Funny descriptive phrases

My all time favorite was directed at 5'3" Chris Cates, former shortstop with Louisville ....

Mow the grass so the shortstop can see.

the short stop

"I have seen better swings on a porch!"

Heard that one last week.

Coach to player after calling a time out. "you know that you're supose to hit that little white thing that keeps going by you, right?"

"That's like waking up Christmas morning and opening your stocking" directed to a player who made an eyes closed play and looked surprised he even had the ball

"I don't even know why you bothered to bring a bat up here if you aren't oing to use it"

You know something , Ump?

You're missing a good game.

Overheard at a HS baseball game....

"He would have caught the ball if it hadn't hit his glove!"

From one of the opposing team bleacher bums to our pitcher who has just given up eight consecutive hits,

"That's pretty brave of you to throw batting practice without an L-Screen"!

Coach walked out to mound to settle down pitcher after infield made numerous errors.

As the infielders approached the mound for the conference, the coach said to them...

"Go back to your positions. You haven't helped him yet, why would you start now."

quote:

Originally posted by Quincy:
You know something , Ump?

You're missing a good game.

"Yeah, I know. But I got assigned to this one instead."

Here's a good site http://www.heckledepot.com/index.shtml

I had a teammate that loved this one:

(Pitcher makes a bad PO attempt) "I've seen better moves in my back seat!"

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Persoal favorite

Batter takes an especially bad swing

"Better get a band-aid for that cut"

" are you at the game, or in the game?"

http://www.brainyquote.com/quo...s/l/lefty_gomez.html

Recently open the web site for quotes by Lefty Gomez.
Many years ago, I had the opportunity to ride in his car from the SFO airport to his home in Novato.

Lefty was the Wilson Sporting Goods Public Relations and attended all the College Coaches Conventions.

We sat at the same dinner table and his stories were
the "greatest". Then when we arrived in SF, Lefty offered me the ride north.

He told me stories about Ruth and the Yankees and Ted Williams. The Ted Williams story is a classic.
In 1983 in our 1st Goodwill Series with Japan.

Lefty threw out the 1st ball with the President of Japan HS Baseball.

Little did I know they played against each in 1934 when the NY Yankees traveled to Japan.

Our 1st Goodwill Series event in 1983 was filmed
to 40 million people in Japan. Lefty provided a very enjoyable memory.


Bob Williams

"I've seen better calls in a phone booth, Blue!"

After a third baseman exhibited no foot work in mishandling a grounder during infield practice, I heard the coach tell him, "I love your originality in ignoring 140 years of baseball tradition."

I don't remember any of the names of the players actually involved in the story or really where I heard it, but it’s a pretty funny story and has a great line at the end.

A team was playing at a stadium that fired a large cannon out beyond the CF wall everytime a home team HR was hit. The pitcher for the visiting team was getting shelled and had already given up a couple dingers earlier in the game. He gave up his 3rd of the game when the Mgr called time and walked to the mound presumably to take him out of the game. The pitcher took great offense to this and started spouting off to the skipper as he crossed the foul line about how he better not be coming out there to take him out of the game. The guy calmly continued to walk toward the pitcher and once he got there he told the pitcher to "calm down", "I'm not out here to take you out, I'm just giving them time to reload the cannon"

He apparently said it loud enough that both dugouts could hear and players from both benches were falling on the ground laughing.

biggerpapi ...

quote:

Coach walked out to mound to settle down pitcher after infield made numerous errors.

As the infielders approached the mound for the conference, the coach said to them...

"Go back to your positions. You haven't helped him yet, why would you start now."

I love this one!

I heard a highly ranked travel team coach yell this to his 3B after he didn't get to a couple balls:

"You've got fall-down range!"

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A fan to a pitcher that had been giving up a bunch of bombs "Pitch just turn and throw the ball to the out field you will keep you pitch count down that way" college game.

Pitcher just strikes out another batter.
Player on the bench to another player on the bench,
"What kind of pitch was that?"

"It was a SYAD pitch"

"whats that"

"Sit Your A@# Down pitch"

I always liked Casey Stengel's remarks to a Reporters question after another embarrasing loss by his MET Team.

The Reporter asked; "Casey, what did you think about your teams "execution" ............during today's game?"

To which Casey replied, without hesitation, "I'm definitely in favor of it!"

Casey was something else!!

Still one of my favorites from a good friend who coached my son (not the one in the story...)

In Little League...An 11 year old player has just arrived standing up on a steal of 2nd despite the coach and others shouting "Slide!" and "Down!"

Coach says:

"Next time, slide, get dirty...Its not like you do the laundry!

LAST time I heard it...Mom in stands:

"Uh, yes, he DOES do the laundry!"

Coach got quiet...

I've never had the guts to say this, but we have a lot of umps in the league who are really stingy with the strike zone, and I've always wanted to yell that their strike zones should be bigger than their... man parts.

A player got hurt on my brother's Dixie Youth team and a parent from another team is asking about how it will affect the team's play.

Other team's parent: "Well, was he an asset to the team?"

Brother's team parent: "Yeah, his a$$ set on the bench!"