Funny Things You've Seen at the Park

Mid 80's Shea Stadium in August 1st of a Twi-nighter.  Joel Youngblood making a somewhat rare appearance playing 3rd for SF Giants - Gary Carter hits a in between hop screamer a foot to his left that he never moved on.  Stuck out glove hand and gave it a classic ole. 

 

As the left fielder picked up to chuck it back in, one of the paying customers behind 3rd screams - Hey - Joel this ain't no bullfight....mooooooooovvvvvvve willllll yaaaaaaa!

 

Entire infield, coaches and umpires start cracking up and Youngblood covered his face with his glove.

It probably wasn't funny to be the guy on the receiving end of the following.

 

A friend's son was in high school playing against Josh Beckett's team. They were major rivals. A dad from my friend's team had his face up against the backstop razzing Beckett. Beckett let a fastball slip. He missed the catcher by about twenty feet. He drilled the guy in the face. My friend said it cured a bad case of "smart arse."

Playing a double header and were in the 1st inning of the second game.  Our coach routinely ate a sandwich between games.  In the top of the first in the second game, there is a play at the plate and he comes to save me from getting tossed (catcher).  He got to home plate and choked on the sandwich he was eating and had to back off, catch his breath, then continue the butt-chewing.  After the inning he asked if I knew how to do the Heimlich and no more umpire confrontations until he sandwich was gone.

Not as dramatic. In the park homerun when weak fly to LF along the line got LOST in 6" grass. One of the slowest players on the team was halfway home when the desperate defenders found the ball.

 

This happened twice and on different team (our team both times): Come-backer at pitcher gets bobbled by pitcher and ends up inside his jersey. I think runner was called safe both times.

A couple years ago....14U game in the early spring.  Last inning...one of our players fouls a ball straight back, over a backstop....thru some trees and across a road in the park......and breaks the back window of a car. 

 

Game ends....we walk out.  It's the umpire's car.  We thought it was strange that an umpire would park so close to the field.....then he says "I had backed in at first, but I thought if I got hit, I didn't want to break my windshield so I turned around".  

When I was playing underclass baseball, we had one game that started to run a little bit long. I was catching and the umpire was very familiar for us. He suggested that I tell our coach to turn the lights on. The batter looked up, looked around, looked back at us, and looked around again. The umpire and I just laughed..

 

Summer baseball I was playing first base one night. There was a group of high school kids or maybe college-aged kids sitting on top of the concession stand just beyond first base. They decided that I was the guy to get picked on the for the night.. 

 

When I was about 10 years old, we went to Yankee Stadium. They were playing to Orioles that night. Tino Martinez was still with the Yankees then (shortly before he was traded to St. Louis). He hit a ground ball that barely made it to the 1st base coach and the guy behind us stood up and yelled real loud "Nice F**** hit Tino!" My dad said that my eyes lit up.. LOL

 

 

Many, many years ago, I was playing in the Canadian "Outlaw" League.

The game in Moose Jaw. We had a LF - Roberto from Cuba. There was a stockyards past the LF line. Roberto chases a foul ball into the stockyards and the next moment a bull is chasing Roberto onto the field.

Tom Haller, future SF Giants catcher and GM and Pat Gillick, GM played in this game.

 

"True Story"

 

Bob

One of my favorite memories was a T-baller I was coaching, who a few games into the season, had yet to make it to second base.

 

He hit a roller toward third, and took off at full speed -- directly toward second base.

 

No first base. Just blew right past the 'pitcher.'

 

And he slid!

 

SAFE!!!

This happened at the 15u level.

Tie game going into late innings and home plate ump has had a terrible game.

Pitcher throws a pitch and blue calls it a ball. Our catcher stands up/ mask off and says '' Are you F ing blind""   of course he was kicked out of the game and eventually off the team. ( Coach tried to punish him at practice and the kid refuse to accept his punishment. so coach told him to leave) This kid is currently playing college ball..

 

Not baseball, but softball.  We had gone to see my son's girlfriend (at the time) play softball (top notch pitcher in HS - would eventually get a nice scholarship offer).  Anyway - a pitch was fouled off behind the backstop and over the press box.  It hit the rear hatch of a SUV parked there - completely shattered the glass.  Turned out it was the plate umpire's vehicle.  Whoopsie!

I always tried to attend all my son's HS BB games and was seldom late for a start.  On one game with son's rivalry school I was very late getting there and arrived during the 6th inning and was in a rush to get in to see as much of the remaining game as possible.  Normally I don't part close to the field to be sure my car isn't hit by a foul ball.  But at this time I figure the game is just about over with not so many at bats left, so I parked in a nice close space so I could race in to see the rest of the game.  Just as I entered the gate a foul ball came flying over and sure enough landed on my car such above the windshield.    What are the odds on the one and only time I park close!!???    It's been years since then and I sill have the car with the dent there that reminds me of the occasion. 

Last HS season, the JV team was playing at a field right next to a busy four lane road. There are large trees between the field and the road to act as a screen, but they don't always work. One unlucky driver got nailed by a foul ball, hit by one of our players, as they were driving by. Scary, not really funny, but the driver handled it well, even with a cracked windshield

Less than month later, a hitter on our Varsity team hit a foul ball at a different field along a different road. This field has a net along the street, but it's not high enough. Sure enough, ball smacks car and puts a huge dent in the front passenger quarter panel. Again, driver handled it well. I've has my window shattered by an errant golf ball as I was driving down the road, so I totally understand how startling it can be.

It's hard enough to hit a non-moving vehicle, but to have two kids hit moving vehicles so close together was really screwy.

When my 2003 was 7, he was pitching in a game and was struggling to get a strike.  After walking 2 batters the coach called time out and walked out to the field to talk to him.  "Come on buddy all you have to do is relax and throw strikes"  my son snuffed a little, obviously getting upset and finally said "No it's not... I can throw them but that guy (Pointing to the umpire) has to call them strikes and he won't"  

 

Even the umpire couldn't keep the smile off of his face...

Happened to me. I was late getting to my son's LL game with my almost brand new car (less than a month) and I see a spot open right past the 1B line bleachers. Well, it was open for a reason and I would never normally park there except I see my son is at-bat. So I park, meaning to move it as soon as inning is over. Can't remember what my son does at the plate but the coach's son in the same inning puts a line drive foul right into my driver door. Big round dent. Of course. I was pretty ticked, I truly was going to move the car in minutes. Still see that dent and think of that day almost 6 years ago. I did get up to move my car and some parents gave me grief since my car already got hit so what are the odds it would happen again. I responded "I was stupid for parking there; I'd be REALLY stupid to stay and have my car hit again!" I moved it.

LL in-house all stars game.  I think it was 11U.  Real a** of a dad all season.  Son is pitching.  Dad is all over the ump (and not in a nice way) about his strike zone.  Son comes up to bat.  Dad goes behind the backstop (it had the black mesh on it but you can still see through it).  Ump calls a strike on his son on the corner of the plate.  Dad releases a tirade directed towards the ump about his strike zone.  Ump calls both coaches and on-duty board member on the field and lets them know that if this behavior keeps up the game will be suspended until the dad is removed.  Next pitch dad's son fouls one up and over the backstop right into the windshield of a car parked on a side street in a very bad spot.  Turns out it was the dads car. 

 

 

Playing a team from Japan.  Great team and a very good game.  My BIL speaks fluent Japanese and over the years my son has picked up on a few phrases.  Nothing major, just some basic counting and greetings.  My son is playing first.  He knows a pick off is coming his way.  Right before the pitcher makes his move he looks at the runner on 1st and says "ohayō gozaimasu".  Which is basically good morning.  Runner looks at him for a second.  Startled that someone is speaking Japanese to him.  The hesitation on his move to first was enough of a delay to get him picked off.  

 

The remainder of the game that kid and mine are going back and forth with each other at first base.  All of it was gibberish.  My kid throwing any phrase he can think of in Japanese out there and the Japanese kid throwing anything he can come up with in English.  Neither is fluent in the other language.  You would hear things like "where's toilet" out of the Japanese kid or "Hamburger" . My son would just start counting or saying thank you over and over again.  By the end of the game both kids were cracking up.

 

I have a nice picture of both of them after the game.   

 

 

T-ball... Coach had the players take knee after practice and begins talking to the little guys.  He was a little long winded and kept using the reference "for instance", pronounced "fer-instince"...

For instance, if a ball is hit to third base, you need to...
For instance, if...., you should...

This goes on for about 5 minutes until finally one of the boys raises his hand. 

Coach: "Yes Jonny?"
Jonny: "who's fer-instance?"

And that concluded practice that day.

11u baseball:

-Pitcher throws the ball, it is hit directly back at pitcher he catches it, out #1.

-Pitcher throws the ball, it is a dribbling grounder that barely gets to the pitcher who promptly throws to first, out #2.

-Pitcher throws the ball, kid bunts incorrectly almost directly at pitcher, fields the ball, throws to first, out #3....everyone chuckles, even the opposing teams parents.

 

Next inning, same pitcher:

-Pitcher throws the ball, it is hit directly back at pitcher, out #1...he chuckles, grins widely, the umpire smirks, the opposing team starts yelling good humored things like "Your pitcher looks tired, you should take him out!"...overheard on deck batter being told by teammate "what ever you do man, do NOT hit it back to the pitcher!"

-Pitcher throws the ball, it is hit directly back at pitcher, out #2...pitcher falls off the mound laughing so hard, ump calls time because he is laughing so hard he had to take his mask off...the ribbing from the other parents about taking out the pitcher continues (all good natured).

-Pitcher throws the ball, kid pops it up, short stop calls off pitcher to make the catch, out #3 and the kid at bat yells to his team "AT LEAST IT WASN'T THE PITCHER!!!"

 

Best memory of baseball we have, my son and I still talk about it, he was the pitcher...most fun he ever had on the mound

 

 

I have 2.

 

About 8 years ago bought a brand new van. Went to a tournament 2 days after. I parked 3 rows back nowhere near a field. Off I go to coach, Hours later, we are headed to the car to go home. My wife says, "I moved it closer, when parking lot emptied out in between games". Sure enough 2 big dents in hood of car. It was my fault evidently for not telling her why I parked 3 rows back

 

15 or 16U, played a team from Saudi Arabia. Mostly American boys that lived over there. During the game, they were chattering in what I assumed was Arabic. Our boys were trying to figure out what they were saying, calling a play etc. I was coaching 3rd base and they were in the 3B dugout so their coach and I were chatting in between inning and I told the coach what my boys were saying, trying to figure out "the play" based off what his team was saying. He laughed and saying they weren't speaking anything, Just gibberish to mess with my kids head. They did that to everyone in USA  for their own amusement. I never told my team, let them have their fun .

HS fall ball, JV game:  one umpire (normal for fall JV) and I was coaching.  I knew the umpire well, we had a good relationship.  Pitch was delivered and opposing batter takes a hack, but holds back... In an effort to teach my catcher to talk to the umpire, I said "hey Jonny, ask the umpire if he went.  He's a pretty nice guy, you might get that call."  Umpire looks at me in the dugout.

Umpire: "you want to know if he went, ok"

The umpire looks down the first base line, points and hollars "DID HE GO?"  Then the umpire takes off his mask and leaves it at his feet... Runs down the first base line, turns around to face home.  Hollars back with hand signal "HE DID NOT GO!". Umpire sprints back to home plate, picked up his mask and puts it on.  Takes his position behind the catcher, looks over at me casually and shrugs... "He didn't go coach?".

Both dugouts, coaches, and stands were laughing historically!  I still laugh when I think about it.

No story here just wanted to reinforce the poor parking judgment of wives. Mine just loves to get as close as possible and has the dents to prove it.Very stubborn.

I have three that come to mind and always make me chuckle.

 

10u travel game against a rival. The game ends on some strange play. As I'm walking off the field one of our parents behind the fence at the plate says, "That's stupid!" A assistant coach from the other team standing on the field replies and the conversation goes as follows:

 

their guy: "No. You're stupid."

 

our guy: No. You're stupid."

 

their guy: "You're stupid!!"

 

This went on for another thrity seconds. Both guys are elementary school prinicipals so I guess that's where they get their debating skills.

 

 

I'm coaching and notice a woman come sit down in the bleachers next to a couple of our parents. She's an aunt or something. "This place is crowded. I can't believe I found a parking space right next to the (CRASH!) ...fence."

 

On my second date with my current wife, I take her to a Braves game at Turner field (she's a huge Braves fan). They are playing the Cubs. Just to show her how damn baseball smart I am, I tell her (as he is at bat), "Sosa is over-rated." The words aren't even completely out of my mouth as he sends one 502 feet over the center field fence.

 

Just this past weekend….

Mom “ I was watching some of the stuff going on in the Pineapple League…”

 

Son “ Mom it’s the Grapefruit League”

OK, here are two for me.  Each time I hear the title, I think something completely different than what other people do.

 

BRING IN THE CLOSER!

9u little league kid pitch game, fall ball at that.  Games are timed, plus a limit of 5 runs an inning. We are visitor and down by six runs.  No worries, as there is about 30 minutes left in the game.  Home team coach lets his pitcher throw one pitch, then calls time and walks to the mound, talks to the kid, looks at me and yells "I'M BRINGING IN MY CLOSER!".  He brings in a kid who has never played baseball before to pitch.  The kid can't throw or catch.  He proceeds to walk eight batters on consecutive pitches, all the while chasing each return pitch from the catcher.  Time runs out.  That was his closer.

 

GET BETTER SEATS!

In the Astrodome in late '80's. Late in season, Astros are playing, but out of it, Astrodome is virtually empty.  It's an echo chamber.  Mid-game, I go sit in section behind home plate.  There is a more than slightly inebriated heckler directly behind home plate in the front row.  He is giving it to the home plate umpire for the last 4 innings.  Everything he yells echo's all over the park.  In those days, the exit to the field was behind home plate.  Umpire rings up the last Astro, heckler gives it to him for the call.  The umpire crew then jog towards the exit under the heckler.  Home plate ump looks up as he exits, smiles and says "GET BETTER SEATS!"

My ex wife pulled up to my son's high school game after it already started. When she got to the stands I pointed out there's a reason why those spaces are always available close to the field. She snapped at me, "You don't tell me what to do anymore" showing her new found freedom. Two innings later a foul ball broke her windshield. A friend nudged me and said, "That alone is worth paying alimony."

In 9/10 baseball I gave take home baseball quizzes to the players a couple of times per season. They were encouraged to do them with parents and bring them back. I purchased special baseball cards at the mall card shop for prizes. The questions could be anything about baseball such as rules, where did the NY Yankees move from, and who was the last player hit to 500 home runs. One one quiz I asked "Who's on first?" The correct answer is "yes." Half of the 9/10s responded "Greg" (our first baseman).

4-year-old T-ball where everybody plays every inning (8+ outfielders if necessary), everybody bats and the last in lineup gets to round the bases.  My husband is coaching 1st base and goes to the plate to tell our last hitter not to stop at 1st base but to keep running as hard and fast as he can.  Husband jogs back to 1st just as the kid whacks it off the tee, takes off running and blows through the 1B bag, runs all the way down the chalk line to the right field fence. Half the outfield chased him out there.

Saw this live on TV.  Game went real late that day...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCNmJnmlfQ4

 

BTW NSFW or watching when kids are around.  

 

You need to watch until the very end when security shows up.  

That's about what the Cubs where worth back in those days. 

You ever got to tell your wife what to do?  I never had that day ...even once.