An unidentified underground baseball counterintelligence organization recently confiscated and deciphered the following message written in very old English. It is thought to be of great interest to an obscure group of unidentified baseball scholars. Since we don’t know who they really are, we are releasing this message to the general public in the event that the reader happens to be such an obscure scholar. Caution: Much has been lost in translation.
Urgent: Send more goats!!Directions: Please play the below video while reading for added effect.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?f...p&v=ulOyin9i4JM&NR=1Attention his Royal Highness, Inquisitors, and fellow Crusaders,
There is great unrest here in the north and it is rapidly spreading throughout the land. A recent galloping poll among the villages indicates that shooting arrows at the inverted W is no longer having the desired effect. For some time now it has been rumored that the Duke of Strasburg is not a true invert, and the following top-secret video has been stolen and released over the Internet causing an enormous panic.
Upon closer inspection it has also been revealed that other distinguished members of The Great Hall use a somewhat inverted W, and had long, nearly injury free careers…. hurlers such as the late Earl of Feller and the Honorable Don of the Drysdale.
The Don of Sutton even used an elbow raising technique far more pronounced than the Duke of Strasburg without any apparent ill effects on his timing or durability.
Even the recently inducted Baron B Blyleven appears somewhat suspect and nobody threw more curveballs than he did…again, no early career ending effects.
Furthermore, it has been noted that most of the hardest hurlers in the surrounding villages use techniques similar to the Duke of Strasburg, but are unwilling to change fearing a loss in the velocity required to achieve nobility, knighthood, and a chance at a better life.
Both skinny and rotund alike no less! Just look at Sir Sale and the Baron von Broxton!
The recently retired Von Wagner, Sir Capps and Sir Hanrahan appear to typify what we see among many of our most promising future knights in training. Surely the hundreds of self taught hurlers who have developed these high velocity techniques out of the desire to throw hard cannot be expected to change now.
With the majority of villagers now questioning the inherent evil contained in the inverted W’s, inverted L’s and the like, may I suggest we drop the word “inverted” entirely and go with something upward…. say the “Uppity L”.
As always we will correlate some aspect of mechanics with arm injury. In this instance the arm in an upright L position at foot plant will be the culprit. It shouldn’t be hard to find a larger number of famous hurlers who use this technique while being injured. For starters I’ve heard the pirate Blackbeard Wilson has recently injured his elbow for a second time using this technique.
What is most needed however is to convince the villagers that even the greatest hurlers have been victimized by the evilness of the uppity L.
For example, the great K-king of Ryan finally succumbed to a UCL tear in his elbow after being plagued by bone chips early on and the magnificent Matador Martinez was often beset with shoulder problems ending in surgery while using the dreaded L.
Prince Rivera had surgery early in his career (elbow?) and several years ago had shoulder surgery in the off-season. Even the King of Clemens had the great Doctor Andrews perform the honors on his shoulder right after leaving the college of Texas. And what about the astonishing Earl of Koufax? Getting to the L at footplant surely destroyed his elbow, eh?
We’ve dealt with such uprisings successfully many times in the past. The goats of wrist curling, arm hooking, heel landing, rushing, anti-draggers, pro-draggers, have all had their days of darkness and received a good whipping for ruining arms. It matters little what we decide is the real source of evil so long as we can convince a majority. Just tell the villagers often enough and they will begin to believe it. Of course the L will become less despicable with time but by then we will have found a new culprit for our earthly plight.
Be warned however, with nothing to blame for these never-ending tragic injuries I fear a loss of confidence in our great national pastime. Without the entertainment the games provide the occasional riot will soon be of such frequency that the entire kingdom will be threatened.
The circuses must continue on schedule at all costs, thus it’s imperative that you SEND MORE GOATS! The village I’m visiting has mostly inverted W’s, an old hooker and a dragger with his back hoof nailed to the ground. So cruel! His sister is a cute little anti – dragger with her foot hovering over a bucket…wasn’t that a 70’s thing? How barbaric!
Anyhow, we need an entirely new herd of goats here ASAP to brand with uppity L’s.
After all, one can never have too many goats… and for those especially frustrated by what life as a pitcher has to offer we have designed a new and improved bow and arrow set!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?f...p&v=ulOyin9i4JM&NR=1 DEATH TO THE L!
DEATH TO THE L!
DEATH TO THE L!
LONG LIVE BASEBALL!
Your loyal Crusader in all things propaganda,
H