Heckler

Scenario; A hitter taking a poor swing at a pitch

Heckler; " get a band-aid for that cut"

Fan to an umpire: If your eyes were as big as your butt you wouldn't have missed that call.

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Coach in dugout: Looks like to strike from here, Blue.

Umpire: That's why they make me call it from over here.

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Yelled at Chris Cates, 5'3" Louisville shortstop: Mow the grass so the shortstop can see. He said it's one of his favorites.

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For short players: Are you the last one to know it's raining?

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For short pitchers: Someone left their cleats and hat on the mound.

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For wild pitchers: You couldn't throw it in the ocean from the beach.

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To a wild righthander: Maybe you're a lefty.

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For left side infielders with wild arms: Hey fifth row. Women and children first.

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When a baserunner falls down: You're supposed to untie the cleats when you buy them.

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For the player who gets sawed off at the plate and the bat breaks: Black and Decker would be proud.

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After kicking a grounder: The cow that gave his life for your glove just rolled over in his grave.

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To a hitter: That's a $300 bat and a ten cent swing.

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After a hitter pops up on the outfield grass: Outta Little League.

Oh, sorry, I thought this topic was about me, 'Heckerl'. Darn!

I prefer this one when the pitcher can't get the ball down in the strike zone..."get a bucket, he's throwing up"

For umps:

"Hey, poke a hole in that mask, will you?"

When a hard thrower isn't getting the corners: "I guess that sounded outside."

For a pitcher, after a hard line out: "Hey, you got 'em popping up!"

Back in the days when I was a skinny pitcher (hard to believe if you look at me now), I once heard, "Hey, if you'd stick out your tongue, you'd look like a zipper!"

For the last word in Heckles. Visit this site and pick your sport, ref, official, etc.

Heckle Depot

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Coach yells over at the Ump: "Hey Blue. Can I get thrown out for thinking something bad?"

Ump: "Don't think so..."

Coach: "Cuz I think your umpiring sucks!"


Ump: "You're outta' here!"

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This one happened two summers ago in a major tournament (USSSA Super NIT semifinal). I get along well with most of the umpires so I couldn't help razzing one. The HPU was a very good umpire. There was a rain delay of over an hour. When play resumed he yelled, "We have runners on first and second, 1-1 count, two outs, play ball." A few pitches later the hitter pops up. The umpire yells, "Infield fly, batter's out."

After he realized he had called infield fly with two outs, I yelled from behind the backstop, "Want to get away for a while." He shook his head and laughed along with all the people in the stands. He had a mind f@rt from the rain delay. He told me he was very happy the infielder caught the popup.

a referee made a bad call at a basketball game, i'll take that nike in a 12 w.

When a batter strikes out looking.

One guy shouts "can I help you?"

The guy next to him says "no thanks just looking"

Watching Clemens pitching for the Yankees a few years ago in great seats, second row behind the visitor's dugout. Clemens strikes out a Detroit Tiger looking for the fourth time in the game. As he's walking back to the bench, a kid who looked about 10 yells to him "Hey I can do that!"

After an especially bad call from homeplate umpire the coach yells to his wife in the stands" Honey, go start the car because I am about to get thrown out."

After a very weak pickoff move - your mother has better moves with men on.

After a rocket hit at the third baseman who tries harder to keep from getting hit than catching the ball....hey third....keep your skirt down...nice panties though!! or hey third....does your husband play?

After 4 foul balls in a row out of the park, the Home Plate Ump looks up to the press box and yells, "I need balls!" I yell back, "I told you that 3 innings ago!!!"

At a college game couple of years ago, a pitcher wasn't getting any corners it seemed, this old lady in the stands yells down at the umpire, " hey ump why don't you turn the plate over and read the directions."