One of sons teamamtes father was a ML pitcher, Bryan Henry. He would come down on occassion and work with the pitchers, but not on instruction, only on the mental aspect of the game. I think that showed great respect for the pitching coach and his ability to teach properly.
For some strange reason, not all former MLB players add up to good instructors, though eveyone runs to pay former players big bucks. They can provide great inspiration, not necessarily great instruction. I think that is why my son turned down an offer to instruct this fall and help over at teh HS, he can't tell at this stage what works for one player when he is trying to still figure that out that for himself.
Last year my sons pitching coach was a former MLB pitcher, Dennis Martinez. While he provided inspiration and mental approach, any instruction was left up to the roving instructor.
Same with the recruiting process, former players should add inspiration and leave the process alone unless they are a parent of the player.
Hey L8 Breaking - did you have the family discussion this weekend? If so, hope it went well.
I would try to accumulate video of MLB grandpaw doing his thing in the majors and video of your son and if any comparison can be drawn, use it big time. If there are no obvious comparisons, then you at least tried. Just a little stuff I thought of.
hey all....we had our discussion and over-all i think it went well. we were short on time, and our college visit was cancelled due to bad weather, so we'll see how well things are applied in two weeks when we go down.
also want to note that hubby talked to his mom (g'ma) prior to the conversation and she shared that she had some of the same concerns that we did.
we approached as a discussion to outline everyone's roles.....as suggested by homerun04. acknowledged that everyone had son's best interest at heart and that we all would support him in whatever direction he intends to take. this was the easy part.
g'pa's ego was ruffled when he was told that he could NOT be in the dugout during son's summer games. my toes were stepped on when g'pa suggested that hubby should make the recruiting trips and i should stick to travel plans, packing and behind the scene planning.....even though hubby and i agreed that i would go on the long distance trips and help son learn how to handle himself like a professional....
basically we compromised.....g'pa can come on recruiting trips, but not to the introduction. i'm ok with g'pa being on the board for the summer legion team, just not in the dugout. we also talked about other ways he can help.
at the end there were hugs all around and son looked relieved/happy to know that he has so much support. i think it's going to be a very good year!
also want to note that hubby talked to his mom (g'ma) prior to the conversation and she shared that she had some of the same concerns that we did.
we approached as a discussion to outline everyone's roles.....as suggested by homerun04. acknowledged that everyone had son's best interest at heart and that we all would support him in whatever direction he intends to take. this was the easy part.
g'pa's ego was ruffled when he was told that he could NOT be in the dugout during son's summer games. my toes were stepped on when g'pa suggested that hubby should make the recruiting trips and i should stick to travel plans, packing and behind the scene planning.....even though hubby and i agreed that i would go on the long distance trips and help son learn how to handle himself like a professional....
basically we compromised.....g'pa can come on recruiting trips, but not to the introduction. i'm ok with g'pa being on the board for the summer legion team, just not in the dugout. we also talked about other ways he can help.
at the end there were hugs all around and son looked relieved/happy to know that he has so much support. i think it's going to be a very good year!
Well done!! Looks like you handled the situation with grace and understanding for GP. A wonderful outcome for all.
So much for the family politics - now could you go to Washington and sit down with the Democrats and Republicans? 
sorry casey i don't negotiate with liberals.....
thanks to everyone for your advice....i really took all of it to heart and it was a big help. i did want to say that even though he took some heat.....TrHit was right on the money! g'pa did need to be redirected before it got out of control.
thanks to everyone for your advice....i really took all of it to heart and it was a big help. i did want to say that even though he took some heat.....TrHit was right on the money! g'pa did need to be redirected before it got out of control.
Great work! Congratulations!
I am pleased it is working out!
I am sure there will be more bending and compromising, but with open communication, it can all work out for the best for your son.
I am pleased it is working out!
I am sure there will be more bending and compromising, but with open communication, it can all work out for the best for your son.
quote:Originally posted by L8 Breaking:
my toes were stepped on when g'pa suggested that hubby should make the recruiting trips and i should stick to travel plans, packing and behind the scene planning.....even though hubby and i agreed that i would go on the long distance trips and help son learn how to handle himself like a professional....
I am sure I will take some heat from some for this advice but based upon my experience I agree with g'pa. I (a mom) went on two visits with my son (one official visit and one unofficial) at times when my husband was unable to go and if I had it to do over again I would have waited for a time when my husband could have joined us or gone instead. I am a knowledgeable baseball mom that can hold her own in most baseball discussions but I think coaches prefer dealing with dads rather than moms.
Yes, I know they are dealing with the player first and foremost but when parents are in tow I think coaches prefer dads. Just my opinion.
I think that may depend on the parent. There are probably some moms that would be a breath of fresh air compared to some of the dads. And even in a case where a mom may not be as knowledgeable about baseball, she probably has certain intuitions about her son that may help out. And I think if the mom wants to go and the coach is not as receptive to her, then that reflects poorly on the coach, which may be a consideration. But I think I would give coaches in general credit for welcoming either or both parents. Coaches out there, what do you think?
Casey, both of these coaches were welcoming, polite and courteous to mom. I don't think it was a poor reflection on me or these coaches...it is just my opinion. With that and $2 you can buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks.
FWIW I , as a dad, never went on any visits with the boys---it was their thing--once the choice was made I stepped in and handled the "business" end of it all
TRhit - I agree with you that is a workable solution also. It just happened that both of these trips mentioned above were half way across the U.S. involving significant air/car travel and 17 year olds are not able to rent a car so it pretty much required a parent to go along. I guess I could have declined the meeting and meal invites but I am afraid that would have sent the wrong message to the coaches.
points well taken....i would be curious to hear what the coaches take is on this.
cheapseats
My son went to Texas and New Mexico for visits---he lived in NY at the time---they had someone waiting for him at the airport---called to let me know he was in and called to let me know he was the plane returning home at the end of the visit
My son went to Texas and New Mexico for visits---he lived in NY at the time---they had someone waiting for him at the airport---called to let me know he was in and called to let me know he was the plane returning home at the end of the visit
quote:Originally posted by TRhit:
cheapseats
My son went to Texas and New Mexico for visits---he lived in NY at the time---they had someone waiting for him at the airport---called to let me know he was in and called to let me know he was the plane returning home at the end of the visit
TRhit - that was the case for one of his trips cross country as well...coach was at the airport waiting for him and it worked out well. Without getting into specifics, I'll just say it would not have been feasible in the other two situations.
l8 Breaking - I am going to eat a little crow. I guess it depends on the coach as to how they respond to moms...met with a coach for several hours this week and he could not have been any nicer or more welcoming.
quote:Originally posted by TRhit:
One thing you are missing---grandpa probably has no or at the least very little knowledge regarding the recruiting process---bring him in with his apparent aggressive nature will hurt the situation
hey all.....i just wanted to update everyone on how this situation ended up playing out.
first off, TR you were right on the money!! you aren't delicate and you don't mince words, but you've been around the bases enough to know what people are capable of. thanks for your advice!
second....i'm going to share our story with everyone not to vent or air dirty laundry, but as a cautionary tale. if we had been stronger in how we handled this situation we could have saved ourselves alot of heartaches and headaches.
in a nutshell.....g'pa (because of his mlb experience) was asked by our head coach to help put together our legion program (we moved from one post to another). having a mlb'er on the board of the program lends credibility.
in mid march we started hearing hints that g'pa would be coaching. hubby approached g'pa and asked him not to....
in april/may we continued to hear that g'pa would be coaching. son asked his g'pa not too. feared that people would think he was receiving special treatment and son wanted to do it on his own merit among other reasons for the request. g'pa assured him he would not be there as a coach.
may organizational meeting, g'pa was introduced as a coach. hubby asked g'pa, g'pa said it was in "name only" that he wouldn't be in the dugout.
fast forward to june tourney. hubby couldn't attend, son was due to pitch, g'pa was in the dugout.
i won't air the dirty details, but a family and a team are hurt. we'll fix it, time will heal wounds, and the kids will learn from it.....tough times teach you how to be stronger.
i know there are thousands of teams that fit hundreds of different molds.....but there comes a time where you put your kids in the hands of strangers and you cross your fingers, say a prayer and hope that they find success.
at that point family (all family) needs to take a deep breath, step back and understand that it's not about us anymore.....