High School baseball experience has been fun and frustrating

Apparently he does not agree with your thinking and he is THE COACH-- Relax Dad

bkekcs,

I know it can be difficult, but patience here is in order. It is difficult to look at the team as a whole and focus on oour won kid, but if he is a sophomore, his day is coming.

There is a reason the coach is playing these boys. He sees them every day in practice and knows what their capabilities are.

When you start focusing on these types of things the fun starts to be drained from the experience and frustration takes its place. When you just go to the games and just take it in and enjoy the experience its just fun.

You have absolutely no control over who plays , how much anyone plays , etc etc. Why spend your time at the ball park getting frustrated about things you can not control? Sit back and enjoy it. You will wish you had in a couple of years.

Thanks for the answers. You're all absolutely right. I'm also thankful for the forum to get it off my chest. I feel much better now.

My point (maybe not a good one and not explained very well) was the the perceived lack of adjustments. Maybe I watch too much ESPN

Now on to more important things. I hope the field is dry enough to get a game in today.

Where I agree with everything everyone is saying here... I think it is important to acknowledge The Coach is NOT always right, but his opinion is the only thing that matters.

My son is in the same situation right now, his time will come.

Coach May hit right on the head. Son being a Senior I can look back on his first two years and can't say I realy enjoyed them the way I should have. He played every inning as a JV player. Some how I seemed be able to find something to be unhappy with. In his Jr. year and now his Sr. I am doing much better realizing this is the end.

Thanks for the advice Coach May wish I had it 3 years ago.

With all due respect to the good high school coaches, there are some real pieces of work in the high school baseball world. It's not worth getting aggravated over. It's not worth losing sleep over. Recruiting is going to come from travel ball.

Its not about recruiting. Its not about being noticed , getting on the radar any of that stuff. Its about enjoying the experience while you have it. And its about not allowing your negative attitude or your frustration to steal the fun out of it for your kid as well as yourself. And believe me it happens all the time.

Of course there are some coaches out there that are not as good as others. That has absolutely nothing to do with what I am talking about. You could have a great coach and there will still be people unhappy and poed about how he does what he does. Then they wake up one day and wish they had just relaxed and let their kid have fun and let themselves have fun as well.

And I have seen some coaches that had no clue who had parents that had no clue and everyone was as happy as they could be. Good coaches catch as much grief or more than the bad ones. Remember not every parent is as baseball wise and savy as the members on this board.

quote:

Originally posted by Coach May:

Why spend your time at the ball park getting frustrated about things you can not control? Sit back and enjoy it. You will wish you had in a couple of years.

Coach, if only THEY knew what words you just spoke and the harsh reality of it very, very soon.

They think that they're frustrated now, etc...just wait until their son's freshman year in college. I was talking to my son between a conference DH last weekend while he ate a sub sandwich, enjoying his company, laughing, etc. All of a sudden I look behind me and a dad of one our freshman players corner the Headcoach and starts talking/asking him about his son's playing time, can he get him some more innings, he's a heck of a pitcher, etc, etc, etc. The coach looks at him and simply says.."I don't talk to player's parents sir..this isn't little league". Of course me and my son wanted to crawl in a hole. It was quite uncomfortable to watch needless to say.

My son pitched 77 innings his Senior year in high school as the No. 1. Had 70k's and ended the season with a 0.90 ERA. Broke the school ERA record, blah, blah, blah. So far this season at his JUCO he has pitched 21 innings out of 357 total in relief and he is happy as a pig in slop for those 21, and even happier to be there. He went 3 weeks during the season without toeing the rubber and guess what...? It built some patience and character in him.

Parents, sit back and realize your son WILL get his time. Don't rush it. Once it's gone, it's gone forever. Challenge yourself to be one of those parents who support the Coach, his staff, and the players no matter WHAT happens during the season. Be that parent who stands and cheers all during the game. Be that parent who high five's players after a game win or lose and encourage them on to the next game. They need to know you guys are behind them. Not backstabbing, belittling, berating, and second-guessing the Coach(s).

quote:

Originally posted by YoungGunDad:
Parents, sit back and realize your son WILL get his time. Don't rush it. Once it's gone, it's gone forever. Challenge yourself to be one of those parents who support the Coach, his staff, and the players no matter WHAT happens during the season. Be that parent who stands and cheers all during the game. Be that parent who high five's players after a game win or lose and encourage them on to the next game. They need to know you guys are behind them. Not backstabbing, belittling, berating, and second-guessing the Coach(s).

Up at the HS to watch another game last night, even when I saw some goofy errors, I was thinking how much I miss those HS years.
We all have been through it, at one level or another, where our kids sat more than we liked, and often couldn't understand the coaches decisions.

Funny part is, this scenerio doesn't change, so just sit back and relax and enjoy every moment.

quote:

Parents, sit back and realize your son WILL get his time. Don't rush it. Once it's gone, it's gone forever. Challenge yourself to be one of those parents who support the Coach, his staff, and the players no matter WHAT happens during the season. Be that parent who stands and cheers all during the game. Be that parent who high five's players after a game win or lose and encourage them on to the next game. They need to know you guys are behind them. Not backstabbing, belittling, berating, and second-guessing the Coach(s).

That is very true. good post. My son had a JC game the other day. They played horrible, including my son, just like they were asleep. One of the moms behind me who's son is a role player just would'nt stop saying how horrible they were and how they were'nt as good as last year blah blah bla, then she made a comment to take the starters out since they weren't getting it done.My son is a starter and has had few errors and he had two this day, has helped lead this team, along with other guys.
I understand parents that want their kids to get a chance, but this went on for nine innings, I finally just turned and said "why are you so negative"She was like I am usually positive, I told her " not today you aren't", you dont think those boys know they are having a bad game,as a parent I am watching my son have a bad game in "front of a college coach who came to see him play.
She just almost ruined the game( was kinda ruined cause they were losing and not playing like they can play).After the game a couple parents approached me and told me they were ready to do the same thing.
The coach picks his nine guys and some subs, the others had their chance off and on all year, but one bad game does not define you as a player. and these same guys have won many games for us with their defense, hits, HR, RBI, just frustrating to realize that the parents of kids who don't get to play are just waiting for the rest of the kids to mess up. How sad is that. Why cant we cheer them on as a team.
And if my son as a true freshmen didn't get to play this year I would of cheered for those sophmores that have been there, some three years.
Really HS is a time to have fun, I was told this same stuff when we were going through it. The recruiting and stuff will happen if your son is good enough and if not just enjoy the season.

quote:

She just almost ruined the game

Actually, she did ruin the game or I doubt you would have commented about it. This stuff is human nature and happens at every level of the game including the big leagues. The way I deal with the negativity, especially when someone wants to point out the flaws in my son's game is to direct them to watch their favorite big leaguers play like Derick Jeter or David Wright. You know what? For some strange resaon, those guys still continue to make errors. Why is that? Because... the nature of the game does not allow perfection and that is the simple answer. Those who want to make petty insults like this do not understand the game imho. Although they tick me off as well, basically the trick is to pay no mind to them. I do admire you for saying something to her however

Getting recruited is certainly not all of it. However, one has to look at possibly the greatest coach of all time - John Wooden. He felt that as a coach he was a teacher.

Now let's take a HS teacher? What is their job? It is to help their students prepare for the next step in life, be it college or the working world. The best teachers are doing everything they can to help the students who have a chance get into the best college for that student.

Now let's assume that every HS coach in their role as a coach is primarily a teacher whether they teach an academic subject or not. What is their job? Their job as a coach is to win. Their job as a teacher is to help the players get to the next step in their baseball careers whatever that may be and that certainly includes helping their players with the recruiting process.

Having said that I agree with Coach May that getting frustrated does no good. Take it from one who has made that mistake more than most.

Just FYI, college and Milb are fun and frustrating, too.................

Gives, "Fun, ain't it?", new meaning, don't it?

quote:

Originally posted by FormerObserver:
Just FYI, college and Milb are fun and frustrating, too.................

Gives, "Fun, ain't it?", new meaning, don't it?

Exactly! There are t-ball parents across this country getting upset today because their little one is in the outfield. There are minor league parents feeling frustrated because their son is moving up. There are HS parents complaining about the game last night and that the coach should have done so and so.

There are frustrations at every level of the game. If that's where your child plays, it can be easy to focus on things outside of the fact that your child is getting to play this wonderful game. I'd give anything to see my son in a uniform again... bench or playing. They are joyous days that are quickly gone by. Don't spend the moment concentrating on the coach you don't like, the kid's you don't like, the line ups you don't like. Breathe in the sounds, the plays, the atmosphere, and the opportunity that lies before your child that will someday be gone.

I hope everyone can have a beautiful day at the ballpark today watching and enjoying someone!!

while we all have our bad day's with hs ball, think back to how you felt playing high school ball. representing your school,the team comraderie. it can't be duplicated.

you can go 5 for 5 at a travel ball game and nobody knows but the parents.(unless your a top 100 prospect,and subscribe to BA.) do that at a hs game and everyone knows it. that can't be duplicated.

while it can/is frustrating as parents, i'm not sure kids feel the same way. ask your neighbor his memory's of youth baseball, i'll bet it is a good one. even if he didn't play much. it's just that kind of a game.

last year son was starting jv catcher played every inning as a freshman ,this year backup on varsity,starting catcher is 4 year retuner going to D1 school.I ask son if he could play jv or varsity this year what he wanted to do,he said varsity now he is only soph on a team of 16 with 11 seinors 4 jr his role and he knows it is to warm up pichers and bullpen and LEARN LEARN LEARN we have had blow out in games and he is still on bench as a parent i am upset that he dosent get to play but this is varsity and u have to pay your dues.As a parent this year is hard for me do to him sitting but he is happy and in the end isn't about the kid and not what the parents are saying.With this said the coach talk to the varsity players the other day and told them my son was going down to play in the remaining jv game and when there was no jv game he would dress with varsity,and he would still practice with the varsity. I think my son has the best of both world he will be playing and still learning and next year he will be the one behind the dish.he told me all the team wished him well and to show them why thay pick him to be on varsity this year

My son is just a few games from playing his last HS game. His year on the Jv squad was every bit as fun to us as varsity even though no one else seem to care the outcomes. I too was frustrated very much his sophomore year, I finally came to the conclusion to sit back and enjoy what few years he had left. It all happens so fast. To me lately it was the recruiting process that was frustrating, that is over and now we're on cruise control. The cream always rises to the top. If he is good, his time will come.

quote:

To me lately it was the recruiting process that was frustrating, that is over and now we're on cruise control.

OK I understand from a Parent's point of view that your recruiting process is complete.
But there's a lot of time between his Sophmore year and the end of his senior year.
Thing's happen that might determine a different path to college.
What I mean is don't put every egg in one basket.
Keep your option's open.
Son had a back-up plan, did not sign at a D1 till after his senior year. And I'm glad he waited before committing to any coach or team.
No cruise control, keep looking and keep playing hard always until he steps on campus.
JMO
EH

As much as I support and believe in the value of travel baseball, I think it has contributed to the issue of kids and parents not wanting to pay their dues. While I know this has been going on forever, travel baseball has thrown fuel on the fire.

It seems every kid who plays for a travel team believes they should be starting varsity by sophomore year, whether they perform well or not for the high school team. I listen to parents berate the HS coaches because Johnny isn't starting. Well he's a soph who did not show well at tryouts and hasn't hit well at JV games, AND the team is loaded with Jrs. and Srs. who are performing. But since he played travel and may have started there, he is entitled to a varsity spot. And of course the coach sucks.

I guess sometimes good things have some negative side effects. The growth of travel baseball seems to have made coaching high school baseball more difficult.

I did not explain myself well in the initial post. The points of frustration were two-fold.
First, the lack of JV games being played (due to weather) and second, no apparent adjustments made to put some life blood into a floundering varsity team.

The mention of wishing to see my sophomore son get some playing time was just a casual comment regarding a wish I think all red blooded American parents think about. It was not meant to be a complaint about his playing time. He gets good playing time in the JV games when they are played as was mentioned in the original post.

I have taken to heart the reminders that the decisions regarding the team are the coach's responsibility not mine.

Thanks for all the responses.

I saw all the same things mentioned about a team gouing thru lean years with long losing streaks. The varsity would be hanging their heads, JV plays competitive and stuff, I seen it and my son played thru it. First off, I don't buy into a successful JV team will necessarily be better than a weak varsity team. The game is much different from JV to V and the pitching is far suuperior on the varsity level and I don't believe that jv success automatically transfers to varsity success. There might be specific JV players who could fill a hole or may be varsity ready, but not as a whole. Freshman year, my son platooned and was a closer so he didn't get many AB's but soph and junior year he played every inning. Only thing was he was playing great ball on the JV level and by his junior year was making plays that should've had him starting on varsity as opposed to making varsity during the middle of the seasonand continue playing JV. His bat and glove were wasted down there his junior year but he said at least he plays evey day comapared to most of the juniors on varsity who sat. In my son's situation, I was right because by time he finally got a longer look by the varsity coach and got his shot in the conference tournament to start working his way in the lineup, by senior year, he had a strong preseason with the bat and glove and was among the conference batting leaders for a good part of the season. By getting the starting spot and a regular batting spot in the middle of the order, he lengthened the lineup hitting from the 3-hole and had a direct impact on every win in his senior year. It was still a long year because they didn't have enough pitching.

But in the end, you have no control of that stuff. I thought my son should've been starting from day one in his junior year on varsity but the teams for the last 6-7 years until this year were senior laden teams. It is what it is and the way my son looked at it, over his 4 years, he played a lot. One of the division rivals called up 7 new JVs who were juniors but all make an impact on the team as seniors. That's how they do things. A number of their players will go on to play college ball despite not getting a full time role until their senior year.

In high school ball, you work with the hand that's each year. That's just how it goes. Sure you shake your head at what the coach does at times but it's probably easier to criticize when the losses pile up and in the end, the players have to execute.

That's real unusual here in Georgia to have Juniors playing down on the JV team. Then again, we never have many Senior laden teams either.

If you're not playing Varsity by your Junior year, it's usually the end of the baseball road here.

I like your son's attitude Zomby!