Funny Things Overheard At The Ballpark

My wife has been with me for over 25 yrs., during which time I have always been involved in playing or coaching baseball. All three kids have played, the youngest is a senior and has played quite a bit of travel and scout ball in addition to HS ball. My wife even played a bit of fastpitch herself. Yet, after thousands of corrections over the years from myself and all the kids, it still comes out every time...
"How many points did you guys score?"

Youngest was also on the hockey travel circuit for a while...
"How many points did you score?"

At least with basketball, she wins by default.

Girlfriend: "So they call it a fastball because it's the fastest pitch right?"

Me: "Um, yeah."

Girlfriend: "And they call it a curveball because it curves and a slider because it slides?"

Me: "You got it."

Girlfriend: "Well what does a changeup do?"

Me: "It goes slower than a fastball."

Girlfriend: "Then why don't they call it a slowerball?"

...she's got a point

1. I hit a grand slam in little league and my mom asked "how many men were on base?" And her Dad was a big leaguer.
2. My wife says she rather see both teams wear the white "outfits." "They look nicer."

BaseballByTheYard

True story:

An absolute baseball novice, mid-40's, goes to see the Orioles play at Camden Yards. After the National Anthem, the Orioles take the field.

Her comment:" Oh, I guess they lost the coin toss."

That would be grounds for divorce at our house.

In 8th grade I told my family at the dinner table I hit a grand slam that day. My mother asked if anyone was on base. By high school she was asking if it would be easier to pick the ball up off the ground rather than crashing into fences to catch it.

When my son was a freshmen, he started dating this girl. He took the field and was the pitcher. She looked at my wife and asked why he was standing on a hill.

Not really a funny line heard at a ball park, but with the mentions of Grand Slames I will bring this up. Old Sportsmens Park in St Louis was on Grand and Dodier Avenues. when I first started paying attention to baseball I heard the phrase "Grand Slam" and asked my dad what it meant. He told me that back in the day, they used to hit home runs that landed on Grand Avenue at Sportsmens Park so they called them Grand Slams, so it stuck. I believed him for a while.

My RHP son went to a showcase last summer. I wasn’t able to attend. I was standing by his aunt when I asked him how he did. His reply was I hit 87, his aunt asked him "out of how many!"

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And his buddy, after analyzing the 7-3 score..."if they get four runs, we'll have to go to overtime."

Hey, hey, hey...ease up on me a bit papi! You know darn well I had already downed five Diet Cokes®!



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30% of all fans in any stadium yelling "BALK!!!" when the opposing pitcher does an inside move to 2B and dosen't throw.

Five year old son at a football game before the kick off. As the National Anthem is played he asked "Isn't that the baseball song?"

"Yes son, it is."

quote:

Originally posted by mmm1531:
My RHP son went to a showcase last summer. I wasn’t able to attend. I was standing by his aunt when I asked him how he did. His reply was I hit 87, his aunt asked him "out of how many!"

I laughed out loud at Panera over this one . People are looking at me. Did the aunt think he was talking about BP or Wack A Mole?

A couple of years back, I took my wife and some friends to an Atlanta Braves game.

Somewhere around the 7th inning, my wife took a break from talking to her fiend sitting next to her to ask me: "Honey, who is playing again?"

My reply was "the Cincinnati Reds"

Which lead to her follow up question: "and who is the other team?"........

Going and watching a minor league game and overhearing a bunch of college age kids all in baseball clothing and baseball caps and the one asks the other if this is like club ball and the other stating "no, this is semipro ball" and another chimes in- "yeah, they have day jobs".

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"...talking to her fiend sitting next to her..."

See? That's the great thing about baseball...the game brings all types of people together!




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Around 1980 at Shea Stadium....son Lee Mazzilli is going to be one of the the best CF to ever play.

I'm having a blast teaching my grandsons about baseball. For those of us who have lived it for so many years we forget that we weren't born knowing it.

My son (his uncle) is a catcher. So at 2 1/2 my grandson knows the guy behind the plate in the uniform with the mitt is the catcher. I asked him what you call the guy on the hill with the ball. His answer: the "thrower".

Very logical...can't wait to continue Baseball 101 this year!

Sparky Anderson: Torey Lovullo will be a Hall of Famer.

I heard Bill Lee talk after the 1975 World Series. Somebody asked him just how good is Joe Morgan. Lee twitched, frowned, looked dumbfounded, then replied, "I don't know. Let's go ask his wife."

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Funniest? Overheard at Wrigley: "I think maybe we have a chance this year."



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Some mom at my son's rec game when he was in grade school many moons ago: "How was that a strike? He didn't even swing!"

So last night I walked up to baseball practice at the school. As I'm walking up, a kid gets hit in the shoulder and his helmet gets knocked off. I check to make sure he's alright and he was fine..

So I walk out to the outfield where the coach is observing practice. He informs me, "we were just fine til you showed up. You show up and somebody gets hurt"

Got done at baseball and walked over to the softball field. I'm standing by the dugout talking to a few of the girls when the coach calls me over. She asked if I had any baseball experience... and if I'd hit some ground balls...

Said this to my son at todays game. Got both benches laughing as well as half the parents.

Our ballfield is adjacent to the s****r field where the girls were playing a game. It is behind the visiting team's dugout on the right field line.

My boy's timing was a little off and he fouled off three straight into the field where the girls were playing. It is the rule that the kids in the dugout are responsible for running out and getting the foul balls.

After the third jack into the middle of the girl's s****r match I yelled out at my son;

'Hey, quit introducing the other team's players to our girls!'

Got a laugh out of everyone, even my son. The next hit was up the middle.

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Those foul balls had eyes!



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"On my youngest sons high school team there was a mom (God bless her) who would occasionally yell "Come on boys! Let's turn two!" with nobody on base."

You really are that innocent aren't you Bystander? You've never heard of an imaginary runner? That mom wasn't off her rocker...she was just looking for the team to make an imaginary out!

"Turn two boys!" "I'm pretty sure there's a runner on...right gotwood?" "Yeah I think so mom...in fact I imagine there's two!"

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One of my son's teammates hit a home run last week. His mom got on the phone and, presumably, called the dad.

"Bobby just hit a home run! I think it went over the fence too!"

She looks at her neighbor who nodded in agreement.

"Yes, it DID go over the fence!!!!"

"Why is my son not playing!?"

quote:

Originally posted by biggerpapi:
One of my son's teammates hit a home run last week. His mom got on the phone and, presumably, called the dad.

"Bobby just hit a home run! I think it went over the fence too!"

She looks at her neighbor who nodded in agreement.

"Yes, it DID go over the fence!!!!"

That's not too bad if it was little league. Inside the park HR's happen with more frequency...

At a state-level tournament that was a big deal for the boys playing but not apparently to the organization and the local dump it was played in...

Opening game, as they get ready to chalk the lines, oops, we have no chalk.

Their solution? Run down to the local grocery and buy all the bags of flour they have in the store.

Luckily, they didn't buy whole wheat flour or the lines would have been invisible.

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Now that there is a quick thinking grounds crew. They deserve a...



And these...





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quote:

Originally posted by biggerpapi:
At a state-level tournament that was a big deal for the boys playing but not apparently to the organization and the local dump it was played in...

Opening game, as they get ready to chalk the lines, oops, we have no chalk.

Their solution? Run down to the local grocery and buy all the bags of flour they have in the store.

Luckily, they didn't buy whole wheat flour or the lines would have been invisible.

That's hilarious! How did it work? I think it would be fine as long as it didn't have yeast in it.

That's too funny.

Reminds me when I played my last summer before heading into College, the home team had to chalk the lines, no string though so the HC thought he could walk a "fairly straight" line after he was done it looked as though he had one too many wobbly pops before the game. If I can find the picture I'll post it.

Played host to a local tournament - heard this from a mom while collecting gate fees on day four.

"You mean I have to pay six bucks to watch my son sit on the bench? " She was mad, and she was serious.

Many responses went through my mind - but the adult in me came out and said it was best if her son discussed it with his coach, six bucks please .

Not at the ballpark specifically . . .

Varsity team had games scheduled M,W,TH,F - DH on Sat - then again the following M,W,F because of some make-ups.

Varsity coach calls the parents of a couple JV players to offer them the opportunity to pitch/play up in the non-conference Saturday double-header and travel with the team out of town.

Mother replied, "Oh sure, so you can save your big boys' arms for the conference games?!"

Coach replied, "Uh . . . yes?!"

Mother declined to allow her son the opportunity. Needless to say, the offer wasn't made again.

quote:

Mother declined to allow her son the opportunity. Needless to say, the offer wasn't made again.

Just like Poker and Thanksgiving, you're only asked once to sit at the big table.

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Anyone up for a game of Crazy Eights?



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I got a kick out of this one at a high school varsity game:

Friend's son is at the plate, runner on 3rd. Pitcher throws a wild pitch, ball goes to backstop, runner scores from third. Friend asks, "So does my son get an RBI for that?"

This happened about 12 years ago. I took my son to a college baseball game, as I had done many times. My daughter, who was 3 at the time decided she needed to go as well. If her brother could go, so could she.

The home team had a long top of the first where they gave up a few runs, walked the ballpark, etc. In the bottom of the first, they answered with at least 5 or 6 in an equally long half inning.

When the third out was made, she gathered up her coloring books and other bellongings and basically prepared to leave. I explained to her that this was the completion of just the first inning and the game lasted a total of 9 innings.

The look she gave me proved she was my loving wife's daughter... We left around the 5th inning and she never asked to go with us again.

I'm literally "LOL" at a bunch of these!


Julie

Last week my son was playing in a summer league game that I missed due to work but my wife went. About an hour after the game started she called and said my son had just homered (he is primarily a pitcher but played a position that day). I asked her where it went, the response was "over the fence." I said I realized that, but which fence? To that she replied, "the outfield fence." I guess she didn't realize I was asking left center, right center, etc. I still laugh every time I think about it.

After winning last night's tournament elimination game, one player looks at a buddy up in the stands and says:

"You know what this mean? We're going to Meijer, we're buying a tent and we're sleeping outside tonight!"

Not sure what that means but he was pretty excited about it.