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High School to College

FungoFungoHighly Regarded and Beloved Old Timer
Many of your sons will make that much anticipated move up to college and college baseball in just a few weeks. I know when my son left I had many questions and few answers. I relied on the HSBBW to help me understand some of the changes that were about to take place. For the parents of freshmen, let me ease your mind. The first thing I noticed was how easily the players adjusted to each other. Maybe it’s because they have done this before when they joined a new team. The other thing I noticed was how they took the separation from the parents in stride...You know...the hug and “see ya later” and they just turn around and walk off with their new found friends .... while their Mother cries all the way home. I think the “homesick” feeling takes a while to build in your son. With our son it was about a months before he made any indication that he missed anything about what he had left behind. I think “Bingo” the dog was the first thing he missed.
I was pleasantly surprised how most players accepted the mundane responsibilities of taking out the garbage, washing clothes, and getting up in the morning without the prodding of us parents. I thought this would be a big problem but turns out it wasn’t with mine. Let me warn you ... there are exceptions! I did see one boy’s room that every piece of clothing this boy owned was on the floor, clean or dirty, it made no difference, mixed in with pizza boxes and aluminum cans.
Two things I had difficulty with. One was the long distance serious talks. It was difficult to have the parent/son talks over the phone and then hang-up and not be able to monitor his response or to look him in the eye. I had to modify my approach and temper my remarks. He never had any real problems but I can see that it would be difficult if he did being 7 hours apart.
The other was the long drives he would make from college to home and back. Christmas break and Thanksgiving historically bring bad weather and bad driving conditions. I would be on pins and needles and would always make it a point to have something to do to occupy my time while he made those trips while always being close to the phone.
College!! This is undoubtedly the greatest time of your son’s life. He’s building a foundation for his future! We all know that what he does in the next few years will always be HIS accomplishments as they should be. You deserve a little credit too ... because without your help and support he would not be where he is. clap
Fungo
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ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
Timely post indeed Fungo. These types of thoughts have crossed my mind along with a thousand others lately. Two days ago, my son and I were on a long ride home from his final high school age competition. For whatever reason, I was flooded by memories and feeling somewhat melancholy and nostalgic.

There were long periods of silence in the car interrupted by occasional questions from him like was Neil Young a member of CSNY when he wrote the classic tune "Ohio" which chronicled the National Guard shooting at Kent State in 1970. I told him yes, we chatted a little bit and then back to the yesteryear world in my mind. A four and 1/2 trip took about 30 minutes. All the road trips, the games, the players, the coaches, the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, the great people we met along the way and the forgetable ones.

We have looked to the next level of play for along time and are excited about where he is going to school (about 700 miles away). I am willing to let go and can only trust that things will go well for him. I do feel like an old team (me and him) is changing somewhat while a new team will soon be formed (him and his college players/coaches). I'll always be there for him but I believe he will experience a different type of growth while he is away.

While we are looking forward to moving in two weeks, all I can think of now is from the classic Bob Hope tune "Thanks for the Memories"
L lafmom5,000+ posts
Fungo, What a great post.
Cleveland Dad, You've brought the tears out!

Someone at church asked me this morning "are you excited?" I had to pause before I answered which was a bit of a surprise for me. I am excited. I am thankful for his opportunity. I feel blessed for the chance that he has been given. But I am sad too. Bittersweet is I guess the best word to describe it.

I do worry about him getting homesick. '03parent shared her son's feelings and advice about that first semester away which I shared with my son. I think they just need to understand up front that it's normal, it's ok, and that everyone else will miss home too. I can handle the thoughts of a messy room, his excitement or fear over having to earn a spot on a new team, new classroom challenges, but the thought of him missing his family and home tears me up!
O Orlando1,000+ posts
I believe it's harder initially on us as parents than the boys --- they're going somewhere new and exciting; we're at home with their (now clean Wink) room and our usual routine.

But the fun and wonder for us is the growth we see with each phone call and trip home during this transistion period between childhood an adulthood.

I was extremely pleased during my son's first trip home when he immediatly helped with dinner and cleaned up after and got his laundry started. The next day, however, was spent on the couch. When asked to explain he said "I remembered how good it felt to have you take care of me". Yup, that's me encircling his little finger..... biglaugh
LadyNmomLadyNmom1,000+ posts
Orlando.....you are right....we are having a more difficult time than son.....he is excited about school and ball. Think as a previous poster said....son will start to feel some home sickness after the newness is gone....but I hope not too much....this is a wonderful opportunity for him, and my husband and I want him to do well and be happy.

That said....we are moving to California this week.....and don't think there is any amount of "newness" about the new home and place..... that will stop me from feeling really sad when I leave him in Virginia in 3 weeks.....
AR ASU RAM FAN100+ posts
I did not know what to expect last year when my kids left for college. I found that using AOL Instant Messenger was great. It was almost like having them at home. We would "talk" about 5 minutes almost every evening. That was more than I got at home sometime. Smile I found that it was better for me to break off the conversation instead of them. That way they were more patient in responding. This will not replace hearing their voice, but it is better than sitting at home wondering if they made it though the day.

It will be difficult to see them leave in 2 weeks, but I am much more prepared than I was a year ago.
J justamom10+ posts
I too am excited about son leaving for college. It is his dream to play and now has gotten the opportunity. BUT...can he make it on his own.. will he be fine without us to "remind" him of things even though he was already doing it...will he take care of studies which is really the primary reason to be there.... The worries are endless, not because he can't or does not have the ability, but because he might do something stupid.. okay will do something stupid, but will he learn from it? I am sometimes glad he is 6 hours away and then sad, but in the end it is for the best. I am more scared for him and he is a little nervous that he is leaving his friends, but he has always made new ones when joining new teams. So as a mother I worry, but in my heart just know it is going to work out and if it does not then that is his decision and not mine. I look forward to the maturing process about to take place. I am still in the do not know anything category. Sorry to ramble, but it seems everyone here seems to understand the process going on on and off the field and in the classroom.
Even though I have not posted much I have read this website religously since son was a freshman. I have learned so much and the advice was good and practical. Learning the different posters personality has been fun to say the least.

So yes I worry about the stupid stuff to say the least.

Again thank you for all the advice over the years.
LadyNmomLadyNmom1,000+ posts
Justamom.....you said it so well....a lot of what we are feeling too....and Smokey....if you find out where all that time went....let me know....I'm looking for it too.......but I do remember....it was a fast ride....but a wonderful one too....

....are we not so very fortunate.....how many kids get to take this step to the next level? My son, coming from a very good AZ high school program...is the only player going on to a 4 year program.....keep telling myself that.....this is a good thing....and you're right Justmom....there is excitement too.......and as other posters have told us....they will mature....become more "grown-up".....just kind of sorry we'll miss that ride.....but then again....it may be a good thing..... Smile
Last edited by LadyNmom
L lafmom5,000+ posts
These posts are great. I was sharing these earlier with my son. I told him that it brought back the memory of when he went to church camp (weekend) the summer after third grade. I picked him up and he was close to tears - "Mom, I missed you so much that I thought I was going to throw up". Big Grin He denies it now - but trust me, that's what he said!!

If anyone sees a blue jeep pulled off on the side of Interstate 64 on August 16 between Lexington, KY and Robinson, IL, it will be me! Stop, say hello, and provide a tissue!!!! Big Grin
L lhpmom100+ posts
TR:
It's got to be tough having him so far. We're driving ours out, about a couple of day trip. On the way back, I think I'll let my hubby cry through Nevada and I'll probably do so through Wyoming. Meanwhile the kid will probably be soaking up the sunshine on the west coast and probably admiring the co-eds. But we raised him to be independent and we must have done something right. But the empty nest thing is going to be strange. What are we going to do with no bats or equipment bags or stinky socks to trip over by the front door. noidea
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
To all,
I know it is hard to believe that in a few weeks your boys will be beginning a new phase in their lives, and so will you.
My son was the last to leave home, a little bit easier to let go, but harder to face the thought of the empty nest.
We missed him more than he probably missed us. He was so busy with classes, practice, workouts, study hall, college extra curricular activities, football games, etc., he didn't call us as much as we would have liked, but we realized he had other things on his mind. After about a month, he began to call home on a regular basis, so don't take it personally if the phone calls don't come as often as you would like in the beginning.
Even more amazing than a year ago when he left is the realization that one year has passed already, just went by too quickly. You look back and say when did they grow up so fast, now as he enters his sophomore year, leaving home a year ago for college seemed like just yesterday.
gratefulgrateful1,000+ posts
Two years ago my son went away to school and to play ball.....340 miles away......while we as parents perhaps feel a void, our sons are jumping into a whole new world, and growing just as we have seen them grow for 18 years or so.......our sons will miss us, but they feel our love and support, and they need to feel that at times......they are becoming the young men that we have always hoped for. The love grows, the relationships become more mature for all of us.....in spite of the anxiety, it ultimately becomes another fabulous step for our sons, and also for us.

For those of you who are feeling that anxiety with your freshmen sons soon leaving, the end results are more likely than not going to be worth all of the worry. During the winter holidays, parents and sons will feel the comforts of being together again, the holiday season will fill your hearts again, and when your sons head back for their first college baseball season, a new excitement begins again.

And, thank goodness for cell phones!!
catchermom03catchermom03500+ posts
Two years ago I let a shy, somewhat insecure youngman go eight hours away to school...it was something I cognitively knew needed to happen but it nearly ripped my heart out of my chest...I am the type of parent who needs to know who, what, where, why, and with who...so allowing him to make this transition nearly put me on Prozac...Instant messanger was a wonderful help...knowing my anxiety he would always place a message as to where he was Smile...phone calls frequently allowed me to "hear" if he was ok Big Grin...I questioned my parenting skills... did I tell him this...did I tell him that...yes there was the frantic call from the laundry room a few weeks after he arrived on what temp certain clothes were to be washed at...and the car died last year so we had to find a station that would not only fix it but let it stay there during winter break...but we solved these problems and went on...I admit that each and every time we saw him I cried a bit especially upon leaving Frown...but what has emerged over these 2 years is a confident, mature youngman...something I doubt would not have happened had he stay here with "Mom"...I do believe he has become so much the better person for having to live on his own and become self reliant...NOW...the next hurdle for me to cross is his moving, this year, off campus with 4 other boys into a "baseball house" Eek...would someone please pass the Prozac pull_hair
Last edited by catchermom03

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