanical flaws. The usual prescription of taking more cuts actually exacerbates the problem!

I think the key is to think hard about what adjustment the game is telling your son he needs to make, and then taking some concrete steps to make that adjustment.

Sometimes just the process of making an adjustment (even if it in reality has nothing to do with the problem) is enough to bring some positive results, and get back on track.

Nothing like those character building times.

It's in those struggling times a player needs sources of encouragement, advice and support other than Dad, Mom or family.

How a player reacts/responds in a slump weighs heavily on the actions and words of his coach. Seen it both ways...an approach that translates in one of confidence in the player or one that does not. Sadly more of the latter than the former.

Agree with gw4, it will come back to those willing to battle through it.

Rob is right, sometimes what is happening speaks volumnes.
Much of the time it's learning how to relax, take control, and things happen, sometimes adjustments have to be made.
Big mistake happens when the parent (usually dad) steps in to tell the player what they are doing wrong. I was reading an interview with Tony Rasmus and how he stopped giving son (Colby) advice when struggling and I am to assume this guy knows his stuff more than most. Be there for your player, listen when he wants you to and don't butt in when he doesn't need to hear it.

The most remarkable thing is that most manage to get through it.

FWIW, when a player loses confidence in himself, many coaches will as well, teach your player to remain positive through the ups and downs and people will support him, no one wants to help anyone who feels sorry for themselves. Never.

Thank you again! I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read this thread and respond to me. I will try to get used to it TPM. It is a different ballgame now.
Rob, I do think he needs to make an adjustment somewhere, both physically and mentally. Its like when I've seen him come to the plate the last couple of games he was a different kid up there. Maybe that's just me, I'm not sure? I know he can get through this, but it's tough when you dig yourself in a little (or big) hole. You have figure a way out of it! Me personally am taken aback at how emotional I felt about all this. I just didn't realize how much I let it get to me. I've got to stop doing that.
Thanks so much everyone <3

Body language can mean a lot between success and failure. You probably do see a difference, he can't, perhaps that could be in the discussion if you are to have one.

BaseballGr8,
When my son was a Fr, he played varsity. Summer after freshman played summer ball where he hit really, really well. Sophomore year started off slow. When his dad and I were talking about it to a really respected former coach of son, he said "don't worry, your son has hit before and he will hit again" Truer words were never spoken, as son went on to finish the season as MV defensive player and was selected as team MVP his junior year by all the coaches. The point is not to brag on my son, but to tell you this. If you don't like the way it's going right now just wait around a while. It's a game and it can and probably will change! Have a great day and enjoy every second of watching your son play ball.

OOPS! I should have read my post before I clicked "Post Now" It should have read MV Offensive Player. Sorry about that.

Everytime my guys move up a level, he struggled to begin with, and I mean everytime: from coach pitch to minors, from minors to majors, from Majors to JV and now from JV to Varsity. It is difficult to wathc even though I KNOW he will excel after he has gotten his feet wet. Continue encouraging your boy and support him. As long as he maintains confidence in his ability and continues to work, he will be fine.

When my son started his soph season 1-9 was the first time I found myself hoping he would get a hit. His swing was fine. All I did was tell him if he's stays confident hits will happen. They did. The next year he went to the plate like he owned it as his office. The key is staying confident. It's hard to focus through a self pity party.

I never met a player who never had a slump. The ones who never hit a slump never played or never played long enough to go in a slump.

I remember my son's senior year, he was in the top ten in BA in the conference. then he went in an 0-12 5-game hitless streak mid-season right before the conference tournament.

Now in the big scheme of things. 0-12 over 5 games not much of a major slump but in a 20 game HS season, it's a slump.

All along, my son said he was swinging the bat well and hitting the ball well, but the hits weren't falling. I could tell he was frustrated but he felt he was hitting the ball well during that stretch but the ball was finding a glove. He didn't try and do things he normally don't or can't do. He wasn't moved out of the 3-hole during this time so one would think his HC figured he'd break out and he did at a good time. That had to help his confidence a bit. He's been in other slumps in in the past and he just played thru it. That's all you can do.

Then comes game 1 of the conference tournament..He hits a dribbler back to the pitcher, hustles down the line and beat the throw for a 45 ft single. He went on and got four hits that game including a 3-run triple that was the difference in winning the opening round of the conference tournament. He also stole 3 bases and scored 4 runs in that game He ended up hitting .500 for the tournament.

Confidence and the maturity to deal with the times when the hits aren't falling is the key.

You gotta hang in there and sooner or later, the hits will come. To think otherwise would complicate things and then you start thinking too much and then you're in trouble.

As a coach, I've learned what of the hardest things to do is to keep encouraging a player who is swinging the bat well, but not getting hits. This plays into the "Worry only about what you can control."

A hitter can't control hard hit balls being fielded.

It's natural for a competitive player's instinct to move him to change something when hits aren't dropping. This usually doesn't help. And then more hitless at bats, more confidence leaking out, and the cycle feeds itself.

I've also witnessed coaches try to change something in hitters when this happens. That doesn't help the situation.

Sometimes it can be the simple things that help. I've taken a bat out of a kid's hand and given him another bat. If that kid then got a hit with the "new" bat, then everything was blamed on the old bat, and that "Fixed" it. When in reality it just gave the player something to focus on that wouldn't have him doubting himself.

On the other hand, every player is going to have bad days, bad weeks etc and go through slumps. I keep going back to having a conversation with my son...he was very young. I summed it up by saying "Sometimes you are going to play hard, and try to do everything right...and it's not going to happen. Sometimes you are just going to suck. Get up and do it again, it can only get better."

My older guys I coach now seem placated when I point out Major League Players go through slumps all the time. It's part of the game, at ALL levels.