Game of failure for who?

Been in both spots, as a player & a parent & I always come back to this thought. As a player, you are never really perceived as good or as bad as you view your own performance. Same as a parent interpreting their kids performance on the field.

Think about it. If you are watching a game & a kid you know is a good pitcher is getting shelled, you may think; "Oh well, tough day for Johnny, but he will be back next time. No big deal." On the other hand, if you are the player or parent you are living & dying with every pitch. You imagine an intense focus on your performance & the whole world is witnessing your implosion when things go bad. The truth is that most others pay scant attention & the episode, although excruciatingly painful, is quickly passed & we are on to the next inning, game, at bat etc.

The players who excel are somehow able to shed these negative feelings, learn from the experience, retain their confidence & thrive in an incredibly difficult game. I do not think the parents ever truly learn to cope

justbaseball posted:

I dunno. I always wished my kids were hitters instead. Seemed like it would be a lot less nerve wrecking. Both were hitters through HS. I rarely felt anxious about it. I did pretty much all of the time when they pitched and they were two of the best pitchers in the area.   Still, felt pretty darn anxious. 

The only other position I ever heard anyone else express the terror that I sometimes feel was catchers parents. I can understand why. Runner on 3rd, game tied.  Yeah, that would be nerve wrecking too I suppose. 

I have to concur. I had a pitcher and a catcher. Both were stressful. I did not stress too much when they were batting though. At least I do not remember it now if I did. But when they were pitching and catching, I remember it well.

The catcher was allowed to call his own games in HS and travel. That actually made it kind of worse. 

OMG, people?  It's whom.  WHOM!

I have been dying to say this for days!!!  Thank you for posting it!!!

Catching parents and pitcher parents share a common bond. Look on every single pitch the pitcher has to make a play "the pitch"  and the catcher has to make a play. Every single pitch of the game. The LF might not get one play to make. He might have a busy night at get 7 plays to make. It's just the nature of the game. There was a time I bored in on every single pitch. Towards the end of my son's career I found baseball peace. I simply came to the conclusion I had nothing to do with it. It was his deal. He either made the plays or he didn't. He was tough enough to deal with it. The Sun was coming up tomorrow either way. He was still going to be that awesome young man I love regardless. The "effort" the "toughness" the mere fact he was willing to put it all out there and own it no matter what the outcome. That was all that ultimately mattered to me.

So if you can find your baseball peace. Enjoy it. He might get shelled. He might not be able to throw it in the ocean that day. You can bet it's not because he is not trying with all his heart. And if he's a ball player he will get right back on that horse and ride. There will be good days. There will bad days. On the field. But in reality there all good days. JMO

I am in the Coach May camp and learned to get over it but I certainly understand those who don't.  I don't think one side of the argument - pitcher-versus-hitter, can convince the other.  Some people will always be nervous watching their kids play regardless what position they play and some will "eventually" learn to relax and enjoy the experience no matter what the outcome. 

Everyone in this game will experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  Everyone can obviously appreciate the highs but if you cannot deal will the lows the game will eat you up.  These feelings unfortunately can rob you of precious joy and thankfulness that you might have otherwise. 

If you think about it, the fact that your kid even has a chance to give up a homerun or strikeout in a pressure situation is a blessing that many of us do not appreciate.  There are kids out there who would love to see, walk, listen, or talk as their victory in life let alone have that same chance at baseball failure that our kids luckily have.

The previous two posts are just awesome.  As a pitche'sr parent, I can certainly see both sides of this argument.  Until my son reached college, he was a two way player with CF being his defensive position.  He was a pretty good hitter, good enough that his college coach offered him the opportunity to do both.  Once son found out that it would only be a DH role, he respectfully told his coach he would stick with pitching only.  He would have loved the opportunity to roam the outfield, but his coach explained it wasn't worth the risk of injury.  I am slowly reaching the place Coach May describes above, and after the past year my son has endured, I certainly agree with CD's post.  You never truly realize what you had until it's taken away from you or you give it up.

Actually worked the other way around for me.  I could relax and enjoy watching the games when the kids were young.  It became more nerve racking as they got older and performance started determining so much.

I envy those who can eliminate the nervousness and pressure and simply enjoy the game.  One spring training my wife and I were following a game on the Internet.  It was the tracker, it was all we could get.  You know, ball one, strike one, ball in play, double, that type of following the game.

We sat there glued to the computer for every pitch.  Knowing that every appearance could make or break making the opening day roster.  Every pitch was nerve racking and we weren't even there.  Actually that tracker might have made it worse.  We knew there was nothing we could do.  We only knew the difference between a good performance and a bad one was vitally important, not the least financially important.  We also knew that whatever happened the sun would come up the next day.

I am very good at "acting" cool, calm and collected.  Doesn't mean the stomach isn't tied in knots at times.  

I ask this one question to all parents of pitchers... When your son is getting lit up on the mound or when he just can't throw a strike... At that point, are you still enjoying that game?  If yes is your answer,  you're a very rare person.

I've seen Major League managers, Scouting Directors and former Major League players turn into nervous wrecks watching their sons play baseball.

One national Crosschecker became famous within scouting circles for the way he acted when his kid was playing.

I have sat with Greg Biggio when his son was playing and he couldn't sit still.  I sat with Roger Clemens when his son was pitching in our All American game and he was a nervous wreck.  Gave out a big gasp of relief after his son pitched.  I told him I know how you feel.  I think the pressure comes from knowing you have absolutely no control over what will happen. I'd like to think it is normal, but who knows.

PGStaff posted:

I envy those who can eliminate the nervousness and pressure and simply enjoy the game.  One spring training my wife and I were following a game on the Internet.  It was the tracker, it was all we could get.  You know, ball one, strike one, ball in play, double, that type of following the game.

We sat there glued to the computer for every pitch.  Knowing that every appearance could make or break making the opening day roster.  Every pitch was nerve racking and we weren't even there.  Actually that tracker might have made it worse.  We knew there was nothing we could do.  We only knew the difference between a good performance and a bad one was vitally important, not the least financially important.  We also knew that whatever happened the sun would come up the next day.

 

 

I know that feeling.  When my son played for a D2, they had the same.  It listed the lineup, who was at bat, position, etc along with balls, strikes, outs and play-by-play.  I have to agree that was probably worse than actually being there.  Sometimes the suspense would kill me. 

Slightly better was the webcast of the home games.  The picture and audio wasn't all that good, but at least you could actually see and hear action on the field.   It helped they had a good play-by-play commentator.

Both were better than when he played for a JuCo.  All we got then was game results an hour after the game was completed.  If we were lucky, the game stats would be posted the next day.

Wow PG, I guess I never thought about it in those terms.  Thanks a lot.  It's not that I'm not a wreck on the inside, I am just getting better at realizing that I have no control and the sun will come up tomorrow.