Going to the "next" level

quote:

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Originally posted by Bizazz:

Personally, I think the 13-14 years were the toughest on my son, even tougher than high school.

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Bizzaz,
When you say these years were toughest on your son, do you mean physically or mentally? (or perhaps both)

The beginning of puberty, which those years often are, is incredibly tough for many kids both mentally & physically


I remember seeing a discovery channel show on puberty a few years back.
The researchers gave dexterity & coordination tests to a multitude of age groups. Their data showed a massive decrease in dexterity & coordination in the 13 year old boy group.....
Something about their skills not keeping up with their growth spurts....

And don't forget, the human drives that come along with puberty..... Your little boy develops interests he can not control...

cong

Bizazz,
My son played rec ball until he was 11 years old. In our town, all the age groups were in the same complex. On a Saturday the complex would be packed with players, parents, and grandparents. The little “T” ball players played on the grass in an open area with no real field. I think we had seven fields in all to accommodate the teams. Over 50% of the “fans” were at the “T” ball fields. These “T” ball parents were going ballistic. You could hear the screams all over the complex. The oldest age group (13-14 yr olds) had only 3 or 4 parents in the stands and no one showed any emotion. The older boys had very little parental support. My son never participated in rec ball after he turned eleven because we searched out a more competitive select team and moved on. For most of the boys in rec ball, turning 13 or 14 would be their last year to play baseball. I appears many of these boys gave up baseball about the time they turned 13-14 but only after their parents gave up on them.
Fungo

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

FUNGO

Attend a LL game and see how many kids just get "dropped" off and the parents return, usually later than earlier, to pick them up

But that is a another story for another day

TRhit

You know, the sad thing about parents dropping their kids off, is that the parent could be missing more than the kid. It occurred to me one day about 6 mos. ago that I was having about as much fun with carrying my son to workouts(out of town), games, and tournaments as I had anything in my life, and I told him so. His stunned reaction will remain with me always.

...nice observation southern01................

I have to agree with Fungo on this. What he describes is probably true at most all ball parks these days. Parents are "in a wild frenzy" about every little thing when their kids are young. As the kid gets older, their emotions tend to subside. The older kids look up in the stands to see no one there. It has suddenly become unimportant to the parents and subsequently to the kids.

Knowledge is Power! Thank you Mavens and HSBBWEB!

13-14 years were tough both mentally and physically, particularly when he was 13. My son was not on the front end of the "maturity curve" so he was competing against kids who were bigger and stronger.

Mentally, he was making the jump from rec ball to playing against better competition in weekend tournaments. In addition, several of the best area competitive teams played in the city league the 13 year-old season. Our guys were getting their heads handed to them more often than not.

However, by the time he reached high school, he was at least prepared for the next step. Sticking it out made him stronger. On our team, at least, the parents stayed involved. There wasn't any "dropping the kid off". I think that support helped our boys to weather a tough period.

My son told me he wasn't going to play at each level change. We forget how intimidating watching the bigger kids can be. I stuck with him and worked hard to build his confidence telling him that it never gets any harder ; that he would grow just like the rest of them. I said" if you are good now; you will be good later" He started on HS varsity in the 9th grade at 3rd base weighing 135#s. They need parents for more than a taxi service....the emotional support side is big.

swingbuster, I agree with your assessment of a parent's role. Some parents are qualified enough to instruct their children at each level (that is, be the coach and the parent). But, for many of us, the ability to teach the game doesn't get beyond age 9-10. Except for hitting fungos, I've done very little coaching since since that age.

The one thing we can always do is encourage our sons and provide support. I certainly get disappointed when I see my son have a bad game. But he doesn't need me jumping down his throat after a game. He's hard enough on himself when that happens.

That doesn't mean I don't expect a lot of him. I do. However, I've tried to strike a balance between encouragement and pushing too hard. I dont' think there's a magic formula. Each player is different. Irrespective of how involved we are in the player's development, first and foremost they need us for support.

regarding puberty - a wise old coach told me
"do your best to be there for him, & you'll see a great human being emerge at about 17/18 yrs - if you're still living & sane"

from what I saw, if they hang it up because of no parent in the stands - they never really loved the game - more often it's a combination of job($), girl, car, and a time conflict required to keep their skills progressing - if they ever had them - as many youth players get by for years on their size & some athleticsm, and fall behind fast as other kids with a work ethic mature.

ahh, the drop-offs - the number was surprising to me as well, I was just happy they were being dropped off at a ballfield and not "home alone" or elsewhere unsupervised.

Recently, a kid I had as a 12yr (now 18) called me to talk -
however, it was 4 am, he needed a ride & some "help" and he couldn't call home - oh yea, and "bring a credit card".
He faced his Dad the next afternoon, as I was gonna call & chat with him that evening - Dad was; upset at choices made by his kid - hurt because he he wasn't called, & thankful that I'd be there for his kid. Things are ok now tho -

lefties? - - - they just aint right!

It always bothers me greatly when parents just drop off their kid and leave. Even if it's just a practice you should stay and support your kid and make them believe their goals are important. Almost always that kid is the next one to drop out of playing. Then you hear the parents down the road saying "I don't know why he decided to give it up?", in most cases he gave it up because your message to him was that it was unimportant!

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AgentDad,

While I do believe that parents should be involved with their children's activities, I don't believe all parents that drop their kids off at practice fit the "unsupportive parent" profile. I take my son to practice most of the time, and for the most part I stay. Some days though I'm unable to because my 7 year old daughter has s-o-c-c-e-r practice, or it's too cold to hang around and watch practice with two toddlers (2 & 3 years old) because my wife is working (she's a hair stylist and works a couple of evenings each week).

I love baseball and anybody who knows me knows I love my kids and will support them in ANYTHING they choose to do. But if a child is so caught up in who is there to watch them practice/play I'd guess that child is playing that sport for the wrong reasons. Of course it's wonderful when those you care for are there to watch you do something you enjoy, but you should be playing because you enjoy playing not because you want to be seen.

My 2 cents...

Jason

Flipp

The sad part is the same parents who drop their LL kids off to the coach at practice and leave are the same ones who do it at games--"What time is the game over, Coach ?"

TRhit

A little boy from my son's old team...never had a parent or grandparent at practice..or games.

Going thru some old photos I saw a pic I'd taken of him at bat...swinging with all his might..

He had potential. He was someone I would have thought would keep playing...

not so...no support system at home...went too far in the wrong direction...sad situation.

He ran over someone a while back driving without a license...killed a little 5 year old girl...

Makes me wonder what could have been...

I tend to believe that kids needs "someone encouaging them"....wish I could turn back the time for this boy...

FlippJ

I know that you are not one of those parents that asks "What time is the game over, Coach?". I for one applaud the fact that you make time for your son and your daughter and the two toddlers to boot. WOW!! That effort does not go unnoticed by your kids either. It will reap dividends later. Keep up the great work!!

I love it when parents stick around for practices and especially when they'll help out. More parents means more stations we can run, the more reps the kids can get and the more interested they stay. On the other hand, there are parents that have other obligations and they just can't be there. I've been lucky in general over the years and my teams have had supportive parents most of the time.

Texas2004, that is a very sad story.

TRhit, that is so sad but so true.

I believe parents MUST show an interest in their children in general. That isn't what I meant to say so I hope you all didn't take it that way. I LOVE being at my sons practices. I also enjoy showing up at my 7 year old daughters classroom to read the class a story during story time when she is "star of the week". All of these things show them that I'm interested in their lives and that is VERY important to them and to me.

My point was simply that just because a parent isn't at practice it doesn't always mean they aren't around or uninterested in what their child is doing.

Callaway... Thanks for the support. It definitely wasn't necessary but I appreciate it. Kids grow up so quickly it's hard to know for sure if you are doing all that you can without playing favorites. I do my best though.

Jason

As a coach/parent I have always encouraged parents to participate and for the most part they have. There are however times when that is not possible and in that situation I would rather have a player dropped off and left in my care than to have them not participating at all. "Give me a kid with a desire to play ball and I'll baby sit anytime". It might just keep them out of trouble.

FlipJ,

You do not fit the parent description I gave. As you said, you stay the majority of the time and when you can't it's for good reasons. The ones I am describing NEVER stay and when you ask them to hang around for team talks they always roll their eyes at you. These people are using coaches as an inexpensive babysitting service. If they don't have time to spend with their kids, they should have made a different decision when they were deciding whether to have one or not. The message that they send to their kids is so damaging.

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